Ep.75 Justin "La Maquina" Governale
Sex and Violence Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebels, where we interview top level MMA fighters and other experts in their field about love, dating, romance, and also taboo subject, sex. I'm your host, Ashley, rebel girl, Evan Smith. Let's talk about what's happening the hot stuff?
Unknown Speaker 0:52
What is up my naughty listeners? Okay, we're back. I'm super excited. I apologize. We're a day late. Normally, our episodes come out on Friday but had some shit to take care of in Las Vegas. And if any of you follow me on social media, at Ashley MMA, then you saw a big ass needle going in my shoulder over the week, this this past week. And basically that was stem cells. There's a couple other little things that they injected. You know, all Bousada approved. The UFC, after much deliberation, brought me out to Las Vegas, and I saw their doctors and got all new imaging and we don't really know the specific problem. I've been having residual pain in my shoulder and in my neck after my spine surgery that I got, actually almost exactly a year ago. I think it's like, a week away from the one year mark. And yeah, just kind of sucks, you know, cuz everybody's like, are you gonna keep fighting? Are you you know, are you retired? I'm like, No, guys, I promise. I'm not fucking retired, I'm doing everything I can to get back in the cage. It's just, it's like something. It's nothing. It's, it's like nothing I've ever experienced. I've been very fortunate to never be really injured. And it's just been a motherfucker coming back from the spine surgery. And so anyway, the stem cells are now in my body as of yesterday, so I'm a little sore today. I've got them in my body before actually kind of the same area. But the first time I got stem cells was a couple years ago. 2017. And this is not a good story, but fuck it. You know, you listeners know, I don't drink anymore. And I don't do anything else. That's super naughty. But this night in 2017, I was old Ashley. And right after I got those original stem cells. I said fuck it. And we went and drink some 40s. And me and so my girlfriend's we climbed over the fence of a cemetery. I don't know. It's like high school shit, but we were just drinking and hanging out. And yeah, it was just not what you do. After you get stem cells, you're supposed to rest and eat good and take care of your body so that the stem cells can do their job. Fast forward a couple years. So brashley is not down with the party life. And so I'm just trying to rest, eat good, take my vitamins and get back in the cage as soon as possible. For those of you who have been following along with my journey, I apologize. It's probably pretty fucking boring at this point. But it is my life and it is my podcast. So you guys have to fucking listen. And yeah, next week, I actually get one more injection PRP in my knee. So then, you know, give it a couple weeks to kick in. Basically, after the new year, I'm hoping that I'm back to training like normal. Because if you guys seen any pictures of me lately, I'm very fluffy, but I can't help it. Okay, it's hard to be in shape when you can't work out. So I'm trying to embrace the thickness. My boyfriend is very happy about that. But he has a rude awakening coming as soon as I can run and get back down to fighting shape. That's where my heart is, you know, so I'm just trying to not go crazy and feel extremely insecure with my body. And, you know, just the fact that I feel trapped inside my own body every day that I can't train. And that's actually why I've been able to be as consistent with the podcast for you guys and for my own sanity because it gives me something to do. Stay connected with the mixed martial arts world, meet a lot of cool people and showcase my fellow fighters like I'm doing today. This next episode, this episode this interview today sorry is really special to me because, you know, my former teammate and I were on the same team together for five fucking years like you get so close to someone when you train and and compete and you know, share memories and bleed and sweat together. So He doesn't live in California anymore. He's living out in San Antonio, Texas. And he's killing it in life. And I'm really excited to share him. But I wanted to give you the injury update. Another funny story I want to share with you guys, if you guys have been to Las Vegas recently, you know, there's a place called area 15. It's really popular right now. It's like a large warehouse where there's a whole bunch of art installations. So like, you know, you walk in, and there's just different rooms, and they're different themes. And this is a cool place for anybody. But it's very cool if you partake in cannabis, or maybe even fungi. And this, you know, I don't know, a little bit of old Ashley came out. And one of my home girls had some fun guy. And so I said, Fuck it. And so me the boyfriend and two of my girlfriends, we kind of did the Alice in Wonderland thing, we, you know, ate the mushrooms. And, man, if you guys haven't checked out area 15 You should check it out. It's beautiful, you know, on an artistic level, but you know, just in general, it's it's nice, something different. It's not, you know, there's a there's a bar in the middle, and you can drink and do whatever, but it's just, it's a really cool place. And I may have thrown up in the bathroom, and then spent about five hours in my car with my boyfriend. Just telling each other how much we love each other.
Unknown Speaker 6:31
And I mean, I had a great time. I know, from the outside, someone would be like you spent five hours in a car. But yeah, we just, you know, got very deep with each other connected. And, you know, frankly, it was something that needed to happen. It's like as humans, and I mean, maybe we should bring in McCall uncle creepy. Our first ever guest actually, that'd be really cool. I feel like what do you think? So maybe bring them Yeah, loop it back around. I think we should bring in McCall back on because he's just an interesting guy. And the whole time, you know, it's been about a year and a half since we talked to him. He's always working towards psychedelics, or advancing psychedelics, for medical, for health, for health reasons, you know, psilocybin is the proper word, I guess you would say. And there's a lot of benefits into taking mushrooms micro dosing, I think specifically, maybe not eating an eight at a time, but you know, whatever. So, Osada does not, you know, there's no regulation for mushrooms, so fuck it. And yeah, and I really did feel a very big therapeutic help, it was just nice, especially for relationships. I know, I'm not, I'm not a therapist, I'm not qualified. And I'm not giving any advice. I'm just saying my own personal experience, it really helped both of us break down walls that we were holding, for no fucking reason, you know, like, you have like shame walls or fear walls, because you don't know what your partner's gonna say about certain things. And this situation, just those walls melted away. And we got to say what we really felt. And who knows, maybe we didn't say those things for months, or months or a year or something. And now it's, you know, it's very corny, and cliche, but, you know, relationships are all about communication. And we communicated on a extremely deep level. And it was beautiful. And, yeah, and we also, you know, trip balls, but it was a great weekend, all in all, a beautiful romantic experience with the boyfriend, you know, obviously, we went home and had lots of crazy sex, and then just leaving, they're leaving Las Vegas with stem cells, and ready for like, this new chapter of my life. Like I just, you know, I miss fighting so much. I miss training, I miss challenging myself, getting better on on a skill level, and, you know, learning new techniques, and I miss it, guys, I miss it so much, but bear with me, you know, I'm doing everything I can actually I found out that I might have a top rib out of place, which just adds to the pile of injuries. But, but now I'm gonna start seeing a specialist who is, you know, specializes in top, top ribs being out of place and all that. So it's good news. It seems like a lot. It is a lot but I have a plan and I'm staying fucking positive. I don't know how I'm doing it. It's been a roller coaster. But at this point, it's like I know the end has to be near. Right? Please universe. It's got to be near it's been almost a year. And even if it takes a whole nother year, the way that I look at it. I'm fucking halfway there. Right? It's better. I'm better now than I was a year ago. So and way better now than I was two years ago. So anyone else dealing with injuries? I fucking feel you. I'm sorry, but stay positive. Put your time and energy into something else positive so that when you get back to your normal life, you have something to show for your time off. And that's what this podcast is for me. And yeah, I'll fuck it. I'll end there, guys, but a couple little
Unknown Speaker 10:13
you know, whatever so that always every week I tell you guys the same shit, right? The fights, check out our website, you know, you can email me and that's the same thing. There's fights this weekend, we're also doing a giveaway. Okay, so if you go to our website, which is sex violence with rebel girl.com, you can buy a shirt and automatically be entered into a giveaway for free and free signed UFC glove. And that's, you know, pretty cool. I just want to do something to you know, drive some traffic and give you guys a gift in return. I think I want to do this, you know, every couple months. And if you guys have any other suggestions, would you rather assigned a t shirt or picture or something else, you know, we can do that as well. I always respond to every email. So if you're thinking about something, you're a big fan of this podcast, talk to me. I really, really appreciate you guys. Me and D Jaisal. I feel like I mean, this is a one of my favorite projects to work on. And I love getting the feedback from you guys. Sometimes you guys give me guest suggestions. You know, we've gotten sponsors from the emails and that's another thing. If you email it's sex and violence firstname.lastname@example.org Guest suggestions. Anything you really want there we sometimes if you want to tell me a story, like a funny story, an embarrassing moment anything related to sex or violence Fuck it. If it's not too crazy, I will share it on the podcast. If you want me to withhold your name I'll just use anonymous. So tonight guys the podcast is a daily so tonight the fights are back I'm very excited. They're at the UC in Las Vegas. I'm actually back home I could I was just there but we've got number four ranked Rob font battling number five seated Jose Aldo and that's the main event then we also have number 12 ranked lightweight contender Brad riddle who squares off against number 14. Hoffer yell fuzzies in a striking of fans and dreams that one is going to be a really good striking match. The rest of the car looks pretty amazing. We got one of my favorites clay Guido versus Leonardo Santos Yep. De Jaisal clay Guido fan as well. Then we have two or five pound match. It's a Jimmy crew versus Jamal Hill Jamal Hill I'm rooting for him. He's teams sucker punch. And yeah, just a young kid. Super powerful, super talented. Brendan Allen versus Chris Curtis. And the prelims. We've got a whole bunch I'll just name a few. Maki patole. Oh, he's also Sucker Punch versus a disco.
Unknown Speaker 12:49
Tora Dory. Oh, I can see that name. Sorry. Jake Matthews vs Jaya Jeremiah wells. Cheyenne. visma vs. Mallory Martin. That's a strawweight match. Ooh, this is gonna be good. William night versus Alonso meta fields. And Mickey gall versus Alex Morano and a QA Oh, actually, one more. A local guy Louis smoker versus mints mirallas Bantamweight. It's pretty good card, guys. Check it out. Yeah, that's about it for the you know, boring stuff, giveaways websites email me. Even if you guys want to promote your brand, or company on the podcast, we're always looking for sponsors. But for now, let's talk about our favorite sponsor, perfect sports. When choosing a supplement company, most would think it's an easy choice, but it's not. It's a matter of pride. You have your goal set to become who you were meant to be a decision, a moment in life when you decide to be more, to be great to use everything you can to be more than who you were. I choose perfect sports as my supplement company. Because perfect sports has been dedicated to providing top pros and athletes with the absolute highest quality nutritional supplements for over 18 years. Since 2003. Perfect sports has been the choice for the most dedicated and discerning MMA and physique transforming athletes who demand the very best. Perfect sports is known for their product, diesel, New Zealand whey protein isolate. It's a pure grass fed pasture raised protein that comes exclusively from the isolated island nation of New Zealand, virtually free of lactose with a 90% protein yield. Even people who feel that they might be sensitive to dairy, love this protein. I'm really most excited because you guys know me about their newest product, the diesel vegan that will be ready in about a month so stay tuned. But they aren't just a protein company. They've got products for bulking and leaning out products for strength and recovery, pre workout or health and Wellness to keep your immune up during these unprecedented times by online at www dot perfect sports.com and use code rebel girl for 20% discount. Connect with them on social media for all their latest product releases and giveaways. That's at perfect sports TM, again, connect with them on social media for all the latest products and giveaways at perfect sports. TM choose perfect sports. Be great. Today's guest is an American mixed martial artist jiu jitsu black belt, former Marine Scout Sniper, open mic comic and dog rescue advocate. Originally from Laredo, Texas and currently living in San Antonio, Texas. He's fought in Bellator MMA combat to America's King of the Cage and a fury fighting championships in places such as Thailand, Mexico, Israel, and Brazil. After the 911 attacks, he vowed to join the Marines when he turned 17 and in the heat of the Iraq War, he enlisted for the infantry after his mother cosign for him. With a pro record of seven and seven. He's decided to give the MMA game one last run. We talked about poopy pubes Apple Bottom gene military dance, one finger in the bum club chasing the sexual dragon sex under a bridge and dumpster first VHS porno experience grandpa's deathbed advice on marriage and much more. Here's your guest Justin LaMattina governor.
