Ep.126 Adaire Byerly
Sex and violence with rebel girl is presented by UFC fight pass. See the best that UFC fight pass has to offer on the fight past 24/7 stream, offering a constant channel of historic fight action all day, all night. Tune in, sit back and enjoy a network created by fans for fans. Step into our world. UFC fight pass.com violence Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl presented by UFC fight pass the show that interviews top level MMA fighters and other experts in their fields about love, dating, romance and that AlTi taboo subject sex. I'm your host, Ashley, rebel girl Evans-Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence. What's happening hot stuff, what is up my naughty listeners? We are back in the studio. I apologize for not having an episode last week. So it's been about two weeks since you heard my voice. And I know what should happens. You know, it's free content. So I guess you guys can't complain. But I do. Try to be consistent. I missed you guys. I'm very happy to be back in studio. And the last two weeks have been busy, very busy in a good way. I got a couple of fun things I want to tell you about. I was on the Steph toll off podcast. It's called the Steph infection, like staph infection, which I think is hilarious because I'm a wrestler. And it was really fun. She basically talks about what kind of issues our bodies have. So like a staph infection, you know, whatever it is, for me, you'll have to tune in. But yeah, we all have weird things that go on with our body. And I just love that. It's like a different kind of podcast. Obviously we talk about other things, not just weird body stuff. But she was a guest on the show. If you haven't heard her. If you haven't heard every single one of these podcasts, go back and listen, I think it was like five or six episodes ago, but super funny comedian. She's killing it right now in the not just the LA scene but all over. She's on Netflix, she's with Bill Burr. Check her out. I was also on the Jason Ellis podcast, I think it's just called the just the Jason Ellis podcast. And super happy to be here on his show because he's a friend and a guest of sex and violence a two time guest and so that was really fun. We talked about even weirder shit. Then what we talked about on the Steph tol of podcasts. So those both are coming out in the future, I'll try to send a link on the podcast Instagram and on my social media and all that if you guys want to check it out. And I've got big stuff coming up. I want to remind you guys that January 21 is SOS nine submission only series. I commentate that and host that with my friend zeta Zane pro wrestler, it's called the pro team duels. So instead of an individual grappling tournament for the high level grapplers that are usually there. It's a three man team. And so that's going to be kind of fun. That's going to be also at Rosewill studios one more time. It was previously there a few months back $3,000 to the team that wins and also a women's Super Fight either bantamweight or featherweight, they're looking for black belts. So if you're listening to this, and you know, a female black belt, and you're like, Hey, I know, you know, Sheila, she really wants a match, she can win some money hit up at submission only series. And that is January 21. They're looking for a Super Fight, or I think the teams might already be matched up. But if you want to be a team as well check them out at submission only series.com or again at submission only series. And then the following week, January 28. It's very exciting. The next up next fighting show, if you don't know what that is, check it out. It's a new local fire promotion that I work for. And I'm very happy to be a part of their family. They are putting on shows at the Commerce Casino. And I think the next one might be at the Hollywood exchange, but don't quote me on that I'm not positive but check them out at up next fighting.com. And the next event up next for it's gonna be a really special special show. It's like a collab show with Danny Trejo, who's basically putting on a public service announcement. It's like a charity type of event. It's called Bad meds kill real people. And what it is is just trying to bring awareness to the fact that the pharmaceutical industry Online pharmaceutical industry is not regulated. So you have people buying these meds online, and just dying and it's horrible. And you can do something, it's basically simple. It's just go to safe.pharmacy.com. And check your meds and it could be saving lives. So I'm excited to be a part of of next fighting, but also excited because this fight organization is collabing with a serious and very important issue. And I think it's just cool that we can bring awareness and kind of come together as a mixed martial arts community and help other people. And I'm happy to be a part of that kind of an organization. So check them out. Again, if you want to buy tickets. I don't think they're on sale yet, but they will be coming out very soon. Up next fighting.com. And it will be in Southern California, not sure if it's going to be at the Commerce Casino or the Hollywood exchange. But yeah, check them out, guys. That's really about it. We have an amazing guest today and the same bullshit that I remind you guys every week, I still want you to check it out. pretty pleased if you can support me on my exclusive content site. It's Ashley, rebel girl.com. That's all the naughty stuff. Like the pictures that are too sexy for Instagram and the videos that you're like, is this girl a UFC fighter or a porn star? What does she do and but you know, it's paying the bills right now. So I'm very excited. And I think it's definitely time to start talking about the fact that I will be fighting in 2023. Guys, my journey has been long. And if you've been with me on this journey since the beginning, fucking Thank you, thank you so much, you know, I don't want to talk about it, because I'll actually get all emotional. But I'm finally at the end of the tunnel, you know, I'm really, it's really going to happen. And I'm just happy that I'm still signed with the UFC and I'm still physically able got a healthy body and I have all my ducks lined up. So stay tuned, guys, I'll be headed to Colombia to get some stem cells at bio accelerator, and I just can't be happier because it's basically setting me up for the best fightcamp that I'll have ever and excited to make my comeback and 2023 Until then, please support the show by going to our website, sex violence with rebel girl.com You can buy some T shirts, hat merch doesn't matter, it all helps out. And if you have any, like guest suggestions, or you want to sponsor the show, and also help out that way, that is sex and violence firstname.lastname@example.org And I've been doing a very small push for an intern. So if you're listening to this show and you have marketing background, or you just think that you have something to offer. I don't need a resume. I just need an email. So sex and violence email@example.com Shoot me an email, just tell me how you think you can help out this show and maybe some, you know, accolades some stuff you've done in the past. That would be awesome. All right, guys. Let's talk to our amazing guest. Today's guest is an internationally recognized supermodel rising MMA personality, and co host of the realize recognized podcast with Dustin kowski and top UFC fighter Kevin Holland. She also covers fight events with live post fight interviews, endless breakdowns, and is a leading representative for African American women commentating in the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. We talk about hiding MMA training while modeling being taken by yourself having traditional values anti online dating dick pics Return to Sender Rick Fox interaction natural chemistry overlooks dating career adjacent characteristics of male models bougie outside down to earth inside a funny guy with a brain breaking and entering over love benefits of dating older men and much more here's your guest a dare Byerly?
Unknown Speaker 9:33
All right we're here with Adair Byerly I'm very excited to have her on the show. First supermodel for sure. So very excited about that. And supermodel turned into analyst commentator, podcast host and probably a plethora of other things. I'm super excited to have her on the show. How are you?
Unknown Speaker 9:55
I'm good. How are you? Thank you for having me.
Unknown Speaker 9:58
I'm good. I'm doing really good. We had a little technical issue there, but I'm just so grateful to have a guest. I'm a little salty from last week I had somebody ghost me basically just get my hopes up. I'm just like, waiting with my headphones on, like, come on.
Unknown Speaker 10:16
You were actually in. You were ready to go.
Unknown Speaker 10:19
We're ready to go. Yeah. And so it was just like, I feel like, you know, I'm in a relationship, but I'm like, I haven't been ghosted in a long time, but I feel like I just got podcast ghosted, so I'm like, dammit. Oh, my goodness. No, it's all good. I'm like joking. And it's like, easy come easy. Go, you know, and then having you on the show is super exciting, because you do a lot of things that I'm passionate about, obviously, mixed martial arts. But as I'm in like the later part of my personal career, I'm getting into commentating and cageside. Reporting, and you're killing it. So let's talk about that.
Unknown Speaker 10:54
Oh, yeah. So it's interesting. It's really within just within the last year, I decided that I wanted to go over into sports media. And it was weird, because I was like, Man, how am I going to do this shift? Right, like, I'm coming from fashion and entertainment. No one's gonna take me seriously already know this off rip. But also, a lot of people didn't know that I had a background in mixed martial arts. I kept that a secret when I was a model. Because when I was modeling, if clients know, right, that you're training in a gym, then you are, you're, you're basically a liability for them, right? So they don't want to choose me for a job if there's a possibility that I'm going to show up with a bruise or a scratch somewhere. So I hid that for a long time, people didn't even know that our train, people had no idea. They just knew I like fights, right? But I was much more than a fan I was hands on. So I was like, Man, I think I really think I could do this. Because I come from show business. You know what I mean? I'm used to being in front of the camera. I'm used to working in fast paced environments, high intensity, male dominated industries. So I was like, I might as well just take everything that I know, including studying brain and behavioral science, and just put it all in one area. And so now, now I'm here.
Unknown Speaker 12:15
So to be clear, you were modeling and doing mixed martial arts training. And then the last year you've gotten into mixed martial arts, sports media. What When did you stop modeling? Are you still modeling right now?
