Ep.115 Susan Bratton (Intimacy Expert(
Sex and violence with rebel girl is presented by UFC fight pass. See the best that UFC fight pass has to offer on the fight past 24/7 stream, offering a constant channel of historic fight action all day, all night. Tune in sit back and enjoy a network created by fans for fans. Step into our world. UFC fight pass.com violence Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl presented by UFC fight pass the show that interviews top level MMA fighters and other experts in their fields about love, dating, romance, and that all too taboo subject sex. I'm your host, Ashley rebel girl Evans-Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence what's happening hot stuff. What's up my naughty listeners? We are back in studio and right out the gate. We gotta say. Welcome to Nick quarry from Amsterdam. He's in studio with us guys. If you're a longtime listener, you know the Nick is the man behind the mic. No, that's me. That's I'm the girl behind the mic. Nick is the man behind the computer screen and editing all the awesome clips that we do every single week. It's great to have Nick here. He's watching our little rinky dink setup here and hopefully he's not critiquing us too hard. But uh, so yeah, I just want to say it's very awesome to have Nick here. He's still looking for some kind of like content work. Come here. Come sit down, Nick. Real quick. Okay. Quick little interview with Nick. Yes. How's it feel to be in California?
Unknown Speaker 2:07
Oh, it feels fantastic. feels like home does feel like home a little bit. Yeah, I'm used to the climate. Everyone's friendly. Yeah. So yeah, I'm looking to make my dreams come true. So if you guys can help, like, please send some video work my way. I am not necessarily limited to the combat sports scene, but you know,
Unknown Speaker 2:27
okay, so you're going to be looking for some media type work content creation, and what areas Oh, see La San Diego any anywhere?
Unknown Speaker 2:37
Yeah, so I'm based in Orange County right now. So if it's OC LA, maybe San Diego Yeah, that could work as well. But la OC mostly and what exactly. So I do videography, video editing, content marketing, podcasts production as well if you guys have podcasts that need to be produced. So I have my own podcast so you can check it out and see my work. So
Unknown Speaker 2:59
what's it called make
Unknown Speaker 3:00
gold in the booth and the page is called AirMedia. productions. So
Unknown Speaker 3:04
okay, good. Nick is here for probably a month or two months, so he'll be in studio a lot. Just want to give him a little shout out. Thank you so much, Nick. Guys, I'll just give you a quick little update. But this episode this week is so fucking great. I can't even I wanted to talk to this woman for like another two hours. Super smart, super informative. But this last week has been interesting. And I wanted to let you know that Smackdown I went to that on Friday. That was so fun. I got to see Ronda Rousey do her thing. You know, understanding the switch a little bit more because literally, I'm expecting this like huge Ronda Rousey wrestling match. And then she comes out. She literally says, like, one or two things on the mic, and then armbars this girl within like 30 seconds. And I'm like, Oh, she probably got paid a million dollars. Right. So you know, I do miss seeing her in the cage. But what a great career move, you know, like less, I would I'd like to think less impact on her body and making more money. So it was it was really fun to see Rhonda do her thing. And then yeah, the shout out to Teddy and Jim Murray for those sweet tickets at the Honda Center as well. Just letting you guys know, October 21 is going to be a live tattoo session. So I don't know if this is your thing. But obviously, you know your girl likes tattoos. And one of my artists Ryan Jenkins, who I've been working with for many years, he's actually coming out from seventh tattoo in Las Vegas. He's doing a guest spot in San Clemente California at a brand new tattoo studio called stay sacred studios. You can check Ryan out on Instagram at Ryan Jenkins tattoo. But what we're going to be doing basically is a live Instagram session maybe YouTube of him finishing my leg and my leg tattoo. And unfortunately is that spot Next to my hoo ha, it's gonna not gonna feel good. And so I'm a little concerned because people are gonna be like asking questions and not sure how cool calm and collected I'll be able to answer questions. Well, getting a needle stuck next to my vagina. And then last, I just wanted to ask you guys's opinion, maybe So, Nick, you're not from here. But what's the photos everybody doing for Halloween? I feel like this is the first year that things are like back. You know, things have been opened up last year. But now things are really flowing parties are going on, you know, events and I want to do something fun. You guys know your girl doesn't drink. So, you know, don't be like go to this brewery. Like, tell me somewhere where I can drink or where I can go that house? Yeah, booze but like cool stuff, too. Like I want to dress up or something different and fun this year. Like a band called the Phoenix clubs where they have Oktoberfest a bunch of food and beers. Okay. I can do that. I can do that as Halloween. That's all but no, but I want I want Halloween plans. Next week, I need Halloween plans. Yeah, so guys, that hasn't been promoted yet. Okay, okay. It's all might have some secret plans. But we got it. We got a whole month guys. But I just want to put that into the universe, send your girl some cool events that are going on, we want to do a big this year, me and the boyfriend are probably going to dress up like Morticia. And yeah, where it is we're leaning towards. But reminder guys, if you want to catch a girl, dressing up in other outfits, you can support my exclusive content site. That's Ashley rebel girl.com. That's where all the two sexy for Instagram content is located. And if you know I do a little bit of cosplay, and all that, check that out, support us support me in the show that way. And we also I also have a very special guest who's going to be collaborating with the sexy pictures. So that's just a little teaser. also support the show by checking out our website, sex violence, rebel girl.com. We got lots of merch on there. And I think I just added a link where you can like buy signed pictures and bullshit like that if you want anything. And then lastly, before we get to our guest, please help the show out. If you haven't already rate and review the show. I'll let you pause the show right now and go do that.
