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Unknown Speaker 0:40
Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl presented by UFC fight pass the show that interviews top level MMA fighters and other experts in their fields about love, dating, romance, and that AlTi taboo subject sex. I'm your host, Ashley rebel girl Evans-Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence.
Unknown Speaker 1:13
What's happening hot stuff? What is up my naughty listeners and we are back in the studio with a new episode. I'm really excited because this is our second video episode full video episode. Not quite available, but we are testing the waters right now we're going back and forth with edits. And this will this episode will be available for the full podcast will be available very soon. And so will the last one which was episode 132 was Sabina Mazo super awesome chick, we had a great time talking. But yeah, we'll probably just kind of fix some of the tweaks and we're still going to put these out even though they won't be as clean as we're working towards. But anyway, if you're listening in the car to the audio podcast or as you run or on the treadmill or something you probably don't fucking care. So but anyway, let me do what I always do every week, I tell you, the ash update what's going on with me. And something really cool is happening next weekend. If you're a longtime listener, you know that I have a side gig working for up next fighting. And that is a local MMA promotion here in Southern California. It's up next fighting six next Saturday, March 25. And it's 80s night and I almost don't even want to tell you guys, I don't know. What do you think is all should I tell them? What I'm going to dress up as? Or should I be having an episode before? We will? Okay, all right. So tune in next week to hear what 80s icon? Yeah, I'm gonna, I'll be doing interviews. Next Saturday night in full 80s. attire, it's gonna be pretty fun. I don't want to stop talking about it, because I'm gonna give it away. Yeah, I mean, Zoll could tell you and I think most people in Southern California, these fight companies, these fight organizations, you know, they come in they go, but this one's really doing it different. And you know, my favorite part, okay, I'm glad we're actually bringing this up, is they do collaborations with different causes. And the one that they've been working with and I'm really, you know, involved with as well is stop bad meds. And all it's doing is it's a public service announcement headlined, actually, by Danny Trejo machete and it's basically bringing awareness to there's a lot of fake online pharmaceutical drugs, and you're probably hearing about a lot of fentanyl deaths. That is something major, but it's it's everything. It's Ed pills, it's, you know, cancer medicine, it's anything, you know, you're nothing safe, you know, and you think maybe they had everything down to hair growth metal, it's crazy and it just takes one bad ingredient to kill you. And all you have to do is go to safe dot pharmacy, you know, enter this prescription and check you know if it's legit or not, you can be saving your lives or your family's lives. And so what AppNexus fighting is doing, they basically are collabing with this PSA to just shine a light on this and get the word out because that's all it really is, the more people know the more lives are saved and that's fucking it you know? So it's a really cool organization to be a part of for that reason. It's entertaining they put on really really great fights and then they love sprinkling in some kind of like pomp and circumstance you know they had like a Michael Jackson thriller show one time I know they're doing something special for this event as well. So check that out. All their social media handles are up next fighting you know, tick tock Instagram prior house every time it really is. Yeah, they Sell out almost every time. So if you get your tickets up next fighting.com There's probably, maybe general admission is still available, but the general mission usually sells out. And yeah, it's gonna be fun night. Other than that, I mean it oh, there's 16 fights on the card too. And the main event is the one I'm the most excited for. It's a Cisco, Francisco Cisco Rivera taking on Chris, the real deal Beale, both former UFC veterans, and it's just going to be a really cool night because you have amateur starting out the night which those guys, if anybody watches amateur fighting, you know, sometimes that's some of the most entertaining fights are just like, swinging for the fences. And the technique may not be there. But the heart always is. I guess that's it. Yeah. And so and I'm actually going to be doing the commentary for some of those fights, as well as doing the post by interviews and into the pros as well. And working with the schmo. Again, if you guys are fans, he has become my co host, and he is so fun to work with the schmo. If you haven't heard of him, you've probably been living under a MMA rock. Yeah, okay, guys, I'm gonna get to the guest. But every week, I remind you that if you want to support the show, you can do that a couple of ways. That is my exclusive content site. It is like only fans, but better. It's Ashley, rebel girl.com. That's where all the sexy naughty videos are. And all that money also goes to paying studio and whatnot to keep the promotion going. So help us out. Or you can also buy some merch at our website. And that's ash also already said, that is sex and violence. Sex violence. Wow, my bad. Our website is sex violence with rebel girl.com. And our email is sex and violence email@example.com Go buy some merch to help us out or support the show. And if you want to email us anything, it can be a guest suggestion, sponsor the show. And I've just had some of you guys write in and say, Tell me your thoughts. And I really liked that I really, really do. Nobody's ever written anything bad. If you guys just want to vent and you think I suck, whatever, I'll probably read it. But I don't know if I will take it into consideration. And then the rest of the whatnot I always want to tell you guys is Please rate and review the show. It takes two seconds, but it helps us move up in the charts and that lets more people actually get to watch the show. And so that helps us out. All right, guys. Let's talk to our sponsors. Okay, guys, let me tell you about our newest sponsor of sex and violence podcast with rebel girl, EA Tax Resolutions. They are professionals that will help with tax issues and bookkeeping. Whether you're looking to settle your tax debt for less than you owe, or have back taxes that you need to file, ie a Tax Resolutions can help you out. Don't believe me? Check out their YouTube channel EA Tax Resolutions, where they show exactly how they've helped clients in the past save 1000s in taxes. Not only does EA Tax Resolutions help with tax issues, but with bookkeeping. Now, bookkeeping is commonly overlooked by small businesses, myself included as not being the most important however, this is very crucial come tax time. Instead of scrambling for receipts, all your information is organized and most importantly, accurate. So if you have a small business and you're looking for a bookkeeper, ie a Tax Resolutions can help you out. And remember, if you want to learn more about EA Tax Resolutions, you can visit their YouTube channel, EA Tax Resolutions or call them at their 800 Number 1-800-245-0596. Again 1-800-245-0596 Or visit them at their website, EA tax resolutions.com. Today's guest is one of the most successful and diversified fighters in the history of combat sports, having competed professionally in four different sports. He's the former number three middleweight in the UFC, a second degree black belt in Brazilian jujitsu and undefeated professional boxer and an undefeated professional Bare Knuckle boxer. He's won his last eight fights in a row by nako and he's the reigning Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship heavyweight world champion. We talk about spreading yourself too thin as an athlete owning businesses while competing, crazy the theme of mixed martial artists mastering your own mind using add as a superpower, passion and purpose over financial goals. being single is a problem figuring out codependency six months of monk mode in RV, slow and low that is the tempo breathwork to expand mind and spirituality and much more Here's your guest Alan the talent Belcher.
Unknown Speaker 10:43
We're here Alan the talent now are you still the talent as a BK UFC guy or is that just an MMA nickname?
Unknown Speaker 10:52
Um, I don't know, I guess I think that I mean, that's honestly the talent is like a nickname I gave myself a long time ago. Okay. And there was a time where I would try to phase it out and I was like, Maybe I should let that go. And I'm like, Nah, whatever, just embrace it. But yeah, I think when in bkF See, they announced me is that.
Unknown Speaker 11:11
Yeah, I'm like, Okay, I'm 35 I'm like, what? Am I not going to be a rebel girl? When am I a rebel woman? I'm like, No, I think I'll always be rebels. I could be 40
Unknown Speaker 11:23
Yeah, your nickname just kind of like sticks with you. And at some point, you just gotta be like that. That's gotta be the one. You can't change it at this point.
Unknown Speaker 11:30
Yeah, well, you've been doing the competing on the highest level for a long time. Actually, I did my little dig in my partner. He's kind of a MMA nerd. He knows, like stats, and he's like, Oh, LM Belcher. I remember, you know, like back in the day, and I'm looking at my stats. And I'm like, Well, I don't remember him because his his era was right before I got into the UFC. You know, I think you know, your last UFC fight was 2015. And then I got in there December, like 2014. So it's just like, we like tagged hands. You're like, I'm out. I'm like I'm in. You did this amazing. 15 Fight tenure with the UFC. You took a hiatus? And then you came back as a bare knuckle fighter. But could you just jump into that just a little bit? I know. That's a long, long, long winded story. But I just want to know what kind of transformation went on in that timeframe.
Unknown Speaker 12:24
Yeah, and it really is, I mean, I really could go super deep in it. But I mean, the basic, the basic idea is that I got to a point with what in the UFC, see what I started in UFC very young. And I feel like that's probably, that's probably a thing I see with like, I see this with a lot of fighters. But I use, I would say, Conor McGregor. That's what I feel about Conor McGregor is like this, super young, not, not very many fights get in there. And then all of a sudden, you're trying to go all the way to the top. And it's like your, your mental and physical development isn't catching up to your ego. And that, but that was kind of like the my demise is like I got into the top 10 pretty fast. And then I spent five or six years in the top 10 only getting a couple of fights a year. And then I had a I had a break back in 2010 11 was like my was like to the time where I had eye injuries. So like a lot of people remember that. And I had, I had eye surgeries and that kind of that kind of put me on the sideline, it really just kind of ended my career for a minute. So mentally, I've been out of the game twice. So like one and I was just like, Boom done out of it. And, you know, about a year and a half after that. I finally felt were it to a point where I could get back into training. I'm like, Okay, now I can spar and immediately got back got some fights and stuff. And I think that even my, just that whole experience made me grow a little bit as a fighter
Unknown Speaker 14:12
the I experience. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 14:15
yeah, it did. Yeah. Because I just learned a lot about myself. I learned I got to experience that. You know, the feeling of like, man, I was on top and now it's over. I mean, what is really what's my purpose in life? What is this all about? And I really thought deeply about it. And so I got back in and and I went I attacked, attacked it with a vengeance. And I grew a lot I got on a win streak. And really at the end, it was kind of a mixture of not understanding that the weight cut was really hurting my health. You know, and it's not even not necessarily I would even say the weight cut out my My, where I was mentally in my life with everything that I had going on with I was I had a rocky marriage, and I had new kids, new babies, very small. And I had really got into a lot of business like you see, even a lot of lot of fighters nowadays getting into as much business as they can. Yeah. Right. Why, because that's how that's part of why we do this is to climb some type of hierarchy in the world, and to become more successful, and financial as part of that. So it to me, you know, I, I was doing well, but I couldn't really see, as a young man, I couldn't see that if I just stuck it out and got that built, then I would have everything in the palm of my hands. So on the way, I started to, kind of, like get sidetracked with with projects and business ventures. And I mean, just to mention, a few things I did is I didn't just open one gym, I had one mega, like a mega successful gym, opened up to for at one time started a consulting company. And though you know, many, many other things, you know, lots of lots of different projects and stuff to try to make the millions of dollars that I felt like that, that I could that I was, you know, destined to make. And
Unknown Speaker 16:31
this is still in your MMA career.
Unknown Speaker 16:34
This is yeah, this is definitely this is smack dab in the middle of of being a top contender in the in the top 10.
Unknown Speaker 16:41
I'm over here, like I don't even want to like do a weekly podcast because I don't want to take away from my training and my recovery. You know what I mean? And I can't imagine pulling myself so fucking thin that I have this any these business like, yeah, that's wild that and only someone who understands what it takes to train for a professional highest level in the world MMA fight, understands how crazy you are for like, even attempting that. But continue, sir. Continue.
Unknown Speaker 17:07
No, you're you're 100% Right. And I think crazy is the is the right idea that I mean, that's kind of the theme of MMA fighters and the kind of the theme of just hyper successful people in general, you know, and champions of it is there's, there's something that's not quite right. You know,
Unknown Speaker 17:26
I say it all the time. I'm like fight fighting brings out some of the craziest and damaged people. But you know, it's also a very, it combines collects people, but it's very healing community as well, as weird as it sounds, because it's like MMA fighting, but it's like, it can really put put together some broken people.
Unknown Speaker 17:50
Yes, yeah, I think when done correctly, and with the right, with the right guidance to, you know, which I will, you know, I'll never blame my guidance, I feel like, instead, I would have been a much, much more, you know, like, a shell of what I was, you know, and I would have been a lot more a lot worse off and a lot more scattered, a lot less successful and a lot more degenerate. If I was, if I didn't have a guidance and everything, you know, I would probably I really think that that, you know, probably my mentors, and my God, my focus with UFC probably kept me out of prison.
Unknown Speaker 18:34
That's, do you have any mentors when you were having all these different businesses and you were still in the crew in your career? Like, did you have a manager that could say, hey, you know, you're not, you know, you need to focus on one thing.
Unknown Speaker 18:47
Yeah, I would say, you know, the old me, the old me was very egotistical, the old man who is very hard headed, you know, and I feel, I mean, I think those things go hand in hand, right. Like, he go into hardheadedness. And so it was I was like, typical, you couldn't tell me anything, you know. But, you know, I think it was enough, it was enough guidance to, to keep, you know, to help me be somewhat successful or whatever. And I knew in the back of my mind that I was spreading myself too thin, honestly. And it seems like it might seem like something that's not that big of a deal. But I know that it is, I know, I've discovered in this career that the mind is the most important thing. And that's really where I've kind of put my major focus. I've kind of made my life's work and my focus into mastering my own mind, as opposed to being a champion. And I really think that that's what led to this streak that I'm on led to this, this Bare Knuckle belt, it's lead now but it's Sons new doors open, I feel like it's my focus on mastering my mind and developing myself further that is allowed you to this level? Absolutely. When back in the day, it was more of a, I had more of a instant gratification type of man mindset. Yeah, that was very shallow and very focused on like, I want it now and I'll do this it's very all over the place, very add, okay, and from whatever, you know, from whatever, you know, my brain issues are and from trauma or damage or whatever. Add was kind of like a big part of a big part of me going down to the, you know, the lowest levels of MMA in my life a couple of times, and it took me a while to figure that out. I was really against getting any type of any type of help in that area. I just really didn't want to, I didn't even want to a thought that. All I knew somehow that that the way that I operated was a superpower. But I didn't have it tamed. Okay, if that makes sense. But you know, that was always my excuse is to that this? No, I don't think this is a weakness. I have a superpower. But although at the same time it was hurting people, it was hurting other people was hurting myself. So, you know,
Unknown Speaker 21:18
I really want to ask about that. But I want to let you tell your story, because I want to figure out why did you retire in 2015? Why did you come back when you did? You know, I know. You're saying right now that you did a deep dive into the mental aspect. And then that's what got you to the successful level with bake. bkF see now, but what what happened between you know, those businesses? And you deciding, you know, what, I gotta retire?
Unknown Speaker 21:47
Um, yeah, I think, yeah, it's kind of like a deep thing to answer. I think the most, the biggest thing that probably caused my retirement was not recognizing that those, those last couple of hard fights, were really just beginning stages, or the middle of the road of tests that I've been, I could have overcome mentally and grew to the person that I am now. But you know, it's all it's all in a, it's all a, it's all part of the process. Either way, you know, and it's all kind of a equated to, like, where I am now. And
Unknown Speaker 22:32
it's come full circle for you, regardless. Yeah, I just, everything has pretty much come full circle, you know, you think we were basically you were saying how everything kind of happens in due time, you know, whether or not you were going to retire then or, you know, what helped us back then?
Unknown Speaker 22:47
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I guess, yeah, I'm looking at it. And in terms of like, what, if I could go if, if I had it to do over again, it was, if I had the guidance like that, those were tests, those were, those are times where I really needed the growth. But what I did in a way, was kind of just went down a different path. And I went down, I almost ran away from it. And in a way, like, I try, I got to a point to where I felt like, I can't make this wait anymore. It's, you know, that this is, you know, it's really hurting my performance. You know, maybe this time, and I also listen to a lot of the wrong people, too, you know, not to place any blame on any, you know, person in general, but like, the, the, in general, the idea that I got from, you know, just people that are surrounding me is like, you know, basic type of thing, not that there's anything malicious about it or anything, but sometimes people will just encourage you to be satisfied to where you are, and to realize that you put in a great career, look at how far you came from, you know, a small town and you worked your way up and you've done a really good job, I can see that it's really hurting you that, that, uh, you know, you didn't get that UFC title or whatever. But you have done a great job, like, don't keep hurting yourself, you have, you know, had two surgeries on your eye detached retinas. And don't, you know, don't it's okay to just do something and I kind of, you know, at the time, I felt like it was the right thing to do. And I started to, I started to get more involved in my business, and got further and further away from fighting to where it finally I was just like, you know, I'm just, I'm never gonna, I'm not gonna fight anymore. This is I'm gonna have to face this at some point. So let me I need to face this at this age, you know, so my last UFC fighter was 29 and just feeling Like, you know, when you're at different points of your life, you know, whenever you're 25, you're you're 30, you're 35, like you always feel old. Yeah. And then you look back, you're like, Man, I really had a lot. I had a lot of activity done. Yeah. So yeah, I really, I started going down a different path. And that's why, you know, I retired I got, I had some success and other area. But, you know, long story short, in that time that I was that I was out of a game mentally, what I learned was that, it's not always about the end goal of the money, or the success or the whatever, even providing this whatever lifestyle for your kids or whatever it is, it's more about the, the passion, and the heart that goes into it. And to really be happy, you're not you're not, it's hard to have a goal. And I know this might work for some people. But from, from my experience, from what I've seen, that most people that have a financial goal, or a goal of success, or whatever, when they get there, that it's not, it's not good enough. And it's, it's really about finding the passion and a deeper, a deeper connection, if you're doing the wrong thing. Even if you are making money and you are making moves, if you're doing the wrong thing, you will eventually get severely burned out on it. Or you will you'll eventually it'll drive you to a really dark place. If you're not lined up with what you're trying to do at a very with a deeper meaning of what your of what you're doing.
Unknown Speaker 26:50
Can I ask what what did you find that was your deeper meaning, obviously, it's different for everybody.
Unknown Speaker 26:59
For me, it was it's from when I when I took my focus on myself and began to put it on helping other people, and especially my own family and my kids, as I started to see my kids grow up, you know, and I got a divorce not long after stopping with UFC. So within the next couple of years, I wanted to come back in the back of my mind. But just where I wasn't a lot in my life, it just, it just kind of led somewhere else, you know, and so my kids were really small. And that I feel like the divorce really hurts people, you know, worse than then a lot than you understand with a lot of people because you see, it's a very common thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But it's also one of the it's a very damaging thing, you know. So I would, you know, I would, if I was talking to my younger self, or what I've learned is like that, relationships are very, very important. You know, because they can be very helpful, or they can be very hurtful. So, you know, that whole, that whole thing was, was very, very interesting. I learned a lot about myself,
Unknown Speaker 28:16
oh, gotta ask because this is the main, general, you know, topic, love, romance and all that you mentioned, getting divorced, and, you know, having kids and all that, looking back now, you know, you would have put more emphasis into the relationships while you were actively fighting in the UFC? Is that what you're saying?
Unknown Speaker 28:37
Oh, yeah, I think so. I think that relationships, for what I've learned about being in a relationship, is that it's, it's, it has to be intentional from the beginning. I don't know if that really makes sense. But it's, it's, once you're in it. And once you have, you know, you've been in it for a while and it starts to get serious, it's hard to adjust anything at that point. It's something that you have to be intentional on and get yourself you have to know if you can understand yourself, and understand what you need out of someone else or whatever, then you can start to come together, you can find that person, right, you can attract that person. And then you can build something from the very beginning. Yeah, you know, and I think I think that, you know, a lot of relationships are just, they come together for the wrong reasons. And then all of a sudden, you're in this serious thing, and then you're having kids and all this and you know what I mean? It needs to be more intentional on what you're doing, you know, so, by the time you realize it's falling apart, you realize that it's you're too deep in it and you're just trying to make it work and then it's getting worse now you got kids involved and all this type of stuff, you know, so gets really messy in that regard, you know, so
Unknown Speaker 30:04
you were married while you were actively fighting in the UFC or years ago? What What was your status? Now? You know, you're a bare knuckle boxing champion. I just like to ask because I always like to see what kind of support system you know, what do you think helps you? You know, my favorite question is, do you think it's better to be single, while you're actively competing? Or do you think that the support of a partner is best? What's your opinion on that?
Unknown Speaker 30:33
Um, so my opinion, and I think that this will be good for our whole entire conversation is I, I try to avoid being a teacher and telling people what to do, you know, I can only I hope that somehow that I can help people and teach people. But I can only offer my own opinion of myself and where I am. And I think that, you know, everyone's a little bit different. So for me, single has always been a problem. For me, I've been a yes, single, because just too many options, too many opportunities. You see what I'm saying all the others. You know, you just you, it's hard, it is very difficult to be single and to be focused. So I can't, I think that that is definitely very possible, you know, and I actually did that for a while. And before I got into the relationship that I'm in now, which, by the way, I'm in a relationship guy, and a beautiful girlfriend, and she's, she's amazing. She's very supportive. And I think that that is a very, very important part of what I'm doing now. And has helped me tons. But before I got into a relationship with her and got serious with her, I spent about a year where I was just in monk mode. And it was very hard for me, but I knew that I knew that being single, and not chasing girls, so to speak, was that's, that's what I needed to do. I also knew that that was, that was going to be difficult for me. So I didn't want to get into a relationship just to save myself. Right? Which that's kind of the idea of bad relationships anyways, is your you're dependent on someone else for some reason, right? For whatever reason, you're, you're lonely or you're you feel incomplete by yourself. But, you know, for me that my dependency to be with someone else would be to avoid being with all these other people. Right and being distracted. Yeah. So. So it was very hard for me to, to focus on that. But I did it for a good period of time. Which leads to kind of like how this all come back pain happened was I just got into a relationship, another another relationship that was very serious, got engaged with a girl, this girl was a good bit younger than me. So this is like after a married and then my, you know, a couple of years later, or get divorced a couple of years later. Now, this is kind of like my, you know, in my 30s rebound with a super young hot chick. You know, we're getting serious there. And then we got engaged. And there was, again, there's signs of like, this isn't right. This isn't quite right. But we're, but I'm gonna make it work. Right. And I thought and it was somehow my problem, my issue with commitment, or something that I need to do better, you see what I'm saying? And but something that inside of me was really telling me that it wasn't the right situation. So it really just came to a point where I wasn't being fulfilled, like, my passion and my mission in life was really just was was kind of just to make money. Just to so we could have fun all the time. You know, what I mean, travel around and do all this stuff. And like, it was just, it was very meaningless. Right? I was I was kind of feeling like, Man, this is kind of like, life is good on paper. Like, it kind of feels like I'm just retired. Yeah, you know, and like, they just do whatever. And I was very successful.
Unknown Speaker 34:37
But you always felt like you wanted something more.
Unknown Speaker 34:40
Yeah, exactly. I need I needed the just, it just didn't feel right. Okay, you know, and so that's where I really started thinking about doing something, you know, that involved fighting for one thing, but also I started to realize that hey, you know, 3536 years old Old, like, um, I can still do that I can still fight again and like, I don't want to be old and and say, Hey, I could have I could have done it longer, you know, and I started to kind of face some some deeper thoughts of like, you know, mortality and getting older and like thinking about my eye and I really started thinking about it, I'm like, man, what is it worth it to? To go to maybe lose your good eye? Is it worth it to? Would it be worth it to really hinder yourself some way or possibly die in there? And I'm like, and I really came to a point where I was like, Man, I think that, that that is part of being really fulfilled in life is to have something that you'll die for. You know, what I'm saying and forget, you know, having, like an eye injury. And people always, that's always a big subject. And I just at the point where I'm at now, mentally, it's not really that big of a deal to me. It's like, if I, if I do this, and I, and I lose my good eye, it's totally worth it. That is, that's, that's totally on me. That's a, that's a decision, that's a sacrifice that I made to go, you know, to go in the direction that I want to
Unknown Speaker 36:19
go to maybe feel like you're living the most of the years that you have in front of you versus just kind of shelter. You know, how many how many years with two eyes, you know, like versus amazing years with one eye? Like, Oh,
Unknown Speaker 36:35
yeah. Exact weird way
Unknown Speaker 36:37
to say it, but it's like, you know, it's like, we could die tomorrow. Right? You know, and then you have two eyeballs, but how many fights or memories did you make in that timeframe?
Unknown Speaker 36:47
Perhaps, yes. And so I just became very familiar with that, with that way of thinking,
Unknown Speaker 36:53
that's such a very, that's such a powerful thing to hear from you, Alan, because I think it's that really time a month, I'm so emotional. But I was just like, thinking about that feeling of like, you know, like, sitting down and being like, how many times you know, and you said it, everyone always wants to talk to you about your eyeballs, your eyeballs, you know, because it is a big thing. It's, it's huge, you know, and it's like we talked about in the beginning of episode, you gotta be a little crazy, you know, or maybe you're not crazy. Alan, maybe you're one of the few people that it's like, hey, everyone else is living these crazy protected little lives. But you know, I'm gonna go out here and make the most of what I have. I like it.
Unknown Speaker 37:34
That's what I feel. That is exactly how I feel about it. It's, I'm big on, on having a personal freedom. And I will not finally connected that with, with like, my duty to raise my children. It was just an easy decision, an easy decision, because I realized that the life that I was living, was precisely the way that I'm raising them like that what I'm doing is raising the kids. It's not what you tell them, what you teach them. It's what you do. You see what I'm saying? I look at the way my dad operated and stuff up. And I see a lot of the good that I got from him. And I see the bad I got from the way he operated. I don't remember hardly any talks that we had. I just behave like him. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, because
Unknown Speaker 38:24
you can't even not behave like him if you really try it in a way because we see it as such a young age, you know, I've got a lot of unfortunate traits from some of my upbringing that I'm like, damn you parents, but it's in there. So what are you gonna do with it now, you know, good and bad.
Unknown Speaker 38:42
Exactly, you get to a point where you're, you, hopefully are competent enough to then start to heal yourself. And then you realize that, okay, I'm healing myself. And now I can, I can do this differently for my kids. And one of the things I really wanted to do for them is I wanted them to see me, as a successful athlete, I wanted them to see me compete, see me go through the entire thing. You know, even like this last, this last fight for the belts for the championship. They've been seeing me approach this for the last two years, and talk about it. And it's been the goal ever since. So I've made it very clear to them in the beginning, I made a commitment and a very, very hard thing to do was to tell my kids that I'm going to do this over the next couple of years, I'm going to win these fights and I'm going to win this belt. And I knew there's a chance of me losing or something or not going quite that way. But I wanted to make that commitment. And it's just such a deeper thing is one thing when you post it on Facebook and your Instagram company, you're like, Okay, I've done said but whenever you really say it to your children, and it's a spiritual thing. Yeah. And this is, you know, it made me act like a totally different way. So going into this Last night I, you know, I text my daughter, she seems a little bit indifferent about it, but I know that she, she, it really is how is she? She gets her. She's just turned 13 Oh, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 40:13
she's a different to everything.
Unknown Speaker 40:16
Yeah, she's kind of got her own thing going on here there. But she's really, she has picked up, she's becoming very mature. And very, you know, she's starting to gain spirituality and stuff. And we have we connect in a lot of different ways. I think that we're not going back into this would, you know, this, it's kind of like the recipe for that I feel like, of what's happened with her. But my son is very connected, because he's, he's a super athlete. He really is just like a fanatic about all different sports, you know so much about sports. He knows a lot about all different fighting combat sports. And so he understands it. And so I texted him like a, you know, the day before the fight, and I'm like, Hey, I'm nervous for this fight. And he was like, Do you have any, like, what should I do? Do you have any advice? You? How old is your son? My son's 11. Wow. Okay. And so I wanted, I wanted to give him like an opportunity to, you know, to kind of just, I wanted to put a little pressure on him, you know, as it because you know, a lot of these fights. I'm like, Hey, I'm gonna fight. You know, I'm a Texan fight tomorrow, because at least for a day or two, I'm not going to see my kids probably before. So you know, I'll say, Hey, don't worry, don't worry about me. You know, I'm in the zone or whatever. But this time going in this bill, I was like, Oh, I use this opportunity. And so I said, I said, you know, I'm ready for this fight. I know, I'm gonna win, but I'm nervous. Like, what should I do? And so he felt some pressure, like he needed to tell you know what I mean? Yeah, he's like, it
Unknown Speaker 41:56
was a dead dad that dad's asking me something that's about to fight. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 42:00
Yeah, man. And, you know, really, what he, what he texted me back was something that we talk about a lot. And I actually, I kept in our youth from that point. Forward, I use that, you know, in the day of the fight, and kind of leading up to it stuff. He said, don't think about the bad. Think about the good.
Unknown Speaker 42:20
That's adorable, and also very intelligent for an 11 year old. Wow, like great words, from anyone, let alone your 11 year old son. That's cute.
Unknown Speaker 42:30
Exactly. So it's like, all the all the teaching and everything is like, I was at that point, I was like, Yes, that's what this is what this is all about, I get this totally worked. And it actually actually helped me, you know, helped me get very focused and into, you know, a really, a really high level mental spot. And I've never got into before, you know, and I needed it in the fight too. Because I started I started a little slow, and was made some mistakes in the beginning, ended up getting hit in the eye and dropped and whatnot had to come back and when, you know, which I would have loved to win clean, but I really appreciate that it went down like that, you know, I feel like it was, you know, I learned a lot about myself. And so, anyways, I'll continue on that story. I told you, it was a long one. But the time with this girl, and at towards the end, I really, I started to be less, you know, spending more time alone. And that was that was very helpful. You know, so when you're, sometimes when you're in a relationship, you know, I'm not like a relationship. Like, personally, I'm just given my experience. Oh, yeah. From what I know about it, and what I've experienced, yes, relationships become very, you get very close with someone, and even when the late race relationship is Rocky, it's still almost like, there's something there where you're just so tied to them. And then you're, you're arguing about like, Okay, now we've been spending all this time together for a couple years. And now he, you know, there's that whole codependency thing or whatever. It's like, you got to be really careful of that. So that's really what I needed was I needed time to where, you know, it wasn't, you know, I was able to be on my own and think clearly, in terms of you know, what I needed. And I started to I started to get clearer on my on my ideas start to think about, think about fighting again and think about these changes that I really wanted to make. I knew that the businesses that I was doing was although I was making good money and things was was really just draining my energy, stressing me the hell out And she just wasn't it, she just wasn't, she wasn't the right fit. And from you know, it, maybe it was, you know, partially the relationship where I didn't like I said before, I wasn't intentional and develop it the way that I needed to lead it. So it was, it was very clear to me at that moment, where I was just getting that message I was, like you need, there's a few things that you need to do. It's like an awareness of like, when you become aware, and I'm really big on this mentality of like, understanding that, like you said, before, how most people live in this kind of fearful type of thing, it's like a, it's almost like a reactive state. You know, it's almost like an, you know, I don't, you know, I don't want to be like the, the woke person, but like, you know, it's like, you know, a lot of people are kind of asleep, and it's a reactive state that you're in. And the first way that you get out of that, and I was there, trust in AI, like, literally, I would get up early. Because I had a lot of shit to do every day, and I would start pounding coffee, you know, and I will just stay lit all day long on coffee. And like, we were talking the other day in our call the other day, where we're talking about substances and stuff. And I really think that I've done every type of drug and alcohol, you know, and I had not necessarily a problem with alcohol, but I was consistently drinking alcohol almost every single day. At that time, but I really, I think that alcohol really poisoned me and was, it did kind of bring me to a lower frequency for sure, in the way that I operated. But you know, and then I needed the coffee to give me energy. And it's like, sometimes you gotta be careful with these stimulants and coffee is like, you know, really strong coffee, and you're not paying attention to how much it is, you don't need. There's nothing wrong with drinking coffee. But I literally, I don't know what I was thinking before. But I was drinking way too much. And I was keeping myself, your mind mind racing all day to escape from the life
Unknown Speaker 47:16
of ours. Of course, that's the that's the very addictive person characteristics. You know, I'm a sober person myself these days. But when I was getting sober, I caught myself like, piling things onto my to do list so that I would be so busy that I didn't drink, you know what I mean? Like, and sounds like, the way that you used to drink coffee is the very, you know, addict, style, you know.
Unknown Speaker 47:45
So I couldn't, I couldn't sleep at night. So I use Xanax. And when I really, I really needed to focus or trying to light myself up, I would take Adderall. So I mean, I've done all this stuff. And pills and alcohol and shit are like, the worse. But yeah, I got,
Unknown Speaker 48:06
I want to, I want to know how you ended the relationship and went from engaged, unfulfilled to single life, you know, before you met your current partner, you know, and, you know, like, what, what happened in between that period?
Unknown Speaker 48:23
Yes. So during this time, is that that's what I'm kind of getting at is like, at this time, this is the way I'm thinking. And I become I become aware, like I said, of like, I guess that was my point of saying that I was just like, pounding coffee and drinking and stuff every day was like, You're keeping yourself in a reactive state, you know, stimulated or asleep, or, you know, on drugs or whatever, smoking weed every single day. And, you know, then all of a sudden, I came, I gained this awareness of what I needed to do to change my life. And it was this, like, so clear to me. And I think that's like the first step. And if there's anyone that watches this, that can get one thing for it. That is literally, that's the most like you got to understand how to take these steps. And when you're living in this, just your life is chaotic, chaotic, and you're unaware. And you're, you know, the first step is really just understanding what you need to do to change your life. Like I need, if I do these, I need to do these things in order to change and one of the things was breakup with this girl. And so, the very the last, the last big thing that we did was I took this group to Tulum, Mexico, they used to do these retreats where our tech people, and ironically I taught people and brought and speakers and stuff to teach people how to be successful, and how to grow personally and stuff, which is a lot of the reasons why one reason I stopped kind of got out of that coal business is because I wanted to, I wanted to fix myself, because I've always been really just very fascinated, and wanting to gain knowledge on, on how to master the mind and how to develop yourself. And first, you know, but you know, we're all we're all learning, I'm still learning now, you know, so like, we have this group there. And it was a really, it was an excellent, like, you know, supposed to be an excellent trip, had some really good speakers and stuff, a lot of people paid good money to go there. And we went to, to learn but for me, it was just, it was the most stressful, I was the most anxious I ever been. And it was, I had too much stuff going on. And it was like, all of a sudden, like, oh, shit, we're going to Mexico tomorrow. And now we got to put all these things together. And we had this, this big mansion, we had this big thing and all this, but it was just mean that me and the girl at the time, were just really on the rocks. It was just not it was not fun. Yeah. And at that time, I'm like, Man, I'm here. And everything looks like, you know, I shouldn't be, you know, I'm trying to teach people personal growth, and how to make money and how to, you know, build their life. And we're here in this beautiful place and everything, but I'm miserable inside. And I have to make those changes. And I knew that one of the reasons I was so miserable is because I had become aware of these things that I needed to do. You know, um, so I pretty much I just stayed lit the whole time when I was down there. And just kind of got through it, and partied and everything. But I knew the whole time that like coming back, my life was gonna change. I took a bet on the plane ride back, I'm just thinking, I'm just in my head the whole time just thinking, Man, I gotta I gotta make these changes. So we got back home, and I called it quits with her and started to, you know, go in that direction. And then everything started changing tremendously. I sold my house, I found ways to exit my gyms exit that business. And that provided me you know, some, you know, I bought a camper,
Unknown Speaker 52:27
financial question or do whatever you wanted. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 52:31
exactly. So I was like, Alright, I'm just gonna live in my camper and work on myself. Because, you know, I just have high standards in my life. And I know that I need to put myself through this intense like, Monk mode. And then, so I just went, I just went delve in deep. So it was, how
Unknown Speaker 52:51
long were you in? Do what how long were you in monk mode For?
Unknown Speaker 52:58
For? About six months? Yeah, about six months. Very, really intense. Okay. And then. Yeah. And then, at that time, I was, I think, yeah, probably between six months and a year, I met the girl that I'm dating now. And I was very, she'll tell you to it was like, it was torture in the beginning, because I was so careful. You know, and I was, so I was so defensive. And so you know, but it actually, it worked out, you know, so, you know, it's probably different for everybody. But for me, that was the, that was the right thing to do to do it very, very, very slowly, you know, and I kept telling her like, this is, you know, it's going in the right direction, just we have to do this very slow. You know, in that we've gained such a connection and such trust, you know, by going so slow, and I don't think that her I either have done that. Right, before, you know, so, you know,
Unknown Speaker 53:57
that's not the way that society says, you know, you should do things it's like, I mean, nowadays, it's like, you have sex before you even learn someone's last names. You know, it's so wild world out there. You know, it's not though it's not the way that you should, but it's, it's the way things are going nowadays. So to just stop and go real slow. I'm sure your your partner was like, What the fuck are you? You know, you don't look like the kind of guy that's gonna be like, let's let's just go slow.
Unknown Speaker 54:28
Yeah, no. And I think, you know, the main thing I was really slow about was just spending time with her. We only spend time together like, once or twice a week or something, you know, if that really and we're just really, I mean, for probably the first six months or something was just like, you know, texting and talking every once in a while. Well, I
Unknown Speaker 54:49
don't blame anybody who'd go slow like that when you have children. I don't have children. So I don't know what it's like, but I know I will conduct myself way differently. If I had kids in the picture. So it's like, yeah, you gotta get that someone for a long time because people don't show their true colors for a minute sometimes, you know?
Unknown Speaker 55:10
Yeah. And, um, you know, I'm careful. I know that what I feel like I take responsibility for what goes what, you know, what my children see and how it's going to possibly affect. So, you know, yeah, I waited a good year before she even met my kids. Yeah, you know, but
Unknown Speaker 55:27
have you guys been together?
Unknown Speaker 55:31
We've been together pretty much every, like, we were just starting to date and stuff right on I did my first Bare Knuckle fight, but two years ago, okay. And she's been there. She's been there through the whole whole thing, you know, to, you know, and that's been
Unknown Speaker 55:47
so when you were in monk mode, just to clarify the timeline, because I'm just thinking about, you know, you're awesome. You know, bare knuckle career so far, undefeated and being the heavyweight champion. I'm like, were you bunk mode? But it's still fighting at that time? Or were you not even competing in bare knuckle?
Unknown Speaker 56:09
No, Yeah, kinda. Yeah. What's that? Trying to think? Where? Oh, you know what? I still lived in my camper. Yeah. When I fought my first Bare Knuckle fight.
Unknown Speaker 56:16
Okay. Yeah. What a great story. What a great story in a short period of time.
Unknown Speaker 56:22
Yeah, yeah. Actually, because my where I kept my camper was right by right by the coast Coliseum where we're at fought my first knuckle fight was literally like, just right across the street.
Unknown Speaker 56:33
Like what hotel Did you say put you in your like my camper?
Unknown Speaker 56:37
Exactly. I was napping, my camper. And then I just walked over to the venue, my firt my very first one. So yeah. And then after that, I was I was like, Alright, I'm doing that's about all I can take in the camper. I think, yeah. Self is telling me I gotta get in the house. And also in, I gotta give props to my ex wife, too. She was very supportive in that time, because my kids really didn't. I didn't. I spend a lot of time with my kids like, out and about and going on trips and doing things and they really did stay with me that much that time. Yeah. But you know, I just kind of told everybody in my life and stuff what I was doing, I was like, trust me, I have, I have a plan. I'm going, I'm going and I'm just rebuilding myself. I don't like this. I feel like I would have been going, you know, downhill. You know, with like, who I am for the last few years, and I'm going to have to build myself back up.
Unknown Speaker 57:32
That's good. You mentioned something to me. When we were speaking on the phone about meditation, you say you almost you meditate, the amount of meditation you told me I was like, Jedi Master over here, because I really believe in meditation. It's just very hard for me. I haven't gotten into the flow of it. And yeah, yeah, tell us a little bit about the meditation and how it's
Unknown Speaker 57:55
meditation. Yeah, meditation has been really big for me. And I kind of stumbled upon it actually. Because if you go back to the time, like when I was living in the camper and stuff, I wasn't necessarily meditating like I have now I feel like I'm a more, you know, I'm more versed in it now. Like, like a blue belt or something. But, you know, that what really got me into it was Wim Hof. Breathing, okay. And my friend Robbie. It wishes he's been huge in this in my whole my second part of my career and in the mental and the physical and stuff. He's He's a doctor and physical therapy. Oh, nice. We both we both really, are into experimenting with just anything that will help performance. Yeah, mental or physical? And there's no, you know, we kind of really don't separate those types of things. So cool. We, he really got me into the breath work. You know, he got me into breath work. And even, you know, I was I was interested in breath work and exploring spirituality and dabbling in that and whatnot, even back before the, you know, maybe a year or so before and because that's kind of where I was, as I as I got out of that other relationship I told you about. I was I remember feeling like, I really, I feel like I want to explore spirituality. I think I've been thinking about this all differently. And I think that I want to, you know, I think you know, started to learn more about, you know, my brain and I, uh, man, I think I got some, I got some issues I got to work on I got, you know, all this. All that really just gave me confidence and just let me understand myself more. And when I did that to him trip, I brought in a guy that was like a breathwork specialist to me. So he so that was like my first and I'm kind of like sitting back kind of like, okay, yeah, and at that time, I still kind of felt like, you know, there was a A part of me that felt like breathwork. And meditation and spirituality was kind of weird. And you know, kind of like, you know, before I really went, you know, went down that road. Oh, yeah. And so now with my buddy, Robbie, we really got into it, we really got, we got into a lot of different, you know, ways of breathing and stuff and, and I didn't really even connected them together. But I just stumbled into meditation by the breath work. And I started to realize that I'm not sure if you're familiar with the Wim Hof Method. But basically, what you're doing is you're, you're breathing in and out heavily, and your nose and your mouth. And then you hold it out. So it's like, the method is in and out, in and out, in and out in and out you ox you get a lot of oxygen, and then you blow it out, okay, and then you hold. And on the hold, you hold it at first for like a minute or a minute and a half. And you know, the next round, you do it a little bit longer. And then you hold your breath for a minute and a half. You not only hold your breath, but you hold it out. So when you blow Alright, so
Unknown Speaker 1:01:13
I'm like, can I even do that? I don't
Unknown Speaker 1:01:17
know. Yes, you blow it out. Okay, so what happens? What happens is there's not any oxygen in your lungs. So when you go underwater in a pool, right? You breathe in, you go under, and now the oxygen in your lungs is lasting longer. Okay? Now it's going from in your lungs into your bloodstream, right? So you blow it out. So all you got is what's in your bloodstream. So the Wim Hof practice, we're just like, so you have some basic, like, what I'm talking about is, you know, you're oxygenating, your sales and your blood and you're getting the oxygen in there, then you blow it all out of your lungs. So what you have is what you have for your brand and your body. So you know, your practice is you're going to you're going to be able to get more oxygen, and you're going to be able to withstand this resistance and stuff. But what something very interesting happens is you, you, you start to get thoughts of panic, just like if you held your breath under the water. Yeah, right. You're gonna come up for the air. Yeah. Yeah, you're right, you can start to, you start to pay, then you start. So it's also a bit of stress tolerance. And that's
Unknown Speaker 1:02:32
okay. A little light bulb just went off, I get it now. Okay, because we're the connected, I'm like, What the fuck is breathing? And then it's like, the breath is, you know, the lack of oxygen induces a mental, you know, state of panic. And that's where you actually are working on? Probably regulating that state? Yeah, got it.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:52
Yeah. And you're gonna get more you get more efficient, mentally and physically, to where you can work up to the four minute plus rounds cool of holding out. Okay, so, you know, you're holding it out. And then I noticed that thinking doesn't help. You know, it just, you know, what it means to relax? Yeah. Like, obviously, you may be thinking about relaxing, that's a little bit better, you know, but if there's any external thoughts, or any type of, you know, stresses or whatever, those definitely, if you have some type of anxious thought, you're definitely not, you're going to need the oxygen much faster. So what I started to realize was that your thoughts, your, your thoughts are cause physical, you know, I started to make all these like light bulbs, like just like, yes, kind of go down that you start to learn more about it. And I started to realize that when I moved my fingers, or adjust or like, scratch my nose or anything, costs, it's there's a cost to it. Every movement is every physical movement, and every mental thought, there's a cost. So you're, it's a practice. And I didn't even realize that I was meditating. But I just as I started to, you know, as the athlete kind of go down, well, I want to be able to hold my breath longer. Yeah, I accidentally taught myself that. Okay, this is all about being still Yeah, and not thinking. And then as I started getting better, we would go into the two and three, you know, 234 sessions. And then once you got to the end, you're releasing so I'm not sure if you know this, but your lungs is one of the one of two places in your body that releases DMT Oh, no, not so you can really get yourself high from breathing. Wow. And so you're going these, you know, three or four rounds at the end. At the end of the practice one day on the last hold that at the time was probably about like a two and a half or three minute hold on realize that something started to change, I started to instead of just seeing darkness, it became something different, almost a dream. And, and are starting to see a purple little thing. And so me and Robbie talked about so we're going down this, this road of months of discovery of this stuff and not even not even really researching it that deeply, probably will cover what to learn in a book. But it's almost more
Unknown Speaker 1:05:27
powerful, powerful to like, accidentally, yeah, organically. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:31
He's like, man, yeah, if you notice that you like, see this little purple eye. And I was like, Yeah, you see the same thing, you know, and it's like, you know, you see all these tattoos and artwork and stuff like that with this eye, right? Or this pineal gland, or whatever. It's almost almost feel like it's like you can see your pineal gland. But in this is not just this is not just mumbo jumbo stuff. This is literally, if you can look this up, you'll see that when you get into this deep meditation, you actually let go, you will see this purple dot, and the purple dot will then kind of turn into a dot with a circle around, it kind of looks like an eye, okay. And then that develops more into more movement, jellyfish type of thing. And then that will develop into just if you can let go enough and go into that meditation. You can experience experience like a lucid dreaming, that's amazing. Well, you're, you're awake, you're meditating, but now you're experiencing visual dreams. And then I've seen like, some really crazy stuff. So going down on that was like, okay, man, I realized that now I've, I can induce meditation. Right. But you don't, you can't necessarily all the time do go through all this breathing and stuff to get yourself centered like that. Right? Although I do, I think that if you did that every morning, that would be that would be a great way to get yourself kind of centered for the whole day. But I started realize that that definitely after I got myself there, then the your your peace and your calm and your ability to think clearly. For an Add Person, it was just like, wow, this Yeah, this is what I've been wanting my whole life. Yeah, I can, I can think clearly and I'm gonna make decisions. And, and so then I started to realize that, okay, because I used to be just like you. And I said, you know, I was like, um, you know, I've tried meditation, but I hadn't can't really get into it. And that, and it's like, looking back at it, I'm like, don't mean, that's what meditation is, like, when you sit down and you close your eyes, and you try to be still, you are going to, it's a different type of suffering. It's just like you go for if somebody said, I've tried running, but you know, I get out of breath and my legs burn. And it's like, that's the point. That's the practice of it. And guess what, if you keep doing it, you'll be able to go further and you'll be more comfortable in it and that type of thing. So, you know, that's, that's kind of what meditation is. It's like you sit down. And you just try to pay attention to your brain, because your brain. And this is one way I think of it is like you can't your brain when they operate on people's brain. You can't feel that doesn't have like feeling you know, so I think when I'm meditating, I'm trying to kind of feel and see what's going on up here.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:40
Yeah, I actually recently got the UFC gave me it's a device called the core, have you heard of it? Hmm, it is a little ball. And it vibrates. And it's connected to like an app and whatnot, you put your headphones on, and you sit in a comfortable position, and it allows you for someone like me, especially, you know, like my wandering thoughts. It basically helps you focus on the vibration. And that's the only time I've ever felt truly like in a meditative state where afterwards, like, the little device will be like, and you're done. And then I'm like, no, no, no, I just want to stay here and I just stay there. And I'll just sit there and I feel like in another state, and I'm like, that's only happened twice maybe. And I feel like that's true meditation. And I'm like, That shit is hard. I needed a device and headphones and the rights you know, setting and everything Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:33
Okay, yeah, no, that's, that's perfect. I think that yeah, I'm familiar with stuff like that. Like, I think yeah, the vibration sound sound therapy. Like I have some I have some speakers that are like sound therapy speakers, and I have all the bowls and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:51
Okay, yeah, you're all into all of it.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:54
Yeah, I really am. But those types of things are like think Got it. Like, you know, if I'm vibrating, the breathing the sound, those are like things that will help you or like, say drugs like mushrooms or something. These are like ways that you can get somewhere and experience it. So that you will then be you'll then be aware of like, what it is that you're trying to achieve. And I think that's what it is, you're probably just, you know, kind of like, you're working on your attention, like you kind of add,
Unknown Speaker 1:10:29
yeah, yeah, I started micro dosing. And I feel like I don't know if that is, you know, part of your anti, you know, you say you don't do anything anymore, but I do smoke weed, and I do do, you know, micro dosing, and I feel like that has been more of like a medicinal use. I know, everyone's like, yeah, marijuana medicinal, and I'm like, okay, but the mushrooms for sure. The micro dosing like a medicinal and, you know, what are your thoughts on micro dosing?
Unknown Speaker 1:11:01
Yeah, I think it's a good, I think it's a good thing. You know, my, my only, so I have a definitely have done that during, especially during that multimode period, like, I really experimented a lot with mushrooms and, and learn how often to take them in that type of thing. But I think what changed for me was kind of realizing that I don't know, almost like, you want to have like a fix for something that's like, instantaneous, sometimes. So like, I just think that, you know, if you're looking for something, to fix your issue that you have that day, but you're not long term, fixing it for good or fixing baseline, you know, so I think, you know, I think that the micro dosing can have, like, long term effect, for sure. But a lot of, I think the trend with it, is kind of like taking a pill, like for today. And while you're using it, so I think that people just got to be, you know, careful about how they, how they look at it, and what kind of what they're fixing, or whatever, like, with the, with the psychedelics, I feel like, you know, the biggest, the biggest changes have not come from just taking a little bit every day. But taking a big amount, one time, and then experiencing something that is so different, that it can change the whole way that you that you look at life and that because, you know, but I mean, also, that's just my own experience. And that, like I said, Before, you when you were hard headed, you had a big ego, it might take a little bit more to be like, wake up, everything is not like you think it is yeah, you know, so that's, you know, I've had some, you know, some big, so, like, fast forward to where I am now, I don't take mushrooms every day or anything like that I definitely have, you know, I think would be in kind of like a addictive personality have an add? It's like, I always struggle with whatever I'm doing. I'll just kind of do it. Yeah, definitely. I do that now with coffee. I do that with weed. You know, so it's like, I start to use it too much. And then I have to back off forever. But yeah, you know, I'm happy with that I really have learned how to balance it. Yeah, balance it out. Well, whatever,
Unknown Speaker 1:13:34
I got to circle back to the relationship aspects because I really love the transformation, you know, the meditation, everything and, you know, that just changes you. Like, as a person, you know, not just as a partner. And so I'm just kind of wondering, you know, how did you and your partner now me and, you know, just kind of explain a little bit about the current relationship, because I feel like that's so different than the ones you've described in the past, because we grow every year, let alone every 510 years, you know, like, I can't even I would have not wished Ashley 10 years ago on anybody, you know. So, you know, so yeah, I'll go into a little bit about your relationship now if you can.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:18
Okay. Okay. Yes. So like, the, the girl that I'm with now, like back when I first met her back when, you know, I had a gym and she brought our kids to the gym. So like, we've always had kind of, like, some type of, you know, we've known each other, you know, and, like, the area that I live in is pretty, it's kind of small too, you know, so it's like, like, we've known each other for a long time. So, you know, during this during this period, I really I was very careful about like going out or Even using social media and that type of thing, but for whatever reason, when I had I had Instagram on my phone, when one day, and I, for I don't even remember ever literally had an any type of social media contact with her at all or anything, but I just saw her on there and I just had this like, you know, kind of just intuition of just like, man, you know, I really feel like that me and her are have some to I almost like the fit what I have gone through, made me kind of understand her the way that I looked at her before, you know, to now I'm like, oh, okay, and you know that I feel like that, that happens in your life, you know, where you're like, the way that you judge people or judge someone or whatever, and you're like, Oh, I get this person now. Yeah, you know, and she's very beautiful. And she's cool. And she's, you know, she's, she's very beautiful, has a lot of tattoos. So she's very attractive. You know? And, you know, so we really just started talking and, and, you know, just develop from there. I feel like she,
Unknown Speaker 1:16:17
it's good to hear that she knew you before the monk phase, I love that we call it you know, you before the monk phase, she knew, you know, like, I don't know, you probably told her about the monk phase. And then you know, afterwards so it's, it's such a great, you know, my partner now we've been together for over three years. But he we knew each other same situation from the mixed martial arts world, and he knew like, Ooh, a little crazy, her some stories, you know, but now it's like, it's so great. Because when we go through things, I don't have to explain, like, who I used to be to that, you know, and, and he just understands. So I'm like listening to your story. And I'm like, It's good that she, like, had sees the evolution of Alan.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:00
Oh, yeah. 100%. And I think Parker and I both, from the very start, we had this like, thing with being completely honest with each other. You know, and that's probably the most powerful part about, about our relationship and that I you know, I've never really felt like in any other relationships, that I was completely myself and really, you know, could, you know, do this whole thing, and I think a lot of it is like, just committing to completely, like, taking responsibility for everything and changing and working on yourself. I don't have anything to hide. Yeah, because I am growing from who I used to be to the to new person, you know, and so she's been there to witness that and she's been very supportive from the, from the very getgo you know, so yeah, her really our support is just, I love this all she did is she has never given me any type of, you know, negativity, any kind of negative, she always just brings like a positive thing. And, you know, coming out of that monk mode was like, I was I wasn't going to accept any type of you know, I didn't want to get into your relationship. Honestly, I was starting to I had started to develop this kind of way of thinking of just like, man maybe I'll just be single forever maybe I'll just Yep, you know, I got that way of thinking so you know, and that's what I was explaining earlier about taking it slow is like I was I kind of already got my mindset and like No, I'm not gonna be in serious relationship.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:42
That's always how it works and that's always how it works it's like as soon as you have mastered yourself that that's exactly what happened with me I got sober I was four months sober just running eight miles a day not quite you know, I was still at the stay busy you know kill yourself mode but I've graduated from that but you know, and then through here comes my boyfriend walking into my life and I'm like, No, I am on this path but when the love is right you know and when you're at that you know self you know that that growth start of your of your life and then you find the relationship like it and you and that person is positive it's like fertilizer on the new you you know, it's only a good thing.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:26
Right and you both you both earned it too right in a way like you didn't even give him You didn't give him your all this stuff that you worked on. I'm sure that it was like you know, it's not easy the what you had kind of build and turn yourself into and you're proud of that. You don't want to just go back down on the road that you weren't before. Yeah. So you were you weren't you wanted to make sure that it was it was the right move, right. Sure.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:53
I understand what you're what you were you were at that point in your life. You're like, wait a second, I'm ready to do me but you know, You coming into my life might affect my plan of, you know, self discovery and bettering my life and whatnot, but I'm happy that it's working out.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:08
Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, thanks for sharing that too. That's cool, too, kind of the same thing. That that's pretty. That's pretty common. And that's like, you know, that's where you see, I feel like real truth is whenever it's like, this happens, it's not always exactly the same. But I mean, there's something to it. I mean, work on itself. Yeah. Because no, it is. I mean, that's what you attract.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:33
You know, it's like you and I probably were both radiating this very self sufficient happy energy and that attracts people, I think, you know, and so then you get that, that cycle of like, damn, I just got on my own. I was just happy and then I met someone and you're still happy. That's not what I'm saying. But, you know, you think you're like, okay, I'm okay being single. You know, and once you've like, mastered your own mind, and then incomes that person Yeah. Well, let's, let's, uh, end this with some fan questions. So for those of you watching and listening in or you're not going to follow us to the UFC fight pass platform. You suck, but no, not those that. Please. Alan, where can they find you on all your social media? And then would you even talk about when your next Bare Knuckle fight is when you're going to defend the belt?
Unknown Speaker 1:21:24
Oh, yeah. We didn't hardly talk about fighting at all.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:29
Unknown Speaker 1:21:30
I don't know. I don't know. Possibly possibly July but I had a four or five contract with BT FC. So we're, we're negotiating now. So it's just I'm in the phase now where it's like it's like money time it's payday. It's big payday time I've went through I went through a lot in the last few years. Definitely not coasting I need a new I need a new big goal you know so I'm really interested in continuing boxing to which I know you talk about that much but it's like I've thought four times in bare knuckle but also had thought boxing matches in the last two years to something non fight win streak so really, you know, I'm really interested in doing doing some big boxing matches too. So fair enough gold belt. And so the future for me is defending the bare knuckle belt and winning more belts and boxing and you know if the money makes sense in everything doing MMA or something, you know to kind of put a little icing on the cake.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:37
Oh shit, okay. All right, I like it and then any your social media handles that you want to shut up
Unknown Speaker 1:22:44
I'm just Alan Belcher official on Instagram and Instagram and Twitter and
Unknown Speaker 1:22:51
yeah, all the rest of those things all right, cool. That's yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:22:54
I don't have all the handles are the same and I think you can find me if it's
Unknown Speaker 1:22:58
it's out there guys and I'll I stick all your handles down below in the show notes as well.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:24
Alright guys, that's it for episode 134. With Allen the talent Belcher very insightful, very philosophical type of conversation different than what we normally have. And I appreciate that it actually reminded me a little bit of the Bruce Leroy Alex Caceres. Interview a little bit where we talked about a little, a little more, a little deeper, not just, you know, surface level experiences. And so it was really great to get to know Alan and I hope you guys liked this episode. Next week. We have an interesting guest. We always do combat sports athletes, but I try very hard to mix it up for you guys. Sometimes I'll have an actor or adult film star musician. Next week, we have a mental coach, a mindset coach. His name is mindset. Mike. Mike Moore is his name. But if you want to check him out on social media, it's at mindset underscore, Mike. His little bio is pretty interesting. It's He's a former FBI and certified crisis negotiator turned mindset coach to top athletes, teams, UFC champions, and businesses. I'm really excited because he's a former wrestler who actually has a website called wrestling mindset.com Created by wrestlers for wrestlers, that's my background. And so I always resonate very well with wrestlers. I can't wait to have him on the show. pick his brain. You know, I'm getting back into the cage in the near future. So this will be good for me. as well as you guys tune into that, and please don't forget to always check out our website and buy some merch or email the podcast if you want and those links are sex violence with rebel girl.com or sex and violence firstname.lastname@example.org And lastly, you can always check out my exclusive site it is called Ashley rebel girl.com. And don't forget to rate and review the show it's very very, very easy you can just go to your apple go pause the show real quick click in the right hand corner of the plus sign boom and you're good to go. That is it. Special thank you to DJ Zol who's here every week with me you can hear him in the background say Hazel Hey at DJ Zol on social media tomorrow could studio at tomorrow kids official on social media and myself at Ashlee MMA. And if you want to follow the podcast page, it's just at sex and violence with Rebel Girls spelled out. Thank you guys again. Remember, be kind be grateful, but don't take shit from anyone. I'll talk to you guys next week with a new guest and more tales of sex and violence. Bye
Transcribed by https://otter.ai