Unknown Speaker 17:12
Okay, we are here with Justin la macchina. Governor. All right. And let's start right off the bat. How did you get that name? la macchina.
Unknown Speaker 17:23
Oh, man. It's because I'm a machine and it's Spanish. So? No, honestly. Oh, um, Whatever, dude, long time ago, right? I'm talking like 2010. And it's long time ago. 22,009. Maybe I went down to Brazil. And I went down to the party, if you will. Right with a buddy. And yeah, man, whatever. I like, hooked up with some girl. Right? And then I hooked up with another girl. And then I hooked up with a third girl. And when I left the room, you know, they speak Portuguese. They said something, something something Mokena and, and all these girls just started pulling on my shirt. And they were like, mocking, mocking mocking and I'm like, Ah, and then I went in with girl number four. And then he's so bad. I can't believe I'm sorry about this. I really don't care though. I don't care anymore. Right. I talked to my grandpa and he was all still. Okay. Yeah, man. So then I end up switching with my buddy. So there's ended up being girl number four and five and one night. Honest to God, what's the best night of your life? It's that night, right? And so whatever. We're done, and then we leave. And then this dude standing outside, like some security who's standing outside in a suit. And I'm walking out dude. And it's by this time, it's like, 11am The next day, who's fucking very fun night. And I'm leaving. And then this guy's like, oh, and he looks at me. He goes Mokena and my friends like, yeah. Yeah. Like somehow, someway. They like told them like, hey, around is like messed up years, or whatever. Say Mokena. Right. And so we I was working with a dude in Afghanistan, and we were on vacation. So we went to like, Excuse me, we went to Argentina, Brazil, South Africa for a little bit in Dubai. And now we're done. We get back to contract. And my nickname was ears on project, right? Because my ears are all messed up.
Unknown Speaker 19:27
Cauliflower ear got it. But, but he started calling me
Unknown Speaker 19:31
mocking and everybody started calling me mocking because I would tell a story. I'm telling it in the most PG version that I possibly can. Because you get put out on the internet these days. And we live in the day and age of like, you know, like accounts you for everything, but it was long time ago. Old me. But then there was a I was supposed to fight for combat Americas and then I had heard when it just came out in like 2015 or something. They were like, hey, they're looking for Hispanic fighters. My mother is actually from Mexico. So I'm like, Well, you know what, I'm just gonna change my nickname to Makina which is the same in Spanish and in Portuguese and they asked me why I say it's because I'm a machine to machine it's not a fighting machine knows. But yeah, man, that's how I got my nickname.
Unknown Speaker 20:19
That's a great story for this podcast. Justin. You know what? This is a judgment free zone. I know you everyone will know you after this podcast.
Unknown Speaker 20:29
Jump in free your judgment free right? I don't know. Like my mom's I guarantee you my mom will listen to sorry, Mom. Oh, my God. Your mom his mom. Mom. I'll say feel safe sex. I pulled out. We're good. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 20:41
Okay. LaMacchia that comes from a night where you being multiple women in Brazil. I love it. That's great. Well, Justin, thank you for coming on this show. It's been years since we've trained together but we did train for five years together at sup fighter MMA. Over here in Orange County. I know you're in San Antonio, Texas now. What do you been up to since we stopped training? You know, are you still fighting? What's the future look like for you?
Unknown Speaker 21:08
So I was supposed to fight in September. I showed up midway and dude, it's Phil's ninjas ForcePlates and dealing Justin land he's up those who are veteran for belts are like two three times. Right? Cool. It's gonna be a good matchup. And I was meaning to do that. 140 Because he couldn't make 135 And I thought it 45 o'clock I thought it 155 At one point right and then I'm a 30 fiver so I'm like well, let's meet at 140 Bro cool shows up 14 pounds over 14 pounds 14 pounds over bro 14 pounds like I'm still pissed. Like I've never I've never tried to fight somebody outside of MMA other than before started training. I mean it's happened right a couple of times but I mean I've never confronted somebody if that makes sense.
Unknown Speaker 21:53
Yeah, it was like such a disrespect and I even make weight yeah and so
Unknown Speaker 21:57
like this was real like after the after he fought he got choked he ended up fighting at 155 you they're like hey you want to just drink water gain a pound this other dudes opponent Mr. Wade as well so they let him fight he still gets he gets choked right but um. That the commission would not let us fight because it's within there's a some you know percentage and the most you could have been a part of was eight pounds so Commission's like fight is not happening this is on safe and he wasn't like a sort like a chunky 14 over he was like a shredded 14 pounds is ridiculous. You but yeah, let's let's fight. And then he fights and then he gets choked. And then I see him after the fight and he's like, Hey, man, he's got a black eyes guy just wanted to apologize. And I'm like 14 stocking bounds you know I'm getting all in and people get in between us. He's like I said, I'm sorry dog this and people are pulling this back. And people are like, Yo, you really tried to fight this guy after you got beat up and I'm like I did try to fight this guy after he got beat Yeah, straight up. You'd like kick man when he's down? Yeah, honestly, dude, I hope like I hope right now he dies in the fucking car crash knowledge kit super dark. I'm
Unknown Speaker 23:04
kidding. But you know like people don't understand fighters understand that this is how we make our money and it takes a lot just to to get through a fight camp and then to not get that payday you know when you do your job, but your opponent doesn't there doesn't do their fucking job. It's disrespectful. It's awful. So I understand. Fuck it.
Unknown Speaker 23:23
Oh, space, bro. Like, I'm a respectful human in the fight community. But this is the one opponent that I'm like, fuck that guy. We all have that one opponent. Yeah. And he was like, and he was like, Hey, if you want dog next time, we'll run it back and I looked at him. I was like, what? Why do you deserve Why do you deserve a fucking another chance after you do some bullshit like this? Why do you deserve it? Tell me and then the guy was like, Hey, you're right, dawg. You're right. And the cat. Anyway. So I was supposed to fight him. I'm possibly gonna fight. Casey Jones on February February six. Right. So I've been training this whole time. I also have a whole last career. Which is, you know, I worked for a black rifle Coffee Company, and I'm doing some good stuff with them. It's a great company. They legitimately love veterans. And I'm just I'm happy to be there. Do you?
Unknown Speaker 24:10
Nice. What do you do for black rifle?
Unknown Speaker 24:13
Oh, I'm currently I make I work in paid advertising. Right. So I like I got my degree in marketing from Cal State Long Beach, using my GI Bill. And if you ever talk about something on the phone, like, Man, I really want some spaghetti sauce. And it's like super specific. And then you open your phone and you're like, oh my god, I'm getting ads for spaghetti sauce. And it's for people that are nicknamed LaMacchia. Yeah, it's me, bro.
Unknown Speaker 24:37
Okay. All right. And then so you have the black rifle coffee job. You're training and I also know why never seen you live but I know you're doing some open mic stand up comedy. When do you do that? When you find find time to do that with you know, training for MMA and this other job?
Unknown Speaker 24:56
Uh, pretty much I smoke meth. But no, I, I do we do a, like a creative writing session once a week we call it Dojo at the blind Tiger Comedy Club. And it's kind of where everybody gets started in San Antonio, it's actually a really good room, dude. Like, it's an actual show. It's not that one's not an open mic. But it's, it's funny, dude, it's a there's like a children's restaurant where all these people dress up as like characters, right? And they dress up like, you know, superheroes, etc, etc. And you go to the bar, because there's a bar there, but it is a children's restaurant. And then to the right of the bar, there's a door, and you open the door and you go downstairs, and there's a basement with a whole last comedy room, dude, and there's stage with lights and everything's badass. And so I've been doing them there. I've done like, a couple times I've performed at lol in San Antonio. And then I've done some open mics there. But dude, it's it's awesome, dude. Like, I feel like doing comedy has definitely helped other avenues in my life, right? You know, you get on a podcast, it's the same thing. Like right now. Just holding a microphone and being under scrutiny, like you're trying to explain detail A, B, C, and D. Also, there's a time crunch. Like, it's it's good man. It's like public speaking. And believe it or not, you have to be not clean per se, but clean earth and you would typically deliver something than if it was just meeting you in a room. Right? So it's, it forces you to be creative. And when I find the time, I don't know where I find the time do I do it though?
Unknown Speaker 26:33
Do you? Okay, so the way that you're speaking right now is a little censored because it is canceled culture. You know, you and I go way back, but you wouldn't speak the same to me as you would to everyone on the internet. So when you do your comedy, I feel like even though it is canceled culture, you can get away with more are you as raunchy as you would be with your close buddies on stage?