Unknown Speaker 7:21
Okay, you're back. Thank you so much. Thank you for doing that. All right. Alright, guys. Before we get to our guest, let's actually talk about some of the sponsors that make this show possible. When choosing a supplement company, most would think it's an easy choice, but it's not. It's a matter of pride. You have your goal set to become who you were meant to be a decision, a moment in life when you decide to be more, to be great to use everything you can to be more than who you were. I choose perfect sports as my supplement company. Because perfect sports has been dedicated to providing top pros and athletes with the absolute highest quality nutritional supplements for over 18 years. Since 2003. Perfect sports has been the choice for the most dedicated and discerning MMA and physique transforming athletes who demand the very best. Perfect sports is known for their product, diesel, New Zealand whey protein isolate. It's a pure grass fed pasture raised protein that comes exclusively from the isolated island nation of New Zealand, virtually free of lactose with a 90% protein yield. Even people who feel that they might be sensitive to dairy, love this protein. I'm really most excited because you guys know me about their newest product, the diesel vegan that will be ready in about a month, so stay tuned. But they aren't just a protein company. They've got products for bulking and leaning out products for strength and recovery, pre workout or health and wellness to keep your immune up during these unprecedented times. Buy online at www dot perfect sports.com and use code rebel girl for 20% discount. Connect with them on social media for all their latest product releases and giveaways. That's at perfect sports. T m again, connect with them on social media for all the latest products and giveaways at perfect sports. TM choose perfect sports. Be great through hempco are big believers in the power of hemp to help you find your better no matter how you define that they're committed to creating a straighter line to help you get there. They're upfront about what hemp is, what it can do, and how they make their products sourced from seed to shelf. organically grown hemp, non GMO hemp, USA grown and bottled and vegan. When you order from through hemp. You can be certain that you're getting the highest quality broad spectrum CBD without any THC because they're hemp is grown organically in Northwest America. They know every step your CBD has taken from the seed that's planted to the final product on the shelf. Whether you're new to CBD, or you've been taking it for years you can trust through hemp will deliver the best quality CBD with absolutely zero THC. Check out their website at through hemp.com and connect with them on Instagram at through underscore hemp. Be sure to use promo code Ashley 20 at checkout for 20% off your entire purchase on your path towards better skip the detours start with through. Now back to our episode. Today's very special guest is an author trusted hot sex advisor to millions and self proclaimed orgasm and not co founder of both personal life media and the 20. She's an expert in sexual techniques, bedroom communication skills, organic supplements and non invasive treatments that improve sexual vitality for both men and women. Best Selling Author of 34 books and programs she has been featured in New York Times, CNBC and today's show, and she makes frequent appearances on ABC, CBS, The CW Fox and NBC. Her philosophy is that orgasms aren't an occasional bonus. They're our birthright. We talk about sex a body contact sport, Crouching Tiger, squatting lion intercourse techniques, milking the penis with vaginal muscles, one hour extended orgasms the sexual bucket list G Spot ones thrust in time technique connecting your cock to your heart and so much more. Here's your guest, intimacy expert Susan Bratton.
Unknown Speaker 12:13
Okay, we are here, guys, this is a very, very special episode. If you're a longtime listener, you know we have 98 99% combat sports athletes. But every once in a while we mix it up with a special expert an expert in their field. And now we have an expert in the sex field, not just sex, I'd say love romance and better intimacy. Overall, Susan Bratton is the intimacy expert to millions author, I just gave her amazing intro. So let's get started talking to Susan Susan, welcome to the show.
Unknown Speaker 12:46
Ashley, you know, when we started, we decided that we wanted to talk about lots of sex when talk about sex and sex is a body contact sport. And the more embodied you are, the better sex is and the more you move around, and the more you play with your body in space and in opposition, and in wrestling and in movement, the better and more satisfying your sexes. I mean, really, the worst kind of sex is the they just lied there. They just laid there. Right? I guess the shittiest kind of sex there is the best kind of sex there is, is the kind of sex where you're just like, completely exhausted, completely spent completely satisfied. And a little sway. Yeah, so
Unknown Speaker 13:35
very much like the sports the combat sports that we do. You are right, you're very right. And like sex and combat sports. For me personally, the more in shape I am, the better I perform, which sounds weird, and you don't have to be I think in tip top shape to have great sex. But I know for me personally, the more comfortable I am in my own body, the more I can have better sex because I'm not worrying about this love handle or this titty or whatever it is, right?
Unknown Speaker 14:04
That is so true. As a matter of fact, one of my one of my favorite new sex techniques is I call it Crouching Tiger squatting lion or something like that. Okay. One of the last series of of I have an email newsletter and people read my email newsletter and I do sex tips. And one of the last series that I wrote was all a bunch of intercourse techniques. And not just for what the male bodied person could do, the penis owning person could do. But what what we can do as as women of all the owners to make sex really great, and there's a lot of good movement now for teaching women cowgirl and riding and woman on top and giving the woman control of the thrusts the slides the grinds, understanding the distinction between the sliding and grinding techniques, and one of the the squatting Tiger one is actually your kind of like up. I'm gonna do it. Top. We're matching. I'm sitting on my, my, my big chair here. And I'm basically going like this up and down. Yeah. Above my partner on my haunches. Yeah. Watching and moving up and down. And you can't do that. Unless you've got good glutes, and qua Yeah. And so you miss out on so many things with great sex, this positions you can take the holds you can do, and also things like opposition and pressing against your partner and holding on to your partner in different ways. I mean, there's just so much to be said, for being an athletic sexual person.
Unknown Speaker 16:01
You're right, you're so right. And, you know, I think sometimes I think about that, from an aesthetic point of view. But you're right, it's not about just feeling good about the way that I look. It's like, you know, strengthening your body so that you can have better sex not, you know, you can do key goals and strengthen your vagina. But you know, like you said, holding on to someone being able to hold your weight up. I'm going through a spine surgery recovery. And so for about a year and a half, I was the weakest I've ever been in my whole life. And I realized I wasn't able to do her have the same sex that I was able to have while I was an athlete in her tip top shape. And I realized like, okay, obviously, I want to get back in shape for competition purposes. But I was like, I just can't wait to get my body strong, so I could have great freaky sex again,
Unknown Speaker 16:51
that's ugly. Well, and your orgasmic capacity is increased, the more muscle tone you have in your pelvic bowl. So it's not just about squeezing your vagina around a dildo or CoQ, that's good, right, you get more satisfaction. It's not just you're doing that for your partner, which by the way, the French call that POM qua P O MP Oh, IR Pom Pom, or they have a name for that the French do. And that's the idea of kind of milking the penis with your vaginal contracting muscle contract. Okay, but your orgasm, it's kind of this experience of your your you get this flood of sensation and the signals of sensation go to your brain. And the more signals of sensation you have going to your brain, the more orgasmic intensity you experience. So the more that you're able to use and squeeze all the muscles in your pelvic bowl, not just around the penis, but just like in your in your stomach and your abdomen, those contraction, those contractions are what allow you to have female, a Jackie lettori experiences. And for a lot of women, you know, all women have the ability to ejaculate during pleasure. Yeah. It's not that some women can and some women can't. All women can eject or ejaculate a watery liquid. And the watery liquid actually comes from your blood plasma. And it's recruited down into your urethral canal through these little glands called your skeans glands. And when you have that orgasmic contraction, that's what expresses the fluid out of the urethra, okay. And the stronger your musculature, the more you can squirt the fluid out that wow, I'm Rita that divine nectar that that is the fluid of the Goddess.
Unknown Speaker 19:07
So would it be safe to say that? Women who squirt? Or would it be safe to say that athletes, female athletes are more likely to be squirters than your average woman because they have more control over their pelvic floor?
Unknown Speaker 19:23
I don't know about that. I think that squirting For some women, they just do it automatically. For some women. They're like, Why? Why am I paying the bat and they don't understand that it's ejaculation. For other women, they they just have kind of all always naturally done it. And then for other women like myself, the minute I learned it was a thing. I wanted to know how to do it. And I told my husband we got to learn how to do this. And it was one of the things that really got 20 years ago in my mid 40s. That changed my career from being a Silicon Valley internet executive to a sexpert because you wanted to learn how to squirt, because I learned how to squat and I was like, Well, shit, I need to put this on the internet and teach people how to do it because it's unbelievably satisfying.
Unknown Speaker 20:08
I didn't know you could teach yourself, I didn't know
Unknown Speaker 20:11
every woman can learn how to do it. Just like every woman can learn how to have 20 Different kinds of orgasms. Every body can have 20 Different kinds of orgasms. And the 20th. One is wild card. Because there are things that I don't even know about yet. And I've been studying this for two decades, studying orgasmic potential. I jokingly call myself an orgasm and like, I go to the far reaches of orgasmic outer space, and I come back and go, Okay, here's the map. Here's how you get there. You know, thank you for
Unknown Speaker 20:45
doing the work you're doing Susan. Okay, so, I mean, it sounds extensive, but would it be okay to ask you if you could briefly go over some of the male and female different types of orgasms?
Unknown Speaker 21:02
Oh, yeah, totally. There's basically three kinds of orgasms the human body can have, and men and women and I'm just gonna call it men and women. Even though I am in full support of rainbow sparkle Gender Spectrum expression,
Unknown Speaker 21:16
so as to fuck who you want to fuck love, who you want to love. It's all good.
Unknown Speaker 21:21
And be who you want to be and let that constantly evolve. Yeah, right. Let's all have our own expression as we mature through our lives and what we want changes and, and what desires we tap into surface. Yes. But there's two chromosomes, there's X X, and there's X, Y and X, X is female and X, Y is male. That's just the sexes, if you will, not what your gender identity is. Yeah, and so you either are a vulva or a penis owner. And that they're kind of different. But in a way, it's ones in Indian ones, and Audi and they started out the same and they just morphed a little bit due to hormones. So we all basically have the same orgasmic capacity. And there's three kinds of orgasms. There's locations to touch, like my penis, my clitoris, my nipples, whatever it might be. And then there are orgasmic techniques, and I would consider female ejaculation. More like a technique, then a location to touch because women can release their feminine waters in different ways through different types of touch. For some women, it's from being penetrated for other women. It's from G Spot stimulation. For other women, it's from clitoral stimulation. So there are certain things you can do to kind of stack the decks to get yourself to score and I can tell you what those are if you want to circle back. So there's orgasmic techniques. Another one is expanded orgasm, which is different than being multi orgasmic. Or having extended orgasms. You know, orgasm for a long time is good, but expanded, orgasms are stalking, orgasms that become even longer and more intense as you go. So you can come for like an hour at a time. Basically, you can come until you just have to stop because you get thirsty or tired. And athletic women can come longer and harder than women who are not athletic. So we have a competitive advantage. Great news. Great news. Super good news. It's so funny because right after this podcast, I actually I have like party on the top. I've got my pink outfit to match you and all your cute, adorable hot pink. And on the bottom, I've got my tights because I'm gonna go run the beach stairs, I do about 1000 steps.
Unknown Speaker 23:45
Yeah, if you guys didn't have a reason to keep your body and your mind healthy and fit. Now on top of you know, looking good, you know, feeling good. Better sex, like kinda nice. Yeah, come harder. Yeah, come better come longer. Yeah, exactly.
Unknown Speaker 24:01
And so the techniques are another aspect. And then the third I like to call objects of desire. So sex toys, fetish, where, yeah, whatever it might be. There are objects that generate orgasmic experience costumes, and those are the three categories costumes, anything like whatever, you're into flogging, electro stem, you know, the list goes on and wax, you know, things that get people turned on. And so there's about three categories. So within those categories, you know, for for men, here's the interesting thing. One of the things I recently put together was something called your sex life bucket list. I want what I've noticed that people want for me is not just like, Okay, what are what are the possibilities of what I can do? Like what's my body capable of because I want to do them all. There's a lot of people like me who learned about a new thing and they're like, I'm gonna
Unknown Speaker 24:57
try that. Yeah. I think I like, I'd like that very much to Yeah. You're a
Unknown Speaker 25:03
lifelong learner, you want to have new sexual experiences. Yeah. A lot of people do. And what people want me to do is tell them all the different kinds of things they might be able to do, like, okay, so what, what, what's available to me? So I put together this sex life bucket list. It's it's actually at sex life bucket list.com. It's a downloadable PDF. And the idea is that they're all 20 kinds of orgasms are, are on there and explained, but there's a lot of other types of experiences that you can have, whether they're role play, or kinky sex or tantric love making experiences. I mean, everyday sex really, really runs the gamut. Yeah. And I find that that's what people liked the most is Okay, so tell me what's available. And I would like to go sex, shopping, you know, like, tell me all the things that are possible. And I'll make my little bucket list of things I'd like to try. Because over the years as you master one thing, okay, now I'm a squirter. Oh, okay, now I'm gonna now I can have expanded orgasms. Oh, now I can do this. Now I can do that. What I've found, most women are interested in having orgasms from intercourse, which is just a learned skill. A lot of women think, Oh, I just can't do it. And I'm like, No, I just didn't do it yet. You just need to learn how to how to do it. That's
Unknown Speaker 26:29
a huge a huge thing, right? It's like no big deal. Ladies, you can't come from intercourse but you still got the clitoral stimulation. You know, it's like counting it out. I actually listened to one of your other shows. And this got me really excited because you basically your stance was that, that that is bullshit that you should be able to have penetrated orgasms, and it's very hard for me personally as well. And, you know, I'm super interested to learn like how how can we how can I do that?
Unknown Speaker 27:02
Easy peasy, super easy. I can we can circle back to that too. I'll just finish off the tangent Timon. So women are interested in orgasms from intercourse. Effortless, intercourse, orgasmic pleasure, like basically, you stick your dick in me and I just start coming. Like that's what every woman can do. I learned how you can learn how everyone can learn how and it's a thing and you can really do it. You don't even need to touch the clip because the clip wraps around the vagina. The clitoral structure is actually like a bracelet around the vagina. It's not just that tip up at the top. And so when I tell women that they're like,
Unknown Speaker 27:40
No way I feel embarrassed that I don't I don't know my own anatomy. I'm like Mocha. Yeah, I did not know that. That's my
Unknown Speaker 27:47
job. I just yeah, that stuff. Okay. And then the number two thing women want us to learn how to have female ejaculatory experiences. They want to learn how to squirt once they realize that all women can and that it's not urine. It's actual a jacket material. And here's the here's the thing that makes sense to a lot of women around that. I explain Okay, well, does a guy pee and ejaculate out of the end of his dick? Yes or no? Yes. So we women have the same thing. It's just inside us. It doesn't stick out of an appendage like the penis, but we have a urethral canal. And we both squirt or ejaculate and urinate out of the urethral canal just like men do. It's just an any not anatomy.
Unknown Speaker 28:29
There's a major thought process that, you know, some say women can square and some say no, that's just paying. And And honestly, I didn't know I didn't know but they're wrong. It's good to know.
Unknown Speaker 28:41
They are wrong. Okay? They are uninformed, uneducated. Yeah. It's just a process of bringing the world along, waking everyone up to our you know, our orgasmic possibility. So that's what women want and they want more tantric lovemaking. They want slow or erotic sensual pleasuring relaxed arousal, those are the top three men. What they want, number one is whatever she wants. Yeah. Like literally men do and would give up their own pleasure for their woman's pleasure. They're just, I mean, guys get a really bad rap without being, you know, I don't know, selfish in bed. And honestly, that's just a lack of knowledge because we don't have good sex education in our country. And really, they're just doing what feels good to them and thinking that's what will feel good to us. And once they understand what we want, that's what they want to give us so desperately. So that's number one on their list. Number two is men want to learn how to become multi orgasmic. They want to have full body male, multiple orgasms, and they want to have prostate orgasms. Pete the pee spot, so we were we've been talking a lot about G Spot orgasms or squirting orgasms, but men want prostate orgasms. So I'm really happy to tell you that At men are becoming much less afraid. They're much more willing to explore their back door than they used to be. They're more open to it. They're less like, that's gay. It's not gay. Yeah, your anatomy, it's your body, and there's a pleasure point inside your rectum. That's incredible. And so men are getting really, really, really interested in that as well. And there's a lot of good men sex toys that help access that for them. So it's just really interesting to see out of the 48 different possibilities on the sex life bucket list. What it is that where people are and what they're kind of gravitating toward right now. Because having done this for 20 years, I can tell you that people are caught. Our culture is constantly sexually expanding and becoming more mature and becoming more heart connected, and becoming more open to having experiences. So there is very good news on the sex frontier.
Unknown Speaker 31:00
Yeah, it's so funny that you actually said that your sexual bucket list just two episodes ago, I started asking my normal guests who are, you know, athletes, you know, what's something that's on your sexual bucket list that you haven't done that you would like to do one day? Because, you know, there's only so many questions you can ask. And obviously, the people that I have on are much less comfortable talking to you about their sex lives than you are. You're an intimacy expert. So that's interesting. So yes, the sexual bucket list and guys, if you're listening, and you hear a link, I'm gonna include everything that Susan says in the show notes, so don't have to pull over and take a note or whatever, if you're doing your spreadsheets or whatever, right now, if you're driving, Susan, that's super informative. And I don't know if you wanted to kind of elaborate on that, but I, I feel like I would be doing the ladies a disservice if I didn't have you elaborate on the possible squirting? How can we get disheartened? If you don't know how? Yeah, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 31:56
there's a couple of things. The first is that for a lot of women, when we're trying to achieve an orgasm, we tend to clench down. It's almost like we tighten up almost like we're trying to like concentrate the force of the stimulation. On to our clitoral tip. Yes. And when you want to have a jack elate your feminine waters, you actually could do the opposite, which we call birthing your orgasm. You want to push out it's not going to flow if you're tight. You have to Oh, yeah. And there's a lot to opening your pussy. Just like allowing the muscles to relax allowing yourself to completely open even during intercourse. One of the tips to having orgasms from intercourse is instead of the you know, palm bar and the tightening and the squeezing, is actually to push open, open, open, open, relax, breathe, breathe deeply into your pelvis. Breathe right in to your Yoni, Yoni being the tantric lovemaking word for your Volvo, your vagina, your genitals. There's a lot of different words that I use to kind of mix it up and, and I like everything from pussy to Yoni, to vulva to vagina, you know, they all were, yeah, awesome. So that that pushing out is going to allow the waters to flow. It's really good to be on like a liberator, fascinator, or waterproof sheet of some kind. I mean, you can literally just buy a fitted waterproof sheath for $15 off Amazon and throw it on top of your bedding and then put another sheet on top of that. And then you won't worry about lube or fluids getting onto your bedding. And when you're done. You can just peel it off. wadded up, throw it in the laundry basket and snuggle into your bed
Unknown Speaker 33:55
and relax. Yeah, okay.
Unknown Speaker 33:57
So for for us women, a big, big part of finally achieving female ejaculatory experiences and and I don't know if you've noticed it, but I haven't really said the word, ejaculatory orgasm. And that's because when your waters release when the fluid comes out, it doesn't necessarily coincide with a feeling of orgasm, like it does when you have an orgasm from stroking your clitoral structure, really so it it can but it doesn't have to because they're two separate systems in the body. That's what I also explained to guys because, guys, when they're trying to learn how to have multiple orgasms, full bodied, male, multiple orgasms, they're not doing what's called semen retention, which is not a jack elating they're just ejaculating when they want to instead of it being the way they have an orgasm men have essentially been taught to conflate, or to believe that you can't orgasm and you don't have an orgasm unless you ejaculate. And that's not true at all. They're two separate systems. You can have lots and lots and lots of orgasms. And you can a jacket.
Unknown Speaker 35:13
I did not know women did not know that. I don't
Unknown Speaker 35:15
know. Is it just fascinating fractions?
Unknown Speaker 35:19
They are there. Okay. Continue. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 35:22
yeah. So for women, don't be surprised if you have a bunch of orgasms, and you scored a bunch of fluid, and they're not happening concurrently. The other thing is that when you start having female ejaculation, often it's just a little bit of water. You notice being a little tiny bit wetter. Yeah. Or like a little spring is bubbling up from the ground. Yeah, it's not what you'd see on porn, where, you know, those the women who ejaculate on porn, they're, they're very, very good at having a high volume of fluid ejected from their urethral canal. They can like squirt across the room, you know, they can support 10 People wearing wearing rain jackets.
Unknown Speaker 36:08
The best of the best squirters
Unknown Speaker 36:11
you learn how to do that over time you learn how to and sometimes you release a lot of fluid and sometimes not so much. So hydration is very important. You need to be topped up with your electrolytes. Yeah. Right you want we literally want to drink some nice, salty electrolyte water before you have sex. So you've got more fluid in there so that we're pushing out. Yeah, the other thing to know is that you, you can trust that your body isn't going to pay. And this is something that a lot of women are afraid of. They're afraid what if I pay what if I want to shout he comes out how embarrassing well, just as a man's not peeing in your vagina when he ejaculates when he's coming and having an order. He's his body knows what a what a calm is, and what a pice is yes, so does yours. There's a little muscle in there, that's almost like a valve that controls the flow from your bladder, and it shuts off the flow from your bladder, as you allow yourself to get turned on. And as your urethral canal fills with fluid, and you have this contraction, and that pushes the fluid out. The other thing is that the G spot is for 90% of women, the path to female ejaculation, and the G spot is not a spot. This is another myth. It's like half of what I do is unwind shit. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 37:37
Oh, yeah. And teach people these myths or untrue facts that society has developed over time. Yeah. Because honestly, I'm listening to you Susan. And I'm like, you literally all you just said in a very intellectual way is that men can do it. Why can't women men can come in and ejaculate from the same hole? Why can't wait, let's just like, like, you know, it's like, oh, women can't do that when we get I think we just need to give the female body more credit in society. So maybe we can do
Unknown Speaker 38:06
it all Yeah, just as well. And better in some ways. So the g spot is there's two places to access the g spot and the G spot is really the urethral sponge. And I've got a picture on it. I'm gonna grab it
Unknown Speaker 38:23
perfect. I'm literally thinking of yes sponge.
Unknown Speaker 38:29
It is it's spongy tissue. And here's here's what it looks like.
Unknown Speaker 38:36
Okay, so that is the vaginal opening or,
Unknown Speaker 38:40
this is the spongy tube the your real okay canal. And those green little little stems are the Skeens glands. And the skins glands are the channels where the fluid comes down through your pelvic bowl and is recruited into that spongy tissue, and then it's squeezed out of this hole. Okay, here's where this hole is. So,
Unknown Speaker 39:08
let's do a level set. This is the vulva and the vulva is the outer labia, the inner labia, when you open them the inside of the inner labia is the vestibule. And then the clitoris is at the top with the hood over the hood is the inner labia that comes down and opens and comes to the bottom called the Four shet another French word. So there's the clitoral tip and the shaft. And then if you go inside the vestibule and go down, this is where the P comes out. This is the urethral exit. It's your yard or from your bladder out where you pee comes out. All around here is that spongy tissue. This little Rosebud is the exit for the female jacket and the p and this Spot. This little Rosebud is on the face of the vestibule. So inside, if you take if you touch your clitoris and you stroke down between the labia, you'll hit that little rosebud. And if you keep going down, you get to the vaginal opening, which is called the InterOil sphincter. It's a round muscle. So as the urethra you can close them off, right, you can squeeze them open and closed. And so those that is, that's the g spot right there. As well as going inside the vagina and up on the roof of the vagina. When you touch the roof, you hook your finger up towards your belly button on the roof of your vagina. All along the roof of your vagina is that spongy urethral tissue. And here's what if I peel the skin off of the vulva? This is what's underneath got it? Three giant erectile tissue structures. So there's the tip of the clitoris. The shaft of the clitoris, it's very important for a woman to get a clitoral or erection. She needs her clit filled with blood flow, which is another reason why athletes are the best lovers because they're in good shape, and they've got great blood flow. So they get a lot of blood flow to that tissue. And if you think about it, think about the fact that the clitoris and this erectile tissue, there's as much erectile tissue in a penis as there is an a vulva, we have the same amount of erectile tissue as a penis does. Only ours drapes around our vagina, underneath the skin, okay. And so a man wouldn't want to have sex with a flaccid penis, because it's less surface area. When it's small. It sends less signals of pleasure to the brain. When it's filled with blood and it's big. It's got a lot more surface area, blasting the brain with pleasure signals. Yeah, that's what we need to do is we need to give ourselves about 20 minutes of stimulation, vibrators fingers, tongues, et cetera. Okay, playing with nipples, making out kissing all of that fills our erectile system with blood. It gives us a clitoral erection it plumps up and then it sends massive signals of pleasure to our brain. Yeah, so the biggest trick to cross that gasm chasm, the orgasm gap between how easy it is for a guy to have an orgasm from intercourse and how hard much harder it is for girl is that she just isn't getting enough for play. So the biggest trick to having orgasms from intercourse is way more stimulation of all the tissue prior to penetration. And so if she fills up the shaft, and the arms which are called crura and the legs which are called vestibular bulbs, and she strokes that G Spot from the face or the vestibule as well as from inside the vagina going up inside the vagina, and she gets that perineal sponge also filled with blood that's on the bottom floor of the vagina between the vagina and the rectum and all that's filled with blood. You don't even have to touch the tip of the clitoris ever it gets moved and stimulated just from penetration alone. And when you go inside and you stroke the roof of the vagina with the butter butterfly. Oh, this is the come Heather
Unknown Speaker 43:49
I'm a fan of Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 43:52
yeah. Just this kind of like, come here. Come to me. Or windshield wipers whack and forth and wipers. Also, a knuckle on the bottom and a finger on the top like this is really knighting something. Yeah, you're hitting the peritoneal sponge at the same time you're hitting the g spot. Yeah. And ones, w a n ds ones G Spot ones one of the one of the things that I created, it's at G Spot joy.com. So g s potjoy.com. It's my guide to G Spot stimulator toys and wands. And you have to be very careful about how you use them. There's optimal and very suboptimal way and I shot a very homegrown video showing you how to do it because the manufacturers don't do videos about how to use the product. Okay, and most of what I see them doing in porn is Really not optimal, really. So I created a guide that gives you my recommendations for the best products. You can use whatever you want, but I show you how to use it in an explicit video. And I don't send that to you automatically you have you get an email from me when you get the guy that says, Okay, here's an explicit video, because some people don't want to see those things. But many people do. And they want to see how to use the tools. And so wands are very good, because the g spot itself, you have to warm it up very slowly. It's a slow responder. It's not like the clitoris, where you can stick a little vibe on the tip of your clit. And give yourself an orgasm in like two seconds. Yeah, the G spot needs that time to get warmed up and filled with blood. And then once that whole bubble structure is filled with blood, and that's why wands are good, because your arm gets tired, your hands get tired. And so it's and they feel better than fingers. Yeah. So the the idea of learning how to evacuate is a combination of relaxation, in gorge meant, which means being filled with blood, having a basically a clitoral heart on being willing to push out, not worrying that it's pee, feeling really comfortable and relaxed, and then slowly building up the stimuli, that stimulation that you need. And your waters will release.
Unknown Speaker 46:32
I love that so much. You know I have to be I got to stop being selfish. I myself, obviously, I'm female. So I wanted to know that information for, you know, my followers and my listeners, but also my personal use. But now 85% of my listeners are males. So I'm wondering if we can help these guys out. I was listening to the podcast, shout out to shameless sex, great episode with you. And it was all about this stroke method. And it was a lot of math. It seemed like I'm such a meathead. I was like, you know, the stroking the numbers 10 Nine going down. Yeah, I was wondering if you could possibly elaborate on that for some of our male listeners, because just listening to you talk about it was literally turning me on picturing my partner doing that. I was like, oh, that sounds like it's gonna be me. It reminded me of Monica from friends. You know, I'm talking about where she's explaining an orgasm. She's like, 445456. It's kind of like the erogenous zone. She like tells Joey like, this is what you should touch. And she's like, going like 445456, you know, and she's explained it. She almost like has an orgasm, because she's thinking about what it would be doing. And I and I flashed back to like that scene because as I was listening to your techniques for the males stroke method, I was like, Wow, this. I want my listeners to hear this. I really do. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 47:53
Okay, good. Well, and thank you for mentioning that. That's called thrust in time. It's like, just in time, thrust in time, at that thrust in time.com. And it's a downloadable technique. It's probably one of my most popular techniques. I'd say. It's the technique that I get the most, you know, like, people sliding into my DM, where there are the most exclamation points.
Unknown Speaker 48:17
Like it was amazing. Thank you so much for a look at got it.
Unknown Speaker 48:23
And what why I think it's so popular is that it does two things. It solves what I think are probably the two most common problems. He comes to fast and she doesn't come from penetrative intercourse. Yeah. And the thrust, what thrust in time does is it gives him stamina. And what it does for her is it gives her the kind of stimulation that her body needs, because what it is actually doing is it's toggling the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. And we need that toggling. We need that. There's another way that I describe it called peeking. That's another technique that is used in the expanded orgasm practice. And it's essentially the stroke delivery. It's like Stroke, stroke, stroke, pause, stroke, stroke, stroke, pause, stroke, stroke, stroke, pause, and in the pauses, our female bodies reach for the stroke that we want. And when we don't get it, we come toward you a little bit more. The thrust in time is based on an ancient Taoist men's stamina technique. Because one in four guys of all ages, feel like they need to last longer than they do. And what it does is it essentially you start out with a count of strokes. But over time, you get an unconscious competence and you don't have to count anymore. It becomes hardwired into your body. And basically, it's a combination of what I would call short and long or shallow and deep stuff. Folks, so his penis is in her vagina. But in the beginning, it's barely in there. Remember when I talked about that in toroidal sphincter the opening to the vagina being that round muscle? Yep. For a lot of women, what we want is a slower entry than we've been getting, a lot of guys feel like they just need to like jam their whole penis in us right away. And that's too much and we can tract from it. And it pushes us away from our orgasm rather than brings us toward her orgasm. Yeah. And it's better to have a much slower warmup I tell people wait until her vagina is basically sucking your penis in. It wants you in there so badly. And that goes back to my thing about foreplay, the 20 minutes of foreplay, and warm up that needs to be done to the vulva before penetration, so she gets good blood flow. And then once you get to that point of the warm up in the foreplay, and she's ready to take you in, instead of going all the way in, you actually do, it's based on a 10 count. So you're doing nine shallow strokes and one deep stroke, then eight shallow strokes, and then two deep strokes, and then seven shallow strokes, and then three deep strokes. And then you keep on going all the way down. And by the time you get to four or five deep strokes, she's likely going to have an orgasm from intercourse, perhaps her first one, because most guys are doing what they see in porn, which is pumping like a piston.
Unknown Speaker 51:33
No, there's a time and place for but
Unknown Speaker 51:36
every girl likes a good pounding when she's ready. And she'll tell you when that is. That's not where you start. And what the counting does is number one, it gives him something to think about, so he doesn't come too fast. The second thing that it does is it gives him the short strokes, which don't give them as much sensation, with a few long strokes allowing him to kind of build up his own engagement or blood flow to his penis. Because if he gets hyper, kind of stimulated, he'll come too fast. But if he slows down, and he does these shallow strokes, and shout and everything is slow in the shallow strokes, it's one of the things that guys tend toward is fucking too fast. Yeah, they need to slow down, and then they need to slow down some more. And then they need to slow down and go about 10% as fast as that I mean they really
Unknown Speaker 52:34
everywhere and jack rabbits out here a
Unknown Speaker 52:36
lot jack rabbits and a lot of pistons and a lot of like, performance anxiety and a lot of you know, just like Mindless Behavior rather than being completely connected. A 71 guy was talking to me the other day, and he said, I just don't feel like sex is satisfying. It's, you know, like, I have an orgasm, but it's just not what I thought it would be. And I said, you have to connect your heart to your cock. Oh, he goes. That's it. And I'm like, don't feel bad guys are walking around with their Cox completely disconnected from their hearts. And that they just don't know to do that. And so assume one of the biggest things we teach men and in our stamina techniques is when you slow down and you get into your heart and you feel her in your heart through your cock as you're penetrating her, then you're becoming much more present. Yeah. And performance anxiety, which leads to premature ejaculation is fear, anxiety, it's worrying about the future, what could happen. It's thinking about what happened in the past, if you're if you're present with her. So you've got to balance the counting, with being present with her and connecting your heart. But like a good golf swing or learning how to drive a stick shift car, it becomes muscle memory. As you practice everyone that's
Unknown Speaker 54:15
listening to this usually is thinking about some kind of sports or athletic endeavor. I literally was thinking about that when it came to the squirting techniques or the stroke methods. If you practice it, you can perfect it. And if you perfect it, you will have amazing sex and it just sounds like why would you not just try some of these techniques? I'm looking at the time I'm like there's just not enough time. I have so many more questions. I'll come back. Okay, please, please, please, please. This is amazing. Okay. Yeah. So connecting your cock to your heart, you know, with these different breathing techniques. Is there anything is there another way that men can feel more? You know, connected or in touch? Besides just like breathing is there anything they can do as far as like reading or I know as being fit as important diet is important as well, right?
Unknown Speaker 55:07
Well, I have a series of audios for men that talk about male Multiple Orgasm, the ME Breath, the stamina, the Chi breath regenerating more turn on, sometimes guys are the opposite end where instead of feeling like they come too fast, they have delayed ejaculation or loss of sensation or they just don't feel like they have enough sexual energy. And so we do we teach the Chi breath. That's all for free at Freedom audios. And the reason I called it the freedom audios. It's at Freedom audios.com Is that when you have what's called a jack dilatory choice when you can decide when you want to come and you don't come a minute before you want to where she begs you to. You just drop into a new level of confidence and personal power. And you're able to get present and connect your dick to your heart in a way that you weren't when you were all jacked up with worry. Yeah. So freedom audience is a really good place to go to learn about all that whole world of just kind of owning your orgasmic intensity and experience. I
Unknown Speaker 56:12
love that and I was thinking about this while you were explaining it. I don't quite know. I've heard of it. But I don't know what edging is. When you were explaining the stroking technique, like is that similar in the way where it's like you get yourself to a point and then pull back a little bit like are they similar?
Unknown Speaker 56:29
They're very similar. Edging is essentially an expanded orgasm for a man where he learns how to understand his point of no return and get close to it but not go over the edge and ejaculate. And it's really good for learning male Multiple Orgasm. Essentially what you do is you learn while masturbating, how to know when your point of no return is and pull back from it and keep yourself riding the edge of orgasm. It's the first step in gaining ejaculatory choice and moving into having full body orgasms without a jack elating. So it's important edging is like a edging is like the the crawl of the walk of the run. Okay, being able to run full body and you know, energetic orgasms and come without the ejaculation.
Unknown Speaker 57:22
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's, I want to take a quick break to thank our sponsor, perfect sports. These guys are always keeping things fresh and being creative with their flavor options. Their newest flavor of diesel whey protein isolate is no different. Inspired by the fall season, perfect has come out with a limited edition, Pumpkin Spice Latte flavored protein. Pumpkin Spice Latte provides a spicy and savory aromatic taste that can be enjoyed warmed or chilled. Remember, guys, this is a limited edition. So make sure to get your orders in soon, inventory will be going quick. As always, this new limited edition flavor provides you with the same benefits that diesel always does. It's third party tested for banned substances and is the highest quality that protein can be order yours now by heading to perfect sports.com. And using my code, rebel girl for a 20% discount. Now back to the episode. So you know I'm in a committed relationship we almost together three years. And this is the relationship that I've been able to explore the most sexually because it's just the healthiest, longest, you know. And so I'm wondering, as I hear you talk about a lot of these techniques and stuff. I'm like, can someone do this as a single individual? Or is a lot of this stuff better when you have a partner or long term partner? What's your preference on that?
Unknown Speaker 58:45
It's always a lot easier to have a partner. But if you have a partner, it's also very important to have a solo pleasuring practice. So they're they're both very important. But one of the things that I would say is that there are a lot of people who who want to have a relationship. And they're looking for the perfect person. And so they're holding themselves back from having sexual experiences because they're waiting for like Mr. Right or Mrs. Right or what have you. And I'm really a proponent of having a lot of lovers over time. Whether you do it concurrently or serially, it doesn't really matter. The single most important thing are safe sex practices. You don't want to get sexually transmitted infections, because there are long term downstream effects to getting viruses and bacterial infections, especially viral infections. And you know, you don't know what is going to show up 20 years or 30 years later from an infection that you got in your, you know, 20 years earlier. So proper STI testing before you have sex with a new partner is very inexpensive these days and very available. And so I really want to encourage people to have a lot of sexual partners and choose lovers for the fact that they turn you on that you love their body, that you want to have sex with them that there's good chemistry, and that they don't have to have, they don't have to be the be all and end all final person of your life. You can just enjoy having lovers. And so I like to make the distinction between a life partner or a boyfriend or a girlfriend and a lover. Allow yourself to have some lovers, if there's no boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever you want to call it in the picture. Yeah. But make sure you have STI tests and you get the paperwork and you read the paperwork before you have oral or intercourse. Because there's no difference between your mouth on a genital or your genitals and touching genitals. It's all the same thing, the fluids, the bacterias, etc. And most STIs there's over 20 Sexually Transmitted mites, scabies, bacterias, virus, all kinds of things. Most of them are actually skin to skin contact. And so people trick themselves, they fool themselves into thinking that a condom is going to keep them safe. When so many things like herpes are transferred skin to skin, not through semen or vaginal fluid. So I think you shouldn't be good. I think you should fuck around gloriously safely. And every lover you ever have is going to teach you things sometimes they won't be great, but most of the time, they'll be incredible. And you'll have so many fun experiences. So don't be afraid to offer yourself as a lovemaking partner. If you aren't boyfriend or girlfriend material for that person and make a lot of offers. You know, it's okay for people to say no, they're not interested they could be doing they people appreciate getting an offer. They don't handle it well, especially when they're No, it's embarrassing for them. They feel like they're rejecting you or what have you. Grow little bit of thick skin around it and take more risks, and put yourself out there and make offers and explain the boundaries of your offers. So that people understand what you're offering. Hey, I'm not you don't need my book. My boyfriend I don't need you texted me every day. I just thought it'd be I thought you'd be fun to fuck do you want to take some STI tests and spend the weekend fucking I love it. Like, that's a whole I love that man. What like norm is
Unknown Speaker 1:02:55
recording someone with the intention that this is forever because if it's not forever, why the fuck even bother with it. I have a girlfriend who is so fixated on finding her forever partner that I really feel like she's missing out on a lot of fuck opportunities. And like, you know, I have found my one I'm happy. And I kind of like want to live vicariously through her. I'm like, please go forth, have fun with your vagina. But whatever to each throne, you know, people prioritize and, you know, they find different things important. And I know, you know, she wants to find a life partner. But I think finding a life partner that you can fuck forever, and fuck well. And fuck, you know, and everybody's satisfied is extremely important as well. And so. Okay, well, I have we're getting close to the end. But I did want to touch on one last topic. A lot of my past guests that were sex experts or in the intimacy department, they've explained a little bit about dirty talk. A lot of my listeners say that their partner wants to dirty talk with them, but they feel very uncomfortable. Either they don't know how, or they don't want to the male's don't want to be too extreme and scare the female away. So just could you touch on dirty talk and maybe some good techniques and how you can feel more comfortable. Any suggestions at all?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:18
Well, of course, I've written a book about that, too.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:21
Okay, perfect. And this is why you are the intimacy expert to millions.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:26
Well, when you get to be Mark,
Unknown Speaker 1:04:29
I just want to say I'm not hitting on you, but you look fucking awesome. I've seen some pictures. You look more in shape now than any of you like, you look great. You look fucking great. Susan, I just want to tell you that and so you also are literally enriching the lives. You know of anyone who hears you talk like thank you so much for the work that you do. I appreciate it.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:50
You are so sweet. I really appreciate you. Yeah, dirty talk. book.com is where it is. And there's six ways to talk dirty without feeling weird. Are and most of them. You know, some of them some of the when people think about dirty talk, they think about kind of like, You're a dirty little slot. kind of stuff. Yeah. And there's a time and a place for that for sure. Yep. But there's such a wide variety of other ways to talk dirty. And I like to think about it as sensual talk, sexy talk, ad or ration, noticing encouragement, approval. These are different words that really give you like, wow, there's a lot more facets to dirty talk than I was thinking about. women really like to be encouraged to come. Yeah. And men really like being respected for a job well done.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:50
Sorry, just our nature. It does. It does. And I'm not laughing in the sense that that's funny. But you know, it's just it's so basic when you break it down to you know, what went men and what women want, because it's really very, very different. But we go into sex and love and romance thinking that our partner wants exactly what we want, but sometimes they want the exact opposite. So funny.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:15
Yeah, it's um, it's mostly our dominant hormone influencing our desires. So for women being estrogen forward and men being testosterone forward, testosterone wants to know it's doing a good job and estrogen wants to make sure that it's safe. It's our natural protection, so we need a lot of encouragement. Another thing that I really like is Yoni and lingam adoration. So the Yoni being the vulva, the lingam being the penis, these are tantric words for the genitals. And when you adore your partners COC, for example, baby, your COC is so beautiful to me. I love that little left angle, it feels so good when you stuffed that thing in me. It's just the right thickness and length. I love the color. You know you're circumcised and I really liked the way it looks here. It's so your cock, so beautiful, the head is so glistening and shiny. And honestly, when I look at your cock, it makes my mouth water. And your balls are beautiful, too. I love how they're just like just the right size for your deck. And you look so good standing there in front of me with your tan and your white teeth and your beautiful caulk. And I think about it a lot when you're not with me and how I just want to suck it and fuck it and ride it all the time. And I love it when you come inside me. I love our essences mingling. And I love feeling you completely surrender to your pleasure. You know, whatever. I'm just
Unknown Speaker 1:07:46
amazing. I'm like, I'll have sex with you Susan. Like, wow, that was amazing. So descriptive. You got every single part You didn't forget about the balls like wow, this is great. It's good stuff. Okay, was so good.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:02
And it's the same for women. We want to know how our bowl this little baby your yeah, see so beautiful to me. You know right now, it's just pink and pretty. And I love that shiny, glistening tissue and I see your little clit she just peeking out the tiniest bit and I'm going to stroke it and lick it and suck it until it's just poppin until you've got the biggest clear direction until those labia are just filled with blood. And they're like big soft pads and I'm just going to slide my cock and and fuck you so well. That pretty little proceeds gonna be mine. You know, whatever.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:38
Wow. Hold on. Yeah, that's just, like, it's so descriptive. And like, you know, it's so sweet. It's so any automatically. I thought about my own insecurities, you know, and I feel like it's obviously very important to know, well, if you're in a relationship, you know, you obviously probably know your partner's insecurities. Maybe you don't maybe you need to specifically ask them because then you can focus on what they're insecure about and make them feel beautiful about it, whether it's their labia, your their lips, you know, whatever it is, you know, they're, you know, they're tough me, I'm like super insecure about my core, you know, so like, if my partner literally just started complimenting me like, it's crazy. Like, we don't think about this, we just, you know, fuck me. You know, like, that's not, you know, that's dirty talk, I guess. But there's such another level to it like an eloquent level to it. In practice
Unknown Speaker 1:09:33
makes perfect with that. Yes, well, it really takes six oops, I lost my lawyer but it takes like six months, at a minimum for lovers to start really getting comfortable with each other. I mean, even if you're making love quite a few times a week, and very few people are actually making love that often. And so it just takes time to get comfortable and a lot of women Do I really want to know I smell good. And I taste good? Oh, that's important to women. Yeah. So I would say if you're with a Volvo owner, make sure you you say those things to her too, that is super helpful for women. But just generally, that those are just a another big one that I talk a lot about is moaning. A lot of people are very quiet during sex. And it's so much better when it's literally the louder it is, the better it is, the more you make noise, the easier it gets to make noise. And then your partner gets way more feedback. And then they know where you are. And kind of your, you know, your orgasms. And they, they can tell what you're liking and, and sometimes you also have the permission to just go completely silent. And just lay there and receive and go off into that orgasmic outer space. But there are other times when it is really helpful for your partner when you're like when they're going down on you, and you are moaning. But what I say to people is never force it. Unless you're in an active practice session where you'd like to do it, I'm really going to make a lot of noise and moan. And I'm going to practice doing that. So I get more comfortable at it. That's great. But don't fake anything. Always have it come from your true essential experience. Because if if you're faking things, then your partner isn't really clued into your actual state and they can't get better you're robbing them of the ability to get to be a better lover for you. So it's kind of a little bit of a it's that becoming unconsciously competent thing where you have to learn how to do it. And then pretty soon it's second nature, and that's how dirty talk is to it first. It's like okay, you'll say some shit and you just bust out laughing. But it's it's the trying and failing that are memorable. Remember that time when we broke the bed? Remember that time when you're worried in my face? You got all those? Remember that time when ah you out? I didn't know you had your period. blood running down my face. And you were so embarrassed. Yeah, I didn't care, babe. It was fine with me. Whatever it is, those moments are as important in building and deepening intimacy, as are the times when everything goes well. Yeah. And so it's just like, put your what's what's the bottom line of this entire conversation? I think for us today, actually, it's been put yourself out there. Yeah, yeah, in so many ways with your sexuality because the payback is enormous.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:47
And sex is just like a sports in that way where it's like, you're not going to be great at first, you could it's going to take a lot of practice, you know, you're going to have different partners and teammates. And you may even have a coach along the way. And, you know, eventually you're gonna be a champion. So guys, if you're not following us to the UFC fight pass platform. This is the time where I usually ask Susan where we can find you on all of your social media handles on your website. I will always include all of those links in the Episode Notes. But for our listeners, Susan, you want to give us some of your handles and all that.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:25
Sure. I am mostly to be found on Instagram, by my name and on only fans by my name at Susan Bratton s USA En br Atton Susan Bratton. And if you Google that all roads lead to me you'll find me there is an environmental expert out there who is very, very sad. But at least she's an environmental expert.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:52
Yeah, it's very cool. Okay, guys, we'll all those episodes, links will be in the show notes. Susan, now is the time where unfortunately, we're going to switch over to the UFC fight pass platform for the fan questions and not everyone switches with us. But do you have a recommendation or a suggestion for someone you might like to hear on the show on sex and violence rebel girl? Oh, gosh, could be another expert. It could be an athlete, anyone?
Unknown Speaker 1:14:22
Well, I was interested in that guy. That guy that just won the big CrossFit championships. I forget his name. I saw him on inside hook and I was I sent it to Ben Greenfield and I'm like, they inside hook wrote this article about all the stuff he eats before he carries all those big sand bags and things. Yeah, and I thought I said to Ben, I wonder I wonder what how much better that dude would be if he didn't eat like Fettuccine Alfredo.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:53
Yeah, yeah, really interest. What just didn't matter? Yes.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:59
Just stay Think that's it madeiros? Yeah. Yep.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:03
Okay, well child check him out. Yeah, you know, so you said earlier really a little light bulb went off. I'm always talking to primarily females on this show. It's always athletes and we're always saying how especially the women we just feel so much more sexual and we know part of that is because we have elevated testosterone. Yeah, as females, but another thing that made sense, you said okay, now when you can literally connect your genitals you know, like, Let make the muscles in your genitals fire by like, you know, thinking and being in tune with them. Athletes are the most in tune with their body so it makes so much more sense that of course men and women athletes are more in tune with you know, kind of, you know, like I can fire my muscles I feel like better than the average person so that's probably another reason why athletes have more sex because it feels better. And how would you not want to do it more and obviously we're more competent about our bodies and stuff like that so interesting Susan.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:22
That's it guys for episode 115 with Susan Bratton, intimacy expert to millions and now I know why. She just had so much like a wealth of knowledge and you can tell that she had facts and facts and facts to back it up and say it and I'm just you know, I really want to dive into her stuff because I can tell that you know, she's She just knows her stuff. She's been doing it for a long time. Not everyone out there is the best resource but I'm so appreciative of Susan for coming on the show. I really hope you guys liked that, guys. UFC fight pass is the world's premier combat sports streaming service with over 200 Live Events the largest fight library in existence, original shows and more. Sign up for one year and get half off for a limited time at UFC fight pass.com backslash sign up next week, we are bringing on a returning guest but she is hot right now. She just won the Ultimate Fighter 30 in Las Vegas. That was a UFC Vegas 59 She's had we've had her on the show before. We're bringing back on UFC flyweight Giuliana killer Miller, and I'm excited because I really felt like she was going to win the show. But you just never know what's going to happen. It's MMA and so excited to see her win the show and I want to talk about what she's doing now what's next for her and you know, all that good stuff was going on her sex life as well. So don't forget to check out next week's episode. She's just a really cool chick. I really love her. She's made a steel and heart of gold. Also, in my opinion, check out our website like I always say every week but have you bought a shirt yet? Have you? You should sex violence with rebel girl.com is where you pick up a shirt, a hat phone case it doesn't matter. Support the show. It really really helps us out. keeps the lights on here at tomorrow kids Studio you can check out the studio at tomorrow kids on Instagram. We are on Instagram at sex and violence with rebel girl and check out our audio engineer at DJ Zol. Nick is now here he is at Air media, air media productions on Instagram. He's our editor and he'll be in town as well. And you can always support me and the show by supporting my exclusive content site. Ashley rebel girl.com It's like only fans but better. It's a fan time site. That's it guys. What do I say every week? Be kind, be grateful. But don't take shit from anyone. Talk to you next week with a new guest and more tales of sex and violence.
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