Unknown Speaker 12:31
I still model it's just not snot at the top of my list of importance. So I'm not a full time model anymore. I don't make myself available for castings like I used to. But
Unknown Speaker 12:47
that's awesome. I am reminded of my former teammate, Alan giovane, who you're probably familiar with and mixed martial arts. He was also a model. Maybe he still is. Yeah. Good looking, man. That's a good look. I've set it on here. I'm like, you know, stop. They'll train next to me get up, get away. Too close. He's good looking. And he used to be, gosh, I don't always mess it up. But like, Armani, I don't know. But movies, Versace or something like that. But I remember there was a story he had, he had a black eye and they had to like put the makeup on it and cover it up before a shoot. And so I understand you know, if you have to keep that from people just so they, they don't want to hire you in case your liability, like you said, so that's interesting. Yeah. So now that you are shifting over into sports, entertainment, not just modeling and training, how's it going? I know you have your podcast, which is amazing. I definitely want to ask you about that how podcasting is going since that is something I'm obviously into as well.
Unknown Speaker 13:51
Yeah, so the podcast was a great surprise for me. I, I wasn't planning to be doing that. Like I said, it's just it's like everything. When I stepped into this things just started to unfold very, very quickly. I got there a lot faster than I thought I did. But I'm also realizing that this industry, the fight industry is a lot smaller than entertainment in the fashion world. So I was able to cover more ground, you know, over on this side of things than I was when it took me 10 years plus to do all the other things over there. But yeah, so the podcast I'm doing is the realize recognize the CO hosts with Kevin Holland, and the huge UFC personality. Dustin, good kowski and they're those guys are great. They're wonderful is so much fun working with them. I love them. They're very respectful of me. They take care of me. They respect me. It's it's a great dynamic with all of us. You know, I'm kind of like the, the woman of the team so I helped keep them organized and I also have Don't bring stuff kind of bring stuff back this way when it goes too far on the bros.
Unknown Speaker 15:05
Yeah, you're the feminine balance for sure. Yeah. So do you guys have like a general format? Or is it just open form? Do you guys talk about just fight fight specific items? Or what's kind of the gist of the show?
Unknown Speaker 15:20
No. So realize recognize was created to really recognize people, real people, real talent, real stories. It doesn't just have to be in the fight world. But we do talk about fight stuff. We've had a lot of fight guests that are on. We like people in the fight world. But really, if if we find somebody that has a good story, or somebody that's just a real last person, we like to have him on. So we have, we have some pretty cool conversations. We have a lot of fun on that show. I'm sure you've seen some of the clips of us laughing. But the format is like it honestly, it was very organic. For all of us. Like the first day I came in, they were looking for a co host. Kevin wanted me on the show, and I said, Okay, so I show up. And the first day we filmed I didn't know what the hell's going on. We just we literally just like it was we were winging it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. To be great. So over this first season, we just learned each other. And, you know, I know their personality more. They know my personality. They see how I work. I see how they work. The conversation wise, how it flows. So we kind of have a good understanding. I think we bounce off of each other very well.
Unknown Speaker 16:36
And you're also doing commentating and analysts work right now as well.
Unknown Speaker 16:41
Yes. So when I first started, I was just doing like, pre site interviews and posts right interviews. I had told a ring announcer Actually, I'll go ahead and give him a shout out Antonio Perkins. I told him a while back that I wanted to commentate. And so one night, I was at a organization that he was calm, or that he was a ring announcer for and he I'm just taking notes, because you know, I'm on the side, making sure that I know how to recap the night when the fights are over when and he looks at me. He's like, you want to get on? I was not prepared. Was I wanted to say no. I almost said no. And then I said, Well, I can't say no. Because if I say no, then I just contradict, you know, all the stuff I've been saying I want to do I have an opportunity to do it. I've been throwing things before I might as well go for it. So I said yes. And hopped on a call my first fight, I did some commentating, I got wonderful feedback. And then I heard myself and I was like, dang, I actually am like a professional. So it was exciting. And then after that, I was like, I gotta do this because I'm very analytical person. So I like to, I like to break things down. I like to I'm also an educator, so I love to teach people. You know, when I'm when I'm speaking about things, I've learned that a lot of people that watch fights don't entirely understand what they're looking at, unless they've been involved in the sport. Oh, yeah. Not something very easy to understand. It's not like even boxing, people who watch boxing don't even really understand boxing as boxing fans, but it's easier to focus on because you have just, you know, you have your hands, right? Footwork, and you got your hands and you're throwing and you're only landing with your hands. But in MMA, you're talking about various forms of background of art, you know, you have to be able to understand each of those, you have to be able to know the background of the fighters that you're commentating on, right. And then it's cool to know their personality too. And kind of the reason why they're doing what they're doing. It really gets people emotionally invested in the fight while they're watching it.
Unknown Speaker 18:57
Oh, yeah, I mean, exactly what you just said. There's so many different aspects to mixed martial arts as a fighter. You know, we have to train every discipline that in itself is exhausting wrestling in the morning boxing at night strength conditioning runs in between exhausting and then you have to do the same exact thing where it's you need to be educated in every single one. And it's just even keeping up with like the MMA news. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I'm like, I don't how do I know what's going on with this sport in boxing and now you got celebrity Logan Paul fighting? Who knows? And I'm like, I just can't fucking keep up like it's just you know, and then it's like, oh, sorry, go ahead.
Unknown Speaker 19:39
Oh, yeah. I was saying like, when I when I first started, like getting into it, I would read, you know, different articles and stuff. And then this is what got me. I started doing journalism work. I did journalism work with FanSided. Okay, I was actually hired by FanSided to cover Dana White contingent series. Okay, so I'd have to watch the series know, while it's happening. And then topics would come up. And then we would just have to pick them, you know, as they come in and then write about them and turn them in within a certain timeframe. And that's when I realized, like, there's a lot of people that write these articles that don't know what they're talking. Yeah. And people read this shit. Yeah. And they take it to heart and they take it to heart and it's not everybody. There's there's good journalists out there. Right. So shout out
Unknown Speaker 20:33
to Amy Kaplan, who works for work used to work for FanSided as well. Oh, she's
Unknown Speaker 20:38
still there. That's who I worked with. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 20:40
perfect. Shout out to our girl, Amy.
Unknown Speaker 20:43
Shoot, that girl kept me on my toes. Yeah, it was like, I mean, seriously, I, I loved her because she was so she's so blunt. She's blunt. straight to it. Yep. And I am a journalist. Oh, yeah. So she would you know, she would tell us like this, this person, this person, like, so. But I got to see, you know, like, even she would help me a lot on formatting stuff. Because I was like, I was clueless. How to how to raise them down. But yeah, I would say like, man, there's people that that are writing about this that have never, ever done it never been. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:20
And you didn't tell not in the way that they? You know, because everybody can talk technically. You know what I mean? But I feel like sometimes you can read an article and just by the vibe, someone is the way someone's wording something. I'm like this motherfucker has never thrown a punch this he'd never done a double let get the fucking
Unknown Speaker 21:40
thing with those you know with the at the pre fight, you know competition.
Unknown Speaker 21:46
Oh, yeah. press conferences. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:47
Fight asking those questions. I'm like, the some of the questions I've heard like in person that even other fight organizations, I'm like, what? Oh, my man.
Unknown Speaker 21:59
Imagine being a hungry fighter who has to hear the same dumbass question over and over. And actually, I was just talking to somebody who baseball players, they have to do like 500 times the amount of media that fighters do because they have to do a media. Like you know, that's all like,
Unknown Speaker 22:17
there's walking into the stadium. Then there's getting dressed.
Unknown Speaker 22:22
Yeah, I know everything. Baseball. Okay. Okay. There's a lot of media in baseball. You do
Unknown Speaker 22:27
it again with this? Yeah, people do the field. Yeah, like in practice, and
Unknown Speaker 22:32
then you do it with the same people over and over. And I was like, halfway through your media right there. Yeah, I can't imagine. So I feel like you understand, you know, you've actually trained and that's what makes you so unique and special, you know, and it's like, you know, sorry to bring this up. You know, I'm sure you're a half of us probably tired of hearing this. But like, yeah, you're so beautiful that people probably expect that, like, this chick doesn't know what she's talking about. But you have trained over
Unknown Speaker 23:03
every time. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 23:05
I mean, I'm sure there's some perks.
Unknown Speaker 23:07
No, I just mean, like, as far as people under estimating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I always I always exceed the expectation. Like, you got to say, and they're like, Oh, she's got something to say.