Unknown Speaker 26:56
Um, so again, this is interesting, man. Like a lot of people don't know this. I didn't know this. But the first time I went out there, I was like, pushy, pushy, fuck balls, right? And etc, etc. So, in the, in the comedy realm, in the comic realm, they call those cheap laughs right? Anybody could get up there and be like, balls, Dick puts the ball and stick pussy. Haha. Cool. How many times? Is that all been done? All the time. Right? Yeah. So a b, if you ever want to make it to like perform in like clubs and you know bigger venues at&t center or be on Comedy Central. You can't be Dick balls pussy all day. You know, I'm saying Yeah. So you have to you have to really get creative in the way that you deliver things. And you have to get, you have to again, you got to be creative. You can't just say the things you want to say. A lot of the comics will be like, Hey, bro, it works for you. But it's been done before, bro. You need to you need to change it up, dude, you got to be different. You're like, damn, okay. Also, no club is ever gonna hurt you. And you're like, Okay, so if you look at the history of a lot of comics, typically they start off and they're super raunchy and dirty. And then they clean up. And then once they make it they they've earned the right to say whatever the fuck they want. Right. Okay, does that makes sense? Yeah. So, so for me, for instance, I've got this joke about like, I posted it the other day on my from another time I did a podcast, my first set that I ever did my first tight five minutes was about like when I was in the Marine Corps during don't like, I set it up. I started on like, I started the Marine Corps during Don't Ask Don't Tell people like they chuckle and then I'm like, however, the Marines made me gay. kind of laugh and I think it's long story without delivering the bit. It's like, you know, some drill instructor caught some kid laughing and he's like, Oh, you want to laugh? You want to be gay boy, so he's getting naked get naked right now. And then people kind of get uncomfortable. They chuckle and then I pause again. It's like, it's all about timing. You pause and you're like, because that makes sense, right? And people start laughing. And then instead of saying, literal Dixon balls, were touching my Dixon balls. That's the That's the truth. Right? That's how I remember it. Yeah. However, you can, you could say like, wieners. were touching my wiener. Right? Yeah. And it's wonder because winter is a funny word. Right. So now you got to get creative, right? I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to Comedy Central and talk about how my leaders are touching other leaders. Right? Yeah, that's another conversation. But you know, it's just you got to be really creative. And there's a lot of comics who have been doing this for a minute, that are like the mentor you do. You do this creative writing session once a week and you're like, Okay, I want to talk about this and that, and then they'll be like, Why is that funny? You know, I don't know. It's funny. They're like, Why bro? Why? And you're like shit, and they start asking serious questions, or I've been up there and they're like, Hey, man, I've heard your bit. Honestly, it's it's trashed. Like, why'd you get all pissed off, but that's equivalent to somebody being like, Hey, bro, like an MMA coach being like, Hey, brother. I love you, man. I love you. I do but You stand up, you stand up sucks, dude. Like you need to fix your stand up right? Imagine people jam and you get mad like dude, Adam Lin right old coach. Yep, my last my pro debut dude. And it's so stupid of me. Looking back, I've got 21 fights with professional amateur and 14 professional. And it came to a point where, like, Dude, I lost that fight. Now granted, I fought at 155 Professionally, I got two profiles and 155 I'm five five dude. Like, I walk it when I walk in 162 Yeah, right. This is it was ridiculous for on my behalf right But dude, he kind of just use this length and there were three minute rounds and he beat me up for three rounds. And then I'm done. And Adams like, Alright, man, have a good night. You okay to drive home? I'm like, Yeah, I said, Hey, man. I don't care. They I mean, like he he won to the judges, but I don't care what anybody says. I'm tougher than he is. And then Adam looks at me. He's like, Alright, dude. Fuck, stop. Stop. Right. All right. Maybe you are. Maybe you are tougher than him. But tonight, he was tougher than you. All right. Give him that. And I was like, and I got in my car, dude. And I didn't show up to the gym for like, a week. And I was like, these tougher than you motherfucker. And I just, dude, I would like I couldn't even masturbate I'd be like masturbating like you Tiki stopper and I could get hard for the whole week. Not too soon. Tough crowd. No. But dude, like, that's, that's all I thought about for a week. And then you come to terms and you're like, you know what, bro? I'm not gonna improve if somebody didn't fucking say it. So you know what he was? Because when I should have given up that takedown, I fucking gave it up. You know, of course,
Unknown Speaker 31:36
it's all about accepting constructive criticism. That's why you got to be a black belt. When I knew you. I think you read a brown belt, you know, like you continued, you know, you kept getting better. And it's harder to get better when you when you get more skilled when you're at a higher level. You know, it's there's less to critique, let less to work on. And you're not only a black belt, but you fucking you know, you're a Marine, you know, like, I don't know, I've never been in the military. But public opinion, I think is like Marines are the toughest of the military branch. You know, plus, you're an MMA fighter. So it's like, I think this all stems from you being able to take constructive criticism and develop and grow not just as a fighter or a comic, but as a person. Yeah, so it all stemmed
Unknown Speaker 32:19
actually from childhood trauma as well. You do all these things, but you know, what was
Unknown Speaker 32:23
childhood like from you? I know you're from Laredo, right? Yeah, so I get to experience Laredo was a cute little small town on the Texas border, right.
Unknown Speaker 32:35
Yeah. So interesting growing up there, man. But I'll tell you a story today dude. That whatever I'm from Laredo, Texas, dude, as you mentioned, um, what was childhood like for me, dude, boohoo poor me, right. Everybody always like everyone's got their shit. For sure. Right? I grew up very interesting. Excuse me. Because I mean, my parents did split when I was young happens, everyone. But on the same note, I lived with my mother and my dad moved away. And he like moved out of town for a few years. We even went like three years. We didn't speak for a bit at all, actually. And then, um, dude, I moved with my mom, everywhere. Like, dude, I moved in with a cousin. And I slept on the floor. And then my mom would say, Hey, sweetie, we're moving. And for some reason, I thought it was so fun to move again. But I didn't know that. Like, we couldn't afford a place to stay. Right. And so I legitimately slept on beds, or I'm sorry, on floors until I was 11 years old. Just bounce home the home. I didn't have a bed until I was 11. Damn right. And like, I've never admitted on a podcast, but as they get older, like you just kind of don't care. Yeah, I don't even care anymore. Do you judge me or not? I don't give a fuck, I got nothing to prove to you. I've literally done so much gangster shit. But the reason I've done all these gangster things is because like, I was that little kid constantly trying to just prove myself right. And so with that said, like, Dude, I fucking I slept on floors. I was 11 years old, legitimately floor to floor. And I pitched the bed until I was 11 years old. Right? I've never admitted that. I've never made a non part like I really don't care. Right? I'm past anybody. I can do a fuck I know what I'm capable of, etc. But later in life, you figure out that like a lot of kids, you'd it's actually a thing I googled it one time, and a lot of like homeless children. They pissed the bed. Right? There's like some long article if you want to read about it, but it's fucking crazy.
Unknown Speaker 34:34
They don't have the basic need of shelter. And you know, like, everyone has basic needs, you know, if I remember anything from my psychology, 101 class, you know, like your foundational need is shelter, food, you know, and you know, safety and I feel like that might have something to do with it. But I'm not a fucking psychologist or child psychologist. I don't know. But it's some kind of trauma, right?
Unknown Speaker 34:56
Yeah, I do. Like, the minute I got to bed Fucking stops crazy. Oh, that works, right? Yeah. Um, and like I even remember, like, again, not to get all fucking victim mentality like we're talking about childhood. I remember one time specifically my mom asking one of my aunts like, Mike Hey, can me and Justin stay here. And like all the entire family knew that I would pitch right like one time my cousin had a sleepover sesh kind of funny. She had a sleepover, like a slumber party, if you will. And this dude, she was like, 18 or some shit do and I was I was young as fuck, dude. And everybody like stayed I stayed up like partying with everybody at night at like, 16 or something right? And everybody passes out and I sleep next. It is random ass like friendly. Like everybody stepped in the living room was like a slumber party, guys and girls. This dude woke up was like, what the hell I fucking pissed this random as dude. So we got older, like, way older. Man, you remember me? And I'm like, No. And he's like, Dude, you piss me and Jessica sporty and I'm like, Man, bro. Like, yeah, my bad. But like, I remember one of my aunts one time, my mom was like, hey, like in Spanish? Like, can we stay with y'all? And then my aunt said, Oh, I see a super capital city and I can be so perky. Samia, right, which is like, yeah, I could stay here. But he needs to sleep on the floor, because he pisses and I was like, Oh, I heard that. I was like, fuck, go through all these experiences, and then you get older and you use that shit, obviously to fucking become a Marine Corps sniper. Right? Right, or to fucking be an MMA fighter. Right? And, dude, I mean, that's just the reality. But that's just kind of, again, we've all got it a hard way. I was a tough fucking kid, dude, I'm still tough. Um, but that's pretty much what the basis is. My mom always attempted her very best. And I know that, that I'm older. Like she always She really tried, but she had her own shit she was dealing with too, you know, as we all do.
Unknown Speaker 36:59
Yeah, for sure. And you, you know, you mentioned Marine, being a sniper and all of that. You know, I know you went in super young. Was there any? You know, specific reason you joined the military?
Unknown Speaker 37:12
Um, man, this is an entire podcast in itself. Like, in a nutshell, dude. 911 happened. And I was like, let's fucking Let's go man. Like, let's go fight and war. And then um, yeah, I remember my mom signed. She signed for me. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure? And I was like, Yeah, mom. I'm 17. Of course, I'm sure like, I want to go to war. And then she had a sign for me. She signs for me and then fucking do my training center for infantry. And my first patrol I ever did bone. German on the road. I'm like, this isn't that bad. I've told the story so many times at this point. So to that to your audience and your viewers or listeners. They might be like, more interested in it. But it's kind of weird. Like, I've just told the story so many times in my life. But yeah, I just I'm like, Oh, this is kind of boring. And then right when I say that, just bow my blackout. And then I woke up and I thought it was a senior in high school. And I was like, Ah, I love when this happens. It's not time for school yet. Oh, my Wait a minute. Oh, man, I'm unconscious right now. Okay, wait, what is going on? I had this weird dream that. And then I hear my team leader, like talking. And he's like, Hey, we just need a fucking idea is everyone all right? And then I thought about like, that whatever I was, I was unconscious. I thought about my mom. And I'm like, Man, she's gonna be so sad and went through all these thoughts in my head. And then I fucking wake up and you touch your arms and your legs, then you touch your balls. And he pauses you know, and I always use the the joke. Like it's like an AIDS test. Like you touch your body. And then you pause you're like, oh, and you look your hands. You're like, okay, no, no red, no blood, okay, I can we're gonna go in. And then you turn and your friends fucking having a seizure next to you from the, from a concussion from a boss and he's bleeding out of his mouth and nose. And you're like, oh, I should be a total badass right now and give medical attention. But instead you're like, hey, greens it? I'm gonna shut the fuck up, get on the trunk. It's gonna blow and I'm like, okay, and I just run off and you're like, Man, I really like green to man. I just started getting close to him. Like, that's your thought process. Right? Damn. He made it. He's, he's alive now. But
Unknown Speaker 39:16
so how many tours did you serve?
Unknown Speaker 39:20
I did to Iraq. And then I served as a contractor for like, almost two years in Kabul in Afghanistan.
Unknown Speaker 39:26
I mean, we can go through all these stories. I know. They're intense. But, you know, I guess what I wanted to ask really, since it is that a podcast like you've done these tours, you know, you had all these experiences, stuff that no one will ever understand, unless they've actually gone through it themselves. I know this is a loaded question. But what's it been like, you know, coming back to everyday life and trying to date in our relationship, you know, like, does that have a big effect on you know, not just your everyday life, but specifically dating life?
Unknown Speaker 39:58
Unknown Speaker 40:01
loaded question. I know, right? No.
Unknown Speaker 40:06
I feel like we we definitely shoot we love adrenaline, right? Like you get legitimately hooked to adrenaline, like you're over there. And it's not even like you're fighting all the time. Like my deployments were not like, super heavy fighting. They were like something would happen. And then nothing would happen for weeks, maybe even a month, dude. And then like, when things would happen, it would just be so sporadic, like they shoot rockets and mortars at you, you know, and they'd be like, closer, you get blown up, or you get in a quick engagement. And then it just goes away, right? And so it was it was a little different. But you get hooked to it to adrenaline. Sometimes you find these buildings, and you're like, Oh, cool. Let's blow this building up. And it's like, boom, and it blows up. And everyone's supposed to be quiet, or like, we're blowing up bridges at midnight. They're like, at 12:01am These birds are gonna drop these fucking 500 pound bombs, these bridges. We've got to be quiet as soon as they blow, that's our cue to like, move into the fucking city or village, whatever, right? And then, like, the whole ground shakes, and you just see the sky on fire because it's nighttime, boom, and like, we're supposed to be quiet. But on discipline, infantry Marines are just like, yeah, like, everyone's screaming at the top of their lungs like fog. Yeah, like, okay, cool. And then you fucking going into your shit. And so you come back. And you're like, you're just you're high, dude. Like, you just want to find your next high, you want to get high at all times? And, you know, it doesn't work that way. So what do we do? Personally, I feel like we placed herself in either a toxic relationships, or we create the toxic in relationship for the first few years. Right? And because you just you want that high, you want that eggshell feeling, right? That's, that's been going to therapy. So they tell you, right, but that's new. As time passes, also, like, I feel like most infantry Marines, a we're young and deprived of sex in like sexual crimes. And then you get back and you want that adrenaline and I feel like we get adrenaline in the form of sex. So we're just super fuckin like sex driven? Like, what do you mean, you want to have sex three times a day, every day, your girlfriend? like, Yo, I'm gonna, like, once or twice a week, and you're like, what kind of fucking chaos is and so?
Unknown Speaker 42:21
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And, you know, I'm very happy. And I'm happy to hear that you do? partake in therapy, because, you know, going through traumatic experiences like that. I don't think everyone does. But obviously, it's very necessary. People who don't even go through that type of experience should go to therapy. So it sounds like you work on your shit consistently. And that's good. Now that you are older, you know, and you can psychoanalyze yourself. You've been to therapy. What's your dating situation? Like right now? Are you in a relationship? Are you single? Oh, and, you know, I don't want to assume but how do you identify sexually as well?
Unknown Speaker 42:59
All the genders all every single? I'm all genders. I am all genders. You fucking judge me? You're fucking
Unknown Speaker 43:07
you're gonna shake it out. You're bigger than you can accept
Unknown Speaker 43:10
that I have a penis and a vagina. I know. I don't have a vagina. But like I have. I believe I have a vagina. I believe I have a vagina. It's called a buzzy. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 43:21
Okay, my my own gender friend. you dating anyone? He's single.
Unknown Speaker 43:26
No, I'm single man. Yeah, just whatever. I'm not gonna get into it. No, I'm gonna get into it.
Unknown Speaker 43:33
So nice boy like you who you know works on his trauma and works all these jobs and is a fighter. How do you meet these women? Do you do online dating? I mean, I know you date you know, we're close enough friends. But you know when you do meet the girls, is it the judge? What generation Gen Z years? Are you like swiping left and right or do you prefer to meet women in public?
Unknown Speaker 43:56
No, I don't do any online dating dude. None. Um, no, not anymore.
Unknown Speaker 44:02
anymore. Okay, so it's absolute
Unknown Speaker 44:05
trash. Dude. Like I just been years since I've done it for a while just trash.
Unknown Speaker 44:09
Was there one really bad experience that turned you off?
Unknown Speaker 44:12
Man? No, just do they just demand big dude. It's it's a fucking nightmare. Like dating already is a nightmare, right? Yes, it is. But, but dating on the internet is a nightmare to have. Right? Like, dude, I like it's just a trip. It's I've been catfished straight up, dude. When I'm like, wow, that's not supposed to be there. No, I'm kidding. No, I just have been catfished like, I'm looking around. I've talked about this on another podcast once but like this girl is like supposed to meet me. I'm like, I can't believe she stood me up and I'm like scanning and I'm like, she's not there and I scan the room again. She won't do Where is she and I you know guy you're kind of looking around confused. And I'm like, Dude, that girl does not stop staring at me though. And then I look and then I kind of man that girl's really looking Me and then I look around the room again. And she just waves at me and I'm like, Oh, my legit, legit like 4050 pounds heavier than any of her photos. And then I get there and then like, what happened? She was like, hey, what do you what are you trying to get out of this? And I was like, Ha, what? I met you five minutes ago, right? And then I'm like, I don't know, man. I'm just kind of seeing where this goes. And then she's like, I'm sorry. And then she starts crying like right then and there on the spot. Oh, no. I'm like, uh, she's Excuse me. And then she goes to the restroom. Right? And I'm sorry, she goes to a restaurant first. She excuse me, because the restaurant comes back from makeups all fucked up. And I'm like, Are you're right, and I thought she got a call like, her dog died or her grandpa died or whatever, right? And she just starts sobbing. Like, it's just so hard to meet someone. And I'm like, Oh, not me. Not me. I was like, so I guess. blow jobs out of the question. But dude, it's just like, it's so fucking she just like sobbed and then like, we kept watching some football game and then they scored against our team. And then she's like, No, and then I was like, Haha, you're gonna cry again. Like, I sent a problem commander. They'll try to like cheer up because Yeah. When she went there, I was like, Oh, how you gonna cry again? I'm like, I'm just fucking you. And she's like, her face gets used against sorry. And I was like, Okay, I'm gonna get out of here. And then she's like, we were at a bar. She's like, are you hungry? And I'm like, nom, I was starving noodles it No, I'm alright. And then we turn the corner, I walk into a car. And as soon as I turn the corner, I sprint across the street, there was a Chipotle. Right? I was in Long Beach and I just went across the street to Chipotle and I'm eating my burrito, like, ducking down for cover, like, I'm in warm shit. Like, man, she doesn't fucking randomly walk in here. She said she was hungry. Oh, like, that's one of the experience you'd like I've had so many of those. I've also had experiences where, like, the door opens and I'm like, Hi, I'm Justin, and they're coming to my place. And it's like midnight, and they come over. And she comes in. Um, you know, like, Hey, what's up? She's like, Hi, I'm, or I'm like, I'm just seeing and she's like, you already know, I'm here. And she just immediately start some buckling my pants and I'm like, no, wait, I'm saving myself from a second marriage. Why is it that like every guy's dream? Yeah, it is. It is, man. But again, I don't know, as I get older. You know, it's like, I just went on this trip to Central America. Right? And yeah, I went on this trip. And it's I'm writing an article about it right now for coffee or die magazine. And it's gonna be published, I'm gonna get 10 pages in there. But do the trip, change my life and change? My thought process to change like what I thought I wanted, you know, because I was just super granted um, high sex drive, but I was just like, primarily sex only driven, if that makes sense. Yeah, most men I feel like Yeah. And and I just I had this moment, dude. And you'll see I don't want to ruin anything
Unknown Speaker 48:03
but go on, like a vision quest. And now you're like a change demand. What it was this trip? Was it for work? Was it just like, in the jungle somewhere? Did you take drugs? What? Can we get a sneak peek?
Unknown Speaker 48:13
Um, yeah, I just I was, I was bored. Man. I just I make fucking ads all day. Right? And like, my fight had got canceled. I'm sorry. I was supposed to fight. And I was like, Yo, I'm gonna use that, that fight money to go on this trip. And I had been like, again, broken up with this chick. And she had like, started seeing some dude, she gave me some, like, Hey, I'm gonna start seeing this guy on Tinder more serious. And I need space. And I was like, okay, and then whatever, dude. So I was like, like to short all that up. It doesn't matter. She should probably listen to this, which is unfortunate. But yeah, she like broke up with the dude. And came over an hour later. And then she's literally in my house an hour later, and I'll leave all the details I'll be you could do the math. And then like, immediately after is like, hey, I want to get back and I was like, Well, you had a boyfriend, like two hours ago. Like that was what? And then, um, you know, she's like, can you keep us a secret? And I was like, yeah, and then like, we got this big fight and she went immediately back to him. So I am keeping a secret between like me, you and anybody else anyway, I'm dealing with with like, the ending of that of that relationship. Okay, if you will. Yeah. And just I just needed something like Dude, I've been 32 countries now but at that point, been the 27 countries. And you know, I used to travel dude, like, I've been to 27 countries by the time I was 25 years old. That's right. And then I just didn't leave for a decade I just got off serious and I pursued my professional career I ended up getting a fight and build tour and then you know, I kept fighting I graduated college and then I got a fucking real job dude, you rabid race, right? And it's not a no rat race. I'm sorry race. Yeah. And and it's not like Dude, where work is phenomenal. Do kick ass job, right, but I'm gonna say no, it's It's like a race dude. Like, imagine I didn't do any of that cool shit and I just 18 went to school graduated 22 got a fucking job like You're such a square dude. And so anyway, I did 10 years of not being a square per se because I was still fighting. But even like, I love fighting, I absolutely love it and I love experiences and the people you meet or meet. But dude, do you guys want me guaranteed you hit this point before, right? We're used to just get like, I used to get so high I started fighting because I used to get this rush like in combat, when like, I was just fucking high dude. Like, we're shooting rounds at somebody dude, and they're fucking shooting them back or sometimes, you know, you're doing your shit. And then you're done. And like, you can't even sleep for the night. You're just like, so fucking high dude. And so you chase that I call it chasing the dragon. So heroin reference, like, but you chase that high and so I used to get in the cage and do a Glock. And like an amateur. I'd be like, Oh my god, oh my god, like life or death life or death. And then eventually, like at fight number fucking I don't know. Like, total with pro and amateur like fight 1516 You're like, fighters. Are you ready? And you're like, oh, like we shaking hands. And we nod and they're like, Nah, and you're like, Alright, I guess we're not shaken or like all cool was shaken. And it just became so like, monotonous in a sense, right? Like, I wasn't getting absolutely terrified anymore to fight. Yeah. And when someone you lose some right, I feel like my best performances are like when I get smacked real hard. I'm getting the shit beat out of me. And then like, I go in legit survival mode. Right? Which is not good. It's a terrible fucking strategy. It's not even a strategy. But what I'm getting at is what was I doing? Like? I? I'm sidetracking right? I hope everyone's still falling. But what happened was, I just got so normalized, dude. And I have such a problem with that, because I've lived a colorful life, man. That's some really cool shit. And then here I am just working my job where and so you need to do something for you. And so I was dealing with this like breakup bullshit. No, you know what, dude? Fuck it. And then I booked a one way flight to Costa Rica. And then I booked a return flight from Guadalajara, Mexico, and I booked a two week time span.
Unknown Speaker 52:11
I didn't plan anything. Right? Cold my boss was like, Hey, man. I'm gonna take vacation for two weeks. I'm gonna go here. He's a fucking rad bro. Let me know how it goes. And then, oddly enough, the editor, the senior editor for coffee or die magazine, I called them and I'm like, Hey, bro, I'm gonna write an article. Can I write one? He's like, Yeah, I do. Let's make it a 10 Pager. I need you to journal it every opportunity every cab ride every bus. Every you know, any time you have a load. So I ended up journaling. 78 handwritten pages in two weeks. Damn. Right. And I'm condensing it right now. I'm going on like 20 pages, and I need to make it in the 10. So the trip is, I call it he's like, What are you gonna call the trip? And I'm like chasing the dragon, bro. I'm chasing that high. And that's all I did. I just said yes to everything. I stumbled into some ghettos. I fucking thought I was near robbed. I did sort of get robbed by some troops in Panama. Right? Okay. And there's, I stumbled into the wrong area. And they're like, Hey, let's go to an after party. And I'm like, Yeah, let's do it. Oh, my God, I can't believe I'm gonna bang these five chicks from Panama. And then they walked me in the store. And they're like, can I get this? Can I get this bottle? And I just, I'm like, Yeah, dog and I rack everything up there. Can I get these chips, and then we walk out and they take everything and they give me a six pack. And then I had a bag of chips that I just opened. And then the chick takes the bag of chips out of my head. And she offers me some own chips. And I'm all drunk, and I eat a couple and then she takes them on. She's like, hey, so we're gonna get out of here. We're gonna go to that after party. We said and I'm like, I thought, Wait, like, I'm actually like, no, no, we're gonna go to an after party. And I'm like, and I look around and these guys pop out of nowhere. And I'm like, Alright, cut your losses.
Unknown Speaker 53:51
think oh, that's me. Thinking with your dick. Again, Justin.
Unknown Speaker 53:56
is fun. I regret not cool story.
Unknown Speaker 53:59
I love that. Okay, so when is this article going to come out?
Unknown Speaker 54:02
I don't know, because I'm still working on it. Hopefully January. But if not, we're coming out with a print magazine. That's going to come out once every quarter. And without saying like too many of the details. We just landed like a really good magazine deal. So we're gonna be like, a lot more prominent on shelves. And so I want to get 10 pages of that. I just have to grind man, I just got to keep going.
Unknown Speaker 54:28
Okay, so we you know, we don't want you to ruin that. But now you're Justin, you're 3435
Unknown Speaker 54:38
Unknown Speaker 54:39
You're 35 You know, so it's like, okay, I'm 34 We want different things. You're single right now you're working you're fighting. Who are you looking for? Are you looking at all and you know, if you're looking what does she look like? You know what kind of personality and physical traits as well.
Unknown Speaker 54:57
Um, I mean, do that i Honestly, I'm just kind of not there right now.
Unknown Speaker 55:03
You're not dating at all.
Unknown Speaker 55:05
Like, legit none. Wow, it's the first time my life I've done this. Um, dude, I've been sued by make all my decisions up until this point, solely based off sex. Right? Yeah, like it's fucking stupid dude. It's fucking dumb. Yeah. And like it's not that I don't have a sex drive I'm still beating off like fucking five times a day. Right? Can you can you say that part and whenever we put them in little clips.
Unknown Speaker 55:27
Oh yeah sound boy. I'm just gonna make that a sound bite so you got it
Unknown Speaker 55:34
or somebody hears this podcast and some cheeks like oh my god, I also beat off five times a day.
Unknown Speaker 55:39
There's nothing wrong with masturbating multiple times a day. There you go. There's a sound bite.
Unknown Speaker 55:46
Okay, it's very, very strange. I'm actually masturbating right now. Oh, god, stop that you put down to somebody.
Unknown Speaker 55:53
Alright, so you're just gonna, you know focus on bettering yourself right now then, for the first time in your life.
Unknown Speaker 55:59
I just I just have a lot of going on, man. I'm fostering fucking dogs. I'm like, over here. Working full time. I'm still training full time. I'm still teaching dude. Doing the comedy, like I perform on Fridays. And sometimes if I get another shot I do. And then it's just a lot, man. It's a lot to be real. I was thinking about this before. This is what I was doing in California. I was going to school full time. I was fighting full time, like competitively like every, like so often. And then I was still teaching dude. I just had no time I was working in a bar. Dude. I was fucking hoovering. Like, right? I had no time. And I wasn't getting back then. And then I fell into a relationship. And honestly, like, she's not a shitty chick. She by no means is she shady, right? Like, so I don't want to come off as that dude. But like, a lot of it. A lot of the everything that has been happening has been because of me. Right? Like, I've got my issues, and I never really worked through them. So I'm finding a place in my life when I'm like, yo, how about you just don't fuck the world right now. And instead of like, filling that void, like do something else, like write an article read a fucking book. Like, you know, like, one of the things that my grandfather told me that I'm like, been thinking about a lot lately is on his deathbed. He gave me a bunch of advice. And I swear to God, His last words to me where he was asking me about dating. And at the time, I was, again, kind of seeing this girl, whatever, ish. And then he's like, Whatever you do grandson wait as long as you can to get married. And then he says, You have plenty of time. They're all crazy. And then he says, yeah, and then he says, I'm never tell him everything. Tell him enough. But never everything. It'll always bite you in the end. I love you grandson. Hopefully next time I see you. I won't be stuffing on my back. And I'm like, Hi grandpa. Love you to two days later he dies. Those are his last words to me.
Unknown Speaker 57:52
Those are so epic last words.
Unknown Speaker 57:55
wait as long as you can to get very, you have plenty of time. So fucking crazy that he says this right? Like again. I'm like, going through it like this little breakup bullshit. And like, and then you get sad. And then you think about it and you're like, Dude, why are you sad over the one person that's pursuing someone else? There is literally millions of other humans out there. Right? Yeah, that are compatible with you somewhere in the world. You just need to put yourself out there a be wait as long as you can to get married his he's in his 80s Oh, live the fullest life. Right was married for like 30 something years go to worse, got married again. And on his deathbed is saying Wait, as long as you can't get married. Like that's
Unknown Speaker 58:36
some real shit. Yeah. That's wisdom actually.
Unknown Speaker 58:40
Like, dude, he's about to fucking die. And he's like, Oh, but he's thinking of whatever the fuck it is happens before you die. And that's the thing that you're gonna tell your fucking at the time like 32 year old grandson. Bach. Yeah. Yeah. So, and we live in a different generation, man. Like, back in the day. It was like 23 you get married? Yeah, yeah. You know, super common back then cheating and a spouse finding out about cheating. And you just sucked it up and stayed in a marriage?
Unknown Speaker 59:06
Yeah, there are some like, social media and technology has fucked a lot of things up. But, you know, things are also very different. I think that still happens today, you know, because people still believe in the sanctity of marriage or whatever the fuck but, you know, I think nowadays it's it's okay. If someone does you wrong. Just because you're fucking married doesn't mean you have to stay in that marriage. You know, obviously divorce is very common, what 78% of marriages end in divorce. You know, back then it was like, well, especially with the male. You know, if the male fucks up the wife just turns the other cheek. nowadays. You know, it's kind of like you do each other wrong. That divorce is not that big of a deal. So that's definitely a benefit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's what I feel. But I want to take a quick break to thank our sponsor, perfect sports. These guys are always keeping things fresh and being creative with their flavor options. Their newest flavor of diesel whey protein isolate is no different. Inspired by the fall season, perfect has come out with a limited edition Pumpkin Spice Latte flavored protein. Pumpkin Spice Latte provides a spicy and savory aromatic tastes that can be enjoyed warmed or chilled. Remember, guys, this is a limited edition. So make sure to get your orders in soon, inventory will be going quick. As always, this new limited edition flavor provides you with the same benefits that diesel always does. It's third party tested for banned substances and is the highest quality that protein can be. Order yours now by heading to perfect sports.com and using my code, rebel girl for a 20% discount. Now back to the episode. I know you're all self actualized now and you're on this kind of journey into you know, not just fucking you know, but like actually maybe bettering yourself and then if somebody comes along the way, which is what happened to me, you know, I got sober a couple years ago was just on my grind. And then you know, my boyfriend Mike came into my life. And I was like, fuck, like I'm not I'm trying not to date right now. Kind of like I literally was exactly where you were at. I was like for once in my life. I'm just going to focus on myself. I'm just going to better myself and four months into that, you know, people's can see that part of you and Mike, my boyfriend now reached out to me, and you know, it was passionate and we connected but I think that's probably going to happen to you. In the meantime, I want to ask you though, it is a sex podcast, so we got to ask the dirty questions. Were what is like one of your bedroom pet peeves? Pet peeves? Yeah, like you know high like hygiene or like, you know a girl who doesn't like to do a you know, I have no idea. What's your pet peeve?
Unknown Speaker 1:01:47
I'm fuckin emotionally stable women. Clearly fuck. Honestly, I'm kind of an anything goes kind of guy until you start trying to push you to my ass. Not shitting my eyes like actual objects. Yeah, right. Okay, ever had somebody be successful with it? But dude, I've had like, people, I just it's just not my thing. I know plenty of dudes. So they talk all you want. I know plenty of my guy friends. They're like, whoa, whoa, dude, I forget that. Like one one time I was having conversation with. I was in Afghanistan. And it was a Navy Seal and a special forces guy and like a ranger demon in me. It's like one of those stories or a fucking ceiling or sniper read that like one of those like, whatever. They're all just a bunch of badass dude. And I'm like, the lowest tier dude. A Scout Sniper. Awesome, right? And so we're having this combo and the time out but stuff. And then one guy's like, oh, yeah, let the seal dude goes, Yeah, I let a fuckin my wife stick up. I'm sorry. I let a girl stick a finger in my ass. And then some other guys like, Oh, my wife does it all the time. And I look at all and like, What the fuck is wrong with your 10 year old? Right? Like a more immature B It wasn't as accepted, you know? And so I'm like, What the fuck is wrong with y'all? And then the seals like, oh, yeah, no, I used to feel bad about it. But then one day I was like, Why should I feel bad about this gift from God? And they're like, yeah, no, start high. fiving the fuck is wrong with you? He's like, That's America's finest right there. And so I love that I'm just not doubt I've had women like try and put stuff in I just I start squirming around you'll Mugello your mind me my childhood, you stop. I just I'm just not down. Do they like squirm? And then one time I had a girl that would try it. Like, I was, like actually dating her. And she kept trying it for like a few, like, quite a bit. And then one day, like, we're having sex and she stops and she turns around and she grabs her vibrators like me, it was a 10 speed right now. I don't know. But she turns to me and I'm like, Oh, cool. Am I gonna stop that in you at the same time? Like, right off? It's do this. And then she's like, Yeah, she's and she just goes for I'm like, Dude, no, I'm not done. She's like, please, please, can I do it? And I'm like, No, I just don't want you. She's like, why not? And I'm like, I just don't want it please. I just don't. And she's like, okay, okay. And she kind of got like, a little upset. And I was like, whatever. I mean, boundaries or whatever the fuck, right?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:10
Yeah. Fucking raping girlfriend.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:13
And then we broke or, like, we cut it off. And then like, immediately after she started dating some dude, right? And I knew the dude. And like, more parts of both him like, I would never intrude in their relationship. I'm not gonna mention their names. I would never I'm not shaming them by any means. But I can't help it's a wonder when I'll see him around after like, Yo,
Unknown Speaker 1:04:33
dawg. Sorry, not led up about that pagans does because
Unknown Speaker 1:04:37
like she was pretty adamant about you're seeing the natural relationship. She's pegging your dog just
Unknown Speaker 1:04:44
Yeah. She was real rapey about that. That's weird. Yeah. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:50
We do it we're talking hassles, right?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:53
Yeah. All right. Well, that's that's an understandable pet peeve, for sure. Do you I mean, I know you Justin you've got the you started this fucking podcast off with la macchina story but what is one of the wildest places you've ever had sex you know maybe on deployment or back here and home doesn't matter.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:14
Deployment dog Are you fucking kidding me? I saw like two females my whole deployment so okay yeah it'd be would have been weird it would been on deployment have been fucking my guy friends
Unknown Speaker 1:05:24
okay well you know that was a possibility after your seal snipers story
Unknown Speaker 1:05:31
I mean dude it's whatever I like never saw females dude we have like dance parties in Iraq we put on I remember the song came out randomly right but I'm sorry I'm not trying to stretch for but that's on the apple bottom jeans boots with a for like 2005 And the reason why I know that is because we put that song on the fucking radio on one of our off days and we all got a bunch of glow sticks and we were like flashing the light coming off and like you there was no females within fucking probably like, other than Iraqis probably were like within miles and miles of us. There's zero women in my battalion when I served right? And dude, guys were like grinding like, like disgustingly grinding dude like Oh, fucking and guys were like grinding their hips on like, and I like looked around and I was just it was so comical how fucking gay they were being. All of us are just dancing dude. Like we haven't seen women in months. Like apple bottom jeans. So every time I hear that song, I just remember this dude named Mansell. Fucking getting this man named Gonzo. And the guy was bending over like torquing is asked before twerking was a thing. And he's like, like, humping him, right? They both have pants on, they don't have their shirts on. And everybody's like, yeah. And I'm like, I look back and I'm like, yo, that is not even borderline homosexual. That is like it is what it is. Don't Ask Don't Tell like HOW THE FUCK IS THAT? Not good. Anyway. Anyway, what the fuck was this question going again? Yeah, I had an airplane once. I was eight. I was 18. And it was an ex girlfriend. And we both so happened to go to Cancun, booking through the same travel agency and we hated each other's guts, right? Yeah, I was an ex girlfriend. We ended up being the same flight because we booked the same travel agency to go to Cancun, Mexico, right. So we hated each other's guts. But like 10 minutes later, I was in them. Right? In a fuckin costume. Like feces smelling. Oh, can tight as bathroom. It's disgusting. He's getting water all over places you're not supposed to come from. But then you keep going into smells like shit. And like, you can't even fucking move because you can hardly move in there. So you're like, you're trying I still whatever we still did agent Okay, okay. Okay. So when she leaves, and the door opens and some guy starts coming in, he sees me and then the the guys are mad. I'm 18 turned 18 by a week, and he kind of like submerse me and I'm like, yo, like, I'm not old enough to be comfortable with that smart like, don't do that. So I walk out. And it was kind of it's very awkward. And then the other time, actually, like in in whatever and I've had sex in public. quite like a cup with a couple of different people. And like broad daylight like broad fucking daylight one time was under a bridge on a very popular trail. Wow. Right. It was like popular people always ride their bikes there and it was under a bridge like in California real scenic trail. And I just just right then and there and and I was like seeing I was getting Oh fuck, I'm in a different spot. Now. This isn't me anymore. But I was like, if someone walks up, you're gonna fucking blow this. And then she's like, sure. Ha ha Am I just go? I was like, yeah, it's broad daylight dude. And then, um, and then there's another girl that there's another girl that data we would purposely drive around looking for. For like dumpsters? Oh, no, no, I just wanted to be dirty. There's dirt. There's fucking dirty. Yeah, dog. But she was about it. She was like you want to come park next to try like and she was. It wasn't like she was just like, Hey, you want to get like we were like talking on the drive. And then like, she would literally get naked in my car like broad daylight and put the seat back. But naked. And we'd be at a stoplight and she'd be like touching yourself. And I'd be at a stoplight and then I'd look at California. Everybody looks at you and says hi. Yeah, like, and like nod and they'd be like, hey, like, hello. You're right. Next. Finger blasting are so bright. I'm so used to that word. I do that. And then um, and then let me see rules. And then there's a there's a place in San Antonio. It's called Essex and for anybody listening in San Antonio. Fucking broad daylight have had sex. They're like, whatever. Broad fucking daylight anybody can walk up and that just makes it so much harder. What is Essex? It's like this outdoor like artsy place and it's fenced and it's supposed to be cut off but people go there all the time where they just painted like these beautiful murals and stuff, but people go there all the time that just like kick it kids go here and smoke pot.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:03
And damn Okay.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:05
Broad fucking daylight do the trains passing by and I'm like, I don't know that I you still chase that hi in one way or another
Unknown Speaker 1:10:12
exactly and you know what like you really broke it down eloquently when you talked about chasing the dragon and being a Marine and coming back and wanting that adrenaline rush and yeah like obviously you were already a sex driven man and then you you know want that rush as well. So I don't know that's sounds like you've lived a colorful life lifestyle like you said and you know, I'm excited to read the article and and figure out where you go from here. That's Are you ready to do the lightning sex round?
Unknown Speaker 1:10:54
Lightning section was that
Unknown Speaker 1:10:55
lightning second round lightning section is a one word or one phrase lightning round where I'm going to ask you you know, one question you answer yes or no? Simple answer. If you would like to pause and tell a story. Our listeners would appreciate that but yeah, just usually yes or no answer. Okay, okay, ready? Landing sex round Justin. So do you dirty talk in bed? Yeah, yes. spanker like to be spanked.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:21
Ah, do not like to be Spanx did slapping spanking?
Unknown Speaker 1:11:26
Yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah. Oh, you like to be slapped? No, fuck no. Oh, you like to slap? Okay, biting.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:36
not offend it. Shirts choking. Not being choked. I've had people do it. And I definitely Shogun I mean, dude, come on. But you know, okay, real quick. I hate when girls are like, choke me and like, that's the kinkiest part. And they're like, all innocent and you're like, Oh, that's okay. What? What is this fucking seventh grade dude.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:56
Okay, all right. Choking, choking so played out No, threesomes
Unknown Speaker 1:12:02
haha, I've had one. Only one. Yeah, only one unfortunately. Is this story worthy. I'm gonna ask Justin it's a sex podcast. You know why we're here? It was definitely fun. I I will say on my deathbed. I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:12:21
damned if you're gonna wait. deathbed just tell this story. It must be
Unknown Speaker 1:12:25
a fucking story. No, I mean, like, on my deathbed, like they say that your your life flashes before your eyes like, dude, two girls give me a BJ at the same time. Better flashing my eyes. Okay, got it. Let's move on. Actually, actually, I got another threesome story, but it wasn't the good kind of threesome.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:44
Oh, Devil's threesome?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:46
Yeah, we're all dudes. Not all of us. I've never I've only had one three. Someone who's a two girls got it? Do
Unknown Speaker 1:12:53
you watch porn?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:55
I used to quite a bit and I'm in this weird fucking spot. I'm like, not watching anymore. If I start watching, I'll be like, What are you doing? Dude? I just cut it off. No,
Unknown Speaker 1:13:03
it's good. It just fucking always mess this word up. But D sensitizes. You who killed it? You know?
Unknown Speaker 1:13:10
I used to watch tons of porn, dude. And then just don't watching porn at nine years old bro. And then I started I just kept watching and like the first girlfriend ever got where 15 loss of virginity was like fucking choking or like living coming your fate like spitting on her. And she's, oh,
Unknown Speaker 1:13:26
poor little girl. She's just like,
Unknown Speaker 1:13:29
that was normal. I thought that was normal. And you want to know what's even more fucked up? She did not stop me. So for seven years, do we we're together on and off for seven years. I thought that was all normal. And then the next. My rock bottom was like finally dating a good girl later on. Brian and either my late 20s, early 30s. And I was like, Yeah, slap and she just fucking grabbed my hand. She's like, Hey, why are you slapping me? And I was like walking edge and then at that point, I was like, you need like, chill. Fuck out.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:03
Yeah, and it's not you dude. You I mean, you were born. We were born when the internet was just popping up. You know? Now look at kids. Fuck, I feel so bad. So
Unknown Speaker 1:14:15
far on VHS dude.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:16
Yeah, that's fucking weird. The force ever found was my dad's VHS and his top drawer. pushed it in friggin press play. I'm like, Okay. Scarred for life. Clearly I remember that shit fucking years later. I'm like, VHS porn. Horrible.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:31
Right? I fucking we saw on screw like, my cousin was 11 years old. And I lived with him. Right? Because again, I was always bouncing around. That was nine bro. And he was like, This is what men watch and he pops in his porn and all that. Oh, what the fuck? And then one guy's like, I'm gonna go right whatever. Everyone disappears. Just me watching porn at night. I'm like, Fuck, yeah. Penetration porn. Right. And so he would put it back. He had like a speaker like a giant speaker. You know, back in the day when the speaker's real big Yeah, and he had a screwdriver. He would unscrew the speaker take off the speaker and he had a legit stash in there to include a fucking pistol. Right at 11 years old. Yeah. And then he had a fucking VHS tape. Right? So he would leave, he'd be gone playing basketball game or some shit. I'd get the screwdriver nine years old. Unscrew the screws, remove the sucking subwoofer, put the plate, put the tape in and be like it's at 953 and I was watching. I would not make clear and then I would be like, oh shit. Whoa, whoa, that was That was funny. Okay, cool. And then to rewind it back to 953 Press pause eject, put it back in. Screw the fucking speaker back in and I'd be like nobody will ever know. Yeah, we live in a different reality than you know these damn Millennials didn't have to go through that shit.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:46
Damn, this is I mean, this is gonna be all great content for your stand up comedy career though, right?
Unknown Speaker 1:15:52
Is my life want to fucker? Sure.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:55
Okay, moving on any fetishes like foot fetish or bodily fluid?
Unknown Speaker 1:16:01
No, just not really the dirtier the better I guess
Unknown Speaker 1:16:04
and bondage like ropes blindfold handcuffs.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:08
A blindfold is don't really do anything for me. You're kind of like I don't get it. Because it's like, why not just masturbate? Like you're closing your eyes? Why not just masturbating? Close your eyes. Imagine something. Yeah. Hey, but I have also done all the like tying up and fucking blindfolded man. I've done all that. It's actually super fun.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:25
Yeah, I mean, definitely, if you're, you know, with the same person, they can get a little bored. You don't want to mix it up.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:31
Yeah, it's even better when it's like a new person and you put them like once and they're like, order a bunch of shit off Amazon and you're like, okay.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:39
Okay, what about role playing?
Unknown Speaker 1:16:42
Fuck, um, yeah, one time. I was like, Dad, dad not even stepped dead. You know?
Unknown Speaker 1:16:51
Hey, I'm not here to yuck anybody's yum. Okay, whatever you're playing.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:56
I mean, this is so fucked up. Like, you can't. You can't even say this shit without getting counsel. So they want to see it. But like, some women do have rape fantasies. Right? Yeah, it's a thing. Yeah, it's a thing. And so I've encountered that before. And I'm like, okay, so then I fuckin whatever you do it. You appease them. Yeah, and then after you're like, fuck, we're still good, right? No, no, totally fine. Totally fine. I feel dirty now.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:27
I can only imagine. Yeah. And that can obviously go very poorly. So you're definitely rolling the dice with that one, right? Yeah. Then
Unknown Speaker 1:17:35
who knows? What if, like after they're like, Hey, you raped me. You're like, like the Fetish and they're like, No, that was actual rape. And you're like, wait, what?
Unknown Speaker 1:17:42
Yeah. Do you guys have a safe word?
Unknown Speaker 1:17:45
Please don't stop.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:47
But I had it. But if it's a rabbit
Unknown Speaker 1:17:50
I'm kidding. Yeah, we had a fucking seabird
Unknown Speaker 1:17:53
All right. All right. I'm just one. Okay, moving on. Ever been to a sex club or a swingers party?
Unknown Speaker 1:17:59
Um, no, no, I've considered it. i But it's kind of weird to go by yourself, right?
Unknown Speaker 1:18:05
Yeah, I don't. I think it's like, usually it's like you have to pay a buttload of money if you're a single dude, or you can bring a female partner you know,
Unknown Speaker 1:18:13
I've um, I had somebody to talk about it forever. But I think if we were just talking about it, she would say crazy shit when we like hook up. One time California back in the day. Don't have sex to some girl. And she would say the dirt like you just get dirtier and dirtier and dirtier. And then we're going at it and I had dude California you have roommates? 100%. Right. You have to and so I had fucking a roommate and to do that slept in the living room. They could always hear everything 100% Like I would leave and then the girl would walk out and walk back in after Walker to a car and he would just like he just shake his head like he had lived there he paid the least amount of rent to like it is what it is bro. And then after a while he's he would be like I'm gonna call that one Blackfoot I'm like why Blackfoot? Cuz she walked in with no shoes on I'm like, she's trying to wake you up first of all you can you probably know you masturbated to her fucking sex cries but that's cool. And then he built another one. Why can't he be like, I'm gonna call that one the whale or like the whale or is it you know, like a whale like. Oh, okay. Anyway, one time I was looking over this girl. And she just gets dirtier and dirtier. And then I don't know if you're serious or not till this day. We're going we're going and it was just like, click like snap just like get your roommates don't get your room about like yelling and I'm like, Oh, God, like they can hear me. I'm trying to go Steven. You just your dog. Oh, fuck, he's just masturbating. Like hell. Yeah, give me give me dog like,
Unknown Speaker 1:19:38
tag me and tag me in. Oh, did you
Unknown Speaker 1:19:42
know I did not.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:44
Yeah, you're right. You're right. All right. Well,
Unknown Speaker 1:19:46
we party. I've done a switch a switch. I'm like, no, no. And she's like, No, it's like, okay, she switches in the other girl shrugs his shoulders and I'm like, Okay, I guess I guess. Switching.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:57
Alright, what about do you do you use sex toys? Um, no. All right, but no, I
Unknown Speaker 1:20:06
was that bad stuff
Unknown Speaker 1:20:08
on your partner. I've done it you've already said You know, you know, not not for you.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:14
You've got a horrific story from a long time ago. Like this is like I was like 23 and fucking terrible really terrible whatever it doesn't need it does I'll get into that but bottom line bottom line just five and a half months pregnant someone else's kid. Oh my god yeah, it was very toxic because we were dating I was the one that I dated for but she's like, broke up with a dude and got back with me and like she was five months pregnant. I was stupid and naive. So I was it whatever didn't work out, of course, naturally. Right. And so she was like, real adamant about not having like vaginal sex because she was having a baby and somehow want to protect your vaginal baby. And so she's like, here's the condom and only and I was like, wow, okay, that makes perfect sense for sure. And so, anyway, I did it. And she was already going to be a mom. So when I pulled out I was young, and your pubes are all like, you know, your pubes. When you're like, really young, you don't really shave, you're just like, whatever. And I pulled out. And I was like, Whoa, what the fuck and like, all my pubes are stuck together with feces, right? She's about to be a mom and she looks at me and I swear to God, she turns around and she's like, Oh my God, and she's like, is there poopy on there? And I'm like, in a home. Fuck says that. Monster pregnant that's who says that. Anyway, moving on. Next question.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:35
Next question. Fuck. Okay, we're ending the lightning sex round. That's about it. That's the end of lightning round right there. All right. Okay, let's add this fucking show with a game of Fuck, Marry kill and some fan questions. Alright, are you familiar with how to play Fuck, Marry kill kill one go. I think we're done. We're done here. Yeah, all right. I'm giving you three names. You get to choose who you want to fuck who you want to marry who you want to kill. And since you are now partaking in the stand up comedy world, you get female comics. So you to choose from Amy Schumer. Tiffany? Haddish and Nikki Glaser.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:19
Jesus media. Ooh.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:22
Yeah, give you like pretty fucking famous ones.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:25
Yeah, definitely marry Nikki. Okay, laser, but it says Nikki Glaser husband. So, man. She's married dude. It's all good. She's married. So I would have married her but I'm gonna kill her. Fuck her. Okay, Mary. No. Um, and then, man, I would I don't like the word kill because it has a different meaning to me from like, you know, friends, whatever. Okay, and like, like, and it's cliche. I don't know if I've just gotten soft along but I got fucking killer. Like, I would not kill anybody. I just wanna make that very clear. But if I had to like, I don't know throw pie in someone's face in public. It'd be Amy Schumer
Unknown Speaker 1:23:01
Unknown Speaker 1:23:03
Um, Nikki Glaser's pretty fucking hot. So she probably ruin my life if we got married because she's already married, so I definitely would fuck her.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:13
Okay. And then then married Tiffany? Haddish
Unknown Speaker 1:23:17
I'm looking right now. Yeah, dude Miata. She's cute. You know? I don't know anything about her. I should probably listen to her tonight. She's attractive.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:26
I think you're thinking way too much about it is you know usually very superficial over here so whatever your winner says goes.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:33
Oh, then fuck fuck come on kill myself.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:40
Okay, great answer Justin. All right. So we got some fan questions for you these are all your real fans. You got at two Rico's underscore Brian. You get to choose only one moist towel. It's add terracotta underscore Brian I don't know you get to choose only one moist towelettes or Mr. E cheese spread whatever the fuck that is.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:14
Oh fucking cheese spread all day dog you can so he's he's referring to like if you got to wipe your ass or you got to get this cheese and you can only pick one of the two Oh, I'm gonna do the cheese because cheese is actually like Mr. He sprayed is actually good A B from the terrier sleeve off take your underwear fucking use that or you socks and just wipe your ass. Damn in the field.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:36
It sounds like you have had to figure shit out when you're in a pickle.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:41
Oh so many fucking times. Toilet paper no problem. Next question.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:46
Okay, at Mark underscore Matsumoto up this is my trainer. When you're when are you going to make more YouTube tutorials of how to make a mask in a clutch?
Unknown Speaker 1:24:57
Oh fuck yeah, they're not huge either. I make them on my Instagram sometimes you know, it's COVID. And you have to have a mask sometimes and they won't let you in. So like, I went, I hung out with someone like recently.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:12
And a female somewhere.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:14
Yeah, just just whatever. It's it tanked but, um, I had to have a mask to get my Uber. Okay, so much shit. I don't have an Uber. I don't have a mask in my car. So I found a clean sock that's just in my car. And then I have an extra pair of shoes in my car. And then I have a pen. So this is a marine Shira here. I poke holes in all like four corners in two corners. Yeah, on all four corners of the socket, poke holes in my pan. And then I take out the shoelace from the from the fucking shoe. And I make like a little shift, like, and so I got into I got into frickin Uber and I had like a sock on my face with like a shoelace. And what's up and he's like, Oh, he didn't say shit. Right? Yeah, I made them. I typically use socks. Right? I had an iPhone or whatever. What am I gonna make more? Next time? I need one. I love recording it because it is actually kind of comical.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:10
Yeah, your content is pretty fucking funny. It's usually training fighting. Dog videos, and random shit like that. So alright, cool. And then the next question we have at rolling W master guns. Has a female teammate ever checked your oil? If so, what was your reaction?
Unknown Speaker 1:26:31
Not check my oil. I mean, I think my reaction I get they've never done it. But hypothetically of like a whole Okay. Dude had to. There was there was one time that I hooked up with a student, which is like, you're not supposed to do that for sure. I get it. But she fucking hit me up is a while back. And they're like, Hey, thanks for class, and they just kept hitting me up, kick me hit me up keeping me up. And I was like, hey, it's probably a bad idea. We I don't think we should do this. And then they're like, we're all adults, aren't we? And I was like, Well, we are and then they were like, cool that and then we did it for a bit. And then, um, whenever we stopped cooking up, it just kind of got weird. Like, you know, like, alright, you shake everyone's hand after class. And he used to be like, like, Oh, thanks for class, and they'd be like, kind of like, you know, like, squeeze my arm a little harder. And then they just got to like when I get to hurry like off fuck and be like, Hey, what's up like, we give you we give each other like we used to bone eyes, but like, Let's not mention it to anybody. So like that happened, but because I haven't hooked up with another one since and I will not it's just just don't do it. Don't fucking do it doesn't mean that it's frowned upon.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:41
So now you kind of learned your lesson. It sounds like you're definitely like in a new chapter of your life, you know, mid 30s You just kind of want different things. So kind of like to sum up our podcast here. You've been through a lot of fucking shit. You've lived a colorful lifestyle. What advice would you give young Justin now that you know what, you know?
Unknown Speaker 1:28:01
wait as long as you can. Oh, I don't know, man. What advice would you give young Justin?
Unknown Speaker 1:28:09
I mean, especially like Justin just coming out of the military, you know, with all maybe all that fucking, you know, chasing the dragon feeling all that pent up, you know, sexual frustration. I mean, it's a podcast about sex and violence. You know, you've learned a lot of things in the MMA world. You learned a lot of things about yourself and the dating game. You know, what advice would you give? Maybe even, you know, young Marines or young fighters out there kind of just get trying to get through it.
Unknown Speaker 1:28:36
Okay, that's a different story. What advice would you give myself? I would say nothing, dude. It's all part of the process, man. Right? Like, it's all part of the fucking process you'd like, I know that I'd like to talk with dark. It's a funny dude. Sometimes at work to people like they joke around like, I'm not like the dumb dude, but they're like, Oh, I gotta like, Haha, are you even capable of that? This in my job? I'm a fucking smart dude. And I know that I just I've my entire life. It played the part of like, like, if someone's like, Hey, man, I'm really fucking proud of you. I don't it's hard for me to be like, Thanks, man. That means a lot. I'm like, ha ha ha I'm not gay. You're gay. You know? That's you so it's just kind of the way it is. So like part of me is like what advice would you give to myself? It's like nothing dude like it's it's a process man. I hope to one day be on my fucking deathbed I don't even know if I want kids but like if I have grandchildren one day I want to fucking be on my deathbed and be like hey you fucking piece of shit come here right right but what advice I give to guys getting out a go to the VA Get your fucking rating because egos bullshit, right? The government used us. So go ahead and get yours if you deserve it. Don't lie about shit. Right? that'll really help you out on fucking hard times. I promise. Yeah, right. Be use your fucking GI Bill. Don't be an idiot because by time you know it. You're gonna get too old and life's gonna get too crazy. Having a degree doesn't make you successful by any means, but it opens a lot of doors and you have something to fall back on. Yeah, and they pay you go to fucking school. I graduated from Cal State Long Beach with a business degree. And I have $0 in student debt. That's
Unknown Speaker 1:30:14
gangster motherfucker. I have so much debt.
Unknown Speaker 1:30:16
Yeah. You know, I'm saying like, use that shit, dude. I ended up getting a degree in marketing for fucking killer S company at fucking 401k and medical benefits like,
Unknown Speaker 1:30:24
you know, saying, yeah, it's fucking awesome. Like,
Unknown Speaker 1:30:28
none of that would have ever happened if I didn't use my GI Bill. So fucking they pay you they literally pay you money to pass your classes in California $2,700 a month just to pass my classes and then I just had an Uber and work at bars on top of that plus fight for some cash. Yeah, damn. So for young fighters getting out of the fucking Marine Corps dude are young people they're fighting or get like, Dude, you can Lastly, if somebody offers a handout, don't take fucking handouts. I've been homeless. You remember me? Right? Do you remember that part of my life? When you know? Yeah, sitting in a car and in a tent for fucking two weeks?
Unknown Speaker 1:31:02
Yeah, I remember. I offered you could stay at my place, but you would rather sleep in a fucking tent.
Unknown Speaker 1:31:07
Yeah, that's, that was fucking dumb dude. That day was with somebody. And I was like, if I had to go back, I mean, I do it again for the experience. But if it were to happen tomorrow, someone who say, Hey, brother, stay with me for a month. I'd be like, bet. You know,
Unknown Speaker 1:31:24
and there's a lot of people that that because you are a fuckin you know, I don't know, how everyone who goes through, you know, their own military experience deals with their issues. But you you know, you said to yourself, it's like you kind of like this like, jolly guy. You know, like, I remember meeting you and your T shirt said, I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is now is that my first my first memory of you? And I'm like, This guy's fucking funny. Like you're uh, you're very comical guy. You know, you're easy to be around. You're always making jokes. So there's plenty of people that wanted to help you out but I don't know, you know, ego or man stuff. You know? Definitely wouldn't let you sometimes take help. I can see that. Yeah, but I mean you you would still do it but even then just kind of not accept handouts.
Unknown Speaker 1:32:11
Um, no, what I'm saying is like, anybody asking those questions, or I'm sorry, what advice you have? Yo dude, if somebody there's a difference between a fucking handout and between like you need help, right fucking take it if it's gonna help you get to your next successful step in life. Take a dog take it and just fucking pay it back. Yeah, that's the way the world works right don't be so fucking stubborn that you fucking live in a tent bro. That was so dumb. That was one of the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.
Unknown Speaker 1:32:41
Yeah, and it's not like it was character forming by then your fucking characters already formed you don't need any more you know? Yeah, what doesn't get stronger?
Unknown Speaker 1:32:50
No, bro. It's like it's not like oh some fucking meth head that's like you're homeless. It was like I had just fell under some super unfortunate circumstance and use DOM at two weeks later I was back on my feet right but fuck why it was December Dude, it was raining dude out here. Cody's walked past my tenant night looking at your and I was like, so cool. Like you smoking Uber, you goober. I mean?
Unknown Speaker 1:33:13
You've come a long way. Justin. I was bummed when you move to Texas. But you know you're missing California. I'm super happy that you're still pursuing fighting. You know, you got your black belt. You're killing it in comedy. You're fuckin rescuing dogs everywhere. I'm very proud of you. Our last question is always Who would you like to hear next on the podcast sex and violence rebel girl?
Unknown Speaker 1:33:35
Would I like to hear next? Anyone? Like
Unknown Speaker 1:33:39
to be a fighter could be an it doesn't have to be a fighter either. We have special guests, you know, the premises, MMA fighters or anyone who is an expert in their field.
Unknown Speaker 1:33:54
And I don't know who would like to hear from Megan Fox.
Unknown Speaker 1:34:00
Megan Fox. I don't know. It's kind of a stretch. Maybe we
Unknown Speaker 1:34:04
can stretch. Um, I don't know, man. I actually I never thought that
Unknown Speaker 1:34:09
with any any comedians.
Unknown Speaker 1:34:12
Any comics? I like Anthony Jeselnik. Oh, he's great. Yeah. Your shorts is pretty fucking good. Andrew. Yeah, I don't know if you can get him on. He's he's killing it. He's pretty damn famous. Right? But he's, he's like, I love watching. The reason why I like him, dude. Is because like, he's funny as fuck, but he's got his content down, like for sure. He's got a content team. The way that he produces it. The messaging like it's comical, dude. Like, he's fucking good. Like, I'm not by no means stealing any of his shit. Right? I don't even actually listen to a ton of standup I should. But the way that he like, has his platform laid out he's fucking smart dude. And so it'd be kind of interesting to have him on. I don't know if I mean, that's for sure. A stretch unless, you know, maybe send him some news and shit but
Unknown Speaker 1:34:59
well We everyone I've reached out to, I'd say 9070 to 80%. Say yes, it's very rare when someone says no, it's usually because they don't want to put their stuff on blast but we can try and then yeah, where can we follow your journey on all your social media handles Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, if we want to watch you do some stand up before in Texas or if you I don't know if you're touring yet or you just still working on material.
Unknown Speaker 1:35:24
I'm Justin govern all on everything and then I'm at the blind Tiger every Friday, sometimes at the 10pm every midnight for sure. I've only been doing stand up for a little over a year, so you got to take anything else, man, you got to earn your way. Yeah, so summer. So keep on finding like comics are finally starting to be like alright, this kid's not just gonna fucking Sega white belt in jujitsu. Like I don't want to teach you all my technique. I don't really care until you've been here. 810 months. I'm like, Now this gets serious. Okay, I'll start putting more time into him.
Unknown Speaker 1:35:54
Yeah, yeah, earn the respect for sure. We'll keep on the grind. You know, if it's if you have any indicators from your past of how successful you're going to be in your future, you know, you're gonna kill it. And I can't wait to watch you live. I love you, buddy. Thank you for being on the show. Yeah, maybe we'll have you on in the future after you're done with your vision quest. Maybe, you know, in the future a little bit. Yeah. All right.
Unknown Speaker 1:36:17
Yeah. Loving fucking miss you and a man. I can't believe I said all that. You know, what's funny is all the content that I put out now. I don't. I'm raw pretty most of the time. But this dude in terms of the ranch, like, I haven't been this job is kind of the theme of your podcast,
Unknown Speaker 1:36:34
for sure. I mean, and I think you've made it clear to our listeners. There's there's a California Justin and then there's a Texas, Justin and Texas, Justin is a lot more evolved than California. Justin, that's fucking okay. I always joke around and say, hey, everyone has a whole phase. You know, maybe your whole face was for 20 years. I don't it doesn't matter, you know, and, and what's what's so bad about having sex? You know, like, maybe not so much in public, you know, under bridges where, you know, maybe
Unknown Speaker 1:36:59
that's, I mean, if they were down, yes, right. But yeah, I'm at the point now, like, I'm not even like, Who the fuck is Justin govern all that I'm not even banging anybody. Like, that's doesn't happen, right? But it is right now. And it's kind of it's half by choice, because I'm just like, Yo, I'm just I'm just trying not to be that dude anymore. I'm telling you the truth and Central America changed everything for me, dude.
Unknown Speaker 1:37:23
Yeah, well, honestly, like I said, I you know, mark my words. You're gonna be on your grind, focusing on yourself. And she's gonna walk into your life and you're gonna be like, god damn it. I don't even want this. But
Unknown Speaker 1:37:33
that's it. I didn't care about there. No. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 1:37:37
well, I always wish you love and happiness. And yeah, stay in touch. I'll talk to you soon
Unknown Speaker 1:38:18
thank you guys for tuning in to Episode 75. I feel like that's kind of milestone. No, no, no, I don't want to get too excited. Let's get real jazzed about episode 100. I want to make it good. We got somebody a female. I'm gonna fucking say it. I don't care. I try not to say it before because people pull out sometimes. I feel like there's a joke there. But anyway. So people pull out of the show sometimes, but I'm gonna tell you guys now I'm really excited. I've been excited. In the future. We're going to have Christie Martin. Christie motherfucking. Martin, if you guys follow the show, you know how jazzed I was. After I watched the documentary that just recently came out on Netflix called untold deal with the devil. It's about Christie Martin's life. And, you know, me being on the bench right now. I was just like, so inspired. I was like, Yes, I need to have this woman on the podcast. It's a long shot. She's a fucking legend. But you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So I shot my shot. And it landed and she wants to be on the show. Actually, she was going to be on this week. But she I had to go get my own goddamn medical stuff done in Las Vegas. So I fucked up but she's a really sweet woman. And she said yeah, when she gets back from her Hawaii vacation, she's gonna be on the show. So just know that that's one of the many awesome guests we have for the future. Next week. We have Andy the Craciun new when on and I know her personally sweet girl mega babe. She's all she's a professional Muay Thai fighter, MMA fighter and this chick was the first ever Bare Knuckle MMA match in great game bread fighting championships, which is Jose Jorge My bet Jorge mas middle game bred his organization and so you know she's got a lot of amazing sports experience and then we're also going to pick her sexual brain you know and see what her life has been like on the dating front and yeah, that's about it guys so just stay tuned it's gonna be an amazing we're gonna end the year off right I promise oh, I want to tell about the we have an Olympic champion coming on like fuck, like just the best lineup I feel very blessed that all these men and women are appeasing fuckin little me you know just telling spotlighting them so I guess they appreciate that but um, yeah, I just I don't feel worthy. I feel unworthy of all these people coming on the show. It's gonna be a great month guys. Don't forget all the boring stuff. Check out the website. Not boring, I guess but you know, I know I say it every week but it really does help us. You know? This shows not making a million dollars but I would do it every goddamn week. As long as I can pay the rent bills and all that so buy a goddamn sure be entered into the giveaway to get a free side UFC glove. If you got a funny story or you want to talk to me, write him an email. And as always, you can find us on social media. It's at sex and violence rebel girl and myself at Ashley MMA. Special thank you to my man DJ Zol at DJ Zol tomorrow could studio at tomorrow kids official. Thank you for all the fan questions that you guys always write in. A little perverted, but I love it. I hope you guys enjoyed the show. And what do I always say? Be kind, be grateful and don't take shit from anyone. I'll talk to you guys next week with a new guest and more tales of sex and violence.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai