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Ep.102 Sijara "Sarj" Eubanks

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Sex and violence with rebel girl is presented by UFC fight pass. See the best that UFC fight pass has to offer on the fight past 24/7 stream, offering a constant channel of historic fight action all day all night. Tune in sit back and enjoy a network created by fans for fans. Step into our world. UFC fight violence Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl presented by UFC fight pass the show that interviews top level MMA fighters and other experts in their fields about love, dating, romance and that AlTi taboo subject sex. I'm your host, Ashley, rebel girl Evans-Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence.

Unknown Speaker 1:13
What's happening hot stuff. What's up on my naughty listeners? We're back with another episode. It's still Pride Month. So I'm excited to have a openly gay athlete as our guest this week. She's got a big fight coming up. But before we get to our guest, I did want to talk about a few things. UFC fight week is in two weeks or one week July 1. So it's not one week away. One week away. Yeah. Next week. So one week from now, I will be at the international fight week that the UFC does every year. And this week, it's July 1 That whole weekend, I'll be at the UFC x which is at the Las Vegas Convention Center from 12 to one o'clock. It's a very short window. But if you guys wanted to stop by if you're going to be out there, I'll be out there promoting this podcast that's now available on UFC fight pass. If you're listening on Spotify, or iTunes or any of those other platforms, you're definitely missing out on a very fun part of the show. It's the fan questions, it's your questions that we actually ask the guest and that's exclusively on UFC fight pass. So just want to remind you guys that that events going on. And if you also have not subscribed to UFC fight, pass, now's the time to do it, they're having a special you get the first first year half off when you sign up. Now, a few other reminders, if you guys want to check out the website, that's sex violence with rebel We're always rotating in new merch designs, T shirts, hats, phone case, whatever it is, it helps us out a lot, you know. So go purchase something I think probably, you know, after July, we'll do another giveaway. You know, write to us, send us an email and let us know what you want us to give away some merch or assigned glove, like we've already done in the past. Maybe we can do some like, I don't know, some kind of tickets to like a local event, you know that we're all going to go to like create some kind of fan experience. You know, I've been getting a lot of like, meet and greet requests lately, but maybe we can just do like a big fun get together and like, buy somebody's tickets to a van or something like that. So we're gonna figure something out for you guys. So and then if you want to write to us in that email, that email is sex and violence If you want to, you know, suggest a guest or if you want to be a sponsor for the show, we are always accepting applications, I guess, it doesn't always mean we're gonna sponsor you, but we can, you know, we'll, we'll chat you know, we've got some amazing sponsors already. I'm really excited to go out to UFC fight week. And, you know, just kind of put the word out that we are a podcast because I know you guys listening, know that we're a show. But if you know, the more eyes that see the show, the more downloads and more listens, that helps us out. So with that being said, a free way that you guys can help us is if you share this podcast, send a link to a buddy that you might think listens. So also rate and review, it takes two seconds. If you have a iTunes account, you can go on their Spotify, I don't think you can write a review but you can give us a couple stars, four stars, five stars, whatever you think so please do that guys. And like I said, I'm really excited about this guest because she has an upcoming fight. And she is an openly gay athlete who has a strong LGBTQ plus AI. I said that backwards you know she She's an advocate for all the letters and we're going to talk about her journey into her discovering her sexuality. So let's get to our guest I'm so excited guys. Okay, I say guys, not the girls. Sorry ladies, this one's not for you. This one is for all my listeners with some whiskers. You know, like mutton chops, a goatee mustache, a full mint. No, no one has blue mint shoes anymore. But about like a side beard or a neck beard or just a good old fashion, you know, face beard. This is for you guys. We are now in partnership with the best facial hair oil in the business. And they're called Rebel apothecary how fitting is that? It's perfect, right? We didn't even plan that these guys are the best. They're the best beard oil in the game. And they I know this because not because I have a beard. But I know many hairy men jujitsu guys MMA fighters, and I've given this product to them. And they said it's great. It keeps your face maintained and it smells good too. Guys, please check them out. They are a family owned and operated business. And you can use our discount code rebel to get 25% off your entire order. Find them on Instagram at rebel dot apothecary or online at rebel Check them out rebel apothecary beard oil.

Unknown Speaker 6:10
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Unknown Speaker 9:37
All right, we're here, new guest new episode. So Jarrah, Sarge Eubanks, thank you so much for coming on the show. How are you?

Unknown Speaker 9:47
I'm doing fantastic. Thanks, Ashley. I'm super excited to be on and thanks for having me.

Unknown Speaker 9:51
Yeah, I love it because you know you have a really exciting fight coming up. So you know you're like relevant but you're also an LGBTQ advocate and it's Pride Month. And so you're the perfect guest to have on this week. And you and I spoke earlier and I didn't know this, you know, but this weekend specifically is like the the weekend of the month, correct?

Unknown Speaker 10:15
Yeah, this is the New York Pride weekend. It's 25th and 26th. The New York Pride Parade is like the highlight of the weekend. It's like the Mardi Gras of the month for Pride Month. So lots of cities have their own prize, but New York City Pride holds it down. And this weekend, is it tight?

Unknown Speaker 10:31
Now? I've only I think I mean, for sure. In college, I went to pride in San Francisco. Now, I don't know if it's because I'm being like, NorCal. But is it San Francisco like the best pride?

Unknown Speaker 10:44
Okay, I'm pretty sure everyone in San Francisco will probably agree with you. Goes girl through and through. So okay, I will say it's New York, San Francisco is definitely got a big one. And actually, I'm Sao Paulo, Brazil has one of the biggest primaries in the world. So there are probably some rival grades. I could be a little biased. We work has been my

Unknown Speaker 11:03
highlight for sure. Okay. All right. And that's because you're from where?

Unknown Speaker 11:07
I'm actually from Massachusetts, but I'm living in New Jersey. I've lived in Maryland for a long time. So I'm just kind of East Coast girl.

Unknown Speaker 11:14
Okay. Okay. And where are you training at right now?

Unknown Speaker 11:18
Right now I'm training in Freehold, New Jersey. I'm under Mark Henry. And Ricardo Mehta and all those Jersey guys, I train a lot with Caitlin she Kagan. So jersey is kind of big. We don't have like a team name. But I trained under Mark Henry.

Unknown Speaker 11:31
Okay, awesome. Yeah. What an amazing training partner to have just another female best one of the best in the world.

Unknown Speaker 11:39
Yeah, I'm trying to uh, Caitlin has been great. We've been training together like five years now. And it's just been like leveling up year after year. real critical to each other's camps. And we become like, really good friends. And I That's my girl. I'm hoping she comes. I'm trying to see if she'll come to practice we get actually

Unknown Speaker 11:56
support. All right, nice. So let's talk fighting. You have a big fight coming up? I thought I knew but actually it got postponed. So who you're fighting? When is it going to happen? Where's it going to happen? How are you feeling?

Unknown Speaker 12:12
I'm super excited. We've got Marina Maryrose. We were supposed to find July 9 is now going to be September 17. UFC is rolling these cards out. So the contract says TBD for location. Don't know. It reminds me of like early COVID days where I'm like, sure it's gonna be Vegas, but it also could randomly at the last second be anywhere. But it's definitely gonna be on ESPN plus, definitely gonna get the viewership. And yeah, I'm super excited. We got delayed a little bit. I think Marina had an emergency or injury or something like that. So we reached out to each other. And Mick made it happen. And we're up in September 17, though.

Unknown Speaker 12:52
So what do you do in that situation where you have a fight set, and you start kind of prepping the structure like so you pick at the right time, and then it gets pushed back? You know, this far, like, you know, so you're not going to just be in full flight camp until September 17. So what's your plan?

Unknown Speaker 13:11
Um, well, I took the last week off, and I'm actually starting to pick it back up, we definitely had to pull off the gas. I actually signed for Marina, like, back in March, like it was a long time, we had that fight on the contract for like 14 weeks. So I have, I wasn't like full camp and about two and a half, three weeks out. And she called. So I mean, we just just took a break, rest it up, sort of rehydrate it relax my legs, took a week off, and we'll get back sorted up ticking just in a regular training. And then about eight weeks out, well, we'll slim it but like, like, opponents pull out on me all the time. All the time, constantly. I get pulled out some delays all the time.

Unknown Speaker 13:48
So I'm kind of useless. You know, I don't watch The Ultimate Fighter. I guess like I should, you know, I feel like people are like, Oh, you're a UFC fighter. You don't watch The Ultimate Fighter? I'm like, No, I'm out there Ultimate Fighting on my own. So forgive me for not knowing the ins and outs of what actually happened on your season. But I did do my research. You know, I do like some basic bitch research, you know, like, look at your record and all that. And I'm like, dang, Sarge has fought some tough ass opponents. And also, you've had some unfortunate situations. So I was wondering if I could get in your own words that you know, because all I know from reading online is that you were in the Ultimate Fighter. You basically almost won the show. You got all the way to the fucking finals. Like holy fuck, like my heart hurts because like, I can feel what that I mean, I've never been there but like, I can imagine what that would feel like and then just to have it not happen because of a medical situation. Somebody didn't make way somebody's kidneys. I don't know like what happened. You worked so hard. You're on the biggest platform you know you did so so such great things and you made a name For yourself early on, right? And so I guess what happened in your words and then how you feel about that now that some time has passed?

Unknown Speaker 15:08
I'm answer for backwards. I feel like the guy that has the wide open kitchen Super Bowl, like drops it is like you're wide open for the winning games over Yeah. It involves like, straight through your hands. That's what it is. There's like,

Unknown Speaker 15:26
it's like almost unbelievable. You know, like, how can that happen? It's yeah. So like,

Unknown Speaker 15:34
what a lot of people don't know is okay. I started my career to into in I fought Caitlin's UK in Aspen lad both and my first four fights before I even got into the UFC. So my career was like two and two, I was like, wow, my records not you know, starting high wanted to, and I was wondering if I could even fight anymore. My partner at the time and I had just had our baby. She was less than a year old and we were broke. And I was like, Alright, I can't do the fight and stuff anymore. And I went and I got a real job. And I was working security, working 12 hour days, and I was walking out like 170 pounds who I saw on MMA junkie that they were doing an Ultimate Fighter 135 Okay, I'm like shot. This is my shot. I'm gonna take care of my family. I'm gonna get into the UFC. This is damn. Like, I'm like, zit. Yeah, so I got a one way ticket to Vegas. Because that's all I could afford. With myself West Point. I got a one way ticket to Vegas. I'm gonna go I'm trying out for the ultimate fighter. I told you know, my partner at the time. Like, you know, this is it like, you know, we made it. I already booked my ticket. They announced that as for flyweights. I'm like, Oh, shit. I'm gonna go in anyway. I went out to the trials of the biggest girl there. I smashed like they asked you to do grappling. And like course, I killed it there to ask you to hit pads. I grabbed the random guy and was like, Can you hold pads for me? And I went to the interview and I just tried to crush it. You know, myself. I just tried to be as open as I could. And then they were like, so we're gonna wait, everybody. I was like, oh, yeah, I don't scale. I remember clean his day. I was a buck 72. And the producer was like, Yo, we loved your, we loved you today. But I'm gonna give you like, a couple of weeks. You have to come back lower than 150 or I'm not gonna put you on the show. And I was like you got to do he was like, Alright, you're in. And then I was like, I'm also like, I can't get home. Oh my God. So he flew me home. He's like, when you come back when we come back from filming, you gotta be a buck 50 And I was like, okay, so I went home, hustled it up, quit my job, crushed out four weeks, got 22 pounds off showed up at the show a buck 50 And I knew from weeks before I was even on the show that the weight cut was going to be the thing. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna happen. I don't know how I'm gonna get to 25 but I'm gonna get into UFC and I was literally like wrestling style. I just wearing sweat suits every day putting on sweet sweat every day eating eggs running first thing in the morning running at night. I spent that entire show like running. Running. I just did like this sort of plastics on for like six weeks and 100 degree Vegas weather. So the cuts like you know, the cuts on the show were rough. And that was kind of the storyline and one episode I had to cut my hair. Still growing my locs back. You know, there was there was a lot of drama, but I hit the weight. So I fought rocks and water fairy in the semifinals. I made that weight from 150 to 125 three times in a row in four weeks. So I cut from 50 to 25 made it I tried not to rehydrate in my body just rehydrated anyway. So I cut that 25 pound clip like back to back to back. So after the show film, and we went back home, I came back to Jersey. And I was like, like I took a week off to relax. I was like swollen like my shoulders, my joints like I looked like kind of sick, it was kind of bad. And I didn't have health insurance. I was kind of asking around and people at the UFC was like you're just cutting a lot. So you know, they gave me some diet stuff they gave me to do but my rebound from the show was almost back up to 170 I rebounded back up to like 65 And so the entire time from the last filming in the camp, I was cutting again. By the time I got to that last cut, it was actually me and Nico were supposed to fight in the finals. And we were actually cutting together to like three o'clock in the morning. We were both in the sauna like girl we're gonna fight for the belt tomorrow. Let's do it. And at one point I walked out the sauna and just hit the deck. And when I when I kind of came to they had the ambulance there. You know dr. D was on the phone they were checking vitals and I was like Don't pull me guys if I can get close. Maybe we can do like an interim or just let me get close. I think I was at like 29 When they called the the ambulance and something like that. And by the time the paramedics came, they're like, you know you're on to the hospital. They I beat me up. And that was it. Yeah, they just told me. So, you know, it's sucked bad. Like, you know, I told me I had kidney failure. They went to the hospital the doctors, of course, you know, the hospital doctors don't know. Yeah, the hospital doctors are like, Why would you do that? And they when they ran tests on my kidneys, they're like, you know, you've got early signs of very serious kidney failure. Can't let you cut no more. Yeah. Got IV you in, you know, you're off the card. So it was it was it was real tough.

Unknown Speaker 20:27
You know, when I hear that story, like, you know, obviously, it people just don't know, unless they he'll hear the whole story, right? It's like, oh, how irresponsible of this girl but they don't know, the background story about your baby just being born. You know, you were 170 didn't realize it was 120 Still want to take the shot. That producer gave you the opportunity you made that way you cut that way, you know, like you did the best you fucking could in the moment, and you're almost killed yourself trying and attempting. And that's just kind of like why I like to talk about certain things because not to be like, Hey, that was a crazy shitty thing that happened to you. But it's like, I know there has to be more to that story. Because so much is on the line. It's not like you were just eating a Snickers like, I don't really want to make way you know, like,

Unknown Speaker 21:17
UFC title in first fight ever,

Unknown Speaker 21:19
like, interesting. That's so crazy. And you know, the UFC has to do their job by protecting you against that yourself because, you know, we are our biggest enemy. Sometimes we'll just rock it till the wheels fall off.

Unknown Speaker 21:32
Yeah, for sure. For sure. In hindsight, you know, I'm mature but it's been a couple of years. You know, look, it could have gone worse. I got it. You know, my daughter's five now I could have hurt myself for that night. I could have jeopardize my career as a result. I got signed. Yeah, I got a contract. I'm taking care of myself now. So you know, like I said it was the one it was now I can look back at it. It was dropped the catch.

Unknown Speaker 21:56
For sure. For sure. And you know, good or bad people remember that shit to remember that time that guy almost had it.

Unknown Speaker 22:04
We talked about it. It is for everyone. So it is it is a story. People do talk about it. And you know, it's sorry. I'm alright with it.

Unknown Speaker 22:11
So moving forward. You are now abandoned. Wait. No, I'm back. You went back to flyway. Yes, this next one against Murayama Rose is that flyweight?

Unknown Speaker 22:22
Huh. Yeah, I went back. I went back after I fought Catlin. No, I fought Katelyn veer and Penny Kenyatta back to back.

Unknown Speaker 22:29
Yeah, Caitlyn. I fought her. She's a big bit. Respectfully, Caitlyn.

Unknown Speaker 22:34
Respectfully, Caitlyn. No, I was so I'll be 100% honest with you. You know, we're tough. We're fighters aren't on a mishit Kellen, ver was the first person at a weigh in I like gold. Yeah. I was like, oh, like Oh,

Unknown Speaker 22:52
get here was the last bantamweight I fought before I made my transition to flyweight like let me check out flyway that's exactly what

Unknown Speaker 23:05
she sent me since eight up to division two we should say it was that was hers

Unknown Speaker 23:08
and Caitlin I don't know your experience with her but she was so sweet to me. Oh, nice. I'm not gonna lie. I'll say it on here because fucking so much time has passed. And but I swear to God, she hit on me in Portuguese and then her translator was like, she says you're very pretty and I'm like, this fish just be my ass and she's hitting on me right now. I'm like, that's some alpha male ship alpha female shit, right?

Unknown Speaker 23:33
I believe it Captain gives me very strong vibes.

Unknown Speaker 23:38
was like, I was like, I don't even know how to feel right now like bad because the last but trying to be a good sport. But like also like, I'm like weird weird too soon, too soon, girl. She's gorgeous. Yeah. Got a black guy she gave me like, What the fuck?

Unknown Speaker 23:53
No, dog. Yo, she hit me. I remember like in the fight, like I couldn't, you know, you got your adrenaline going. I remember it didn't hurt but I could feel myself getting like slung. She's on her process. I went down. I was decking her and she was just like, yeah, yeah, so after Kotlin I took one more I fought Penny and I was like, Yeah, I might have to do this again. And my return to flight was much different than the first one. Like I said, I had all that drama, The Ultimate Fighter and I'm in the game. We got the F CPI I could afford it. I can afford to shop at Whole Foods. I can afford to like buy my alkaline water the first time I flyweight I was like eating noodles. is much better now. I got Thai like I got air dogs in my apartment now so yeah, I'm good this time.

Unknown Speaker 24:47
I'm really excited for you. You know, it's been it's been a roller coaster over career. I can tell you know, your record is similar to mine. But one thing I could always say to myself, you know when I look at my record Unlike Oh, six and you know, like, it's, you know, it's almost like yours, you know, and I'm like, people, they can look at the record, but you and I never took an easy fight. You know, you and I always accepted the challenge in front of us. And sometimes that challenge hit hard. And that was a big big gap Gatling. Respectfully, you know, but it's just like, you know, like, I love the journey that I've been on, you know, like, I might have not made the best decisions in my career. But now that, you know, things were a little bit more mature, you know, I see you getting your weight under control me personally is like an alcohol problem, you know, and I'm like, Damn, you know, that getting old sucks, you know, but at the same time, I'm like, I'm so much fucking wiser. And I feel like, I'm so much more able to focus on my career and kick out all the fucking bullshit that what used to distract me in my younger years, you know,

Unknown Speaker 25:56
exactly same here, same here. Like, I was distracted a lot, too. You know, like, there was a lot going on in my life. And, you know, cleaning things up now, you know, much happier much better place and it is a little bit easier. And we do I was so excited to come on, because I was like, Oh, actually, like, I remember watching you fight at home. Like before I gotten UFC, I remember watching some of your fights. And then before we came on, I checked out your record too. And I thought the same thing. I was like, Yeah, I actually got some some killer as long as record here. And that's how you beat balance. Oh, you're the one that knocked out. Like, Oh, I saw highlight. So yeah, now we've had, we've had some goals, man, for sure.

Unknown Speaker 26:33
For sure. So I wanted to get to know you a little bit better. You know, people just kind of see our records. You know, they see the headlines and not always good headlines, you know, but there's a lot more to it. And, you know, you said you're from the East Coast. It is pride month, you know, you're an openly gay athlete. I want to get to know you. How did you, you know, get comfortable with your sexuality, you know, did you have a welcoming home environment? And what was your experience like just coming out?

Unknown Speaker 27:00
I'm coming out is fun. So I'll kind of so I'm, I'm I just turned 37. So I like to teach because I'm older lesbian a little bit. So I actually didn't come out until I was 22. So all the, you know, like, my sister is 10 years younger than me and she's out. She's been off since she was like, and I see kids now they've been out since they're like 12 or 13. Or like 22. Okay, well, I grew up in a small town. Yeah. Oh, but I did even I grew up in kind of a small town. I grew up in Springfield, Massachusetts. I grew up so my parents broke up when I was young, and my mom was kind of conservative Christian family. And my dad was kind of like freelance, like, more open spiritual, but less strict religious, but he also had a lot of Muslims on his side of the family. Okay, even though my father wasn't, so I kind of had a Muslim side of the family and Christian side. And I was like, I remember being in high school like, Gahler these are different. I would go to summer school. I would go to Muslim girls school in the summer and like, like Sunday service,

Unknown Speaker 28:01
you grew up with conflicting ideologies, like in your Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 28:05
yes. I kind of was like, I'm not gonna pick one. For sure.

Unknown Speaker 28:12
So even though it wasn't like really super conservative, it was kind of just assumed that you were straight. Like, there wasn't anything that was like, Don't be gay, but it was kind of just assumed boys like girls and vice versa. Yeah. Um, so I probably knew something was because I was like, in love with Janet Jackson. Fell in love with Janet Jackson. I love like Janet Jackson posters everywhere.

Unknown Speaker 28:38
Like, what age was this? Oh,

Unknown Speaker 28:40
this would have been, like, seventh eighth grade. Okay. I was like, what? 1213? Just like the same age. Everyone else had insync on their walls. Yeah, that was me. Pictures of Janet Jackson, the same age. Everyone's like him saying Backstreet Boys. 90 degrees. I'm like Janet Jackson. Please did it. I love you kissing the posters. Hold on. So my mom one day was like, Are you gay? And I was like, my no issues like, Okay. Anything again? I think I was in high school like, Yeah, I think I'm kind of gay. I was crushing a lot of girls and I was having a lot of fields. But no one else around me was out in I kinda there wasn't a lot of culture. Yeah, like, I never heard of a Pride Month. I didn't know anyone else that had like, that was gay. I had a feeling so it wasn't till I got to college. I went to Morgan State in Baltimore. Okay. And my first year on campus, I saw like, openly gay, like lesbians. I was like, oh, oh, like I couldn't believe it. And I was like, I'm like, and it still took me like another year or two to really come out but it kind of definitely being in college kind of gave me the courage. You know, I made some gay friends. I met some other gay girls and they were like, you're not out you didn't tell your family yet. around like 2223 I started coming out to my family and my mom was a surprise that first and I remember being like, how are you surprised by this? Let me revert back to the gym. But she was pretty cool with it. It took her some time to sort of understand the normality of it. Like, I think she kind of thought like, maybe it was a phase for a while. And I think she kind of thought like, like, I don't get it, but whatever. You know, we're now it's yeah, we're now it's much different. Now. She's like, I'm an ally. I know what all the letter means. Like, she's like, this is the last week of the month. Do you have plans? For to it now. My dad's side of the family. Like my dad was like, he knew he was like, I was like, I'm gay. He was like, Yeah. At that point, I was like, wearing hats backwards and baggy jeans. And he was like, Yeah, shocker. When you want to swim trunks when you were five. My dad was like, he didn't even.

Unknown Speaker 31:04
That's awesome. So you didn't have any boyfriends or girlfriends in high school or growing up or anything like

Unknown Speaker 31:11
that? I had a boyfriend in high school. Okay, okay.

Unknown Speaker 31:15
Did you have like feelings towards him? Or did you feel like almost poor dude.

Unknown Speaker 31:24
I did. I gave guys a fair shake. Actually, I dated guys in high school and a little bit in college. Um, no shots. All of our male listeners. I used to always think guys couldn't kiss. I was like kissing. Y'all feel so nasty. Like, all your lips are dry. It's like, too much tone. It was always every time I kissed the guy. I was like, yeah, so I could never even so I did have a high school way for known he was real cool. We actually, you know, we did our thing. He has some relations. You know, I did my thing with guys.

Unknown Speaker 31:56
You are not a Goldstar lesbian.

Unknown Speaker 31:59
I'm not a gold star.

Unknown Speaker 32:00
I'm just bringing that up. Because I'm so proud of myself. I'm like learning the terminology. I'm like, I'm cool. I know.

Unknown Speaker 32:07
us who don't know, gold star means you have not had sex with a male. You're technically technically I guess, scientifically, whatever. A virgin. And so you've never been with a guy I'm not a gold star. Not by not by far. I've actually had a couple of I gave guys a fair shot I slept with like, I don't know, I haven't counted well, like maybe four or five guys between high school and college.

Unknown Speaker 32:28
Yeah, you just want to take out that any doubt in your own mind, you know,

Unknown Speaker 32:33
kind of so so I had my high school boyfriend. And in hindsight, we teach because we were friends for a while he was I came out later. He was like, I know you just gave me. I've never wanted to, like do it with him or one times x. But he was the first person to go down on me ever. I was like, that we could do. Yeah, I was like, That was a good time. Like years later. I'm like, oh, it's the you know?

Unknown Speaker 33:01
Yeah, yeah, I

Unknown Speaker 33:02
could do without the penis completely hilarious. And, yeah, I dated a couple of guys in college because I like when I first came out, I dated a girl She broke my heart. So I dated some guys again. And I was like, Y'all suck. Let me go back to girls. Just finally got a hang of things.

Unknown Speaker 33:22
So in your relationship journey, let's call it you know, dates of guys. Did some women realize women? That's where it's at? Are you more of a coach? Or do you feel like you're consistently in relationships? Are you do are you normally single for a long time? You know, we have these patterns, right?

Unknown Speaker 33:43
I'm in a relationship. I like Buddha. Yeah, and I like to be Buddha. Oh, man.

Unknown Speaker 33:49
Up got it. Yeah. No, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 33:52
I'm a relationship type. Yeah, yeah. I don't a lot of people think I'm single, like a lot of women. Like when I'm not in a relationship and I meet them. They're like, okay, like, how many girls have you been with? And I'm like, no, like, I like to be

Unknown Speaker 34:04
like You Give off. Maybe like player vibes or something? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 34:08
I think it's just the look, but no, like not, I like to be relationships. I've spent most of my adult life in a relationship.

Unknown Speaker 34:21
You have your mother, and your kid is five years old. Now, we spoke briefly about your relationship because you guys are going through something right now. So we'll kind of be you know, delicate with how we approach certain things. But what I really wanted to kind of cover just from my straight girl curiosity, I'm like, Whoa, you're the mom with your ex partner who was also a female. And so I'm like, who had the baby like what? You know, like, did you guys just I want to know everything. You know, like, how did you guys go through that process? What was it like? Did you were you in the delivery room when she was born? Like, explain it all. automate.

Unknown Speaker 35:02
I put it out there man being the mother My baby was call her baby mama for easy terms. Okay, yeah, baby mother not together. A lot of people laugh because they do they do ask, you know, our daughter's five. And I got pictures of her on my Instagram and she looks like me like, and so people are always like, you know, did you carry is that your egg? But no my ex partner carry in, and she's not of my egg either. So 2017 We decided 2016 Really, we started we were like, you know, we want to expand our family. My baby mother was like, you know, she had some things and we knew we kind of didn't have a lot of time to start a family. If she was gonna carry so we were like, I suppose. So what we're gonna start. So we went through the traditional route. So if you don't know, like, okay, for two women have a baby, somebody's gotta carry you gotta have a daughter, obviously, like, you gotta have some sperm. Usually, if you go through your traditional medical route with your health insurance, or whatever, you go through a donor, you'll get like a donation bank, they'll have a list of donors, you can pick like tall, short, black, white, you can get like information on the guy and backgrounds and all kinds of stuff. But that whole process is like super expensive. So it cost like 6000 ish dollars after the insurance to get the the medication that the carrier my baby mother had to take to get the donor, then they had to like wash the sperm that was new to me,

Unknown Speaker 36:27
it was news to me, too. Like, we

Unknown Speaker 36:31
have to wash it. And I was like, Don't it just come ready to go and be like, No, we have to take it and kill all the dead ones. And I was like, sounds like so there's a whole process and it didn't work the first time which happens a lot. Yeah. Okay, you can get it stick for lack of a better terms. So, you know, the doctors like if we're going to try again, you should try again real soon. Because your hormones and your whole tracking your cycle, blah, blah. So I said to my mom, I was like, Look, you know, people do it every day. without washing nothing. Yeah. Why don't we find a donor would do at home? Yeah. Turkey basting. Yeah. Like that. Just my work. So we found a donor. We paid him cash. Yeah. Well, he went in the other room. We're like piece we grabbed the hotel around the corner. And we literally, syringe and I, you did it yourself. inject it? Yes.

Unknown Speaker 37:25
Crazy, but it's like, but in the best way possible. Because it's like, she worked.

Unknown Speaker 37:31
And then like, she was like, this is never gonna work. I was like, Hey, you might as well later with two legs up, like straight people do it all the time. Yeah. Like if I was a dude. And we want to have kids, I would just Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 37:46
So did it take that time?

Unknown Speaker 37:48
Yeah, we have a five year old, beautiful baby. And then like, so a couple, you know, it takes a couple of weeks. And so you know, the first time you can tell you're pregnant with at home tests, I think it's like six weeks or something. And so we were like, I let's check and I kind of was like, also that could not work, you know? Yeah. You know, so I kinda was like, that's not gonna work the first time but it was a hell of a lot cheaper. We could do that a couple more times. Exactly. Um, in all the first pregnancy test came back positive. And we were like, No,

Unknown Speaker 38:16
get another one try to get try to test again. Like,

Unknown Speaker 38:19
like, oh, because so many people have told us as lesbians with the process. It could take two years. trying you know, people try to have babies sometimes there can be all kinds of different issues, for sure. And so it took like two months, we were like, Oh, well knocked it out the park. Nine months later, we had beautiful baby girl in my favorite story to tell us so we were going to do a natural, a natural birth. But New York health insurance wouldn't cover the doula

Unknown Speaker 38:53
what is it? Sorry, what's the definition of a natural birth?

Unknown Speaker 38:57
Oh, so So a natural birth would be without like epidural. No drugs. I feel like we're gonna lose all your straight guys here. I want to know about this stuff is interesting. No, so a natural birth would be without any of the extra epidurals with the county the medicines Yeah, birth in a hospital, they'll give you all kinds of different drugs per request. And for some women, that's just not the most comfortable place to birth in a natural birth at home, you can birth in a more natural position, you have a different environment on it. Okay, if you birth at home, you can have a midwife who's a certified trained person to deliver babies to do all the healthy medical stuff and then you can transfer it to the hospital after just to get your birth certificate, make sure the baby's good mom's good young go home. So New York health insurance wouldn't cover that. So the midwife we found was like if you want to avoid the epidural and some of those other drugs and unwanted things, just wait until you're within like a dilated space and they won't have time to give you all that stuff anyway. Oh, yeah. So you Only Labour will be in touch the whole time. So my baby mother went into labor on a April afternoon, and she was going through a lot of labor pains. We went to the hospital and said you're not dilated. It's a false start, basically. So we go back home a couple of nights later, like two o'clock in the morning, her mom had come by. So my mother in law, technically at the time had come by it was in the room sleeping with my baby mother, I was on the couch so they could sleep comfortably. And I hear like, I hear her like scream from the other room. I jump off the couch. And I look at my baby Mother's Day. So her mom does speak English. Okay. Like, oh, Spanish lady in the room. And she's like, that, like 100 miles an hour. I think I'm in labor. And I was like, okay, so I started doing my thing. I'm timing the contractions in off the rip from all the like, we went to pregnancy classes we had we were doing the whole thing responsibly. Like off the RIP. I'm like, Oh, these are close together. Like off they're like, Oh, these are these are hot. Is long time and Oh my My Joe let me like I'm about to call the midwife and my baby was laying on the bed. And I swear to you the movies don't do a water break justice. It feels like you ever drop your gallon and it just bust us. Right? Oh, whoa. Like right from the to your legs. i Whoa, no water. But I was like, like, oh, and then like, she's screaming. I'm screaming and I'm like this, okay. Okay. Like, they still say you can have like five to seven hours after the water. Okay, okay. I'm like, let me call me Call the midwife. And I'm like, okay, her water broke burst. And so my big mom and her mother went to the bedrooms are cleaner like bathrooms are clean yourself up. Look, I'm getting like excited telling the story. My hands are shaking. Just think about it again. Oh, sweating again. Is so I call the midwife and she's like, what are what are the contractions and so I can't remember now but they were like six minutes apart. Maybe she was like, You need to go now. Like now like gold now. Meanwhile, we're on the 13th floor of an apartment. And I'm like, God, like my car. If you've ever lived in New York, your car is never it's three blocks down there on the court. I come out as like, they they just she said we gotta go. Like, every two minutes, she's stopping for contraction. They're coming harder to come in closer. I'm like, go I have to go get the car. My baby mother grabbed me. It was like Do not leave me this baby's coming any second now. And I'm like, I refuse to believe it. I'm like, let's go. Out the door. Don't she's not. We'll see not coming here. We got to go. I grabbed her. Your her mom grabbed like a suitcase. I'm like, No, we have to get out of here. This is we have to go get into the hallway. I'm hitting that elevator button. And she just my baby mother falls to the floor. It was like she's coming and I was like and I look my baby mother swear, swear to God, I pull her panties to the side and I saw au pair between her legs. And finally it snapped like finally I snapped it and finally I was like, oh, okay, like finally I stopped like panicking. It was like, okay, took the PDS off. And we had gone to a bunch of birthing classes. I remember the baby's supposed to come like this than it does like this. And then it goes shoulder shoulder. So I'm like, I mean, my baby mother was like, it's kind of because we broke up now but this is sometimes I'm like, Girl, we had to go.

Unknown Speaker 43:44
It looks at me it was like we have to I was like, okay, like we did lose like, Alright, let's go. We can do this. She was like she gave one big like hard push. And the whole top of her head came out and I could still see your little faces like, boom, and I was like, oh, and her face is kind of gray. And then she did just like how they told us in class. She went shoulder shoulder and blue. fell right out. She was covered and like stuff that I was like oh, I want I gave her to her. And I stood up and I swear to you like so after fights. I'm like screaming and yelling. I started literally running up and down the hallway like jumping up and down like

Unknown Speaker 44:30
and, like, well, this cut. You know what? I got to ask this question. It's so gross. But I just want to know, like, who cut the umbilical cord what happened?

Unknown Speaker 44:39
I cut the umbilical cord. So once she actually delivered the my baby mother's mom was like, only English she said all night. Yeah. I'll say Oh, good point. Yeah. So we call and I looked at the phone she was it took two hours from the moment her water broke. And so the baby was born which is like high speed. Yes, yeah. So I got on, I'm like screaming at the, like, I'm screaming at the lady. They were like we're sending someone now you're on the top floor. I hung up it felt like it took the ambulance forever to get there and pick neighbors has started to like that out. And then I was on like cyber cop Mambo because I was like to not approach like, step back, I was like closing the door on people, like, don't come out here. The paramedics came in, and we got to the ambulance. And it was like, Okay, we got to cut the cord. Do you want to do it? And that's actually harder to do than it looks because it's kind of slippery. So I kind of felt like I was like, not all cute, like in the movies, you know, snip you kind of like I was like these guys kind of dog. It's kind of hard. Like,

Unknown Speaker 45:47
wow, that's fucking intense.

Unknown Speaker 45:52
One of the greatest moments of the greatest moment of my life, because I still get goose bumps and my hands still shake. But I tell that story. I've told it a million times, like my favorite story.

Unknown Speaker 46:01
I love that story for you. Because, you know, I'm just like, looking at the situation of, you know, two females, you know, having a child together and once the carrier right and that's like the night that's that's okay to say carrier sounds so like, Postal Service. Yeah. Okay, so the carrier and you know, you, you're the, you know, the other mom and I'm like, you know, I'm like, what if Does she ever feel like she's not as involved in this process? You know, and I'm like, you have been the most hands on with a turkey baster catching the kid. I'm like, You're involved

Unknown Speaker 46:36
as fuck it as fuck and been involved? Yeah, of course. That's amazing. Baby city and take it into the gym and so beautiful. Those fears. You know, I have those fears throughout the pregnancy that was I gonna be able to bond with the baby. Yeah, because I wouldn't be like as a woman, I wouldn't be doing the breastfeeding and contact all the time. Yeah, but just I mean, when there's two, you know, babies are connected to the loving energies around them. Yeah. And so just being in her life and feeding her a lot of times my ex partner would pump and I would feed her through the bottle. So there were ways that we bonded and me and my daughter like super tight and, like by the time she was like, you know, by time I looked at her and she smiled at me. I couldn't believe that. I was like, how did I doubt that I was gonna bond here. Yeah. Oh, silly, but did have you know, throughout the pregnancy, I was like, damn, is it gonna feel the same? But ya know? Absolutely feels like she could have came from me too. I love her so much. Such

Unknown Speaker 47:34
a weird question. Did you strategically choose a guy sperm that looked like you? Yeah. Good call. Good call. Here's walking by someone that looks like you. You're like

Unknown Speaker 47:49
I did. I was like, not him. Don't buy him. I was like, I was comparing pictures to the other minimum. Don't Absolutely. I was trying to shoot I nailed that one too. That's like I gotta be honest the whole time. I was like, look like me look like my mother's like, how is she gonna look like you? It's like that I don't know.

Unknown Speaker 48:12
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Unknown Speaker 50:00
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Unknown Speaker 51:36
No, she's not. My current girl we met actually at Pride last year. Oh, so this is our pride aversary recalling it. Okay, coming up on a solid year. So I met her last year at PRI and one of the first things so like a lot of people I'm like, How does everyone know? I'm in the UFC? And then she's like, because that's all you were. So like, when I first met her, she was like, um, what's that? Like someone else's like, Oh, I know you, blah. And so I was trying to talk to her. And she was like, what's that? mean? Like? What's the UFC? She was like it she? She kind of like, what is it like basketball? And I was like, and I remember being like, yes. Like, I kind of like meeting women that don't know what I do. Yeah. Um, so that was actually kind of a plus for her. So no, she doesn't change. He doesn't fight. She's not in the industry. She doesn't know anything about it. And everything she's learned about it is from what we've learned together that you know, the last year, but it's going well, we love each other very much. She's gorgeous. And coming out of you know, you know, my baby mother, we have that beautiful child together, but their relationship was not healthy, and was very toxic. And so coming out of that, getting some time to myself, and then getting into the relationship with my girlfriend now. It's been like very refreshing. She's like, a breath of fresh air to me, like every day. I'm like, Ah, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 52:59
she's great. That's awesome. And you guys been together for a year you said? Because it was

Unknown Speaker 53:03
the beginning was kind of dating. But yeah, the whole time from when we met a year.

Unknown Speaker 53:07
That's awesome. Okay. Do you think that, you know, obviously, you've had good relationships, bad relationships, you know? And in your opinion, is it beneficial to be in a relationship while you're in the middle of competing while you're still an active fighter?

Unknown Speaker 53:22
Um, I think it takes more discipline. For sure. Cuz I'm the cushy tight, like when we're going out, we're going dating. We're going places like, you know, I like to do that kind of stuff. I think it can't happen. I mean, people do it all the time. Like, like, look at my team. I've got Frankie Edgar, Caitlin, Corey Anderson. All of them have families. Caitlin is the only one that doesn't have kids. And so I'm like look Frankie's got like three kids. And he's got like four and they're champions. And so I think having a person just requires a different adjustment and having a supportive partner absolutely helps that a lot and unsupportive partner I think and can then be detrimental. For

Unknown Speaker 54:02
sure. Looking back on your relationship experience over the years, if you could tell young Sarge some dating advice, you know, or maybe just some advice to yourself to make things go a little smoother. What would you say?

Unknown Speaker 54:17
I probably will say like, I probably would have waited to have my first child no longer just because financially I don't think I did for her but I would have wanted to do I think it took me to like just now to be able to really provide for her I wanted to so I would have just waited on that. And and Youngstars probably would have I probably would have came out sooner. So I could experience um, I think one of the reasons I was in such a I was in a bad relationship for so long was I didn't date a lot when I was young. So I didn't get the experience of like dating a couple of bozos and kind of figuring out what you don't like adding people Yeah, you know, I would have told myself to be brave, come out a little longer and just kind of get used to what other people are like, but for settling down with, you know, with someone that maybe I should know Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 55:04
for sure for sure. Have you ever done online dating? I did. I did it.

Unknown Speaker 55:12
I used to be on downlink

Unknown Speaker 55:14
Wait, wait, what is downlink?

Unknown Speaker 55:17
downlink is, like only the most expert of like being like older lesbians with no. Like MySpace was around like, that's all. Okay. Okay. So I feel like downlink was kind of around before like, even like, like plenty of fish and like all of the new ones now like I don't think was like old and so just kind of like a MySpace for lesbians. And I don't think it was like meant to be a dating app so much as it became one because that's all that lesbians hit on. A couple of girls and downlink in my early lesbian days.

Unknown Speaker 55:51
How did how did those go? I always ask because I always feels like we have at least one good or bad online dating story. You met in person and things didn't go the way that you thought. Do you have a story like that?

Unknown Speaker 56:05
We've got some probably the worst one was I met with a girl and I kind of kept it real there. I was like jujitsu like purple belt. And like, you know, early martial arts, you know, money broke, and I'm gonna be like, I look, we gotta go like Applebee's to for 20. If you want to come meet with me, that's what we're doing. And she was down. She was like, yeah, yeah, I'll come. I'll come. So we went out to Applebee's. We got the little two for 20. And she was like, I'm gonna order a few more things. And I was like, I got the two for 20 covered. Yeah, but I, yeah, you've reached your limit. Everything else is on you. Yeah. And she was like, okay, yeah, cool. No problem. No problem. She ordered, like a couple of drinks or whatever. And I was like, not good. Because I won't go with my low budget. AR bill came. She was like, oh my god, I forgot my wallet. And I looked like this. Here, and for me to believe in like $45. I was like, we're like $50 in my account. Like, I remember paying for that. And I had like, $3 left in my account after that. But I remember like, like being like any more than that we would have like, we've had the run or something. Like I remember being furious, bro. She was like, you want to come inside? I was like, No, I was hot. Yo, I was so mad at that girl. And she kept calling me like, what happened? What went wrong? I just go stir. I was furious, because she ordered over

Unknown Speaker 57:31
$20 Now, I have a weird question just popped into my head. Um, okay, so you have a more masculine energy, you know? And does that mean that you always when you go on these dates, not with someone that you're dating, you know, but like these kinds of first dates? Is it always like implied that since you're more you know, like, of the masculine one, and maybe you're dating like more feminine girls like do they assume you're gonna pay or you don't? I mean,

Unknown Speaker 57:58
I think most most feminine women do assume that the masculine one does especially like, um, I think, you know, I got the new term for millennials. Like, you know, I'm calling them kids.

Unknown Speaker 58:09
What is it? Go to Zillow finials,

Unknown Speaker 58:10
so many will just kids who are like 20s

Unknown Speaker 58:12
in their early 20s. Okay, like they used to be used to be millennials. But now the millennials. I learned so much every week. I love this. It's like, I'm like, Oh,

Unknown Speaker 58:23
I learned it myself. Because someone was like, when was the lineal and you're not your your old millennials, it was an old millennial, but whatever. I think women are like over 30 kind of presume lesbian women over 30 kind of presume the maximum women will pick up and I kind of like, take the masculine role. So as a gentle lady, I usually at least offer that first one to take it. But a lot of women nowadays will be like, like, my girl, I'm with nine when we the first couple of days. We went on she was like, Oh, we go Dutch. I'm like, independent. I can take care. I can take my half I was like, Okay, girl.

Unknown Speaker 58:55
Yeah, that's what I do ever. Like, even before. My partner that I'm with now, you know, just always Dutch and I'm not gonna lie, like, I'll offer Dutch but if the guy is like, no, I got this. That does boop, boop, boop, like move him up, but I'm not gonna like automatically be like this fucking bomb. You know, like, because I am an independent woman. I just want to like set the precedent that I'm not there to fucking be, you know, a little princess. So nice.

Unknown Speaker 59:24
Like when we were dating now, the first time she offered to go Dutch. I was like, it was the first woman that had offered in a long time. And I was like, okay, it was like, and I took the first couple dates. And then by the third. She was like, No, this one's on me. And I was like, oh, like, yeah, exactly. Because usually it is kind of presumed that I take it and so it was kind of hard that she did that. They're like,

Unknown Speaker 59:46
Thank you for making me feel like a lady. A lady to Okay. All right. So I wanted to make it a point to bring this up. Do you have an only fans or a fan time or an exclusive content site? I usually ask the fighters because, you know, if you do I want to give you an opportunity to promote it because, you know, as we've talked about before, just because you're a fighter doesn't mean you're making money. You know, a lot of times got to pinch the pennies and stuff. So do you have any kind of exclusive content site?

Unknown Speaker 1:00:19
Yeah, actually, the timing of this interview is perfect because I just signed a contract to only fans. So I'm super excited. I literally just put like my first couple of posts up a little while ago. They contracted me on as a creator, so I'm super excited. They really want to expand their market. I am going to show more of my personal life this is going to be I feel really filtered. In my Instagram. Um, I feel like Twitter, I get bullied to death. And not like I care. It's just like Twitter's like, okay. Yeah, like

Unknown Speaker 1:00:49
20 Twitter's for extremely opinionated people. Yeah, Twitter's

Unknown Speaker 1:00:52
with tick tock is fun, but Instagram does give me like a very G rated presentation of myself. So I won't be doing any, like full frontals aren't getting no, no Jessica and drawers full spreads out of me. So some very private home content. And we're also gonna be doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff, more content that I'm able to put out. As far as I prepare for my fights, instructionals podcast, things like that. Also introducing like my girlfriend, I'm gonna show some behind the scenes of pride, kind of do a little bit more of like who I really am on my only fans. I'm really excited at Sergeant Charles I'm only fans is live now you can start subscribing for free. It won't be free forever or for long. So get in there now. And I'm super pumped to the only fans actually.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:39
I love that. That's awesome. All right. Well, congrats. I have my own exclusive content site, you know, and there's a couple of fighters out there that who do have sites with these platforms. And people assume that if they're on there, they're showing, you know, full frontal like you said, like showing everything so yeah, good luck with that. Hopefully, you can make some money on there. So sex before a fight? Do you abstain? Is it a myth? What's What's your routine?

Unknown Speaker 1:02:09
Um, I think it's kind of a myth. When I was a young 22 year old, I was I was like, Yeah, I'm not gonna have sex. I was like, I wasn't getting laid like that. Anyway.

Unknown Speaker 1:02:21
This extreme sacrifice of mine.

Unknown Speaker 1:02:24
I was 23. I was like, yeah, like, I like I always went six weeks without getting laid. So now I'm okay. I mean, I kind of do. So I usually am not having sex. And we're gonna fight because I'm all thirsty. And my lips are chapped. Today. Most of us, usually I leave on Monday or Tuesday, and I get my last last. And then first thing after the fight as soon as I get to my girl we're on. So it was usually like that little gap for the week. But it's not so much that I'm abstaining to be strongest that had a piece of chicken and four sips of water.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:01
Exactly, exactly. I always tell my guy, I'm like, Look, I'm gonna participate, but it's not gonna be my best performance.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:08
I can't believe you could do that. She would have to talk that night. Nothing come back to me. Maybe some water out.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:17
I'm taking you down memory lane, and it's probably not gonna be comfortable. But do you remember your first time?

Unknown Speaker 1:03:24
Um, a guy or a girl? Oh, that's

Unknown Speaker 1:03:27
right. Okay, so I guess give us a brief overview of both.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:33
My first time with a guy was in high school was probably like 16 or something like that. And it wasn't very memorable. I remember being like, so all my friends, all my girlfriends at the time, like my boyfriend. We haven't so much fun. And before, you know, before my first fire got hit the first time I'll be straight. Like just regular like sex. I was looking at the ceiling like this. I don't get it. I do not understand why this is so popular on TV. I don't get it. So I kind of wasn't really I really couldn't really get into it. Um, so then, you know, I was with my boyfriend for a little while and he used to complain. He wasn't going on. I was like, It's not fun for me. He would be like, I eat you out. And I'm like, sorry, I'm not reciprocating. Yeah. Poor guy who's probably really frustrated. Um, I got to college. I got to college. I got my first girl. And so I actually had I actually had met her on Facebook. So I don't know if that's probably online thing. So we met we hooked up, you know, I invited her by, you know, we went downstairs, we started doing the thing. And so, you know, I was like, I didn't have a strap so it's no penetration. So I was like, I gotta like, I got like, go down on this girl. All right. Yeah, first time. Man. That was pretty bad. I was like that I like barely did anything down there. I'll give you like three licks and kind of just like cope with each other. For a while, and I remember be like, damn, this wasn't that fun either like

Unknown Speaker 1:05:04
Yeah. Oh, it's funny. So did you not enjoy eating pussy the first time?

Unknown Speaker 1:05:09
No, the first time I thought it was kind of weird. I just kind of thought it was weird. And, and like, you know, looking back I think it was my partner to like we didn't have any connection we had kind of just like hooked up. Yeah. And I'm the type that I like to have a connection with my partner like the best sex I have is when I really liked the like her. Yeah, like more I'm into you like, the better it is. So that probably was it. But it took me so after that I like swear to God I went on the internet was like how to eat out. Let me figure

Unknown Speaker 1:05:43
Wow. In college, just like doing research, you're like, Okay, well, first there's chemistry and then later I'm gonna figure out how to eat pussy really good.

Unknown Speaker 1:05:52
Once I was like, I've got to be missing something. Some like my first time going a guy was terrible. My first time with a girl was terrible. So that was dating the guy. So I was like, Hey, let me try him one more time. And I was like, no second time would a guy No, that's not it. That's not gonna work. I was like, gotta be chicks. We'll just focus on chicks. Yes figured out. Like I'm more attracted to them. I get more turned on four plays better they can kiss. Women kiss some like it's gotta be women because I can't even get past kissing with these guys. Their beards. I don't look actually love you. I'm sure your partner's awesome. I don't look men to me are like, that's what turns you on. Go ahead and

Unknown Speaker 1:06:31
look at like, I'm pretty fucking straight. But I'll tell my boyfriend all the time. He'll just be like rubbing up against me with his beard. And I'm just like, Ah, it's like you have a fucking like a weapon on your face.

Unknown Speaker 1:06:42
And you know, just start fumbling now like That's awesome. So I didn't get much better though. I can't leave this topic without saying that I have improved my eating skills quite a bit. I have not had complaints in quite some time.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:03
That's good. That's good. Do you have you ever been asked to do anything like too weird or too freaky in bed? You're like, Nope, just I'm good. Don't do that.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:12
Don't do that stuff. All right. Yeah. I'm asking you to. So I asked me to do something today, but I'm like, Oh, you won't even do it to your partner. I'm the only one who has ever asked me to.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:25
Okay, I'm not good. It's not like they're all like wanting you to and you're not going to just one chick was like a line. One lady. No line of women asked me to. Okay, okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:40
I did it for I was like, Oh, you did? Okay,

Unknown Speaker 1:07:43
but it just wasn't your thing.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:46
I could not not do that again.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:48
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's not my favorite thing. All right.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:51
You're definitely not doing this to me. And then I was like, Alright, I've never volunteered for the giver. I was like, Nah, I'm never done.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:02
Okay. And vice versa. What is like a pet peeve of yours in the bedroom? You know, people say anything from hygiene to someone. Exactly what we're just talking about someone sticking in the back door without asking, you know?

Unknown Speaker 1:08:15
Actually, that's a good one too. Um, ah, oh, okay. Those are actually all good examples. Hygiene is a good one. I would say like, Okay, I will say not knowing when to wrap it up. Like, like, I'm, like, ever has sex with somebody and it's just not like, you're just like, it's just not the chemistry is not there. You're just kind of like, I'm not going to orgasm. I don't think you are. We're just kind of like humping now at this point. It's kind of like a lesbian

Unknown Speaker 1:08:45
thing because on the straight girl side. The male really has he's taken the reins and when it's over and when it's not for the most part. I'm listening and I'm like, That's a great problem to have you just keep going.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:03
Like know after a while. It's like we're gonna we just will try again in the morning.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:10
Yeah, it's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen, right? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 1:09:14
it's just it for me is like as women like we don't sometimes always orgasm. Yeah, and sometimes it's good. We were not knocking this thing out the park tonight. So I've had some boring session. So it just being boring and just and just I've tried to been like, okay, like, No, I still kissing me like, Oh, I've had one of those. So that was um,

Unknown Speaker 1:09:35
she's just not reading the social cues.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:39
Reading the like, I haven't made a couple of times when I was young.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:45
And it's such a hard time to say anything that could be construed as negative because me I'm putting myself here I'm like, females and I'm super, super feminine energy inside. Like I'm super emotional. Like if my partner was like, Yeah, I'm just, you know, I'm good right now and be like, I wish you would, she might take it personal, you know? And then that's gonna cause a whole new set of problems. You're like, no. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 1:10:09
I'm just gonna, like she's down there and it's like, like, lift your chin Raise your head up. I'm sorry. I wish I could fake it. I wish. I wish I was the guy.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:28
I just heard GSP with his friend Jack says I am not impressed with your performance. You just pull her up and use do your best GSP not impressed with your

Unknown Speaker 1:10:40
pull it up on my neck. That's why I stay relationships now because you get a good one you like, let me let me hold on to her. Yeah, and

Unknown Speaker 1:10:49
you know, for me, like, I think it just happens when you're older too. It's like, you have enough like emotional maturity to be like, Hey, this is what I like. Or, like maybe sexual sexual confidence, not emotional maturity. But, you know, like, hey, like, this is what I like, you know, like, I want you to make me come I want to make you calm. Let's talk about this. You know, like, when you're young, you're like, you're doing that you're just like, lifted their head like maybe they'll get it.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:16
And then if I fall asleep,

Unknown Speaker 1:11:18
have you ever fallen asleep while a girl was going down on you?

Unknown Speaker 1:11:22
once said no, twice. One time, okay. The first time I was like, was the example I just gave. And there was another time like, in between when I broke up my baby Mother, I'm with the girl now I dated around a little bit. And there was a girl that came by and I was kind of drunk. And I remember being like, oh, like, oh, girl.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:47
That's better, though. You can like totally blame it on the alcohol. Right?

Unknown Speaker 1:11:50
Because that time was not gentle in my 20s I was like hear that? I was like I grew up

Unknown Speaker 1:12:01
with that out there. Okay, well I feel like this is the perfect transition into the lightning sex round

Unknown Speaker 1:12:15
the lightning six round for you listeners who are new it is a rapid fire yes or no segment where we're gonna find about all of the jars. Pros and our likes and dislikes in the bedroom. You're ready. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Do you dirty talk in bed a little bit. spanker like to be spanked? We'll speak biting.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:37
Yeah, choking. I don't like to go people ask me do it all the time. My girl likes it. I do it for her.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:44
Do you threesomes always wanted to. Do you watch porn?

Unknown Speaker 1:12:50
No, not really.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:51
Any fetish is like a foot fetish. Yeah, okay. The next one, I was gonna say bodily fluid fetish. So that would actually,

Unknown Speaker 1:13:07
that would come. That was like two different things that would count. All right.

Unknown Speaker 1:13:11
All right. Bondage like ropes, blindfold, handcuffs,

Unknown Speaker 1:13:15
blindfold and soft ties. Soft ties. Okay. The officer wrote for me.

Unknown Speaker 1:13:20
Oh, got it. Got it. Got it. Yeah. Roleplaying. Um, yeah. Okay. But stuff on you or a partner? We already said not her. But okay. Do you use sex

Unknown Speaker 1:13:34
toys? On occasion?

Unknown Speaker 1:13:36
Ever been to a sex club or a swingers party? No. Are you a lingerie lover? Loving on my girl. Body hair? Yes or no?

Unknown Speaker 1:13:47
I'm cool with it. I actually liked a little fuzz. All right. I was down there.

Unknown Speaker 1:13:51
Okay. Ever been caught having sex or masturbating? Yes,

Unknown Speaker 1:13:55
me and my girl the first time we had sex someone walked in on us. You want to bless those with that story? Is it gonna get you in trouble at home? I don't think so.

Unknown Speaker 1:14:09
Hopefully my family's not listening. My girl would be fine. Um, yes. I said we met at Pride last year, we were actually at a pool party. We were dancing it up. And my soon to be girl was I didn't know it was just a girl walked up to me. So dance on me is hot. We were dancing for a little while. And she was like, Hey, you want to come to my room? And I was like, right now? And she was like, Yeah, and I was like, Well, shit. Why he's ever done that. Of course. I'm like, No one believes me. But I'm like, swear to God. No one's ever been like, let's go. Like right now. She's like, Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna call you on it. And she was like, Come on, let's go. And so we went upstairs and we go to her room and we just get right to business. So like, like, go and I'm just fresh out of a relationship. Like y'all I'm free. Is pride and also the room busts open like, oh, so we both just stand there then the girl was like another stud. Like, like me like masculine. Yeah. So she Oh my bad and closes the door and I looked down at shorty like my girl and she goes, not my girl at the time. She's a girl. And she goes, alright, so insulin is pride everyone shares room so I'm just thinking it's one of her homies, you know? So like, three strokes later, boom, door opens. And I'm like, was with this girl? This this the mask girl comes running in the room. She's like, I know y'all. I know what y'all love to I know what y'all doing? It's I don't like

Unknown Speaker 1:15:39
you. We're gonna fighter you're gonna fighter.

Unknown Speaker 1:15:41
I wasn't gonna fighter because then I thought this is like so his pride in for our hetero listeners. Pride is wild. It's like spring break for lesbians. But imagine it's like, it's wild. You know? So I'm thinking it's like her girlfriend. I'm thinking like stepping out. Trying to get prize side. Because the second time home girl came in hot Talking Smack Yeah, so I took the horse to bed like, but like I had to put the peacock on.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:12
Like, titties out. tities nothing on the bottom either.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:15
No down around my ankles. Like oh, like I couldn't even because I was kind of stressed because I'm like, my feet tied up. She goes like I like but I'm like, already know I could fight Yeah. Picture you fucking naked squared up. Say hey, oh, like God, because she ran into Rosa. She came to hot. Yeah, I'm thinking like, this girl's cheating on her girl. And I'm about to beat and I was so mad because, you know, we ain't touch. So I got a little drama happening. Like, I like to be in some shape. I like I'm gonna have to beat up this girl in a random hotel room because I want to be a host. So then she kind of like when I square it up. She kind of talked but she went like past me and I followed her like, I'd stayed squared up with her. She grabbed her stuff, started grabbing her stuff out the bathroom and started yelling at the girl. I was like, I can't believe you do this to be she grabbed ran out slammed the door. Good. So I'm still standing there. Like,

Unknown Speaker 1:17:19
oh, like are we fighting? Are we fighting? We're not fighting.

Unknown Speaker 1:17:24
Fighting. All right. Gone. Looked at Oh, girl. She was on the bed like, Oh my god. It was so cool to focus that. She was like, I swear to God, I broke over a year ago.

Unknown Speaker 1:17:36
Wow. Just heartbroken. ex girlfriend

Unknown Speaker 1:17:40
are broke. Go for it. So I stormed over it. I put the little hotel door lock. Lock the damn door if you're gonna do that. And we were like, that was she was like that was kind of hot.

Unknown Speaker 1:17:53
I was like, Well, Mike do it.

Unknown Speaker 1:17:56
We finished that time we had a good room. It actually got better after we laugh because I think that adrenaline like we really got after it. So when it was over, I was like, I wasn't even trying to get her number, but we had already exchanged them. And I kind of was like, You got drama. And so I was like whatever we left. A couple days later, she texted me like, Look, I know it's kind of wild, but we had fun, like want to meet up for coffee. And I was like I you know, because at first I was like, Nah, that's too much. And she was I swear to you, I broke up with that girl so long ago. And then lesbian culture that does happen a lot. You'd be having a breakup with girls like three times you like, leave me alone. It happens all the time. So we actually had a nice coffee and you got to know each other. And here we are.

Unknown Speaker 1:18:46
It goes to show that just because you have a crazy, wild fling in the beginning doesn't it can't not turn into like a lasting healthy relationship. That's awesome. Yeah, I'm happy for you.

Unknown Speaker 1:18:59
We were like, are we healthy? Do we like each other? We're like, alright, we'll

Unknown Speaker 1:19:03
do that energy of pride too is just fucking and then like getting out of a relationship and wanting to just be free. Like, you know, I that must have been a fun experience, but also just so crazy. Like being naked and almost getting into a fight.

Unknown Speaker 1:19:17
I was like, I actually was like, Please don't make me beat you up.

Unknown Speaker 1:19:22
I don't need this in my life. Oh, that was the end of the lightning sex route. I'm glad we got that story at the end. We have two more segments left before I let you go. One is called Fuck, Marry kill

Unknown Speaker 1:19:42
marry one kill one go. I think we're done. We're done here. It's a fun game we play. I'm gonna give you three names. You're going to tell me which one you would fuck. Who you would marry and who you would kill. You want to play? Yeah, let's go. All right. So you are getting the openly gay athlete edition So, you gotta tell me out of Liz Carmouche Amanda Nunez and Raquel Pennington you gave me all stuff. I know I purposely I was like if I just give her well, I mean I also feel like there are more masculine outed athletes than feminine outed athletes. Is that safe to say?

Unknown Speaker 1:20:20
No, that's safe. You're there are slim pickings because just now when I said it, I was like, Okay, if we're going into name we don't really have that many fan out athletes,

Unknown Speaker 1:20:28
but I also did want to give you a fucking hard one. So you had to be like, Well, who do I want to? Bang and who do I want?

Unknown Speaker 1:20:37
Being named Okay, I got Liz, Amanda and Raquel Pennington. Okay, Fuck, Marry Kim. Okay, I'm gonna just go ahead kill this cut is already late. Liz. Thanks for being the first Yeah, they were off piece. It no offense, ladies lady.

Unknown Speaker 1:21:03
No, this is just all right. Liz has played this game as well. Raquel has played this this game as well on the show. Amanda's wife has been on the show as well. So I don't know if that makes you feel more comfortable. Cool.

Unknown Speaker 1:21:16
I spent time with her at Pride a couple years ago Nina? Yeah. A couple of products now

Unknown Speaker 1:21:21
you're both moms.

Unknown Speaker 1:21:23
Yeah, we were like Instagram friends. Okay, Liz is out here. Fuck marry kill. Oh my god. All right, I'm gonna just go ahead All right, I'm gonna marry Amanda because she's bigger than me and she could probably do all the hard stuff stuff that I now do and I won't have to do no more. Okay yes your Instagram feed like she liked the modem on she'd be fishing like she gets a hammer yeah, that's all I suddenly stuff that I

Unknown Speaker 1:21:52
don't like to do you're like I look like I like to do that but I don't want to do that. You know? It's like she

Unknown Speaker 1:21:57
carry all the bags to carry to Carsey. Yeah, well, Mary Amanda, she's gonna be handy. She can make the bread. Um, I guess I had the funk Rico. All right. All right. I'm topping though, okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:22:12
All right. So for all of you guys who are not subscribed to UFC fight pass, head over to UFC fight If you sign up now you get half a year for free. So go over there and that's where we're going to be reading all of your actual fan questions. So it for the people who are going to miss out on the fan questions Where can they find you on social media and your only fans and all that you said it earlier but let's let's do that one more time.

Unknown Speaker 1:22:39
Yeah, for sure I'm at Sarge in charge across all social media platforms. Definitely check out that only fans that's gonna be where I'm primarily pumping all my content now going forward. That's SAR J the letter in charge on it's also on Tik Tok Instagram, but only fans is where it's gonna be at for sure.

Unknown Speaker 1:22:58
Awesome. Is there anything else you want to promote? We're talking about

Unknown Speaker 1:23:02
eye fights coming up September 17. I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting something or somebody but enlarged Arjuna update

Unknown Speaker 1:23:09
perfect okay. Alright guys, that is it for episode 102 With UFC bantamweight fighter, Siddhartha Eubanks. Now, Siddhartha was one of the guests we've had on that I didn't know at all, but she was one of the few guests that I talked to and automatically was like, oh, yeah, we can be friends. You know, I just loved her energy. I'm really excited for her fight with Mariah morose that. That woman is super tough. I think her nickname is The Iron Lady. And she's actually was going to be a guest on this podcast a few weeks ago, but she had something happen. And I think it might be the same reason that the fight with Tsujihara got pushed back so sending lots of love and good good vibes to Mariah Maryrose for her personal situation, but I know it's gonna be a banger of a fight September 17. Guys, check that out. We don't know where it's going to be at but we'll you know, we'll be watching. Yeah. The UFC fight pass is the world's premier combat sports streaming service with over 200 live events, the largest fight library in existence, original shows and more. Sign up for a one year and get off half. get half off for a limited time at UFC fight pass slash sign up guys. That is the only place you're going to now hear all of your fan questions. That's just the way it is. I'm sorry, guys, so please, it's not that much money. I think it is like 999 or maybe 10 Yeah, something something pretty, pretty reasonable. And you know, it's not like you're just going over there for the podcast if you do a fucking love you. But you're getting all these other cool documentaries. My favorite show to be honest, you know, just really talk real with you guys and not you know, read a commercial. I love that show called fight lore. And what it is that UFC fight pass made, it's kind of like, you know, Netflix original, but it's a UFC fight pass original. And that show is a documentary slash cartoon. So for example, they have an episode on Bruce Buffer, and it's half Bruce talking about how we got into being a ring announcer and then half of it's also animated. So it's just so funny. And all these things all these episodes have their their real life scenarios. One is about Yeah, one is about Kimbo Slice. One is about how like Matt Hughes and another fighter got into a fight at the hospital after their fight. And it's all animated and funny. And I think maybe Nick Diaz, yeah, yeah. It's a great show. And you know, it's lighthearted, but it also really gives you a lot of historical events that like kind of made our sport the sport that it is. So all I'm saying is fight pass. It's got great podcasts on it now, but it also has a few other things that you guys might like if you do want to spend that like 999 1099 Whatever it is, okay. Next week, we got an amazing guest. I think the day that the next week's episode comes out is the first so technically we won't be in Pride week I mean Pride Month, but I did specifically seek out this woman because she is an LGBTQ plus advocate and a bad woman. Her name is Jessica Aguilar. She's currently fighting for extreme fighting championships, which to be honest, I'm not very familiar with, but she previously fought for Bellator the UFC and she used to be the World Series of fighting strawweight champion. I was previously in that organization before the UFC, a very good organization and this woman you know, she's a little closer to my age and her mid 30s og of the sport. I can't wait to have her on so check that out next week, guys. Don't forget website www sex violence with rebel our email, sex and violence And please just go give us a rating and a review because it helps us out a lot. And it's fuckin free. 99 Okay, I love you guys so much. Thank you for tuning in every week all the fan questions. I know you guys might be a little mad or butthurt that they're now on UFC fight pass but it was such a cool deal for us. You know now they're sending me out there to promote it and it's only up for here guys because the you know, the better we do the better quality product of podcast I can give you guys and so I love you guys special special thank you to our actually I still got the notes from last week. Last week DJ soul was out of town because it was his birthday. Our brown bar brown. So Happy belated birthday to DJ Zol. And a more important birthday in my opinion. This guy is six years sober.

Unknown Speaker 1:28:46
I am I'm honored to be around his energy. You guys know I'm on my own sober journey. Next month is my birthday July 9 And I'll be three years yeah, very stoked about that. So shout out to any of you guys on your recovery journey out there. We love you stay strong. Special thank you to tomorrow kid studio at tomorrow kids official where we make the magic and you can always find us on Instagram at sex and violence with rebel girl and myself at Ashlee MMA. I hope you guys enjoyed the show. I did. It was a fun one. Remember, be kind be grateful, but don't take shit from anyone. I'll talk to you guys next week with a new guest and more tales of sense

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