Unknown Speaker 23:19
It's such a rewarding feeling. I know it is, you know, because just women in general, you know, even though there's women's mixed martial arts, and it's, you know, a huge growing sport. I definitely feel like females are underestimated. And then you find a woman and she's trained and she knows how to speak about the sport. Oh, we lost her. Oh, oh, there she was. My screen
Unknown Speaker 23:41
full dark. What happened? I'm sorry. That's all right.
Unknown Speaker 23:45
We're all good. Yeah, so I'm very happy to hear that you started writing for FanSided Where did you go after FanSided?
Unknown Speaker 23:54
Let's see right after fan side actually. It wasn't even too long after that. When I started doing the podcast.
Unknown Speaker 24:02
You know, you said it's only been a year but you're really making a good name for yourself early on, you know, you're hitting the social media hard. You're collaborating with the right people, you know, you got the algorithm down and I see your your stock rising. So I'm excited for you. Are you currently in contract with anybody for commentate? Okay, well guys, listen. Listen a
Unknown Speaker 24:27
couple different organizations that keep talking about doing it and, and, you know, they have people in their ear telling them you need to get her now because someone's gonna pick her
Unknown Speaker 24:37
up, hit my girl up, hit her up. So we're gonna transfer a little bit, you know, we know that you are a badass professional. You know what you're talking about. You've been trained in this sport, you're not just a pretty face, and now it's sex and violence. So I got to ask you, are you seeing anybody? Are you single Are you taken and also how do you identify sexually A we like to be very PC here. Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 25:03
Um, so I like to say I'm taking by myself right now i, officially technically, technically, I am single, but I am not available. This is about me, myself and I, I'm taking care of myself, I am dating myself, I'm reevaluating a lot of things. It's been, honestly, it's been a very rough year for me. So, you know, I'm just, I'm just taking time for myself and I'm, I'm stepping back and I'm, you know, I'm just learning myself as a woman,
Unknown Speaker 25:40
that's such an important thing to do. And I'm always excited to talk to a guest. Because I have such a very, like, work, work, work mindset. And I feel like the most productive is when I'm single. And I just feel like we can really achieve our goals. I love my man, you know, but I do, I do feel like when you're in love, and when you're in a relationship, you give a big part of yourself to the other person, right? And, you know, and you get, you can get greedy when you're single, and you can just thrive and you can focus on your career. And I feel like it's a hard balance to find a partner who allows you to just be selfish and focus on your career as well. So I'm excited for you. Work here. Yeah, I'm
Unknown Speaker 26:21
finding that balance right now. I'm trying to, because I'm a little, I think I would say, um, um, I have traditional values as a woman. So when I'm in a relationship I do, I can mold my entire life around that person, especially if I really care about them. So yeah, when I'm in love, it's all in and it's all that person. And I'm like, I gotta, I gotta figure. Well, me No, and to answer your other questions, how identify? Yeah, I like, I like the guys. Okay. I date men. I've married a man. But I think women are beautiful. And I'm attracted to women. So there's that too.
Unknown Speaker 27:02
Yeah, everyone's big on labels these days. And the only reason I asked like I said is because I'm like, don't cancel me. Just it's my little disclaimer, I'm like I asked, you know, but I try I try really hard to be PC and to make sure I'm addressing people appropriately in the way that they want to be addressed and whatnot. So
Unknown Speaker 27:23
he, I'm not going to hate you.
Unknown Speaker 27:28
So okay, so you're single, are you You know, I love asking about whether or not you are into online dating because it's so you know, such a technological generation but for me, I'm like there's nothing like meeting someone in person like a really cute cute meet your meet cute. What's it called? Meet cute. Meet cute. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 27:47
Oh my gosh, no. Online dating. No, I'm not. I'm never, never not open for dating right now. Just wait, to be honest and clear. So anybody's watching this, do not send me an unsolicited dick pic. Because I'm telling you right now, I'm going to save it. And I'm going to send it to the next guy. Because that's, that's my that's my role. I said that. I said, I'll go say that on my other podcast, actually, because I started the fans were going crazy. inboxes so don't send me that shit. I don't want to see it. I'm not interested. But no, I'm not on online dating. That's that scares me. I've I've done it. I think once. It didn't last long. But I will say I have started relationships online. My last relationship was was from well, not really. No, kinda. I met I met the guy online. I met him through officially online. I heard about him in person. I met him online. I've had a couple other boyfriends I met met through social media. So I guess I don't know, is that considered the same?
Unknown Speaker 28:52
No, I mean, it's not the same, but it pretty much is I was my me and my guy, you know, three years plus, and he just slid into my DMs. So I feel like that's kind of like online dating. But we knew each other before that, you know, but yeah, it's just like a mailbox or send you a letter. It's so weird, because you have we have access to like, whoever we want. You know, it really, you know, people may not look at their entire inbox, but for the most part, nowadays, like anyone has a shot, right? So it's like, your dating world opens up but it's also this weird, like, you're not meeting someone in person, you're just randomly sending them a message like, is that okay? Like, how do you prefer to meet people?
Unknown Speaker 29:33
I like meeting people in person and it I love like, organic interaction, right? So like, let's just say so, in when I was in the modeling industry in the entertainment world, I got to I have the pleasure and honor of seeing a lot of beautiful people. Right? Till this day. I always tell this story the most most Beautiful Man that I ever saw was Rick Fox person. I was just walking I don't know who Rick Fox
Unknown Speaker 30:14
in the late 90s, early 2000s Okay and you have a picture
Unknown Speaker 30:16
and requests for her
Unknown Speaker 30:19
pull up pictures all of Rick Fox for me.
Unknown Speaker 30:21
I'm gonna tell you what I massively we call the the George Clooney a basketball.
Unknown Speaker 30:29
Okay? George Clooney basketball Okay, I'm gonna need to see this man.
Unknown Speaker 30:33
I got to see him in person. I was just walking it was during All Star Weekend. And I was just working different events. They hired me as a model to come and work another couple events that weekend and he's walking down the staircase, and he was so beautiful.
Unknown Speaker 30:48
You got a new picture or prime pic. Oh, doesn't matter.
Unknown Speaker 30:52
He still looks good. Older.
Unknown Speaker 30:57
I've seen that guy before. Okay. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 31:00
Any smiling he looks like a friggin Angel. guy looks like an angel just stand our staircase. I didn't realize it was him. I was like this person. Who's a person glowing? Yeah. I got to feel a lot of like, you know, good looking people, people that that like where their looks matter. You know what I mean? Now, what's interesting about me is I'm a very, I'm not American materialistic girl. I don't give a shit about looks like that. I don't even care much about my physical appearance. A lot of people think that I do. Now. I have dignity. So I'm not going to let myself go. You know, but as far as attraction, natural attraction, people I actually liked the chemistry more than the physical appearance. So you can be the sexiest man or the sexiest woman if I don't vibe with you. It's not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna get anywhere. So I'm big on organic conversation, natural chemistry. I like intellectual conversations. I don't like people interviewing me. I hate being interviewed. Like, don't interview me when I'm talking to you. On a romantic level. Yeah, you know where you're, you know how people check those? Oh, yeah, they're
Unknown Speaker 32:15
putting you through? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I hate that. Yeah, no, yeah. And that just adds like, a sense of like, anxiety to it, like, you know, because you can tell when someone's trying to find out information, and then you're smart enough to know, like, Okay, what if they don't like that information? Like, it should just be organic? Right?
Unknown Speaker 32:36
Yeah. And then also, I'm like, What makes you think like, you're, you're interviewing me? You didn't even ask me if I wanted the job. Yeah, exactly. Think about checking off the boxes in your head. Like, I'm just gonna, like, I'm available for me off people think I'm actually available.
Unknown Speaker 32:56
And, you know, it's a male dominated industry. I ask people this question all the time. Because, you know, we you brought it up earlier. It's such a small industry. It's such a small sport, right? And so, you know, I know you're not looking right now. And maybe let's talk about in the past, when you were in the fashion industry? Do you believe in dating in the, you know, in the industry? Or do you try to kind of stay? Don't shit where you eat, for lack of better term?
Unknown Speaker 33:23
Um, here's what I say, just because I understand human behavior. I think it's normal to do it, because we tend to, if we're around people all the time, it makes sense, right? Because we spend a lot of time with people in our industry. That's why, you know, unfortunately, when affairs take place, they tend to happen with someone who's in the industry that the spouse works in, right? That's not uncommon, or someone who's around the most, so it makes sense. I think it's fine. To date. On a serious level, I think it's dangerous, if you're just plowing through people. If you're just discovering yourself, right, or you're just trying to have fun, or you're a fan or, you know, I don't know, let's just say you got a fresh kick of being single after being married for a long time, I would just say, you know, it's probably not a good idea to, you know, run rampant in an industry that, you know, could possibly tarnish your career or prevents you from working with people in the future. Because now, of course, when you sleep with people, that's the most that's the most intimate and closest wave builds another human being. If you do that with multiple people in the same industry, eventually you're gonna find somebody you piss off, right? People know people, people want to take people's sides and it should just gets messy. So I would just say, depending on your intentions, you don't think it's bad, but it can be dangerous.
Unknown Speaker 34:52
Have you on a personal level? done that in the past, you know, we're I'm in my third buddies. Now I know you're in your 30s as well. There's some things I've done in my 20s where I'm like, wow, what the fuck?
Unknown Speaker 35:07
Yeah, in my past, I dated one photographer. The other guy that I dated he's he was my boyfriend for like three years. He was a formerly a professional actor. And then he turned into a script writer. He was actually he was responsible for the show, Narcos. Oh, nice, awesome. Read the original script for that show. So
Unknown Speaker 35:35
kind of like career adjacent partners, not like, you know, my
Unknown Speaker 35:40
circle. But also on that note, I never dipped into my industry. So seems like
Unknown Speaker 35:49
it's tempting industry to not dip into. Right? Exactly, you know, model guys. And no, I
Unknown Speaker 35:56
didn't know model guys. Honestly, I'm not really. I'm not really attracted to the model, man. Wow, who says that? Well, they're, well,
Unknown Speaker 36:05
you're so good looking. Get away from me? No, they're
Unknown Speaker 36:08
good looking. But a lot of them are annoying. Ah, okay. The annoying me because I'm late. I'm such a laid back. The way I look does not match my personality. Really, like I'm a really bad girl. Okay, I'm Super Down to Earth. I'm somewhat of a kind of a country girl and kind of like a tomboy type. You know, and I don't, I don't care about I look bougie. But I'm not like, I will kick back and I will look like, like, when I don't have a megaphone. I always say I look like a 14 year old or 12. Like chillin on the couch. And you're the
Unknown Speaker 36:44
best of both worlds. You know,
Unknown Speaker 36:46
you can do that. I don't, I don't like all errors. And there's a lot of men out there. You know, that. All models at least, that they care way too much about what they look like. And because they know that they're beautiful, or they know that they're sexy. It's like the way that they approach you is almost like entitlement. And I hate that shit. Yeah. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 37:07
It seems like you just need a man with more substance, right?
Unknown Speaker 37:11
Yes, I like I like the mainly men's Alright man, who, who will, you know, get go outside and chop some wood or something?
Unknown Speaker 37:18
I know you have your degree in behavioral science, correct? Well, I have
Unknown Speaker 37:23
Okay, so I don't actually have a degree. What I do have though, is I have solidified licensing and certifications.
Unknown Speaker 37:31
I love that you still know your shit. You still know.
Unknown Speaker 37:36
From very credible, credible places, like one of the plays. One of the one of my understudies are continuing education as I did was actually through a Harvard course. So you know, I mean, I did the work. Yeah. You know, I didn't, I just didn't get it. I didn't want to go back to school and do all those years. Of course.
Unknown Speaker 37:53
Yeah. Well, I love it. You're so well rounded, you know, the modeling, mixed martial arts, you're, you're an intellect as well. So how do you juggle everything that you're currently doing right now? Obviously, being single helps.
Unknown Speaker 38:07
Um, honestly, I think I have a good support system. You know, I think I have a good support system. I'm pretty. Like I said, I had a rough year. So I've had to kind of sit back and and reevaluate my priorities. You know what I'm doing. So I don't feel guilty for trying to pursue things that I want. I think I've always been a go getter. My both my parents are successful entrepreneurs. And that literally goes all the way back in my bloodline goes all the way back to slavery. Like we've been, we've been entrepreneurs, all the way through down to this generation. So I'm used to working all the time, on multiple things. I don't clock out, you know, there's, even if I'm laying in bed, and I have an idea, you know, it's if I think it's something worth bringing to life, I'll do it. I'm a very, how can I say this? I'm one of those people that think, like, nothing's impossible. Right? So when I first started modeling, they told me no, because I wasn't tall enough that I needed to be five, eight. I'm, I wasn't five, eight. At the time. I was like, five, six and a half. Now I'm five, seven, I only grew a half inch taller. Because of that I was I actually made history at that agency. I was the first African American model at that agency that was signed a representative by fashion division. So I made history there. Wow. Then in 2013, I had my son in 2012. They told me my career was over because I had a baby. He was a big baby. So he fucked up my stomach. They told me my career results are over. And then I ended up in vogue in 2013.
Unknown Speaker 40:04
After your baby.
Unknown Speaker 40:06
Yeah, after the baby Hell yeah. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 40:08
I love that.
Unknown Speaker 40:09
And, you know, when I started my company, my brain and behavioral science company that was I started that for creatives that was just from working in an industry that I worked with in for so many years. So I did a lot of professional development. I still do I love doing that. And what is that? What is it exactly? Entertainment mind frame?
Unknown Speaker 40:30
What is entertainment mind frame,
Unknown Speaker 40:32
my company, I do professional development for creatives. So anybody behind the camera, such a production, Team media, even stylist, anybody in the creative world, you know, I've even dipped over into the science side where I'm talking to engineers and stuff. And it's team collaboration. It's team building, it's professional development, and it's all about the science of communication, wow, verbal, nonverbal. So I started that company, and I didn't get a lot of support in the city I was in. So I reached out to an agent out in Los Angeles, and they believed in me, and six months later, my company was the top black female owned companies to know in Forbes. So when I, when I set out to do something, right, and other people can't see it. I'm like, I'll just show you, you know, so I've had a good, I think I've had a good success record of, of succeeding, and whatever I choose to go after, you can't really tell me no. Yeah, you know,
Unknown Speaker 41:40
I love that. So in your opinion, has it been a little harder for you in the combat sports world as a female?
Unknown Speaker 41:51
Um, you know, I think, I don't know how to answer that. I just keep that. I think maybe it is. But I went into that expecting it. You know,
Unknown Speaker 42:06
I personally have, I feel like, I've been very fortunate to where I've had a lot of opportunities in front of me, because I am a female, you know, with fighting and with media. And it's a question I asked, because it's, you would expect, you know, in a male dominated sport, it might be harder, but I really, I feel lucky sometimes because I do get a lot of opportunities because I am a female. So I don't really feel like I've been discriminated against or, you know, like, I'm starting from behind.
Unknown Speaker 42:33
No, the only the only part that I'm finding that it's hard is getting at a compensating table. Analyst side as a as a woman. And a woman who, you know, has a former background as a as a model. I mean, when people hear me talk, they're sold. But before that, it's like, it's really, it's just really hard to find a spot at the table, because so many people are very, very territorial over that spot. Yeah, like to the point of like, you know, bashing your names, make sure you don't get in. Oh, man, it's cutthroat. Yeah. Yeah, there's, it's cutthroat is so and I get it, and you have to earn that spot. But I'm so fine with that. I'm totally fine with that. On the other hand, I will say that this sport, MMA is the only sport I believe that is equal in regards to men and women. Like it's a sport where men and women actually train together, you know what I'm saying? And it's cool, because women are, I mean, I'm sure there's some people out there that are like, and women can't do this, we can't do that. But for the most part, men understand, like, know, a woman can rock be a woman can, she can choke me out. And when you feel that, and you have that compatibility in a training space, it's like you have a different respect for women, you know, than you do in other sports, for sure. So, I will say, I think because of the dynamic of the industry, I think it's easier for me here than I think it would be like an NBA or NFL, you know, so I think because of that, I get a lot more opportunities,
Unknown Speaker 44:18
in terms of dating and with your partner. Do you feel like your career has ever caused some friction or some problems meaning, you know, sometimes there's jealousy when like to fighters date or, you know, a partner who doesn't understand that training with men is not just rolling around on the ground. You know, some people if they don't do jujitsu, they think a man and a woman and he's between her legs like they just get weird, right? Has that ever happened to you?
Unknown Speaker 44:48
Yeah, I've had a couple guys that I've dated that that weren't comfortable. How do you deal with that? They just I have to get over it. Or I have to leave. Because I can't. I know me as a woman, right? I'm a very. I'm a very strong woman. I'm a very respectable woman. I'm very straight. I don't. I don't I'm a flirtatious person. And I'm nice, but I don't I know when to stop the line. You know, because I understand taking it too far. I understand leading people on and that's not something I do. I don't lead people on. I don't. I don't play around. In certain situations. The lines are pretty clear with me. So if I'm with somebody in their relationship with me, and they don't understand that about me, that means they don't trust me. Right? And I'm like, well, you're just gonna have to, you're just gonna have to exit and then just watch me. Yeah, right. Because I'm going where I'm going, period, like, regardless with or without you. I'm going where I'm going. I mean, I told I told one of my boyfriends before, he got my ass. He was being so mean to me. He was actually a fighter, not like, not like a big time fighter, like a local fighter. And he told me, you know, that he was the best I was ever gonna do. Oh, wow. Yeah. I said, Well remember that when you're sitting on the couch when you see me on TV. And that was five years ago. That was before I even even knew that I was going to be going over into sports media in the MMA world period. So right now, I know that motherfucker sees me on TV. I know. I know, he's been it. So I've, you know, stuff like that makes me laugh, because I'm like, I'm serious. You know, it doesn't stop me. I know, I will say I respect anybody I'm with. And I'll ask, but, you know, I'll do as much as I can to make them comfortable, but I won't sacrifice my calling for the person that I'm with. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 46:57
I love that. I love that. I hope a lot of young women heard that right now, because that's a very strong statement from a very successful woman who's making a name for herself in a completely different industry, which is so fucking hard. You know, people don't understand doing something your whole life and then getting into something else. You know, I'm just making a very small analogy for me. I'm a fighter my whole life, like, I'm self deprecating. Sometimes I'm like, just such a meathead. And then I get injured. And now I'm trying to do all this media stuff, but I'm thrown into it. And you said the same thing, it's, you just have to say, yes, you have to take every opportunity in front of you. And you have to make sure that there's no roadblocks, and sometimes those roadblocks are partners, and you gotta be strong enough to say, hey, my career is more important than keeping you happy, or whatever.
Unknown Speaker 47:47
Yeah. And then, you know, sometimes it's okay. Like, I know that sometimes if you guys break up, or you know, you can take a break, and sometimes evaluate, like, if you have a partner that supports you, you know, and you but you guys just can't figure out what's going on, take a break. And if that person supports you in that break, and you support them in that break, and they allow you to grow, because relationships that they have about relationships that are so funny to me, is we choose people based off of where we are, right, but we forget that we grow, we forget that we forget that we change and we grow and we get mad at people when they change and I'm like you're supposed to change. Good and bad. You're supposed to everybody has their roadmap ahead of them, and they have to go through that journey. And your job as a spouse is to see how long you can stay with them on their journey. If there's a part of that journey that you can't be with anymore. You have to be honest with yourself. You have to be honest with them and say, Okay, we got to go our separate ways, or I don't want to go several right now. Let's just take a break and reevaluate it and see if we can get back on this path together. You know, I love that.
Unknown Speaker 48:54
I feel like general mindset about a break is that oh, shit. A break means break up forever. But I guess brakes do work sometimes.
Unknown Speaker 49:04
Right? They can I've never been a big break person. But the older I get the more I believe in them. Yeah, more of a leaving them because of like, you know, I used to think a break meant. Oh, that just means we can go have sex with whoever the funny one. When I was younger, I was Oh, yeah. He's gonna go fight time, right? Oh, yeah, that was my thought. And then now I get older and I'm like, No, it just means me. It just means me. I just need time.
Unknown Speaker 49:33
Time for reflection. Time to figure things out time to feel like okay. Are we growing in the right way? Not the wrong
Unknown Speaker 49:41
way. Yeah, yeah, really? You You have to reevaluate what you want all the time.
Unknown Speaker 49:46
I gotta ask you some like prying questions. Can you share with us your worst date story? The worst? Yeah, like one where you're like think back and you're like, I cannot believe that happen like Can't believe this guy did that, like something that you'll never forget a bad blind date? Maybe you're catfished Well, you don't do online dating.
Unknown Speaker 50:07
No, I've never been kaphas Yeah, everybody I've ever dated. I've known like, and I've known for, like, at least a couple of years because I'm too scared and too scared to do that. The meeting stuff.
Unknown Speaker 50:19
Yeah, it's real roll a roll of the dice these days with filters. You know, you're like, Oh, you do not look like that. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 50:27
I mean, I've had bad I've had bad relationships. I've had terrible relationships has honestly, off the top of my head I can't think I can't really think of a bad date every guy that I feel like I've gone out with I like strategically said yes to I've said no to a ton of people like even guys that I ended up dating later I said, notice the beginning because
Unknown Speaker 50:56
of what type of like personality Do you tend to go for? Like the funny guy? The you know, the intellectual? Like, do you have like, kind of like, not so much aesthetically, but like personality, personality characteristics that you are interested in?
Unknown Speaker 51:12
Yeah, so first and foremost. I like funny people. Usually people that are funny tend to have somewhat of an intellect as well. You know, if you have good if you're like quick humor. Well, there's different
Unknown Speaker 51:27
kinds of humor. There's like Beavis and Butthead humor. Those or not.
Unknown Speaker 51:34
I like I like people who are good. I like people that can laugh. I like people who could make light of situations. But I do like smart people like smart men. And I like very, I like people who know who they are, and know that they don't have all the answers. I don't know if that makes sense or not
Unknown Speaker 51:54
know how humbleness you know, like you have to be humble to the point because if you think you know, all the answers, like that's just arrogance, and obviously ignorance because nobody knows everything. But yeah, you gotta have some source of groundedness and to be humble. Yeah. Damn. Okay. It feels I just feel like you know, you said No, Allah, it feels like you would have gotten one like a one bad day.
Unknown Speaker 52:17
No, I honestly, I can't. I really can't think of one. I mean, I had one guy to take me to a house party. And I don't know why this. I don't know why this just popped in my head. I love it. I had a guy take me to a house party. He wanted me to go out with him. I went out this is this was our date. And it was it didn't go well. Because the hurting turning into a fight and then the gun got pulled out. And wow, nobody got shot, but it was like, I was like, bro, I want to go home.
Unknown Speaker 52:53
Yeah, I'm out. I didn't come out. It was taken back home. Is this is a taste of life with you. I'm fucking out of here.
Unknown Speaker 53:03
Yeah, I can. This is not a good way to like, set the tone for us. But it was I was a teenager.
Unknown Speaker 53:11
Yeah, we've all done crazy thing. What's the craziest thing you've ever done for love? You know, it's usually in our early years, we're a little bit irrational. Or maybe the most romantic thing. I don't know if you're very romantic.
Unknown Speaker 53:24
I'm extremely romantic. Honestly, the most romantic. Okay, the dumbest thing I've ever done was put up with someone shit for too long.
Unknown Speaker 53:32
I think we've all done that. And it's the fucking dumbest thing. But we
Unknown Speaker 53:37
all lost my temper over. Like looking back, right? I should have just left the situation. But I stayed too long. I got tied up in the dynamic and I started responding that way. So the dumbest thing I did was I don't even want to say it. Well, I guess enough years have gone by I can't incriminate myself now, but I destroyed property. Oh, yeah. And that was my third thought. Like, yeah, I destroy property. It was it was very bad. It was like, multiple felony type of bad because I even I even broke into the house. Dang. Yeah, I was I was not. Never again. Right. But that was the dumbest thing. I think I did. And that wasn't for him. It was just that dynamic was so bad. And he's just
Unknown Speaker 54:35
shithead we all have like an outlet where that emotion goes. I'm sure someone had pushed you to a certain level with like, Yeah, whatever it was.
Unknown Speaker 54:45
It was a total click. Like, I was sitting I sat in my car. What happened? I'll tell you a little bit of a story. What happened is I drove up to the house to drop off something and he wasn't expecting me to come It was just early in the morning. And you hear that baby? No worries. why she's so angry. Yeah, so I pulled up to the house, he didn't know I was coming. I just came out early in the morning to drop off some stuff. And I just left it at the door. I wasn't expecting to see another car there. You know, another woman and it was the same woman that had reached out to me talk shit to me. You know, just, and I finally was there. I was like, Okay, I actually have the ability to physically touch this person right now. So what am I gonna do? I'm not gonna drive off for all this time, not driving off. So, you know, I thought about it. I was like, should I go inside and get physical? Now, I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna do this instead. So I just, I took a took a cinderblock and I went to work. And then I broke into the house, got my shit, and I left. And I went home and I went to sleep and I slept so good. I slept so good. I was like, I did I need an outlet, right? Because I just dealt with so much. Like, people keep fucking with me.
Unknown Speaker 56:19
Sometimes you just need to Lisa Left Eye Lopes a situation, you know, you just got to deal with it.
Unknown Speaker 56:25
Ever. I will never do that again. Because now now that I'm older, yeah. Now, the red flags. I'm out? Yes. Oh, yeah. The sweetest thing I've ever done was for a guy I was dating. And it was his birthday. And what I did was, I made a compilation of videos of people have lives that he's affected over all the years that he was. So I reached out to all these people. All these people that I knew loved him, people that he hadn't seen and talked to in years. And they put together like, you know, a video for him on his birthday, telling them happy birthday, and then what he did for them in their life. And, of course, they brought him to tears. And he was like, this is the most meaningful birthday I ever had. So that was probably the most work that I ever put in. And it was a memorable moment. And I'm happy for him because he, you know, he took that took that with and that's a good memory to have. You don't ever know, you know, the way you affect people. Sometimes
Unknown Speaker 57:41
I like that you balanced you're crazy story with a sweet story. You're like this crazy.
Unknown Speaker 57:48
Woman and that goes all the way or
Unknown Speaker 57:51
you and I both agreed earlier that we were Alpha females. And I feel like it's just an energy that radiates when you meet someone you like, just know it from the first time you meet someone whether they're an alpha male, alpha female, and this term is like gets thrown around a lot. But I do feel like alphas are like the most passionate which can be a cinderblock through your car. Or it can be your best lovemaking or whatever it is right. So like, when you get an alpha, you're like you're in for a lot. For sure. That's true. I like that. So I like asking the athletes if they have any kind of like pre fight rituals when it comes to sex, like do they abstain? Do they do even care? A lot of athletes? 99% of them say they don't fucking care. They just do whatever. And most people are having sex right before the fight. Do you personally, I mean, you've never fought I know. But do you know any fighters? Have you interviewed any fighters that shared any kind of unique rituals with you?
Unknown Speaker 58:56
Know, actually, it's been the same. Okay, the same request for me. Yeah. They told me that. And so it's funny. You said that because I had, you know, when I started studying brain behavioral science, I was actually interested in that. And I was like, What's the size of mine? Is that actually is there any truth to that? Yeah. What is it? There's this idea, right? It's really more of a myth. It doesn't really make you a better fighter. It depends, I think, Okay, wait, let me let me finish this first, before I say this. All right. My mind goes really fast. When I started talking about this nerdy shit.
Unknown Speaker 59:29
Do you get excited? You're like, Yes, I'm talking about my flip nerd stuff.
Unknown Speaker 59:35
So it's kind of a it's kind of a myth that if men do not ejaculation, that their testosterone is still like, you know, intact, longer and stronger and builds up and then you know, you're an animal and you're frustrated and you're, you know, you're, you fight differently. In reality, testosterone is hormone that doesn't really stop producing. So you're not, it's not like you can overload on hormones, your body balances your hormones out. So if that was actually true, what would happen if men abstain from sex before a fight is they would probably kill somebody. Next time now me and serious, they would kill somebody because it would be such an overload of hormones that your body wouldn't be able to respond correctly anymore, your brain would shut off. And then it would just do whatever those hormones are telling you to do. So it's not true men can actually still have sex and still produce the same amount of testosterone. Now, I will say, when men have sex and women, it produces positive hormones like dopamine, which motivation and, and drive and, you know, love hormones like oxytocin and this shit makes you feel good. So sometimes guys feel better when they do that before their fight versus abstaining. Does that make sense?
Unknown Speaker 1:01:02
Of course, I mean, my, that's the scientific version of for me, I always say, Hey, do whatever makes you happy. If you think abstaining, you know, is gonna help you I feel like psychologically, you know, you believe that you believe that? And I feel like if, then I know, you know, because science, literally, if you have sex, and those good hormones, or those good chemicals are released, you just kind of feel happier. And most likely, when you're happier, you go into the fight more relaxed and more relaxed fighter does better. Mark Munoz, my old coach used to say, the best fighter is a happy fighter. And I don't know if that's true, but it's better to be happy in general, you know, I feel like there is some, there are some fighters who believe that if they're angry and pent up that they go out there and they expel that onto their opponent. And it reminds me of the mike tyson story that I was telling on this podcast, because he basically said that if it was true that the testosterone gets built up, that they would probably kill someone. Right. Mike Tyson, I don't know if you know the story. He literally said that he used to have. Well, actually, there was a book that was written it was by a security guard. But Mike Tyson used to have women in the locker room backstage and he would have sex with them right before he fought. And then when asked about this, they were he was like, well, I need to have sex and get that out. Otherwise, I'll go kill that man in the ring. That's literally what he said. Yeah. So I'm like, Okay, I understand Mike Tyson's, you know, he felt like that buildup was too much that he needed to release that. So it's kind of crazy. So that,
Unknown Speaker 1:02:41
yeah, so I think it's interesting, because like the, it also depends on someone's sexual background and how healthy their sex life was, too. Right? So if like, let's say if you if you had an unhealthy interaction or discovery was that set a young age, right, and you go into your older years without ever working on that, or understanding what that is? Sometimes. Let's say it's a negative thing. Right. And it traumatizes you. Doing that before a fight probably won't be a good idea. Yeah, there's something in you, psychologically, that feels violated, and feels like something's taken away from you. If you do it as a term of a coping mechanism. Right? Well, now you're doing it. And now you feel a little bit better about yourself or you feel like control or so that really, that honestly, that now that's getting into some really deep shit, but I love on someone's background.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:41
I love that. Do you? Do you think that because you've done so much studying in behavioral sciences, that you have a little better insight into the men that you date?
Unknown Speaker 1:03:52
Absolutely. Awesome. Absolutely. Because, because when I learned about the brain, and I learned how it was wired, I've learned the only difference between a male brain and a female brain is the hormones that it produces. In regards to wiring, and how in the functions of our brain, it is built the same. It's built exactly the same, and we all it's the same, it's literally the same process. The only difference is the environment. You grew up in your belief systems, right? What you share how you choose to live your life, that's the filter in which the way we see the world but our hormones is the only thing that makes us different. And those tend to overlap, right? So we think men and women are like so far apart. And in reality, we're very, very similar. We just overlap in some areas. I like what
Unknown Speaker 1:04:44
you said about the filters. That's like a very 2022 way of explaining life, right? Because it's like we all start with the same basic gas camera and then you know, based based on your background, you know, and like you said, your belief system and whatever it is, it's just these different filters coming through. I love that. It's a very awesome analogy. So I gotta ask you a personal question about in the bedroom. Do you have any pet peeves? This is always a fun one because, you know, it could be as small as bad breath or as gnarly as dude slipping in the back door without asking, which is our favorite. Right? Horrible, horrible, but it does happen. And
Unknown Speaker 1:05:34
it happens. It happens to me once I was young. I was like it was I was with my first boyfriend. It was. I remember that I was so funny, because I
Unknown Speaker 1:05:42
don't think you ever forget that. You know, because it's just like,
Unknown Speaker 1:05:45
What the hell? Oh, my God, I felt so
Unknown Speaker 1:05:51
would you say it's forgettable?
Unknown Speaker 1:05:53
It's not forgettable? That's what we just said. We're like,
Unknown Speaker 1:05:56
did you forget that?
Unknown Speaker 1:05:57
I remember it was on September 27 2000. What happened with your situation a dare.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:06
Oh, my gosh, I was. It was my first boyfriend. And we were we were young. We were teenagers. And we got a hotel room. You know, we were all grown and shit. Yeah, we we were, you know, in the middle of the act, and I was doing it, you know, simple little doggy style and slipped out. And he just tried to put it back in real fast. And it didn't even it literally probably didn't even like insert. I just don't think going that direction. And I literally my body went from one side of the bed to the other. I was like, Whoa, no.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:52
Yeah. I look back now. It's like, as I get older, I'm like, Yeah, I you know, I don't want to get old. But I'm like, Dude, I'm so much happier in my 30s now with my sex life with my wisdom. I'm like, Oh, no. Those were awkward years.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:09
Right? Yeah, I'd say like a real big pet peeve of mine. And I don't this is weird. And I hear this all the time when I tell people this, but I do not like it. When somebody's trying to be romantic with me if I don't have that romance with them. Yeah. Like Do not be up in my face, trying to kiss on me. And, you know, say shit to me. If I'm not there with you. If we don't have that, I don't want you close to me in that way. And I don't want you talking to me that way. Like that's, I think that's, you know, that's a different level of intimacy. And I'm not, I'm not willing to go there with you. So it bothers me. I feel like
Unknown Speaker 1:07:50
most men hopefully, like understand that there's like a gradual build up to that. And if they don't, then I'm like, Are you on the spectrum? Like, like, you know, to be like, not as an insult, but as a like, how do you not read human behavior? You know, like,
Unknown Speaker 1:08:07
you're right. A lot of guys don't read. They don't read. They don't read a nonverbal cues that women give. And this is I will say this kind of the difference with men and women because women are really good at reading that. That's one of the reasons I like women too, because women read a lot of nonverbal cues now, men that are experience, they can read you. Yeah, right. Yeah, read you. And I will tell you, most of the guys, pretty much all the guys I've dated had been older than me. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 1:08:39
what is your cut off?
Unknown Speaker 1:08:41
Girl? I don't know if I have one. Oh, I like that. I like that. I'm no I'm serious. I've as long as it's functioning, and you and you look good, and you take care of yourself and keep up with me. There's not really a cut off because I don't tend to really get along with guys my age. I am 32 years old. You know, I've I've dated guys that were 18 years older than me. 14 years older than me, you know, within the same year at least kind of be like six years older than me. Okay. And I tend to get along with the more just because of maturity level.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:20
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously, you want different things in your life. For me, I always say I'm like, yeah, man, when I was in my 20s it was like, he's great in bed. And he makes me laugh. Done. You know, now I'm like, Oh, dude, you know, if your goals aren't to own your own home owner, you know, you know what I mean? Like, I'm looking for a man. I have a man. But you know what he mean? Like, my mindset is always like, I want someone to match my work ethic. And I have a very hard work ethic. And, you know, before though I didn't give a fuck about that, and I'm like, That's what I mean. Like, I'm getting older but at the same time as I get older, I'm like, I appreciate The wisdom, you know, because back then it's like, yeah, everything was careless and fun. But now I'm like, All right, we only have a small amount of time on this earth. I want to make sure I'm set up for like later in my life, especially since I'm like, my last few years of fighting. I'm like, alright, what the fuck am I gonna do now? And I'm like, Okay, if I do have a partner, I'm like, I need a partner who is also continuously striving to be better and work and hustle as well. Yeah, absolutely. So I know this is a weird transition. But the lightning sex round is a fun segment we have it's basically to get to know you on a very personal level. Quickly. It's a rapid fire yes or no segment. Are you ready to play?
Unknown Speaker 1:10:50
Oh, fun. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:52
So I also like to say because my listeners get mad at me. If you do want to elaborate on some of these, I will allow you but for the most part, it's just yes or no.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:02
Okay, is it yes or no? As in? You've done these things. Or you're open to these things, or is it just like because I just open
Unknown Speaker 1:11:09
it? It's just you'll see like, dirty talk in bed? Yes or no? Do you dirty talk in bed? Yes. Perfect. Just like that. Alright, let's go. Here we go. Lightning sex round. Do you spank or like to be speaking? Spoke spanking spanked? Do you I might have smoked some weed before this podcast. Do you like to be sparring? Okay, sorry. I'm biting.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:47
Biting nibble. Oh, you know? I mean, yeah. It's not like it's not like a go to thing every time but yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:11:57
yeah. You're not like, you know, super into biting. But yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:12:00
I like to leave any bite marks. But I'll nibble. Yeah, yeah. There's people who
Unknown Speaker 1:12:04
literally like to draw blood. I'm like, Ah, if there's pain involved, I'm out. Yeah, okay, so
Unknown Speaker 1:12:13
then choking? Huh? Oh, man. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:12:17
yeah. All right. If it's done, right. threesomes? Yes. Do you watch porn?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:26
Yes, but not not excessively? Not even. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:34
Barely, yeah, I, I had like a face. You know, I think everyone has a phase where you first discover it, and you're like, Whoa. And then you get to a place where you're like, I feel dirty.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:46
Sometimes well, and then you get when you get older, you just learn about yourself, like I don't need, I don't need a lot of external stimulation anymore. The older I get, you know, to put myself in that space. So, and I also don't like taken away from any organic oneness with myself or my partner. So, you know, if I'm with my partner, that actually whatever we do, even if it's recorded, you know, that is my, that is my important.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:16
I love that. Because I don't know what the right word is. But I feel like it I guess desensitizes me a little bit, you know, it makes one Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:13:24
yeah, psychologically, it does, it desensitizes you, to being able to enjoy arousal, and the reason why there's actually a part of your brain that's responsible for your pleasure, which is in your amygdala, it's what your memory is, and that the reason why it's called amygdala is because it's the size of an almond part of your brain is the size of an ominous where your memories come from too. So yeah, that a part of your Now there's other parts of your brain that that are wired there, but that is a part of your brain that's responsible for for pleasure. So yeah, if you're feeding certain types of pleasure to your brain, then a cannot do tend to have these blockages when you feed it a separate type of way to be pleasured and it doesn't know how to respond so that's why people can sometimes have performance issues or have a hard time reaching climate Yeah, why
Unknown Speaker 1:14:18
you guys guys or girls got taken easy you're really shooting yourself in the foot there I didn't you know, so you're literally cock blocking yourself? Yeah. All right. How about any fetishes like a foot fetish?
Unknown Speaker 1:14:34
Oh no, I don't have no foot fetishes.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:37
It is the most popular you'd be surprised
Unknown Speaker 1:14:40
I do have a fetish though. But it's not well please
Unknown Speaker 1:14:43
do share this is this is the
Unknown Speaker 1:14:45
time I don't even know if I'm oh my god so
Unknown Speaker 1:14:52
guys, don't judge we do not kink shame. Our thing is we do not yuck anybody's yum. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:58
I love I say that all the time. Oh, I like watching.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:03
Oh, awesome. Yeah, no, that's hot. That's super hot. Yeah, like I
Unknown Speaker 1:15:09
like I like to see things.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:13
I was literally like, I'm like, Oh man, what's she gonna say right now? You're just all I was thinking some tie you upside down? I don't know, she was like, you know, into dwarves or something I don't know which I still I would be like, hey, I'll hook I know, I know a guy with a hoot dwarfism. I'll hook you up.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:32
No, oh my god, he was on the show. No word I enjoy. Now, especially somebody I'm with, I enjoy them being pleased, you know, and I like I enjoy the just the freedom. I think there's a lot of be I mean, even if it's like, by myself, you know, I'm saying it's, I, there's a lot of sexual out sexualities important, it's not dirty, and I hate how people, you know, try and categorize it. Like, it's something that we don't all do. All of us didn't all go through this. And it's a part of us, and it's okay. And we should talk about it more openly, is why this podcast is so great, because you gave everybody the ability to do that. So there's a lot of beauty in accepting people where they are. So when someone comes to you, and they say, Hey, I want to try this, or I'm kind of into this. Is it weird? What do you think? And, you know, instead of shutting them down, making them feel like shit about it, making them feel weird, just accepting it, is telling them. I love you. I'm accepting you. You're coming to me, you know? Not really, but hypothetically, you're coming to being BareNaked vulnerable. Yeah. And I'm, and I'm either going to reject you, or I'm going to accept you. So when you accept accept someone, I'm not saying put up with things. I'm just saying, you know, don't tell people No, I have a huge like, if you tell me no, on something that I'm sharing with you, um, I am probably more than likely not going to be with you long. Right? Because you're, you're not accepting a piece of me. And that tells me that we can't have there's not going to be longevity here. Of course, I just say I won't change later. But I think it's the same way with guys. Like, I think a lot of guys hide, you know, things that they really want because their girls don't accept it. And then girls do the same girls just hide things that they really want to do, because they're scared that their boyfriend's gonna judge them or, or you know, say something weird. So, I'm really big on, you know, like you said, not liking someone's Yum, yeah, you may experience and, you know, just, I love that.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:48
I love that. And it's very important. Yeah, guys, girls, everybody, be gentle when your partner comes to you, and is open and vulnerable like that, even if you're not the biggest fan of the thing. Just just how you react and how you speak to your partner in that moment is so important because it's so hard. You know, I have a sex podcast, I'm getting more comfortable with it. But even in my own personal life to bear that type of thing to your partner is so it's a big step for somebody, so be gentle with them. Okay, moving on to the lightning six round and we're back. What about bondage? Like ropes, blindfold handcuffs?
Unknown Speaker 1:18:25
Um, I'm not opposed to it. I mean, I kind of I like to kind of know what's going on. I don't want to. I don't want to be blindsided. Like to kind of know what's going on. Like, no one's going on. But I yeah, I'm not opposed to having a couple of senses taken away. Awesome.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:43
How about role playing?
Unknown Speaker 1:18:48
I've done it before. Yeah. Yeah, it's not something I wouldn't say it's my go to, but when it's with the right person, it's, it can be a lot of fun.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:57
I can only dress up I can't act because as soon as I start, like pretending to be something I just giggle and it's like, not sexy anymore. Okay, but stuff on you or a partner? Yes, sex toys. They use sex toys. Yes. Ever been to a sex club or a swingers party?
Unknown Speaker 1:19:21
I actually have not. I've been invited. I've been invited. I've said no, because I've been too scared. But I think one day I would like to experience I just have to see what it's like to have to go and experience it. I feel like it's
Unknown Speaker 1:19:35
a scary thing to go to something like that as a single woman but like if you're with your partner
Unknown Speaker 1:19:40
No, I'm not doing a single girl you're crazy.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:43
No. Well your face this is only an audio podcast, but I wish that it was a video podcast because your face was awesome right now.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:52
Oh my god. No, I've just girl I'm too scared to get online. I'm not I don't want to date like leave me alone right now. But yes, if I was in a relationship like with somebody or the person that I trust yes I'll pass the
Unknown Speaker 1:20:03
time to go okay awesome. Lingerie lover
Unknown Speaker 1:20:08
oh my god that's big number one really?
Unknown Speaker 1:20:11
All right I like like the after like ooh the picture but like I fucking I'm such a tomboy at heart of such a tomboy body hair yea or nay?
Unknown Speaker 1:20:22
No No Yeah, I mean it doesn't bother me too bad just just just just groom yourself to carry
Unknown Speaker 1:20:30
as though man manscape is very important ever been caught having sex or masturbating? Yes. Oh, that's the last question Do you want to share a story? I don't move or not Okay, our last two segments are very fun it's a game of fuck marry kill and in some fan questions marry one kill one go. I think we're done. We're done. So for the fuck Marry, Kill those of you listening who don't know what this is? I'm gonna give a dare three names. And she's gonna tell me out of those three names, who she would fuck who she would marry and who should kill. And now I always say it every time this is just a game. We don't want to kill nobody. Okay. All right. Your category is MMA podcast hosts you are in the MMA podcasting scene as well. So you get to choose from Brett and Schwab from fighter and the kid Matt Serra, UFC unfiltered. And finally Kenny Florian Anik and Florian podcast. Who would you fuck? Who would you marry? And who would you kill? A go?
Unknown Speaker 1:21:45
Oh my god. Okay, so this is funny because I just met Matt. I just had lunch with Matt and Dean and they were so awesome but I had a great time with them
Unknown Speaker 1:21:56
shout out Dean Thomas He's awesome.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:59
Yeah, wonderful guy and then and then Brendan he he gave our podcast a shout out. And I was we were wanting to do like a joint podcast together. Okay, so we have we have Kenny? Yep. Right Yep. Brendan and Matt. Matt down it's killed Mary and Oh, guys have to be process of elimination. Like a band aid just like a band aid. Okay, I would marry Kenny,
Unknown Speaker 1:22:49
Unknown Speaker 1:22:53
No, no, no. I say the word. I would have intercourse with Guinea. Okay. Mary, Matt, kill Brendon.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:09
Gotta go by. Okay. All right.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:13
I think you're so fun. It's just a game. It's
Unknown Speaker 1:23:17
all in fun. Awesome. Okay, so I didn't realize before we move over to the UFC fight pass platform where all of your guys's fan questions will be answered. I want you to tell everyone where they can find you on social media where they can find the podcast and anything else that you're promoting right now.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:36
Yes, so any, any platform that you want to get on my name, Adair, ad AI, R E. Last Name V as in boy, why er ly. If you type that in, you should be able to find me on any platform in regards to our podcast that's realized recognize and we are on all streaming platforms where our YouTube is popping. So go subscribe, we give away a lot of things on there. Have an our next our next season's gonna be awesome. We have even bigger guests coming on so I'm super excited about that. I love that what
Unknown Speaker 1:24:12
number what Episode Are you guys on right now?
Unknown Speaker 1:24:15
Right now if we finished off at 12 Or will be 12 We're gonna do a closer and then open back up and and get it poppin
Unknown Speaker 1:24:27
so Is it is it like every month or bi weekly?
Unknown Speaker 1:24:30
Right now we do them every week but we took a break. We finished out the first season because you know Kevin had his Bible Wonderboy. So we wanted to you know, honor him during camp we gave him about we actually did film during camp we would sometimes we would drive down to Houston where is where his camp was and we film there. But that last week, you know we left alone Yeah, this we always Florida supported where They're fun how cool give them a couple of weeks to kind of get back on track and we're supposed to get them to do soon
Unknown Speaker 1:25:07
awesome okay, well check that out guys and I always put all my guests links. Also I would like to bring it up because I would like to bring any extra monies your way but do you have any kind of exclusive content site? Not yet. No. Okay. Well stay tuned guys.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:24
Stay tuned please subscribe to my YouTube channel. I just I just launched it go to my YouTube channel on YouTube just type my name in and you'll see me on there I got a lot of stuff that I'm that I'm coming out with we just I actually just recorded an interesting fun little segment with a boy Thai fighter of us cracking open fruit with our elbows.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:45
I did see that awesome that's it guys, we're episode 126 with a dare Byerley i It's so fun to get to know people from different industries. I usually talk to the fighters on this podcast but yeah, supermodel Wow, that was
Unknown Speaker 1:26:24
remodel. Yeah. Cool. Super cool.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:27
Super, super intellectual. You know, and I read I feel like an asshole. I'm like a shipper. I can't do a list. I feel like you know, she was a deeper person than I that I bang on bottles. Yeah, I expected but she said it herself. She also said that all the guys were kind of shallow. So but good on her, you know, because she's a very intelligent woman. Super super motivated right now. And also, you know, I really
Unknown Speaker 1:26:59
motivating Yeah, she was. Yeah, I need to step
Unknown Speaker 1:27:03
it up. Yeah, better. I love it. Guys. UFC fight pass is the world's premier combat sports streaming service with over 200 live events, the largest fight library in existence, original shows and more, sign up for one year and get half off for a limited time at UFC fight. pass.com backslash sign up. And next week, we're talking to just say cocking to should we ended that. Next, next week we're talking to actually I don't know, and I feel like I'm gonna stop telling you guys like, I like giving you a sneak peek to like a teaser. But then people let me down. Yeah, the element of surprise. And so maybe I'm gonna stop this, but I'm not gonna tell you who we're talking to next week. Because yeah, just fucking check Instagram guys. I love you. Thank you so much for tuning in. For all your fan questions. You know, they're over there on the UFC fight pass platform, that platform is the shit go check it out, please. It really does help the show. And you know, I think we're coming up on our the end of our contract. So help us out guys. If you like this show, like every week, you're excited. You're like, damn, I get to hear this personal in depth conversation with these high level fighters and or experts in their fields. Please do us a favor. Just get the goddamn UFC fight pass. Subscription. It's worth it. And if you're a fight fan, you know you're not going to just listen to this podcast you're gonna watch some of them documentaries and the old fights and cartoons on there. It's got good stuff okay, help us out while the documentaries needed me. I actually liked the UFC fight pass because it makes me like more like this that our guest right now like a dare she like you know, I feel like she was so educated I'm like I don't even know my sport sometimes but it's important to also know the history and who paved the way and all that and UFC fight pass has all that like right that all you want. Damn you're old soul. You had a blog? No, you're a good you're a fan. I'm just a fighter. Like I became a fan after I started fighting but I know like you and a lot of other people were reading blockbuster movies and pride movies and they're asking alright guys, don't forget to help us out with our website sex violence with rebel girl.com helped me out on my exclusive content site support your girl that way Ashley rebel girl.com And if you guys liked the show, just send it to another person. You know, word of mouth is the best. I really appreciate that. tag me on social media that's at sex and violence with rebel girl and my personal at Ashley MMA. And as always, huge thank you to audio engineer DJ Zol at DJ So on social media tomorrow kids studio at tomorrow kids official and we didn't talk about this in the beginning but we're in a new studio, barbero. We are here in Costa Mesa where we were in Costa Mesa technically on the border of Costa Mesa, Santa Ana. And the studio is under construction, but it looks dope guys. I am super grateful to be here. And yeah, congrats is all so entertainment. Social media, it's all media. We're business people doing business. I love you guys. I'll talk to you next week with a new guest and more tales of sex and violence. But before I go, remember, be kind, be grateful and don't take shit from anyone. I love you guys.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai