Ep.123 Phoenix Carnevale
Sex and violence with rebel girl is presented by UFC fight pass. See the best that UFC fight pass has to offer on the fight past 24/7 stream, offering a constant channel of historic fight action all day, all night. Tune in, sit back and enjoy a network created by fans for fans. Step into our world. UFC fight pass.com violence Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl presented by UFC fight pass the show that interviews top level MMA fighters and other experts in their fields about love, dating, romance, and that all too taboo subject sex. I'm your host, Ashley, rebel girl Evans-Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence. What's happening hot stuff? What is up all my naughty listeners? Okay, so I really hate to start the show with sad news. But so is life, you know, people. We lose people. And last week, I think it has been, I think it was actually last Friday. So not quite a week yet, or maybe exactly a week. Rip Anthony Rumble Johnson, we lost a real good one guys. And, you know, I wasn't super close to rumble he had. I have one really nice memory. I remember I was walking. He was walking in the hotel lobby. And I was at the bar waiting for someone to come down from their room. And he was like, had like two, like just beautiful babes on his arms, you know, and he's just like walking. And like, I didn't really know him at this point. But he came over and made it a point to stop and say what's up like Ash and say hi. And I just felt really special at that point. You know, he's just, you know, this huge name fighter. And I have a nice sweet story about cowboy Cerrone like that too. But, you know, these people that make you feel real good, regardless of their status, you know, he just felt like a really good guy. And I stayed in contact with him. I asked him to be on the podcast. When I first started the podcast, he said, Yes, but he was busy with some stuff. And then about a year later, I asked him again, but at that point, he was struggling with his own illness. And so we never got him on the show. And it makes me like sad, obviously, because I thought to myself, how beautiful would it be to have an episode where we can always go back and listen to that, you know, forever? You know, shout out to my girl Suzy, who? What episode was that? I think it's like, in the first like, first year for sure. But something like that, like in the 20s. Suzy, free time was the UFC makeup artists who, you know, I'd work with her for years, and just a beloved member of the community. She lost her battle with cancer, you know, about a year or so ago. And now we always have this episode that we can go back and listen to. I'm too much of a mushy mush to listen to it right now. Because I know I'll just bawl like a baby. But, you know, I actually tried to get Elias Theodoro, who rip passed away this last year or this this year, as well. And, yeah, we're just losing some good ones lately. And so what do I always say? Just, you know, what can you do besides tell the people you love? You know, you love them more, and show some appreciation for the people that you have in your life, guys. But yeah, we remember Anthony Johnson today. And yeah, I have a lot of friends that are also close to him as well. So a lot of my friends are affected and if you guys knew him in any way, or you're saddened by his loss, you know, my condolences to you guys as well to talk about
Unknown Speaker 4:12
the rest of the week, if you guys were you guys are consistent listeners. And you know that I was talking about going and doing a photo shoot I did that in you know, actually got the news while I was out in Joshua Tree, which was God you hear something like that, and I just instantly get grateful for the life that I still have left. You know, it puts everything in perspective as well. And I had a fun weekend for sure. And you guys can check out those photos on my website. It's called Ashley rebel girl.com. I not going to tell you guys who I did the photoshoot with but if you guys are subscriber on that platform, you can go I think today Today you will be able to go and check all those out. And some other cool things I have going on this week tomorrow actually Saturdays and see if you guys are listening During the day this comes out. It's Friday. So tomorrow, Saturday, November 19. Up next fighting at the Commerce Casino, it's actually up next fighting number three. It's their third professional event. And there's going to be a title fight. It's a flyweight title. So they're counting the first other first ever U N F, title phi. And I believe the last time we checked, it was Gilbert Nakatani vs. Jesse, row sauce to local fighters. So come check that out if you are local. Up next fighting.com. I know general admission tickets are sold out. But if you guys want to get a table or something like that, I think you'd still do that. And one thing I wanted to bring up, it's kind of just a random thing. But I feel like we should spread more love in our lives, right. And a little thing that happened to me at training yesterday, I was in the gym, and I was gonna wrestle yesterday was my first day back to live wrestling, I'm doing good except for the fact that I can't turn my neck to the right right now. So just beat up normal wear and tear. And I'm just so excited to be back in the room. And, you know, it's been about two years since I've really trained like a fighter, you know, and I actually have like a bruise on my chest right now looks all tacky, and I'm sore. I can't turn my neck. But I'm like, the happiest I've ever been. I actually feel like a fighter and I feel beat up and I feel sore. And I love it. I know, it's weird, but that's just part of this crazy profession. And so, I go in there and I'm a little bit nervous, because even though wrestling is my bread and butter, you know, you got a lot of younger hungry people in the room fucking 35 You get girls and guys in there that are, you know, super young and I was just a little nervous about how it was gonna go. It went great. And then at the end of practice, one of my teammates shout out to Tristan, he actually came up and was like, hey, Ash, because my wrestling coach Kenny Bolte Johnson, he's a funny motherfucker, he's always teasing and like breaking my balls type situation. And he was joking about this podcast, and in a good way. And Tristan came up after practice, and was like, Hey, I just want to say, I see what you've been doing on the mat off the mat. And I just want to say, keep doing what you're doing, you're really killing it. And, you know, I know, I'm a big bush ball, but that just meant so fucking much to me, that, you know, and I'm not super close with this guy. I haven't seen him in a long time, he's been doing his own thing. He's back in the gym, now I'm back in the gym. But one of the first things he says was like, a super positive, you know, like, appreciate appreciative, like, type comment. And I'm like, that's the kind of like, you know, vibe and environment that I want to be a part of, and I just thought, like, I'm going to bring that up on the podcast, you know, because if you just spread that kind of love, I know, it's mostly mushy guys, but like, he made me feel good. And so I'm like, Man, I'm gonna be sure to make somebody else feel good. You know, sometimes we have these thoughts, like, man, that person's technique looks really good. Or they, you know, he or she looks good today. And you just don't say it. I just think we should say it more often. And it felt really good. So that's my little mushy rant, you know, spread more love guys, even in the combat sports. And then yeah, I'm actually going to start talking to you guys a little bit about a new stem cell place that I'm going to be basically trying out in January, January 29, somewhere around there, at the end of January, I'm going to Columbia. And I'm going to be getting stem cells from bio accelerator. They're just at bio accelerator on Instagram, super cool place extremely professional, I will be giving you kind of like an update as things happen. You guys are probably thinking, Wait, you're getting stem cells. But you said you're back to training. Yeah, that's because I've been training as much as possible, but my body seems to have a little bit of nerve pain still. So you know, what can I do? I gotta give it as much as I can. And then you know, when I start to feel pain, I pull back a little bit, but I guess that's just what happens to your body when you get a little bit older and still want to do a sport where you literally have to beat the shit out of your body. So I'm gonna keep you guys updated with those stem cells now because I feel like you care so much about my journey. But I'm a firm believer in stem cells. I got stem cells from CPI cellular Performance Institute down in Tijuana, amazing facility. I couldn't, you know, speak higher enough about them, you know, but I'm trying out another place because I gotta do what's best for my body. And I'm just gonna give you guys a little bit update because I know a lot of you guys are probably suffering from whether you're an athlete or maybe you sit at your desk and your lower back is fucked up. Or you got your old football injury or you know, I don't know you always had a wonky foot something. Stem cells seemed like the way to go as opposed to surgery. So and then And lastly, before we get to our guest, I want to remind you guys that if there's anyone out there listening, and you just love this fucking podcast and you want to help us out, and you have any experience in marketing, or yeah, just really like marketing, I think would be the best background to have because you would be a sex and violence intern, which obviously, in turn means no money. So don't ask for it because I Ain't Got it. But I can pay you in other ways. And that would be you know, working one on one and maybe we could collaborate on social media and stuff like that. So send your doesn't have to be a resume, but like, you know, your qualifications, if you will, either to our email, which is sex and violence. firstname.lastname@example.org. Or you can just DM us that works as well. As always telling me like, Ashley, nobody emails anymore. And I'm like, Yeah, you're probably right. So if you guys just want to send some of your qualifications to the DM, that's okay, as well. And that's about it. Guys. Be sure to share this podcast I tell you every week but how many of you have have really done that? Just like share? It doesn't have to be to your mom, your mom doesn't want to hear about a sex podcast, but send it to your buddy send it to your brothers and into your sister, whatever send to your coach who knows. All right guys, let's talk about our guest. Today's guest is an internationally recognized media personality. cageside reporter, martial artist, commentator, fitness professional and actress. She's been featured on Showtime sports access TV fights UFC, unfiltered CNN, MTV, ESPN, Spike TV and Fox. Her fight commentary has extended to both color and play by play coverage for several promotions around the world. As a martial artist, she trained with Muay Thai legend Arjaan Phil nurse and has experience and training Brazilian jujitsu karate and Western boxing. A strong advocate for health and fitness. A certified trainer who frequently appears on multiple fitness platforms such as daily burn 3365 The Weight Watchers and TRX Training Club we talk about working with Flavor Flav and kid and play nerd love. Star Wars convention first date training with a partner proven to help bonding used panties for 20,000 DJ songs dating a magician Doves Cry, the sex hangover, Puerto Rican and Italian Catholic as fuck needing to be loved versus feeling loved to have sex sexual bucket list international booty James Bond fantasies breaking the fart barrier in a relationship and so much more. Here's your guest, Phoenix Karna Valley.
Unknown Speaker 13:14
All right, we're here with Phoenix. Karna Valley. I say it right. All right. I was saying it wrong. And then we spoke the other day and I'm like, Man, do people mess up your name a lot.
Unknown Speaker 13:24
Yeah, but you know, it works. If you say Carnivale or corny Valley. You know, it's like tomato tomahto swan. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 13:29
shit. I like it sounds like the perfect name for what you do. Commentator occasionally. Reporter fitness professional like sounds like a cool and then actress. It sounds like a like, just famous person's name. I love it. Phoenix. Karina,
Unknown Speaker 13:43
I'll take it. I'll take it.
Unknown Speaker 13:45
Someone told me that one time about my hyphenated name. They're like, Ooh, that sounds like a famous person's name. I'm like, All right, I'll take it. So I gave you a little spiel. Right before we got on all your accolades. You know, very talented. I told people, you're basically doing a lot of stuff that I want to do when I finish up my fight career, or maybe, you know, dip my toe in the water right now. So I'm in awe of you, girl. I'm very, very impressed. And I want to know all about your professional career. And then later, we'll start talking about the juicy stuff. You know,
Unknown Speaker 14:17
the fun stuff. Yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited for that. I mean, I've always loved martial arts actually didn't start training till I was in my 20s, which is pretty late, you know, for most people. But I started like as a kid watching Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan and Ninja Turtles and John Claude Van Damme and the through line for everything that I do, whether it be fitness, martial arts, or acting is good storytelling. Because if you think about the stuff that makes us really excited, even as athletes, it's those training montages in the movies. It's the build up to the fight and how fricking hard we work. It's like great storytelling, great experiences. Each fight camp is in adventure for us each. Even if you're on the front end as terms of being a broadcaster, on the back end being a fighter or in a coach, like, it's literally a little mini movie every single time. So with acting and storytelling with fitness, it's storytelling to because to get any results, it's consistency from day to day. You know, so I just always like a good story that inspires me or who other anybody who's watching,
Unknown Speaker 15:27
I love that actually, when I smoke a little marijuana, especially I will smoke and then I'm always like, my life is a movie, and I am the character, and I am the superhero. And I'm always like, and then and then I get very introspective. And I'm like everybody else. They're the main character, you know, and it's like, you get a little bit more grateful. It's like, Man, I think sometimes we get in, I get in tunnel vision. And then when you step outside, and you realize, you know, they're the main character, you know, they're the main character, you get a lot more empathetic for other people's movie, I
Unknown Speaker 16:00
think, for sure. And it teaches you when you're going to be co starring and when you're going to be starring. So it makes you less of the selfish person. In moments, you're like, This is your moment. And if you're that good sidekick, or costar to one of your friends when they greatly need it. I mean, that's what makes powerful relationships as well. You know, I just love if I thought of my life as a movie, it would totally be an action comedy, you know? Yeah. For sure, you know, and those are my favorite movies. So it's, I guess it's all how you look at it.
Unknown Speaker 16:33
Mine's an action comedy, but it's in the naughty X X x section. They're like, what is this action? Oh, that's why.
Unknown Speaker 16:41
Nice. Nice. Got them in the back first, we all love a little a little of that.
Unknown Speaker 16:46
So what are you doing professionally at the moment? I know, life you know, a lot of people like you, me like we wear a lot of hats, right? But is there one thing that you're focusing on commentating? cageside reporting acting.
Unknown Speaker 16:59
I do a little bit of everything and kind of honestly, MMA has been pretty dry lately. Once access TV shut down and they they LFA moved over to fight pass. They just use two commentators or they're kind of a conveyor belt for the UFC as commentators now so the UFC has commentators get good practice through the LFA, which is very, very smart for them. You know what I mean? It sucks for me, but it's very smart for them. And so I've been freelancing here and there. I got to work with Showtime. I did this weird, insane, but very funny ass story. Celebrity boxing, which was like sea level celebrities. So it's like me and fucking Flavor Flav. So that was a great flavor. Word and like an allergy sure was fighting. And he was being coached by Roy Jones Jr. I was like, I feel like it's my my weird dreams that I've had after way too much edibles. That was a reality.
Unknown Speaker 17:58
Yeah, that's that scene of your life was like the scene in the movie that people are watching them like this would never happen in real life. But it really did.
Unknown Speaker 18:07
Yeah, Flavor Flav. And then, and then like, get in play, we're performing. I'm just like, I just am in a time warp. And also working. It was so strange. But you do these jobs, you know, especially as your commentary, as you know, is a perishable skill. So if anybody wants to get in it, do not be afraid to do regional shows. You're not You're not going to make it to the big leagues, like when I did major stuff with Showtime or the LFA or any of that stuff, unless you do those regional shows those regional kickboxing shows. They're all so valuable, especially when shit falls apart. You don't really mean when it falls apart, and you're like, how do I handle this? That's what preps you for everything else in the world. So right now I'm of course looking for the do commentary with any of either regional or bigger shows, because you have to maintain your skill set. And plus, it is so awesome. Like my favorite thing about D S and the LFA was I'm meeting the stars before their stars. Yeah, yeah. Because every single person that was became an LFA champion has gone into the UFC and a lot of them have become UFC champions or contenders. So I'm like, I knew you when you know what I mean. I knew you when you had 10 fights and whatnot and you build these great rapport and relationships with people so it I really enjoy those regional shows and those main shows because it's, it's where you get to watch people just become great where greatness happens.
Unknown Speaker 19:42
You know, it's it's interesting that you say that because I just started my little, you know, dipping my toe into the water with AppNexus fighting a local show here. And there's just one guy specifically that I was thinking about that whole process. I'm like, man, he made his pro debut got an 11 Second knockout. Shout out to Deion West Side young. I think local fighter Yeah. And he's just like killing it right now. And I'm like, Man, I wonder if like, there'll be footage of me interviewing him, but like maybe he either him or another you UNF fighter makes it to the UFC one day. And I was thinking about that, too. Like, it's a story, like you said, like, you know, we'll put in that first clip. And then we'll someday when he's, you know, in the UFC, or maybe a champion, and it's just, it tells a story of the journey. So that's interesting. You
Unknown Speaker 20:27
say that? Yeah, so I love doing that. And, you know, I'm always acting, I'm always doing three or four self tapes a week, I don't think a lot of people realize how much goes into acting and rehearsing and, and auditioning, auditioning is such a big deal, especially now. And in most of it is at home self tapes, I changed my clothes, like three times a day and become like three or four different people a week. And, you know, that's always fun. And then then I work in fitness to make money. And that's a huge hospital to and you just do a lot of different things until commentary is your main job, which it was when I was with the LFA, and ces or whatever was my main job. But I'm fortunate enough to have a lot of other skills while you're, you know, this is not a really, really stable career. Unless you're like DC erotic, you know what I mean? That's just kind of
Unknown Speaker 21:18
the way it is. And you know, you're like you said, you're very fortunate that all these things that you're multitalented in are adjacent to each other. So it's not like you're mixing cement on the weekends, and then go into your LFA job, you know, everything kind of makes you a little bit better. And even the fitness professional, it's like maybe it's not directly related or directly, you know, aligned with MMA, but you you're staying in shape. I know if you're doing those workout videos, like that's strenuous, right, take after take.
Unknown Speaker 21:47
It's a lot, but it teaches you public speaking, because I know this is weird, but how I've trained myself to do it is all run on the treadmill while rapping to Eminem. And you find places to breathe and how to enunciate as you're like, out of breath, or, and how to like find breath control. So it's because you when you teach and you're teaching Fitness on camera, you have to speak if the talk time, you know, so that those are types of types of things. And really, I've helped to be an ambassador of martial arts to a lot of people who, when they see martial arts, all they see is the violence of it. Yeah. Or they think of fighters is just these violent people. And that's like, so you and I both know, it's so not the case. There's there's just so much depth to us in so many different ways. We like the violence too. But that was a whole nother you know, that's a whole other part of the world as well. But yeah, so I do feel like I am a gateway drug for a lot of people who are afraid to get into martial arts. And then they're like, Oh, this is kind of cool. I
Unknown Speaker 22:48
want to do it. I can see that, you know, as opposed to someone like me, they're like, Oh, she looks like she belongs in martial arts. They probably talk to you and they're like, oh, this sweet look, you know, beautiful lady. And then you're like, let me tell you about ground and pound. You're like oh judgments. What is your favorite sport to commentate? You know, you said you did a little bit of the kickboxing I know you've done boxing like is MMA, your favorite.
Unknown Speaker 23:15
MMA is definitely my favorite in terms of if I'm doing play by play. Or if I'm doing reporting, or case reporting or anything like that, or if I'm, you know, just doing commentary or opinion pieces on on MMA fighting or any of that. To do color. I really enjoy kickboxing because I feel like I feel the strongest there in color commentary. But I don't have a strong enough background in grappling to feel confident doing color commentary for like jujitsu or for MMA. So that's where I would let like an expert at actual experts, somebody you know, who's purple belt or above, should definitely do commentary for color commentary for that. So like, a lot of people don't realize that each commentator has a specific role that they play. They're not all talking about the fight in the same way. We're we'll use anak for example. Anak is basically, he's the skeleton, he's the foundation of what's going to happen. He's going to lead you in from commercial, he's going to lead you out of commercial, he's going to tell you your sponsors are E is the play by play guy. Now the color guys, they're telling you what's happening in the fight, they might tell you a little bit of background. Everybody has history on the fighters, especially if they do their jobs, and they all do their jobs very, very well. And IQ is gold standard. Let's just Let's just whatever you can fight me on that. And, and like each person has a different position that they play the roving reporter Your job is to know what the hell is going on backstage. If somebody's injured report what's going on with them? Give me some background or details on what's going to happen right before the fight. Do the interviews with them. mood in the arena, like all of those type of things. So each of these people, we kind of orbit around each other. And that's what makes for a really good show.
Unknown Speaker 25:08
Wow. Yeah, you know, you're right. Like, I didn't even think to break that down. Because in my fighter brain, I'm like, everybody knows how it's done the color the play by play, but, you know, I'm sure a lot of people listening, you're right. They think that there's just three people in there talking about the fight. That's it.
Unknown Speaker 25:21
No, that's very specific. Like, they'll be somebody will be in your ear. And you'll know like, who's next? Okay, they're going to do, they're going to show the replay. So there's a specific person who's going to break down the replay so that we don't all don't step on each other. Yeah, you can interject here and there, which makes the burden normal conversation, but there's a producer in your ear saying replays, replays coming, showing you the replay of the elbow. And you know, what's coming so that, you know, you know, what you say with like, all of the team works together in such a beautiful way, when you've got like a good production set together.
Unknown Speaker 25:56
Yeah, the UFC is obviously the gold standard. And I think a lot of the smaller but major promotions, like Bellator, LFA, PFL, they probably do the exact same thing. UNF does, pretty much exactly the same, you know, it's only the third professional show. So I feel like, you know, I'll say we're, we're still finding our footing and, you know, getting the rhythm down, but yeah, it's all essentially the same. So do you have anything on the books right now, acting wise, are just a lot of auditioning at the moment,
Unknown Speaker 26:27
a lot of auditioning, and I'm just came up with a proof of concept for something that I can't share. But it's, it's, it lives in like the pop culture, fitness space. So hopefully, that'll come out within the next three to six months. And, and just things like that. And again, I'm like, always working on building my brand and creating my own stuff as well. Like, I think by 2023, I'll probably start to create more content and put a lot more stuff out there.
Unknown Speaker 26:57
Well, you seem like you're doing a lot of things and staying busy. Is there anything that you wish you could tell yourself back then that you know, now?
Unknown Speaker 27:08
I just would have started earlier? Really? Yeah, I just would have started earlier, I, I fell into this, I wasn't like, I want to be a fight commentator. You know, I had no clue that this was what I was gonna get into. I was just good at it. And it kind of fell into my lap. And then I really, really pushed. And then you know, it's, it's the type of thing that it's, there's like 10 jobs. And in order to get a job, someone has to die or get fired. There's like not, there's very a handful of promotions. And it's just it's very difficult thing. But the sports space and the commentary space is such a dope, world. It's such a great, great world. So I really do wish I would have started earlier.
Unknown Speaker 27:53
Yeah, for sure. The day that doesn't help me at all. I'm already old, but
Unknown Speaker 27:58
and you're not. You're not like as old as you think you are. It's just like I say that just so I would feel in my head that I had more time. Yeah, you know, sorry. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 28:08
I love it. Yeah. And this is not, you know, I'm not trying to lead anything, but because I'm experienced so much support and help. But I was wondering because you've been in it so much longer. Have you experienced any sexism because you're a female trying to get into a primarily male dominated industry?
Unknown Speaker 28:26
Here's, here's, here's a couple of things about that. I have to say, I think in some instances, men deserve the shit that we talk about them. But they also deserve a lot of accolades, too. Because in my career, men have been awesome. I've had more guys be like, Yo, she really knows her stuff, like hook her up, or do you want to come on my show and all that type of stuff. So I've had really great experiences with my male co workers. I don't get hit on I don't get bothered I don't I don't get me to that. I've haven't really had to deal with any of that. Bands can be jerks sometimes. Because like they're, you know how it gets times. What does really bother me is that it's like old sitcoms, where there's only one chick. It's like the boys club. And then there could there can be only one chick. Yeah. And I hate that because I usually I'm not the girl who hates other girls. I have a lot of chemistry with other girls. I have a lot of camaraderie with other girls. So I wish I could kind of work with more girls. I mean, I literally have been on sets where I am the only girl like that's it. There's no women in audio. There's no women in production, there's no women. And it's like, okay, you know, it's cool to be a part of the boys club, but that kind of sucks. That means like, where are we then? For sure. No, instead of being in competition with the other girls that are involved with MMA, like why can I work with them? Why can't I co host with them? We were gonna get along we're gonna have like you do this show. Girls talk about stuff guys are probably like oh, just to eavesdrop on a girl's perspective, kind of awesome. So I feel like that bothers me. It's like, oh, we can only have one chick per show or whatever. And, and that kind of, I just wish it wasn't that like that. And then when we try to pit us against each other, like people will call me and be like, Oh, I don't like this girl who's in the UFC. She's not that good. Or she doesn't. I'm like, first of all, it's not her job. Her job is to interview is not to say her opinion. You know, that's she's doing great at her job. And then, you know, or they'll compare me to the other person and be like, you're better than her. And I'm like, I don't, first of all, I'm not. She's more like a brown belt. She's way more experienced than me. And secondly, why do you have to compare us? Wouldn't we be awesome? together as a team working, you know, or, because I'm the only girl I never have girls to learn from? I've never had a girl mentor me in the MMA space, in the fitness space. And in other jobs. I've been lucky to have dope ass bosses that are women that kind of pick women up, but I, you know, it's just kind of, well, you know, I felt a little on my own. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 31:09
I think, you know, definitely. What does it say about my, my expectations or standards, but I'm like, well, at least we're not getting discriminated like, blatantly outright, like, I do feel like there's opportunities. It's just kind of like females and fighting, I feel like it's not as large of a talent pool or, you know, there's not a lot of depth there. So maybe in the future as the sport grows, and women are in the sport more, and you're trailblazing the way for females like me who can finish up the sport and still stay in the mixed martial arts community. Like you're, you're doing everything right. And most likely, you know, in the next five to 10 years, there's going to be a buttload more women, and hopefully, we'll be co hosting next to each other someday.
Unknown Speaker 31:50
But yeah, that I mean, I think too, for me, personally, I would like I would really enjoy that.
Unknown Speaker 31:54
Yeah, that would be awesome. So I'm gonna get straight into the good stuff. I want to know all your personal stuff. How do you identify sexually? And then also, what is your dating status? Are you single, married in a relationship?
Unknown Speaker 32:09
I am straight. And I've been in a relationship with same dude for seven years now. All the
Unknown Speaker 32:15
guys are boo. Yeah. So I'm excited for you. I'm happy. Seven years, I hear that and I'm like, what is the magic recipe? You know, cuz I'm so impressed by that. Because life is hard. And then you stick to people, you know, hey, you do hard life, you do the, you know, life hard. It's just it's so intense. I'm so happy. Actually, next week will be three years with my guy. And you know, that's a long fucking time for me. So how do you make it work?
Unknown Speaker 32:49
The trick is to not take each other for granted. Because most of the time, because we get conditioned by anything that we do all the time, we can look past it and take it for granted. And when you take things for granted, it's not as exciting. And that that's the whole thing. It's it really comes down to listening to each other. And using a lot of the things that we use in fighting, like, for example, men are not good at listening for long periods of time. They're not so as women if we want to get our point across, you got to make it like Twitter, like 140 calories. Like just say, thank you think about it. When you fight you got 60 seconds to tell somebody what to do to move on to the next round. Because after 60 seconds, they stop listening to us.
Unknown Speaker 33:37
I love that you compare it to like a relationship to corner man advice. All right, I'm gonna give you this advice. This is how it's gonna go down.
Unknown Speaker 33:44
Listen a little bit easier because they they just can't focus for as long as we can.
Unknown Speaker 33:51
I have literally seen my partner like listening intently. And I'm telling him like he's getting it and then like, you know, we can over explain or maybe reiterate a little bit too much. And you see their eyes just like glaze over and you're like, Oh, I lost him. I lost him. Okay, come back.
Unknown Speaker 34:05
That's just how it is. It's like you can't blame the machine for that's how the way it works. You just have to, you have to systematically plan how you're going to say stuff. I love that. Yeah, no, because women and it's hard for us because we're not satisfied. He'll say to me, like why do you say the same thing over and over again? I'm like, because I was unsatisfied with your answers to the previous times. I've said
Unknown Speaker 34:28
I'm looking for the right answer. And you keep letting me down. Come on. It's in there. Let's
Unknown Speaker 34:32
go try again.
Unknown Speaker 34:35
So what does he do and how did you guys meet initially? Was it a cute meet? Is he in the industry?
Unknown Speaker 34:42
So he's a professional stuntman.
Unknown Speaker 34:43
So badass. Yeah, we
Unknown Speaker 34:47
met at a Christmas party. He was dressed as Kylo Ren I was dressed as go yo go go Yubari from Kill Bill. So do you think Kill Bill she's got like the ball
Unknown Speaker 34:56
she I love her
Unknown Speaker 34:58
girls. So we were both villains so that we connected on that and we're both very nerdy, like Star Wars superheroes. You know, comic books were very very nerdy. So we connected on that and and went to a Star Wars costume exhibit as one of our first dates like this is straight nerd.
Unknown Speaker 35:19
Adorable nerd love story. I love it nerd love story. Yeah. Okay, so you guys met at a you said Christmas party?
Unknown Speaker 35:28
It was a Halloween party Halloween party. I'm
Unknown Speaker 35:30
so sorry. Halloween party and you guys been in for seven years? And has he been a stuntman that whole time?
Unknown Speaker 35:36
Pretty much. It's just the last four or five years is careers blown up? You know, quite a bit. He's been in a lot of major film and TV shows. And he works his ass off. I mean, fighting is hard. Stunts are really hard to I'm shocked at the stuff that he has to do. He's gonna get hit by a car. You know? Like, yeah, but like a few times, like, it's not one thing they do. Oh, do several takes
Unknown Speaker 36:03
I have the utmost respect for him. I'm gonna date myself right now. But my, you know, you have like, you know, one sentence on your MySpace and then it's like, future job all that your top 10 friends or whatever. Mine was like, I think my quote was like, peeing your pants is cool for like, Billy. Oh, yeah. And then it was like, you know, what do you want to be when you get older and I was like a stunt woman. And and so I was like, super into it. As before I got into fighting all that. And, you know, it's crazy. When stunt work. It's like I was talking to someone about this, the other day actually went to kind of like an industry party. And I met a couple stunt guys. And it's scary, because it's like, you want to be a black belt in whatever it is that you do so that you don't fucking die, you know. But if you're not, let's say you're a brown belt, you know, you're kind of good. Maybe not an expert. And then you take a job, like, how much confidence do you have that you're, you know, what do you mean? Like, it's a scary profession?
Unknown Speaker 36:56
Yeah, yeah. But I think that most of them, they're not lunatics. They're actually very calculated on how they do things. They have systems in play to make sure that they're the safest as possible. You know, so it that does put me at ease. But yeah, he works really hard.
Unknown Speaker 37:15
I can only imagine and something I asked all the fighters that I have on, because it just sometimes it's the perfect match. And sometimes it makes you guys clash, but you guys kind of are like industry adjacent, right? So you're both in entertainment, you know, and you both do things that are very physically demanding, how has that either benefited you or maybe caused some turmoil in your relationship,
Unknown Speaker 37:38
the turmoil is we don't have enough time together. And we're this weird couple where we don't fight when we're hanging out, we fight more when we don't see each other, you know, so that like, and that causes like miscommunications and misunderstanding and a little bit of like, bitterness and stuff, because you're not get, you're jumping to conclusions, because they're not there for you to work, work it out. So that causes a lot when you don't, when you don't hang out enough. And I suck on the phone. Because I'm like, I can't just talk on the phone, I gotta like do something, I need to fold laundry, I like I can't sit still. So that causes some issues. Just just not seeing each other enough. And never being able to make plans because you don't know when someone's going to book work book, a job book, a movie, or a TV show, you know, that that that's the difficult part about it. How it works is if he has a self tape audition, or I have a self tape audition, we know exactly what to do with the other person. Yeah, we also understand each other's jobs. So if I don't pick up the phone for a couple hours, he knows I'm not cheating, you know, so and just understand each other's industry. And then the other thing is, sometimes we're both exhausted. And when you're exhausted, you can't put the energy and the patient's into a relationship that it needs. So things take extra effort and extra communication. Like, I love you. I'm just tired. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so I think that that's just something that just happened with with careers that are as demanding is, I guess hours are
Unknown Speaker 39:13
for sure. And that's, that's so great that you guys can help each other out like that, because a lot of times we'll have, you know, a fighter Come on, and maybe they don't date another fighter because it's just too too much madness. But they Yeah, like myself, their coach who is like a jujitsu person so they can train together and they can share that and they understand and that's seems like what you guys have. So that's, that's beautiful. I love that.
Unknown Speaker 39:39
It's amazing to train with someone that you're with. I think that that enhances the relationship and the sex. You know what I mean? That you have this physical thing that you can do together. I hadn't Spartan like seven years right? And then I went to Pollino cruise at Spanish ahead as coach and went to his place a couple months ago, and I was like a month ago, and I got out of shape right now and I were both sparring. And on my first two rounds, I'm like, Oh, I still got it. Right, you're sparring around your boyfriend? No, I'm sparring like the other people class. And, you know, Pollino has got like some Bellator fighters. He's got some really good fighters in there. And, you know, our first two rounds, I'm like, Oh, my God, I still got it. Round three. I'm getting worked up like I'm getting my head is snapping back like a Pez dispenser. I'm getting good. So my boyfriend looks over at me, he's on the other side of the of the room. He's sparring the bigger guys. And he looks at me, and I'm like, he's like asthma, no fat. And then we get to the last, the literally the last five minutes of class and he's like, okay, 100 knees. And in my head. I'm like, I can't there's no way it's No, I'm not who I was 10 years ago, no way. But I do it to pathetically, but I do it. And then we both like look at each other at the end of this class. And we're, like, collapsed. And we're like, racking up, you know what I mean? And it was just, and we had been having hard time in the relationship as of recently because of all the travel. And it was just a moment that brought us back together. So anybody listening, if you don't train with your significant other, you should, because there is scientific studies that prove that when you are doing something with someone and and your endorphins, and your like dopamine levels rise, it actually helps with bonding. Oh, yeah. So if you go on a roller coaster with somebody, if you go on a run with somebody, it really helps create pair bonding. Wow. So go have some fun and go train with your person, you know, and,
Unknown Speaker 41:53
yeah, it helps, I think, you know, and when you put it like that, it's like, Duh, but I, for fighters and people who see each other constantly, I think it could sometimes and I speak from personal experience, it can can have a reverse effect, because a lot of the things that we talked about initially with when you're together with someone, and maybe, yeah, I hate to say like taking you for granted, but, you know, that's essentially what it is, you know, it's like you treat each other a little bit differently. And I feel like, yeah, for some people like you, your couple or your relationship where you have, you want to spend time together like that would be really beneficial. But I have also heard that it's very hard to train with your significant other when you spend a lot of time together, in addition to everything is hanging on this training, and then how it goes because the fight so you know, to each their own? Yeah, sure, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 42:47
Because there's a lot of pressure, and I've experienced it to where you're dating that person, and they're harder on you. Or they lose their patience with you a lot faster than they would someone else. Or and you're, you know, especially I'm very anxious, I will mess up more around him than I would about around like someone else. Yeah, because for whatever reason, like I need to impress him more than I would just if I'm working with like a regular coach, you know, and it's, it's so that a lot of that stuff, angst, anxiety that that could that could come into play as
Unknown Speaker 43:23
well, for sure. And that's what happens to me, you know, I will take the full blame on how it goes for me sometimes because I feel like I can be more authentic and like I can show my emotions with my partner. But like, if I'm frustrated with the move, I usually just need to shut the fuck up and keep doing the move. As opposed to like, I'm not getting good. And I'm like complaining to my partner, and then he looks at you, like Bucha just do the move. And I'm like, but I get to cry at you. And it's not you know, so I take responsibility for that. And that's when you really got to check yourself and be like, okay, so it can be hard to separate the two sometimes.
Unknown Speaker 43:58
I 100%. Agree. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 44:00
So wondering about dating in the past, you know, you've been with your partner for seven years super happy trying to learn all your tricks of the trade because that's an accomplishment. But what about, you know, early years, your 20s Compared to your 30s? I love asking this question, because we all thought we had it fucking figured out in our 20s Won't I really do. I really thought I did. And then I get to my 30s halfway through my 30s now and I'm like, Wow, what a shitshow the 20s
Unknown Speaker 44:29
I feel like in your 20s you date for the wrong reasons. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Like you let your hormones make decisions. That you're like, Why did I like this? Like if I could go back in time, I would kick my own ass now being DJs I didn't look why why. Yes. DJ. i Sorry. DJs I apologize. I had a full iPod at the time. I would collect songs from all these DJs you know what I mean, I love that I remember one DJ, I didn't date this guy, but he liked me. And he had like this crazy playlist. And he had like 20,000 songs that I wanted. And it was like all these old school stuff, like really hard to find stuff. And he was like, I'll give you I'll give you these songs if you send me a pair of your use panties. Whoa, so So I sent him a pair of panties that were not used as wide and said they were used,
Unknown Speaker 45:29
and I love it. Dude, as soon as you said that wanting soon as you said that, because I love music. I was like, I'd be a horror from music. Yeah, I would. iPod days, you know, that was the shit like, like, I remember downloading off Napster and what was the other one? Limewire? Yeah, no fucking DJ.
Unknown Speaker 45:54
You just ate you just stayed for the wrong reason. Like, oh, he's hot made me while he like, has terrible credit. You know what I mean? Why? Why did I remember one time I went out with a guy and he was so hot. And we get to the movie theater. And he's like, I only got $7. Stop.
Unknown Speaker 46:09
Stop. Like, what?
Unknown Speaker 46:14
So you met me got on the subway got here and just knew that I was gonna pay. And I were standing there about to get tickets. And he like, I only got $7.
Unknown Speaker 46:25
I was like, wow, did you actually go on the date?
Unknown Speaker 46:30
Yes, because he was I'm an idiot. Because we were young. No, no,
Unknown Speaker 46:33
no, you were young. Because we would look at him and be like, Well, I'll see you later, or I
Unknown Speaker 46:38
won't see. Totally. Yeah, literally, you know. And then I dated a guy who was like a musician. But he he also did magic. Oh, magic a magician. Yeah. And that that one was hilarious. Because so he was really hot. And
Unknown Speaker 46:56
he would have to be Phoenix for him to be a magician he would have to be really show.
Unknown Speaker 47:01
So I go to sleep sleep over his house, and I had sparring the next day was boxing at the time. And he because he was new to magic, he had gotten Dubs. Okay. And like, you know how Prince says Doves Cry, will Doves Cry? Okay, they make a lot of noise. So I had like, three minutes of sleep, because the stupid dumb would not stop. So I go to I was at least in the gym at the time, boxing, and I'm sparring. And I just look like shit. And my coach is like, did you get late last night? And I'm like, How did you know? And he's like, because you were horrible, right? And I just go home and he like, kicks me out. And I realized that it's not about having sex before a fight. It's about losing focus and not getting enough sleep. So that's why they don't want you to hook up because you just lose. You know what I mean? You could have doves keeping you up all night. That's
Unknown Speaker 48:00
how you dated a magician. Well, yes. She said, a musician. And I was like, he was a
Unknown Speaker 48:07
musician who did magic in his act. I swear to you. Okay. Yeah. Well, wow. Zol with the zinger.
Unknown Speaker 48:23
I don't know, that was that one was like, that was just well, like normal. boyfriends.
Unknown Speaker 48:32
That's great. Well, did you have anybody explaining? Like, I don't know what your family environment was like? And that's a super loaded question. But the reason I ask is because, you know, you had one side of the spectrum where it's like, okay, one day you're gonna get a boyfriend, and here's what sex is. And then you have like, you know, my end of the spectrum where they were like, we don't talk about that. And then you just go do your own thing. And you figure it out. Did you have any kind of guidance? No, no.
Unknown Speaker 48:59
So So I I'm half Puerto Rican, half Italian. So you can imagine how Catholic Christian that shit is. Right? So I knew nothing about like anything about you know what I mean? Like you you'd have sex ed in school. Yeah. So I like accidentally put in I think it was either my brother or my my mother's ex husbands. quarantines. Yes. And that's how I saw sex for the first time too. And I was like, This looks so painful and kind of animalistic. I thought that balls were like two separate components on the other side of the deck like knobs. Like I didn't know that it was like, I was so like, what am I Animal Planet? What am I looking at? The first time I saw it
Unknown Speaker 49:47
is disturbing. Yeah, the first especially when no one explains it to you first. I literally remember. You know, it was like VHS tape, put it in and then you kind of like you're confused and you knew like realize what's going on. It's just like Oh, poor No, take it out.
Unknown Speaker 50:03
But then you're you can't stop looking at it, you're like what? You know. And then like, when the guy ejaculates I thought that was a special effect. Like, I had no idea what was happening, you know, and luckily, I had older cousins that had explained it to me. And I was like, oh, okay, because, you know, they tell you sex is bad. And this is bad. And it's like, there's all these segments about it, and then you feel guilty. You don't know if you should, or you shouldn't. And you never know how you feel. It actually makes it really worse, especially for young girls, of course. But it was funny. Now that I look back on that I'm like,
Unknown Speaker 50:39
oh, oh, do you think that since it wasn't as talked about, you kind of were a little bit more wild in your younger years, because I feel like if you restrict anything like sex, alcohol, drugs, you know, even violence, you know, on TV, whatever it is, it seems like the kid is like, that's what I want. You know,
Unknown Speaker 50:58
it wasn't necessarily that because I've always been, like a boyfriend person. You know, it was like, you know, when I first I had a boyfriend, and we were together for a long time, and then we finally decided to do it. And you know, you're in your teens, and like, you know, like, it was later but it was still like my, my one long term boyfriend and a little bit of pressure from him. And then I was like, hoping. And I tried, like, all the mixtapes, like, let's wait a while I try all you
Unknown Speaker 51:25
tried to hold, or, like, try to be a good girl.
Unknown Speaker 51:28
I was nervous, whatever, but he didn't hear it. And so you just like grew up into it. But you do go through these things where, I mean, we're human beings, and we're normal. But if you feel like you want it, you're bad. And like all of these stigmas that you have to break free of as an adult. And, and also to, it's different for women. It's it is different for women, I know that it shouldn't be but it is it's like because of just the anatomy of it all. And most of the time, we're smaller than you like, it's, it is different. So we do need to protect ourselves in some way. And, you know, guys do try to take advantage and G and lives do much baby and there's like, you know what I mean? Like, there's a lot of that that we go through. So I do wish we would talk to our girls and create more open dialogue with them on hey, it's not that you shouldn't want this. But it's about protecting yourself because he might be a magician. Or you know what I mean? A magician actually wasn't an asshole. But,
Unknown Speaker 52:26
you know? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 52:29
you don't want to give away something that is yours. And you know what I mean? And then when you do it's like completely your choice. It's not because some ass pressured,
Unknown Speaker 52:37
for sure. And you're right. It's very different for girls that because of the the security, the fear aspect, you know, like you're both people, the boy and the girl or two girls or whatever. very vulnerable situation. But when someone is, you know, more dominant, you know, in size, it's kind of scary. You want to feel like you can trust them. And at that age. Yeah, it's, it's no wonder guys have no problem just having sex when they're young. And then girls, we got to feel like we trust the person, which is very hard to do, I think at that age,
Unknown Speaker 53:08
for sure. Yeah, I definitely think so.
Unknown Speaker 53:11
Have you ever done online dating? I know you're in this seven year relationship. And I feel like seven years ago, there was online dating but it wasn't as tinder swipe left, right? Happy as we are now.
Unknown Speaker 53:22
I can't remember what it was was like 12 years ago, or maybe four that I tried some online dating and the guy was like, literally like, well, let's meet in a parking lot. Well, well, well, red flowers, like red flag everywhere. Like, yeah, I'm a self defense instructor and you're given me example that I use in class. No. Yeah, absolutely not. So I was like, what, what? And then I forget, there was another circumstance where I got catfished so bad. Oh, and I think it was online dating. And the guy had a head that was the size of a small moon. It was the strangest thing i i don't understand if it was like a problem with how his head was so big. He should have went into you actually couldn't go into fighting because it was so easy to hit. The biggest head I'd ever seen, like an ending was conceded. So it's like you're just a symbol of yourself. Wow. That was like a horrible, horrible
Unknown Speaker 54:24
experience. So so no good experiences with online dating. No, but I have
Unknown Speaker 54:29
so many friends that got married that way so i don't i i tell people to try it. It's the way to go. Now.
Unknown Speaker 54:35
I really Yeah. Even though my partner and I met through Instagram, that's like almost a way of online dating. You know, it's an online platform. Somebody is showing you attention and that's like the catalyst of how you meet so I feel like everybody meets in some way or another through social media or online dating like it's very rare when people actually meet like Kismet or I mean, like a cute meet in person.
Unknown Speaker 55:00
Yeah, I think so too. So I think Go for it, you know? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 55:04
Is there anything that you would share with us? Because you have had a long relationship? And I want to know, especially after a while, you know, things need to be spiced up in the bedroom. Is there anything that you would suggest?
Unknown Speaker 55:18
Yeah. Especially for both parties. Don't get too comfortable doing the same thing all the time. You know, finally games, have fun. Remember that? The beauty of being in a long term relationship is that you're best friends. So you shouldn't be afraid to talk about stuff. Yeah, you know, I think when you stop talking, or when things get really, like, again, that the whole situation of taking each other for granted, my fiance put it to me in a way that literally helped me for what his needs are versus what my needs are. His needs, he was like, Phoenix, let me explain them to you guys are visual. Why do you think I have a 70 inch TV and I play video games and the pixels got to be bla bla bla, bla, bla, and I got stereo system. We need the stimulus. So I'm like, You want me to wear lingerie? thingo got he likes. You know what I mean, for us girls, if we're not feeling good about our bodies, we kind of like hi, you know, and I gained some weight. So I'm like, I'm all up in my, you know, X Men t shirt. And he's like, so, okay, so you got to dress it up a little bit. You gotta keep the grown and sexy. They like that. Yeah, that's fine. Like, thank you for telling me. You know, and then for us, I think is women. Guys. Please don't be pile drivers. Like it's this is not fun. Yeah. Learn to give a good massage Get sensual things from stuff. Yeah. Even if it's in a different language. Like, I just do something that makes it keeps it like you've got the passion. Yeah. Because men think that we're like them. We're just visual creatures. That Oh, you don't find me attractive anymore? No, I still find you attractive. You're just not stimulate in the brain. We needed up here. I read this great quote, quote that says women need love to feel to have sex. Where men have to have sex to feel loved. Oh, and it was like, yeah, yes. You know, um, wow. So how can we both like fulfill that and each other? Can you make me feel loved? So I want to have sex with you? Or and can I have sex to to show you that? I still love you. Yes. So it's like, Come on, man. Universe, why do you put these two chicken graduation, opposing views on how stuff gets done? So learn how to give a good massage. Like, just keep it just play with us flirt with us throughout the day. You know what I mean? And then we'll want you later on. Because if we've just sitting in the house all day, and then you grab me, I'm gonna be like, I'm not there right now. You know, were to them. It's just like, I like those shorts. Yeah, we don't we don't work that way. At least I don't I wish I did. But I think that that's how you keep it. You keep a relationship, especially after a period of time by knowing the others buttons and being willing to go there on both sides.
Unknown Speaker 58:23
For sure. And like you said, In the beginning, it's, it's all about telling your partner what you need. Because I think a lot of women, probably not men so much, but we are over thinkers. And so we we do that whole like I expect him to know thing, but you can't do that you're gonna get in trouble. You know, if you assume you make an asset to you, me or what however? Yes. So, and I thought even me personally, like, you know, three years next week, but I realized about six months ago, maybe even like, maybe almost a year but like less than a year ago, like two years in, I really started telling him what I wanted. But I felt comfortable before but you reach a different level of comfortability when you're in the relationship longer maybe certain people they get to that point sooner it's probably an individual thing. But for me, after about the two year mark, it was like okay, I was open before but now I can tell you fucking get down there do that, you know, and it's a whole nother, like, opens this whole door of happiness because you're really telling each other what you want. And not just sexually obviously, right, you know, hey, I'm a big crybaby. I'm like I'm the softest hard girl you'll ever meet. Yeah, what's hard on the outside soft in the middle? That's me
Unknown Speaker 59:35
with m&ms. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 59:36
You know, I'm Eminem when I fight and then I'm like, I'm you know, chocolate when it comes with my partner or whatever. Yeah, and that's like, I think one of the beautiful parts of having a long relationship but you know, it's work you know, it's not it's not going to be not so not ever gonna not be work. But what you get as each year kind of goes on. I'm like, oh, never had this. I've never had this it's like things that you don't get in just these quick little flings, which are fun.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:07
Totally, and you know, it is but you can build and develop and grow and have trust and all that all that type stuff that could make it fun. You know, I would prefer international booty. You know, when we travel, it's, there's international duty and I'm like, Oh, I could check off Spain on the list. Like I could, like, You got to have international beauty because I've traveled a lot, but it was always for work. So I didn't get enough international booty. I will make a list of places that I'd like to get some booty and and, you know, my boyfriend will go along with it. Okay, as I said, I'm going to violate you in Italy. I don't know why. But when I see Italy and like I need to, I need to, I need to get laid in Italy.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:53
Italian. Isn't that the language of love? Or am I crazy? No.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:57
I probably have whatever.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:59
Oh, French. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:01
but you know, like, it's most of my fantasies look like a James Bond film. I wanted to be in an exotic location with some type of backless dress with slit on the side. And, and espionage and car chases like That's sexy.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:16
What is something that's on your sexual bucket list that you can share with us a place I want to
Unknown Speaker 1:01:21
have a James Bond. sexual experience. I wanted to have international booty
Unknown Speaker 1:01:26
international booty. I love it.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:29
I mean, we we went to Costa Rica and there was like a volcano out of our window. Like literally, we were like there's a volcano right there. And I don't know why but it was really hot. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:40
Yeah. I'm getting that you like the danger vibe? I do. That's fun. Does that mean that you're a little bit of an exhibitionist? Like maybe the excitement of getting caught might be kind of sexy?
Unknown Speaker 1:01:53
Yeah, I kind of like I like that. I like the you know, the places like different different places and can you share with us? outfits like I'm into outfit? Oh,
Unknown Speaker 1:02:03
are you okay? Okay. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:02:05
so just well dressed like I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:08
I know that. Cosplay is big. When in the comic book. You guys said your new comic books and Star Wars. So I'm assuming that cosplay happens in the bedroom.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:18
It hasn't. But I would like it to Oh. So I didn't realize I was into this. But a couple of years ago, I was like the female Wolverine. And he was. He was Nightcrawler. And I was like, I don't know why, but I'm turned on right now. Like, do I like blue? Dude? So do I just want to see what a blue penis looks like? Like what? Why do I Why am i into Nightcrawler right now to do it. Or I just maybe I have a thing for the Marvel Universe. And I just because all of those dudes are very hot. Yeah. Like Disney was like who's hot? Let's cast him let's pass or are they hot? Just because, like, I don't know if I thought Paul Rudd was hot until he was Ant Man and now Mike ball runs really hot.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:03
You know, Paul Rudd is and I love you man. Right? Yes, Paul resonate hot, bro. Fall red is the guy that in wonder less where he's like, I'm gonna I'm gonna stick my don't get ready for this? Like, I can't look at him and not see you ready on put this all up in yo, they all obey Oh, man. Like he's
Unknown Speaker 1:03:24
be so funny. And that says it for me too.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:29
You know what got me there. Because my bucket list my like, you know, I feel like my boyfriend. You know, obviously, he's always gonna be like, No, but like, I'm like Adam Sandler. Can I want maybe and it's I get it. He's not sexy at all. But like, he makes me laugh and happy and nostalgic in a way that I'm like, I would? I would.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:47
Yeah, I get I get it. We I think we all have a few of those where you're like, not really attractive. But yet,
Unknown Speaker 1:03:55
you're doing it for me something down. There's moving?
Unknown Speaker 1:03:58
Yeah, I don't know what, I don't know what it is.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:01
You know, and you do a lot of interviews with these fighters. And, you know, obviously, my show is where they would say something like this. But have you ever been told by a fighter or combat sports athlete about a sex? Which ritual? What I mean by that is? That sounds really weird when you say it like that. But do certain fighters tell you that they abstain from sex before a fight?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:22
A lot of them do really what it's for, but it's for the reason that I was talking about earlier, which I totally understand. It's just about not losing focus. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I find this really different with men and women. So like, I'll have sex and then I'm like, I'm awake. I could clean the house. I'm like, I got I got a good 30 minutes where I'm wide awake. I want to talk I would be my fiancee is alcohol. Oh, yeah. Like,
Unknown Speaker 1:04:47
no, no, I don't think it's boys and girls because I'm like him. I'm like, if we have morning sex, which I love, because I mean, I'm a weird morning person, but it's the opposite of a cup of coffee for me. I'm like, All right. I It feels like a rainy day let's cuz cozy back into bed. I just want to cuddle you know, and I it kind of kills my natural energy when I'm like wrestling. Yeah. And it's like, damn it but you know, I know you feel me on this Phoenix Yeah, you work so goddamn hard and all these fields you train your ass off literally like beat your body up and then you get home and you're like I want to I want to fuck but I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:05:24
so tired. Yeah, you get a totally different sexual experience from morning to the evening. And I think especially because of our like schedules and training and stuff like that, like, especially I'm sure if it's a wrestling or grappling day Oh, he was like, I don't. Okay, I'm just will do it. But I'm not doing any tricks.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:42
You know what I mean? Like yesterday was my first day back to live wrestling. And I feel absolutely great man. Like, my partner told me it was like your timing is just there. And it's been nice. It's been like two years since I went hard because of all the shit, you know, spine surgery and shit that I've been going through. And right before we called it, he was like, hey, you know, you're kind of getting little tired. Like, it's first day back. Maybe just pull back. Maybe just call it you know? And I was like, no, no, I feel good. And then one one round later I have right now. I'm like looking left.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:13
Oh, yeah. You know, I
Unknown Speaker 1:06:14
got like, 1989 Batman. Yeah, Frankenstein. I can't turn my neck right now. And so last night, obviously, like, the person that I am. I'm like, Yeah, I want to have sex. But then it was like, you know, any kind of movement. I was like, oh, so I was like, alright, yeah, we're not doing it. You know, but yeah, you know, it's a hard lifestyle. And then, you know, he also trains as well. So it's a struggle. But yeah, morning says is the morning sex is the cure for me. But I just have to like, push through that. Go back to sleep notice that you don't have?
Unknown Speaker 1:06:45
No I don't I put again, that's it's just different for people, you know, you just kind of figure out, okay, how do we, you know, how do we make it work with fighters will tell me that a lot of them. abstaining has more to do with just no distractions, and being able to focus and to get to the gym on time and to do what they need to do. And then some will say, No, I do because it helped me helps me relieve stress and tension. So there's no real right or wrong answer with that. I mean, it's science does say that having sex does increase testosterone, which we need when we're training really hard, whether you're a fighter, or you're just someone who regularly exercise. So I think it's like finding the balance of when it's not taking away from your training structure than opposed to just like, you know, having some fun.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:31
Oh, yeah. And I, I tell everybody that I think a lot about the placebo effect, you know, if you truly feel like having sex fucks you up, then it's gonna fuck you up. Because you believe that and if you believe that that's beneficial, then you're going to rub one out or get it in, and you're probably going to feel better, because you know, our mind is so fucking powerful. So I just tell myself that it gives me superpowers.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:53
I think I think it relieves tension, too. Like, if we've been arguing for a while, I'm like, Yeah, we need to do it. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, like, that'll go away.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:02
I mean, I also, you know, like not, I'm no expert, but like, 123 episodes into this show. And I'm seeing a correlation between the people that say, Oh, I abstain. It's because they usually are not in a long term relationship. But the people that say, oh, yeah, I have sex. It's that that partner is not drama, that partner is a long term writer die. They don't cause drama. They're not in that early stages. So don't gotta worry about staying up late. And like, this is just me doing my research. I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:08:29
like, No, it's smart. Got it. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. But you know, it does really make a lot of sense. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:35
Is there a pet peeve that you have in the bedroom, and I always give the example anywhere from bad breath to, you know, slipping in the back door without asking, which is so rude guy. So rude. Come on.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:46
Well, that that's definitely one. I would also say. I would also say, I think it's like when it just becomes mechanical. I think that's everyone's pet peeve, of course, being being a little smelly. You know, I remember I went out with a guy this is years ago. And I faked my period because he just smelled so bad. I was like, I can't I can't today. Because he did. I was like, why would happen this way? You weren't like this. Like what? You know, I don't know who's ill like, just make sure you?
Unknown Speaker 1:09:21
Yeah, I wonder. Because you know, guys are less sensitive than we are in a lot of ways. And they care so much about sex. I wonder if in that position, you could have been like, hey, like, could you birdbath real quick or that to mean, you know, it's I feel like most guys like even though they would be hurt. They'd be like, Oh, but we could have sex after this. Okay, let me Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:44
That's so true. You know, that's like what if he like had a terrible workday? Or like, you know what I mean, like, just be considerate. If he was not the he was a jerk anyway, but like, if it was my man, I'd be like, you'll get in the shower or I'll meet you in there. You know what I mean? Like, fun and stuff like that. That's
Unknown Speaker 1:09:59
the best Yeah, the benefit of a long term relationship, you know, you're not gonna get your feelings hurt, it's like, hey, I want to bone you, but you need to, like, clean it up, clean it up.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:08
So fun thing about like, being in a long term relationship too, is you can still be a little gross and still love each other. And so like, I
Unknown Speaker 1:10:15
feel like we get grosser our relationship goes on, you know, like, I'm not a dainty like, you know, super feminine or, like, you know, I don't know, I'm not that girl at all, but like, I will always be the girl that like, I don't want to pee or go to the bathroom in front of my guy and or that thing that girls don't do far, you know, I try to keep some kind of like, you know, mystery or
Unknown Speaker 1:10:40
romance while farting is going to happen. You know, I'm saying like, I thought I could go this whole seven years without farting and it didn't.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:48
I just blamed my dog. Always. I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:10:49
like, I used to blame the dog. And then this one, I just couldn't I couldn't blame the, you know, like, I can't drink wine and eat grapes. Like I can't just impose the whole grape situation for my body is not okay, it doesn't work out. Okay, so we were dating like only a year and I had grapes and mine and it just slipped out. It was like and we all started asleep by the way. Oh, yeah. woken him himself up. Farting that hard. Anyway, so he walks in and he's like, kind of like I can't I can't lie my way out of this one. i Yeah, far doesn't. It happens and he laughed his ass off and we thought it was hilarious. He came back in and he's like, still smelling here. I'm like, No, that was a fresh one. I I think we're gonna be sleeping separate tonight. Because this is and that's the thing like if I fart and it makes noise It doesn't smell but if get the SPD is going to be bad.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:51
Yeah, so all you gentlemen listening anybody have a boner? Yeah, no, no. Okay. All right. We are moving on to the lightning six round you long term listeners probably your favorite part for you newbies. It's a lightning round of yes or no questions. Am I ready to play Phoenix? Do it alright. Lightning section with Phoenix. Do you dirty talk in bed? Yes. Spank are like to be spanked.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:27
And both biting.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:29
Unknown Speaker 1:12:32
No, no, I gotta defend it. It's
Unknown Speaker 1:12:36
yeah, you go into combat mode. Yeah, that happens. threesomes No. Do you watch porn? Sometimes? Yeah. Any kind of fetish like a foot fetish?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:49
Apparently superheroes. I. Oh, yeah. I love it. I love it. Okay, this Bond. James Bond emoji. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:12:55
yeah. The danger superhero type thing. Yeah. bond bonds
Unknown Speaker 1:13:00
more James Bond. James Bond. Okay. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:03
Bondage like ropes, blindfold or handcuffs?
Unknown Speaker 1:13:07
No, I'm highly claustrophobic.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:10
I'm claustrophobic. Yeah. freak out if you're held down.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:13
Yeah. So the magician did not get to.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:17
I don't want to be your fucking magician, your assistant magician's assistant? Well, okay, well, how about this one role playing?
Unknown Speaker 1:13:25
Yes, I think that'd be fun. Okay, all right. So James Bond, and it's like espionage, ascension.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:31
We I always ask people about this and it seems sexy, but maybe because you're an actress, you can actually stay in character, my friend zeta. She is so good at keeping a straight face. Like I was actually like, trying to mess with her the other day. I was like, like, trying to like psych her out and she just has such a good control of her emotions from acting.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:49
I had to work for the police department. I worked for the NYPD as part of the crisis intervention team and you would have to act out these scenarios to test the cops on how they would call it the takedown the takedown before the takedown. Oh, so So I would have to I would have to act like I had borderline personality disorder or schizophrenia or autism or like any of these things, so that they could handle Yes. Yeah, de escalate, handled EDPs and most emotionally disturbed people. And you would have to act this out to the cops in a complete straight face and and watch them deescalate the situation. So it was like crazy because I mean, this is off topic, but it was crazy. Because you you realize like what the police go through and you know who's good at it and who's like really?
Unknown Speaker 1:14:37
Thank you probably really make you appreciate what they do, but also scare you for who's in our legal system or justice.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:44
For them for the most part, I was impressed. I was like, wow, this is this is extremely hard job and they do deserve a lot of credit.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:50
Well, I'm just happy that there's like de escalation training going on because sometimes you hear about shit that goes down and I'm like, Could we have talked that person out? No, no. Okay, and there are obviously times where fucking weapons and you just you know it's either you were there I understand that but it's just good to know I think that all cops should be bare minimum blue belts and jujitsu 100% Probably even purple belt, you know but like it's probably asking for a lot but yeah I wish that jujitsu was implemented more into the police 100% 100%
Unknown Speaker 1:15:18
Unknown Speaker 1:15:19
side okay on to the lightning Okay how about but stuff are new or a partner getting right back?
Unknown Speaker 1:15:29
I feel like I feel like it would make me feel like I have to poop. So I've never been into it. All right.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:34
What about do you use sex toys?
Unknown Speaker 1:15:38
I haven't but I'm not I'm not opposed to it.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:41
I feel like that's something that my partner and I started doing after a couple years being together and that's just another thing that you can add in if you're like, you know, happy with your relationship a sex is getting a little boring. Add in some sex toys. It's fun. Yeah. What about ever been to a sex club or a swingers party? I have not. I have not. Yeah, yeah, it's on my bucket list as well. Lingerie lover? Yeah. All right, for your man. Hmm. What about you personally? Do you like
Unknown Speaker 1:16:08
I just love I love clothes. I just love like femininity and clothing and dressing up and like I love it.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:16
Because that's probably one of the aspects of like, out of getting out of being a professional athlete and into this like media light. Like if I have to do my makeup one more goddamn time or buy some fucking shit. That's
Unknown Speaker 1:16:29
hard. It was really hard.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:31
I'm learning I'm learning. Okay, and then last couple are ever been caught having sex or caught masturbating.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:40
Having sex? I feel like I have been I can't remember.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:43
I usually say if you don't remember you probably haven't or it wasn't that bad.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:48
It wasn't that bad. I think was one of those things. Were like, hey, no, we're good. We're good. We're just watching this film. That's like one of those. Oh, yeah, no, no, everything's cool.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:55
Yeah. Okay, awesome. Well, that's a lightning sex route. Thanks, Phoenix. That was That was great. The next two segments are a game of Fuck, Marry kill and some fan questions one marry one kill one go. I think we're done. We're done here. So okay, ready to play? Fuck. Very cool. Yeah, let's go. All right. So since you are a woman who's constantly behind the mic and multitalented I gave you behind the mic category, so you brought him up earlier he actually is on your Fuck, Marry kill you get to choose from John Anik Paul Felder and Dominick Cruz, and this is all in good fun guys. You know, like we're not trying to kill no one and you know, Phoenix's got her man. So it's just a game.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:46
Okay. I think you kill Dominick Cruz.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:49
Oh, right off the bat.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:52
You fuck Paul Felder. Okay. And you married on?
Unknown Speaker 1:17:55
Oh, you married John Anik? For sure. Mary John. You marry John.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:59
That's what I that's why I think he's always speak
Unknown Speaker 1:18:01
highly of you, John attic. And let's think about the other guys. But yeah, you're right. He is that middle glue. And actually, my partner told me the other day, he's, he's like, he'll always probably be unbiased, right? He's like the company man. And he's like for everybody. And then you get like DC who like, last week, he was brutal on some of these fighters. I was like, oh, what does he say about me?
Unknown Speaker 1:18:24
But I mean, he's speaking like, what? How he sees it? Give, you know, give me a fast. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:18:31
I love that. He's being authentic. And you know, it isn't entertainment. So it's like, it's good to have, you know, the neutral guy, the company man. And then the guy who's a little bit more spicy and it's working for them obviously. Okay, so yeah. Before we get to these fan questions, where can the people that are not going to follow us to the UFC fight pass platform where we get the exclusive content all the good juicy fan questions? Where can we find you on social media or anything else you want to promote right now?
Unknown Speaker 1:18:59
I use Instagram the most. So you can definitely find me on there. And yeah, like that's the 2023 will be a lot different. I'll have a lot more to share and a lot of more things will be going on but you can find me on Instagram is the best way to reach.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:42
That's it for episode 123 with Phoenix Karna Valley, what a cool name. It sounds like an actress's name. Or, you know, like just a movie character. I love it Phoenix kind of Valley, guys UFC fight pass is the world's premier combat sports streaming service. With over 200 live events, the largest fight library in existence, original shows and more, sign up for one year and get half off for a limited time at UFC fight pass.com backslash sign up. And next week very, very, very excited to have this guest back on. He's one of our very few returning guests. It's been over two years since I've had this guest on that means he's one of the OGS of sex and violence with rebel girl, somebody who took a chance on me he had a huge following. He's a, just a international personality. And two years ago, he said, Okay, I'll do your reading podcast. And to me that says a lot. You know, he took the time out of his day, because I guess he respected me enough to do that. And we've stayed friends this whole time. And I can't wait to talk about all the new things that he's doing. But Jason Ellis, multitalented Aussie guy, radio personality podcast host, former pro skateboarder I think he's like in the Guinness Book of World Records or something like just did some cool shit. Most recently, he's gotten into stand up comedy. I have seen him, dude, like, I guess. And like, my boy, like my boyfriend. He's like, Yeah, he's good. You know, he's maybe a little bit more rough. You know, like, it's got to work on some, you know, like, my partner has been watching stand up comedy for many, many years, you know, like going to the Comedy Store when he was very young. And, you know, I just think this guy is made for comedy. And so I'm excited to talk to him about how it's going, you know, what some of his goals are, if he's still doing, you know, I know he's still podcasting. But whatever else he's got going on. I know, he actually has Ellis mania, which he still does. And he's also got his last ever MMA fight coming up. And my boyfriend is actually his jujitsu coach. So just we're all connected. And I think it's gonna be a great episode, guys. And then this guy is always talking about, you know, some some crazy sexual stuff and his comedy is, is really good guy. So if you don't know who Jason Ellis is, you're in for Inverary don't forget to check out our website sex violence with rebel girl.com If you want to email me about fucking anything, sex and violence email@example.com And if you want to support me, for the sexy pictures and the videos and all the naughty stuff, that website is Ashley rebel girl.com. That's it, guys. Please share this podcast because you want to support us and you know, maybe you don't got 999 for a T shirt. That's okay, just share this episode. I love you guys. Thank you for all the fan questions. If you haven't gone over to the UFC fight pass platform. It's all good. I don't blame you. But you're definitely missing out on your actual fan questions being answered by the guest so special thank you to audio engineer DJ Zol at DJ Zol on Instagram, tomorrow Good studio at tomorrow kids official and you can always find us at sex and violence with rebel girl. You got to spell that whole bitch out because we're shadow bands so fuckin follow that one and our backup account at sex and violence with rebel girl with a number two, because you know there's Karen's in the world and myself at Ashley MMA. I hope you guys enjoyed this week's show. I did I learned a ton. I'm super inspired. Remember, be kind, be grateful, but don't take shit from talk to you next week with a new guest
Transcribed by https://otter.ai