Ep.77 Adeline Gray
Sex and Violence Hey guys, welcome back to second violence rebel girl, where we interview top level MMA fighters and other experts in their fields about love, dating, romance and not all too taboo subject. I'm your host, Ashley, rebel girl, Evan Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence. What's happening? Hotstar?
Unknown Speaker 0:55
What's up? Oh my listeners. We're back. Okay, so we are one week from Christmas. And if you're like me, then then you are procrastinating your Christmas shopping. I just don't want to do it. Because those people in the stores are ruthless right now. I'm like, and every time I go to do it, I don't know. So maybe you're procrastinating maybe you already did your Christmas shopping like a good boy or girl. But yeah, I still got to do that. So I'm kind of stressed about that one week away from Christmas means we're also one week from our giveaway. If you go to sex violence with rebel girl calm and buy a t shirt or any t shirt, you can be automatically entered into the giveaway, have a signed UFC glove. And yeah, I will actually be announcing the winner on the next episode, because that will be I think, Christmas Eve, the next episode comes out. So that's pretty awesome. And I hope in general, you know, you guys are ending this year, on a good note, whatever that is, I hope that you are, you know, COVID free, and you've got some great success going on, whether that's in your sport, or your job, or your family or your love life, I really hope things are going good for all you guys. If you're a longtime listener, you know that I've got, you know, roller coaster going on with my body. And but you know, I do feel generally like I'm ending the year on a good note, I'm still not 100% I'm not back on the mat training for a fight. But I have you know, basically through process of elimination, I become a human science project. I'm, you know, going through spine surgery and different injections and to keep you up to date guys. I got the stem cells about two weeks ago. And then I saw my spine surgeon orthopedic surgeon week ago and he wants to do another injection in my spine called a fussy set. So a nerve blocker for set injection, if anyone is a spine surgeon out there, and basically what that's going to do is hopefully give me some relief in the in the area that I'm feeling residual pain from my spine surgery. If it does, that means we finally figured out what the hell's going on with my body. If it doesn't, there's a couple other procedures that they have in mind. One is a cortisone steroid injection, the other one is called radiofrequency ablation. The fuck that is I'm not gonna lie, but um, you know, I'm trying to be hopeful here and I'm very grateful that I've got some medical attention and some help financially from the UFC. So, you know, I'm not going to complain, I'm not fully healed yet, but there's hope and, you know, I just want to keep being positive. Last time I spoke to you guys, I told you I was going to be doing my second gig as a an onsite media correspondent for in jitsu.com at the lights out number seven that was at the Commerce Casino. Man, I had so much fun guys, there was only six profiles on the card. So you know, not that many interviews, but I continue to get experience get my feet wet. And it's just nice being at the fights. And you know, I am working but it's not like I'm working in the sense that I'm fighting you know, I don't have it's so relaxed. You know, I get to see tons of fighters and fans and even the officials and you know, everyone I'm, I've been in this world so long, it just feels like a good time. There's a little bit of work involved. But you know, I'm really liking this gig. Maybe I can do it after my fight career. I don't know, but I'm getting better. And if you're a longtime listener, you know, I'm very vocal, I say, do a whole bunch of shit and figure out what you like and then see what sticks and you know, I'm gonna keep fighting. I'm nowhere near retirement. So in the meantime, I kind of want to figure out what I'll be doing post fight career. So if you guys actually Want to check those interviews out? I'm not saying they're good. But you could check about in jitsu.com. That's where they're all going to be held. And one thing that happened at the fights that I really wanted to share with you guys, I had to write it down. But I'm not going to forget it. So there's a fan that walked up to me at the fights at Alexa. And she was teary eyed. She walked up to me, and she said, Hey, her name is Brittany, I'm not gonna I don't, you know, whatever. Her name was Brittany. And she walked up to me and said, with tears in her eyes, and she said, Hey, I just wanna let you know that you're going to win your next fight and that you're truly inspiring and that I appreciate you so much, but she said it really eloquently and heartfelt and you guys know I'm a big baby. I really am a big softy. And so I started crying and she was crying and I was like, Oh, you're gonna make me cry. And it was just, it was so nice because last week I told you guys I was going to a wrestling not rat and like, like the rock, like WWE wrestling, I went to a wrestling match and watched my friend zeta wrestle who killed it It was super fun to watch her and then I was I was just saying how wrestling fans are so diehard like, like live and die and they're just they don't seem to be as you know, wishy washy as MMA fans. And then here comes this girl Britney and just made me feel like so important. So loved and you know, I didn't even realize I had those types of fans out there. So Brittany, if you're listening
Unknown Speaker 6:37
I love you girl. You are amazing. Thank you so much for reaching out because as someone who's been on the bench for the past year, you start to feel forgotten about and you know, like you're not even in the scene anymore but just to be talked to like that and told that she appreciates me and she's rooting for me still. It warmed my heart so I want to tell you guys about that. And then speaking of fights, okay, so not going to say much about the crazy you know, upset last weekend of Giuliana Pina versus Amanda Nunez but who the hell thought that was gonna happen? Do you think it was the biggest upset of all time? I don't know. I think there's been quite a few upset so I don't know if I can label that one the biggest but shook the fuck out of me. I shocked the fuck out of me. I did not think that was gonna happen. I wrote a little write up for ESPN giving my predictions. I picked Amanda but I did say, you know Giuliana Pina has the type of heart and confidence and belief in herself. That, you know, she could shock the world. And she did and it was it was beautiful. And it you know, that's the kind of stuff that makes mixed martial arts. So exciting because anything can fucking happen. You know, you can have these underdog situations or come from behind fights where you're just getting your ass beat and then someone pulls off a knockout or submission and it's just you gotta love the sport. Great card overall. And then this next card we've got it's actually the last card of the year, I believe, but I'm pretty sure right so yeah, yeah, last card of the year. So UFC returns the UFC apex in Las Vegas, with a battle of the top 10 ranked heavyweights, when knockout artists and longtime title contender heavyweight fan favorite Derrick Lewis Lewis, the beast. Wait The Beast, right? Yeah. Number three, he takes on streaking heavyweight knockout artists, Chris daucus. He's a winner of five straight and currently ranked number seven, that's gonna be a banger. And then in the UFC 45 co main event we have top welterweight contenders, two time title, Challenger and karate. Wonderboy. Number five, Steven Thompson goes up against welterweight up incomer number 10 below Muhammad and they both they both look to make a statement at each other's expense. The whole card is awesome. We've also got Angela Hill versus Amanda Lamos. limos Hafi Ellison Sal versus Ricky Simone Diego FIRA vs. Mathias camera. Darren Elkins vs. Cub Swanson the prelims exciting we got Gerald murshed Art versus Dustin Stoltzfus. Ronnie Berset Barcellos versus Victor Henry. Oh, Victor Henry. That's crazy guys. So he was just signed last minute. He fought on the lights out number six card, and that's the one that I did my first interviewing gig. And yeah, this guy. I put my money on him guys. Like this guy has been all over Russia and Asia. Fighting. He's got a crazy record. Yeah, put some money on this guy. Victor Henry. Moving on. We got Henry Hunsaker versus Justin tuffa Sinjar Eubanks versus Melissa Melissa Godot Andre. You versus Charles Dordain Ooh. Then we got Raquel Pennington versus Macy chess on we may or may not have one of those women coming up on the podcast okay it's Macy she's on the podcast guys she's coming on so definitely can't pit against my girl Raquel may the best fighter when I don't even know who to put money on there cuz Macy is like a badass I think she was the first the winner the first female winner. No No sorry she was the winner of the 145 Women's tough yeah so she's super tough she's coming up as a guest and then last two fights we got Don Talay mais versus Josh Parisian and Jordan live it versus Matt sales. It's going to be exciting card the last one to end the year off. Check that out guys. Like I said, the other housekeeping stuff, the giveaway, check out our website sex violence with rebel girl calm. I had a realized last minute that you could only use PayPal to pay. So now I went in there you know, sorry, guys, I'm not as technical. And I fixed a couple things you can use, you know, regular card, Amazon coin, Bitcoin, whatever the hell you want to pay. And if you want, you know, to give me any guest suggestions, or tell me any crazy stories that we can read on the podcast, you can email me at sex and violence podcast@gmail.com. Or if you have any, a company or you know some kind of brand that you want to promote. We also are accepting sponsors. Speaking of sponsors, let's talk about our best and our favorite sponsor perfect sports. When choosing a supplement company, most would think it's an easy choice, but it's not. It's a matter of pride. You have your goal set to become who you were meant to be a decision, a moment in life when you decide to be more, to be great to use everything you can to be more than who you were. I choose perfect sports as my supplement company. 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They've got products for bulking and leaning out products for strength and recovery, pre workout or health and wellness to keep your immune up during these unprecedented times by online at www dot perfect sports.com and use code rebel girl for 20% discount. Connect with them on social media for all their latest product releases and giveaways. That's at perfect sports. T m again, connect with them on social media for all the latest products and giveaways at perfect sports. TM choose perfect sports be great. Today's guest is an American freestyle wrestler who has earned bragging rights for life. She's a six time world champion and a two time Olympian. She is the first American woman to win back to back wrestling world titles since Trisha Saunders in 1998 1999. She's also the first American wrestler to win six World Championships, any gender any style. Since wrestling isn't on the radar like other pro sports, she seems to be one of sports best kept secrets. If wrestling was more in the spotlight, she would already be a coast to coast celebrity. The Colorado native is the first female wrestler to have her own signature shoe the Asics aggressor three L II, she designed this special edition shoe herself. Outside of competing she has been wrestling the bigger issues of sexism and promoting equal recognition and participation on the elite levels, including Olympic and collegiate level wrestling. We talked about interracial prejudices, naked ESPN Body Issue insights, putting the long in long distance relationship. Love at first sight with Prince Charming life at the Olympic Training Center, marriage proposals in the DMS and much more. Here's your guest Adeline Gray.
Unknown Speaker 14:50
I just want to know Okay, I'm so excited for this episode. I'm here with Adeline gray Adeline, I just gave you an awesome intro you didn't get to hear it, but I read off all your amazing accolades, accolades and yeah, I just gotta say thank you for joining us on the show so much.
Unknown Speaker 15:29
Yeah, thank you for having me. I'm really excited about today.
Unknown Speaker 15:32
Yeah. Let's jump right in. I want to ask you a little bit about the violence aspect. Normally, I interview fighters, it's, you know, that kind of violence, but you're in a very violent sport as well. My, my true love my first love wrestling, American freestyle wrestling is your forte. And, you know, we know your six time world champion, two time Olympian, and you just came off a double major event. How are you feeling?
Unknown Speaker 15:59
Tired this year was very long and exhausting. But I'm so happy that it happened and that it's over honestly, just to get some rest and recovery now has been a real blessing and giving some perspective that this was a big year. And it was awesome to have an Olympics and a World Championships in one year, hope we never have to do it again, to walk away with two medals with only very short and training camp in between the two is a good thing.
Unknown Speaker 16:25
Yeah, you know, sometimes fighters, we take short notice fights, and some people actually say that it's better for them. Because on a mental level, maybe not so much physically. But as you know, sports are you know, 8085 90% mental sometimes. And these fighters are like, I'm just so happy that actually have a short camp, because it doesn't give me enough time to freak out overanalyze and stress. Did you feel a little bit of those perks in the situation.
Unknown Speaker 16:54
So we if you meddled at the Olympics, then you were already on the team. So you didn't have to essentially try out for the team for the World Championships. And so when I meddled, it was a sigh of relief. It was like who I don't have to compete and one month just secure my spot at World Championships. But then it was decision, do you want to go to World Championships, so we were like, still in Tokyo at the Olympics, when they were saying, like, hey, we need to know right away, and if you're going or not, because we have to host a trial. So we can send somebody at your weight if you're not going to go. And so that was really stressful, because I didn't know. And before the Olympics, I was like, There's no way I'm going, I don't think I want to go. And then you know, after the storm kind of calms down, you get home for a few days and, and I just I got to be so close between the decision time and when they needed to, like host the tournament that I just told them that, hey, I'm gonna go and if I decide later that I want to put my number two in. And I spent kind of the whole time just in that mode. But I do understand what those fighters are saying, like, most of the hard work was already done, you know, the camp can't be too long. There's not like, enough time to really hurt yourself, because there's such a short amount of time between that those events. And so those, the grant backup to this world championship felt really quick. And that was kind of a blessing. Because I had the same group of women. We had such an amazing Olympics, that the team that meddled also went to World Championships, and our entire team went to world. So it was a pretty exciting, tight knit group that we just kind of got to continue to ride that momentum that we built up headed into the Olympics.
Unknown Speaker 18:34
Yeah, I can't imagine so amazing. It's been two months since you made history. Again, you seem to make history all the time. But you know, now in hindsight, like you said, the dust has settled, you know, and you can kind of think clearly, you know, maybe the adrenaline and just the shock of everything has worn off. Probably not. But now that things are, you know, time has passed, have you started to develop a plan for what's next.
Unknown Speaker 19:02
I'm still working on that for sure. I because so when we win World Championships, or medal at Worlds, we're in our finals of our world team trials. And so there's typically in May, so I technically am on national team, I just have to show up and weigh in and wrestle at that event. And I haven't lost a domestic match my weight in a really long time. So I could very easily make my team again and just wrestle those major events. But I'm leaning towards taking a year off I took a year off after 2016 and I had such a great time. So I I'm I'm leaving the option open that I'm going to stay in good enough shape that if I want to jump in in May and show up and do something great then I think I'll do that. But right now I'm giving myself some space just to kind of like lift and enjoy my life and kind of see what it could look like with wrestling taking a little bit of a backseat for for a year and then re evaluating it. Thinking about coming back and gearing up for that next Olympics.
Unknown Speaker 20:02
Yeah, time off is so important. I feel like it's probably most athletes, but you know, I've been in the mixed martial arts community for, you know, a decade now over a decade. And we seem to be just such extremist, it's just go, go, go go. And we only slow down until we have to slow down meaning injuries or, you know, pandemic, something like that. And so my question to you is, are there pros and cons to taking time off? You know, obviously, the pros are, you know, decompress, enjoy your life, experience, things that you won't you don't get to do when you're cutting weight traveling the world. But is there any, like downsides to taking a year off? Do you feel like you'll lose some of that momentum?
Unknown Speaker 20:44
I definitely at this moment, I feel like I need some time off. So I think it'll really benefit me. I think it depends on who you are. though. I think some people when they drift too far away, they really struggled to get back into the swing of it. I found out in 2017, I didn't really know if I was going to be good enough to come back after taking a year off, I'd had shoulder surgery and I, I really separated myself and made sure that I gave myself some space away. And I came back and won a world title. And I was like, Okay, maybe my base level of who I am is like a human being like, I eat healthy, I don't drink a ton, I get plenty of sleep, like I live a very healthy lifestyle. And I've figured out the recipe of what my body and mind needs to win. And I was able to just kind of apply that amount in the last few months before the major events and come out with a major win. And I kind of shocked myself because I really, I was on the fence. I was like, Man, if I start losing a few matches, then I'll just kind of retire and drift off. And then I went back to back World Championships and then won an Olympic medal. So I was like, oh, okay, maybe this is something that is maintainable. And I do have enough talent to kind of be able to maintain this level of excellence at a very competitive Olympic level.
Unknown Speaker 22:00
Yeah, it's crazy that you can go from mentality wise, like, maybe I'll retire to, okay, I'm gonna win a world championship today.
Unknown Speaker 22:10
That's a different feel. Not everybody could do that,
Unknown Speaker 22:13
for sure. That's just a testament to your strong mentality and your badass series. So that's amazing. You referred to the right recipe, and I know exactly what you mean. And it's a different recipe for every fighter, right? Or sorry, every athlete. And, you know, some people do really well, when they have a partner. Some people do really well, when they totally seclude themselves, become very selfish and focused. And for you, I just I got to ask you, because you're just, you know, you're you've made history, and you've done something that no other wrestler, man or woman has done. So tell me like, can you give us a little sneak peek into your recipe?
Unknown Speaker 22:56
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think one of the best things wrestling's taught me is to be able to handpick the people that are kind of in my circle. And in my support group, and one of those major people is my husband, we started dating in 2013. And he's been a, first of all, he's such a fan. And he's the biggest feminist I know. So he's just really helped me understand that. It's not just me stepping on this mat and having my space there, but I have a right to be there and to fill up space and to demand, the excellence that I need to be able to perform at that top level. And so he's really helped me just kind of believe in myself. He has no wrestling background. He's like a soccer player, and has no like coaching. So I don't want to overstate his role. I have a great team that I think really knows their stuff. But it wasn't helping, and wasn't the right amount of what we needed of those things to help me and I think my husband saw me just hurting myself at every single camp. And every day, I'd come home and I was just upset and broken and my physical body was broken. And I he was like, you really need to start backing off and, and just had multiple conversations with me about how I could do so much more if I was just healthier going into these these events. And so I think he helped me just kind of have those really tough conversations, my coaches about no longer putting in participation points. I think so many athletes, get into a routine of the coaches here just telling me what to do. This is what I'm going to do, because that's the assignment, not listening and checking in with themselves consistently on. Is this the right thing for me right now? Is my body being pushed too far? And am I going to be able to do nothing tomorrow because I gave 100% Today, like isn't it today and 80% day so that I can do 80 or 100% tomorrow and really picking and choosing those days where I could make maximum gains, and still keep myself healthy enough so I could go in and show up at these tournaments with the best version of myself.
Unknown Speaker 25:00
That's, it's so crazy to hear you say that even on the highest level of Olympic level World Champion level, you still overtrain. And you still need someone who truly cares about you to just say, hey, you know, you got to pull back a little bit because I say this often, sometimes especially fighters, and, you know, combat sports athletes like yourself, we are our own worst enemy, because we just were too tough for our own good, right. It's like, No, I gotta make it a practice, I got to be there, I got to be on the mat, I got to show up, I got to give my all 100% all the time. And that's just not the case, especially as we get older, then we've been doing this for a long time, and you start to sustain injuries, and, you know, all these things that come into play. So yeah, that that's huge. And it sounds
Unknown Speaker 25:46
a lot of its training maturity to you know, when you're young, there is a need and a necessity for volume. And for you to start to truly be able to craft what these skill sets are going to look like for your body and for your career. But I'm about to turn 31. And I've been doing this on an elite stage since I was 16 years old. And so it's been a long time of me doing the same drills and committing this time and understanding how to move my body and what my body needs to feel good enough for these major events. And it's interesting, because I feel like sometimes we push ourselves so often, that we are too tired to evaluate later. So we're just like going back and mind numbing with Netflix than falling asleep and waking up and doing it the next day, your partner gets to see that they get to see how fatigued you are, they get to see you say no to things that typically you get really excited about like going out to dinner or whatever your fun thing is, or falling asleep in the movie next to them, you know, they're like, Okay, you're actually fatigued, or you're, you can't carry you know, help me carry the groceries and because your arm is so busted, but somehow you're still doing your practices. And so it's a it's a good kind of mirror to have someone who can have those conversations with your, with your body and with your mind about what's breaking down and how you can make those adjustments. So you don't continue to make those mistakes.
Unknown Speaker 27:06
Yeah, I love that. That's it's true. And sometimes I feel like, it's almost like a necessity to have a partner, when you're a professional athlete who you're a partner who's also either not just professional athlete, but you know, they're they're aware of, you know, like you said the signs of overtraining, and, you know, just kind of in the know, but you know, it doesn't necessarily have to be an athlete, maybe just someone who really knows you, and they can see that you're not quite yourself.
Unknown Speaker 27:35
Yeah, absolutely. And I just think he's really done a great job with being my biggest fan and excited about my career in the travel and Everything Fun that kind of comes with wrestling and, and being very patient with the hard stuff. When he when I have to be gone for camp, you know, I missed his best friend's wedding, I missed so many things that because I we were focused on the priority of my career. It became some sacrifices in our own life. And he's been so generous with understanding and really an advocate for it too. You know, like, it wasn't even a question like, can you miss this camp? Like, no, you and I both know, I can't miss this camp to go to a wedding. This is the camp that has to get done at this time. And I'll be at World Championships two weeks later, like, I'll see you over zoom and wish them you know, congratulations. But it's a it's been wonderful for him to be able to really support my career in a way that I never really saw happening. When I was dating somebody who was in the sport and I every tournament you went to it was kind of supporting each other together, where I'm the special one in this relationship. And it's so beautiful to be able to feel that close to competitions. And know that he cares enough to let that excitement and let that joy kind of be for me. So that I can perform at my best. And I really am grateful for his support and just our relationship as it's kind of progressed throughout my career.
Unknown Speaker 29:05
Yeah, I love that. And I love how you said, he lets me be the special one. Because sometimes, you know, I've talked to many athletes now. And when you have two athletes in the prime of their career, sometimes comp, it becomes an unhealthy competition. And when one person does better than the other, there's resentment or just negative feelings. And so it's nice to be the special one. And you know, but he also understands and supports you. That's amazing. Could we figure how long have you guys been married? How do you meet? Can we dive deeper into how you got together?
Unknown Speaker 29:39
Yeah, so we started dating in 2013. I just had mutual friends that introduced us. I didn't know love at first sight existed to a little party and I fell in love at first sight. He was tall, dark and handsome. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I actually walked into sports medicine at the Olympic training center the next day. It was like I met Prince Charming last night. And honestly, he was like, pretty hot, and I wasn't expecting for us to get married and date one day, or date forever. And so he like stuck around and ended up like coming to the World Championships that first year and We'd only been dating a handful of months. And he was just very good with the the rules that I kind of set around World Championships and I kind of let him into this wrestling world when he knew nothing about it. Like his his experience with wrestling, when I told him that I wrestled was so funny. He was like, Oh, I had a guy in my class who used to spit behind me. And not he was a wrestler. I looked at him. I'm like, that's your whole experience. You say sit behind your spit behind you. He would spit in a bottle to make weight.
Unknown Speaker 30:48
Okay, so us wrestlers understand that? But like, some of the listeners are like, Did you bit yeah, so guys, for the listeners who don't understand sometimes the last half of Lb couple point 2.3 You know, you're just so drained and you can't run anymore. You can't do anything. So you literally just like take a bottle and you chew some salary gum or candy and you spit into the bottle to make weight. So her now husband is referring to yeah, there's a guy who used to just spit in a bottle. I know about wrestling. Okay, so he had not that extensive knowledge of wrestling got
Unknown Speaker 31:21
it? None, no, no experience with wrestling. And so he had Googled me and watched all my videos and stuff. And when I had called him back to like, see if we wanted to go on another date. He was like, I just spent the last two days like watching everything on you on YouTube. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed when I see you don't want to go on a date. And he's like, no, no, I do. Why would you think that I was like, I was like, I just feel like, that's a lot of information. Like I have videos of there for me when I was 19 not able to give a proper interview and you're over here, watching every wrestling match. It was like, Okay, maybe we shouldn't date. He's like, no, no, no, let's let's try this. Let's date a little bit. And then he ended up sticking around year after year. And I finally brought him to Olympic Training Center. And a bunch of the staff was like, Oh, is this prince charming? And I was like, Oh my gosh, please don't tell him that. I said that. So embarrassing. Oh, no. It is adorable. I just It definitely funny story about him. But we got married in 2017. And But one interesting thing about our relationship is so he is a major in the army, okay, and he's had to move around our entire career or relationship. And so we met in Colorado Springs where I live in training at the Olympic Training Center. And then only like six months after we'd been dating, he moved to Georgia and is now lived in Columbus, Georgia leaves the Louisiana he's been deployed twice, Anchorage, Alaska. And then we, a couple years ago, bought a house in Savannah, Georgia. And then now we are back in Colorado Springs, Colorado. So we've had most of our time has been me just like commuting once a month to wherever he is. And so after a training camp, or after a tournament, we'll either meet up in a fun location, or I'll just go to whatever home he's kind of like temporarily set up. And so yeah, we spent more of our relationship apart and doing the long distance thing then, then together, which is you don't always hear success stories now that we're like, happily married and does wild.
Unknown Speaker 33:33
Okay, so you guys have been married for about four years. David, for how long before that?
Unknown Speaker 33:39
About four? Right? 2013? Okay, so four years, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 33:44
dating about eight years, or, you know, together total, eight years, but it sounds like, yeah, like you said, it's like you would be in a camp, which can be months long.
Unknown Speaker 33:54
Most of our camps are about 10 days. But you can do back to back camps essentially. So some of the camps like leading up to World Championships, we have 510 day camps. And same with the Olympics. And so you have like, intervals of base training. Luckily, most of my training is at the Olympic Training Center. And so camp really just means other people are there. And so it changes for a lot of my teammates who don't live in Colorado Springs. But they're, I think five of the Olympians lived and trained at the Olympic Training Center. And so like my core group of people were here. And so really the when I say camp, it just meant that it was mandatory for us to be at those practices, because we were bringing in either foreign competitors or our current other world team members from around the country
Unknown Speaker 34:44
got it good to know because when we say fight camp, it's usually the average is like six to eight weeks. That's our fight camp. So I was thinking that oh, you've had like, months and months and months apart. But you know, would you say that you spent majority of your like, relationship apart like long distance?
Unknown Speaker 35:05
Yes, I we have. So we lived in different I moved to Georgia with him for like two months. And then one month after each world championship wherever he was, I lived with him and he also was deployed and went to Ranger School. So that's a cumulative of like two and a half years. And then my training was mostly either at the Olympic Training Center, or overseas. So I, I spend about like 200 days away from Colorado. And it's doesn't leave a ton of time to kind of connect with that. But it was also a beautiful piece of we were both in our 20s and career driven. And we both were able to kind of focus on what we had, right in front of us, which is really special, I had an opportunity to build a career that no one in my field had really done before. And my husband is doing great things with his military career. So it was nice that we could support each other and not have a location be kind of that restricting factor.
Unknown Speaker 36:03
I love that. But just like you said earlier, that is not the norm, right? When you hear of long distance relationships, unfortunately, primarily they don't work out. It's just the two people are one of the one of the people can't take it right. And especially it's like, as soon as you get married, it's like it's in society. It's like you just people think you do everything together. And you know, it sounds like you are the opposite of a codependent relationship. It's like you both have your goals and your priorities. so strong and so set. I guess my biggest question is, how did you make it work all these years with a long distance.
Unknown Speaker 36:42
One of the nice things like with our successful careers came some financial stability. So I'm not saying that this is something for everyone. But my husband I were we had no pets, no kids, no other obligations I wasn't paying for, you know, a house or anything. So all of our extra income went to traveling to see each other and we just made it work. Like during the years that we were for sure not going to live together. We just made a point that once a month, we set up to see each other and you know, sometimes that was New Year's January 1 And second, and then we saw each other like February 28. And so it's really two months apart, but we made sure to see each other or at least try to see each other once a month every month leading up to the longer gaps that we would have away from each other especially like when he had his ranger training when we were planning our wedding and he was gone for like three months for that straight with like no phone calls. And just, I had had shoulder surgery at that time. And when I went in, they had told me it was going to be something kind of minor. I thought I was just gonna have my AC joint like cleaned out and be able to do everything and be back to wrestling within the month and then I woke up and I was like, strapped into a full sling. And they I was like might feel a little more drugged than I need for this little surgery we just did. They're like, yeah, we need to rezone Keo, we've put you back out for another two hours because we ended up having to do like your full libram and your own pack and your bicep tendon. And so I end up being out for a full nine months for that. And it was a part of the push that I needed to kind of take that full year off of 27. And
Unknown Speaker 38:21
I say what I say you don't stop till your body's like, Bitch, we're stopping we're stuck there.
Unknown Speaker 38:27
But the hard part was when I my husband had proposed to me I had a full time job I had insurance I had all of these things that I felt really good about entering a partnership as kind of like equal financial partners. Yeah, and then I woke up from the surgery and I was going to miss our world team trials and we get no financial coverage so you lose your insurance you lose your monthly stipend, you lose your your insurance only number ones get insurance. Don't make the team the next year use your insurance. So luckily, I was young enough that I was like a dirt for my first surgery when I was when I was in my 20s early 20s My I was on my parent's insurance. Okay, yeah, my husband I called him and was like, Honey, I need insurance. I need a place to stay like I need so many things right now. And I was like, I didn't know you this isn't who like you signed up to marry like person is laying planning your wedding while you're away doing hard things for our country but I like don't and I was having just like a breakdown telling him about this and he just very calmly was like a we're gonna figure it out. We're gonna get you back if that's what you want. And we're, we'll do whatever we need to do and it was just the most beautiful and perfect thing to like, settle my soul. So I could just calmly move on and yeah, be able to do my rehab and know that I had someone who supported me and that was one of the first real times that I was like, wow, like having someone to support you in these moments is so important because I don't know what what I would have done without that.
Unknown Speaker 40:09
Honestly, I, you know, that resonates with me so hard because all the listeners who are consistent they know. It's been about a year actually, an exactly a year December 14 was my spine surgery. So this last year is just doctor's appointments and like the emotional roller coaster, I don't know about you. I'll be so honest. But like, you know, one of the things that my boyfriend can tell when I'm overtrained, you didn't mention this. You just mentioned the physical aspect, but I'll get like snappy or bitchy or just, you know, extra emotional right now. It's just just overtrained. And this last year, you know, it's like some days I'm totally fine. I'm Miss positive on this podcast. And then I'll have a wake up some days and I'm like, just crying. I feel like I'm never going to get healed. It's taking forever. Times ticking away. I'm like 34 years old, you know, and my partner being there to constantly be like, you're gonna be okay, you know, this is the plan. You know, just kind of put things in perspective, give me a hug, pat on the whatever it is. There's nothing like it. And, you know, I actually feel very bad for those people who are going through something similar, who don't have a partner who don't have someone that's super supportive for them. And, you know, I know exactly what you're talking about when you're speaking about having a partner who just is there for you, no matter what and like, keep your husband said, if you want to get back to it, okay, if you don't, you know, like, they don't push you either way. It's like, whatever your decision is.
Unknown Speaker 41:38
Yeah, my husband's a little pushy in the sense that he really loves me Rosslyn. And he politely in the moments like, I need to just be, you know, calm or, you know, just get to even keel he's like, we can do whatever you want. But then the next day, he's like, Oh, we're gonna get you back to being a world champ. And I'm like, Whoa, okay. It's only been one day Honey, can we come down but he does. It's so easy to see the joy he has for for my career because it is so fun like to be able to go to these major events and to watch me dominate as is got to be awesome. I always joke with him. I'm like, I want a wife. That's a world champion. So fun to just travel the world and like go see them kick ass and, but he does a lot of work too. You know? Like he is constantly filling my head with these wonderful ideas about how strong I am and how dominant I am. And you know, constantly I don't want to say putting down my opponents but you know, yeah, really being like, making a bad name for certain people. And yes, it's about now that personal never score in me again, my talents way above whatever they have. And so I am known in my kind of sphere of being a very confident and a little bit arrogant of a of a person. And a lot of that comes from my husband, filling my head with hot air all the time. He's like, he's like, Oh, look at this world champ getting out of bed. I'm like, ridiculous, but secretly I'm like, Oh, listen to this love language. Have some words of affirmation. Like let's do this.
Unknown Speaker 43:07
I love that. earlier. You said you met tall, dark and handsome. Did you mean dark in the sense that he's you know, skin skin color dark or just dark hair?
Unknown Speaker 43:17
No, yeah, my husband is half black, half white. So he's mixed. And so yeah, we met during the summer ish time period. And he had had a pretty good dark tone complexion. And I I have dated mixed men in the past. So I wasn't like a shock that, you know, I had fallen in love with somebody that was tall, dark and handsome. But, ya know, it's been it's been a different experience in some ways, just because getting married to a mixed person with you know, with the happened in the last couple years just with race conversations and what that what that world kind of shook up is interesting and it's, it's something I've grew up in a diverse community. And so it's something that I may have been a little bit sheltered from because I have my entire life love dark skin, complexion, people and I've loved people of Hispanic heritage and black backgrounds, and, and not everyone in the world has had that opportunity to love people that look different than them and it's done. And even with someone that I you know, like myself that I believe they have a good foundation of how to coexist and how to move the world forward to see some blessings and equality, it's still as hard there are still moments when my husband has to educate me and have me really understand what my steps are that are wrong. And it's this last couple of years have been some challenging conversations for sure. Especially because we're talking about having a family and having black children would be something that I haven't spent enough time thinking about and it's something that he's nervous because it is a different life for a lot of people that are not white. Yeah. And it is it's a it's something that I'm very blessed to have this experience in my life and such a wonderful person to love me. But it's also very sad when I have people who don't understand that there is discrimination and an openly discriminate just because my husband does have a darker skin complexion.
Unknown Speaker 45:27
Have you? Have you felt that discrimination in person or on online social media? What does that look like? I mean, I'm, you know, just, you know, trying to figure out, like, I know, there's a lot of social and, you know, racial things going on, but like, it still baffles me that there's discrimination because it's like, someone like you and someone like me, it's like, oh, that's a sexy black man. And, you know, I can't I just, it's hard for me to even fathom, you guys have been together for many years now. Have you actually felt that or seen that?
Unknown Speaker 46:06
Yeah, unfortunately, we have. We were driving through the south at one point. And there, thankfully, someone had mentioned, like, hey, like, You're too dark to be driving in this area, and was just kind of giving my husband a heads up. And we had to stop at a gas station in this area. And he told me, he was like, I don't want you to have the car. And I kind of like laughed at him. I'm like, I'm a grown adult, like, I'm gonna get out of the car. And he's like, No, I don't trust that you might not get me shot here. Why? Well, I looked at him. And I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about. And he's like, do you see the way people are looking at us right now. And it was amazing about, like, just the check in of my privilege at that moment of how safe I felt everywhere. Yeah, and how he was taking precaution and steps to protect us that I didn't even know, were on the table. And I didn't even I didn't survey my surroundings. When I started to look around, I got scared. And I sat in the car like a child, and was sitting there like, I can't believe that people are judging this situation so harshly. And it was it was a very eye opening experience that as a white woman walking in this world, I don't have the same outlook as darker complexion people. And it's a it's a shame. And it's something we need to change in our culture and in our world, that there needs to be more equality, there needs to be pushback against racist communities who are against having mixed race relationships against having black people be part like, productive members of their society. And it's such a heartbreak for me as someone who loves a black person. And it is, it's, it's something that's I'm constantly learning and learning to understand more about experiences that I have never even considered have have happened in my life.
Unknown Speaker 48:01
Yeah, I mean, I'm right there with you, I have that same privilege. And you know, I'm oblivious to a lot of things until it's right in front of my face. And you know, I have a very big heart. And so it's hard for me to even fathom that, but you're going to even continue to be, you know, in those types of situations, because if or when you do have a family with your husband, it's like, you know, unfortunately, having mixed race children will bring up all all types of new hurdles with, you know, a society that is asked backwards in a lot of ways.
Unknown Speaker 48:33
Yeah, it is, it's a, it's a challenge that I'm going to open, you know, come with open arms, I have, I think a really good community of people who've done wonderful things in these work this world, and I am hoping that we can together kind of show that success and that it does doesn't have to be one way or the other. And that can be equal and open and just just more understanding on everyone's side. So it is kind of the the goal is just to have that not just for my family and my my husband, but also my teammates. I have dark skinned women on my team that have very, very terrible stories that have happened to them. And I just, I really have a lot of heartbreak in for their situations and for the hardness that they kind of have to carry on themselves because of our harsh world.
Unknown Speaker 49:24
Well, there's no one better in my opinion, to spread the love and procreate makes them super babies. Think you're gonna be an amazing mother. If that's the route you do decide to go. You talked about growing up in an open, diverse community. Where did you grow up? And then I want to kind of ask a segue right into, you know, how were you raised and how was dating and love and relationships, looked at?
Unknown Speaker 49:53
Yeah, so I born and raised in Denver. My father is a Denver Police officer and my mother is actually See the person that kind of, I think sparked all the wrestling conversations in my family. Her brothers all wrestled and her grandpa wrestled, so she kind of grew up. Yeah, in the wrestling room wrestling fan. Yeah. My dad wrestled in high school, but he kind of did a lot of sports. And he's the youngest of seven boys. And I think he always saw himself as like a football coach or a T Ball Coach and, and then he had four daughters. And my parents had always kind of been in a situation where they're like, we're gonna have boys and we're gonna teach them to be athletes. And, and then when they had four girls, they're like, Okay, let's teach them to be athletes. Like they just were very progressive and being okay with us playing whatever sports we wanted. And, and my mom's brother was the head coach of the wrestling team, the junior LEAD program. So at around six years old, he was like, hey, my two kids wrestle, you have a hyper little, you know, their cousin, let's throw them in the wrestling room and just see how they do. And my dad was my coach. And my mom was always just, like, excited about me getting to wrestle and getting my energy out mostly. And then, when I got into like, middle school, high school, my mom kind of was like, okay, like, I played basketball in high school in college, like, how will I make you a basketball player now, like, this is kind of a tough route to go, a violent sport like wrestling, and you know, people are gonna look at you differently. And you might struggle to date or, you know, be seen as feminine. And all of these conversations that as you know, a kid who was just having fun with their friends on a wrestling mat, didn't understand that there were implications to the choices that you make. And I told my mom, like, No, Mom, I wrestle, and I just kept saying that after every season. And then when I got into high school, there were some of those moments where I was kind of had my eyes open of like, oh, maybe there are some dating challenges. Because what I picked, there are some moments I remember, I was dating a guy. And often he just like, stopped talking to me, like, you know, it's freshman year of high school, whatever. But he just like completely stopped talking to me. And I could not figure out why he didn't like have any, you know, anything to say to me. And so I was mentioned it to one of my guy friends on the wrestling team. And he was like, oh, yeah, we saw you hanging out with him. So we gave him some words, and he won't be bothering you anymore. I was like, Oh. Like, go and put my friends in check and be like, You guys are allowed to protect me if there's something wrong. I was like, there was nothing wrong with this poor young man who just wanted to date.
Unknown Speaker 52:34
That's actually like, kind of a good problem to have, right? Like,
Unknown Speaker 52:38
I had like a bunch of big brother. Yeah, I actually,
Unknown Speaker 52:41
like a fun not not a fun story for me was in high school. I did have a whole bunch of brothers. But I found out later, like, after high school, I came back like I was in college, and I was hanging out with some high school for old high school friends. And they're like, Yeah, we totally thought you were a lesbian in high school, because you wrestled and I'm like, god dammit. Not. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 53:04
found out later that people are just kind of like afraid of my strength. They were like, yeah, so you beat up guys. And so we thought you would be able to beat us up too. And I'm like, Huh? Like, I really didn't seek that when I was in high school. But okay, that's, I guess that's a fair assumption.
Unknown Speaker 53:20
So did you not do much dating in high school?
Unknown Speaker 53:23
Oh, no, I dated I just, I think I went outside of like, my circle. Like I didn't date. I didn't do very often within my wrestling room, which was kind of like a not an official rule. But I think a good rule. Very good kids, you have to go through so much with those people. That it's tough to kind of be tired at the same time and all those things. But no, I had my share of boyfriends and throughout my high school career, and I went to all the dances, which was really fun. Because I had friends at a bunch of different high schools. I actually went to three different high schools. My parents moved, and then I got invited to go to an Olympic Education Center Oh, in northern Michigan. And so my senior year, I actually left pretty much left high school and moved on to a college campus. And trained up there. And that was a, it was like leaving high school early. It's kind of how that was. That was it was like I was a freshman in college because you were living in a dorm. And it was it was a weird situation for sure. But yeah, I ended up going to three different high schools. And so I have kind of like little clusters of friends from each of those and guys that I dated and then just kind of fizzled away and stayed friends with. So it's kind of nice to be able to keep those relationships and just have them be a collection of cool people that you may or may not have kissed at one point which is
Unknown Speaker 54:44
awesome. I want to take a quick break to thank our sponsor, perfect sports. These guys are always keeping things fresh and being creative with their flavor options. Their newest flavor of diesel whey protein isolate is no different. Inspired by the fall season. Perfect come out with a limited edition. Pumpkin Spice Latte flavored protein. Pumpkin Spice Latte provides a spicy and savory aromatic tastes that can be enjoyed warmed or chilled. Remember guys, this is a limited edition, so make sure to get your orders in soon, inventory will be going quick. As always, this new limited edition flavor provides you with the same benefits that diesel always does. It's third party tested for banned substances and is the highest quality that protein can be. Order yours now by heading to perfect sports.com and using my code rebel girl for a 20% discount. Now back to the episode. So something that a lot of us female athletes kind of struggle with is our sexuality. So if we are in a more male dominated sport, then it's like we feel like we need to overcompensate our femininity, or sometimes fight you know, the opposite end of the spectrum sometimes, you know, it's like you feel like you have to be more masculine to you know, show that you belong in the sport. Have you ever struggled with that?
Unknown Speaker 56:07
I wouldn't say I struggled with it. But I definitely was a product of my environment. I was six years old and my mom was like, I don't want you looking like a boy out there and like putting a pink hairnet on me and like, you know, making sure that I didn't need a sports bra at the time I was six years old, but we put a sports bra on me and there was just like, moments when I would start to dress a little bit more like a tomboy. I'll be like you put a dress on and you put pink on just to like overcompensate that girl femininity just to make sure that I was you know, portraying that to the world. So people didn't think that I, you know, was whatever stereotype they wanted to fit in, because I did a boy sport. And so I do remember always like having that individuality, I think that part, like would have been part of my personality in any way. Like I kind of am someone who likes pink and girly things. So it just sometimes felt over the top because my I'd be walking out the door and my mom would be like, put on a push up bra, or you know, put on something nicer, like you need to wear some makeup or just like to be a little bit more extreme in my femininity. And when I was growing up, I really didn't see it as anything bad. And I still don't like there's nothing wrong with pink. But I do feel like it was a conversation and any kind of like a compensation on my mom's part to make sure that I wasn't seen as a boy and that I wasn't trying to fit into a world. I was trying to make my own world I was trying to make sure that this is just a highlight that this isn't an opportunity that women have like I wrestled against the guys when I was in high school and middle school and elementary school because there weren't girl leagues there weren't as many opportunities for women in sport. And so it wasn't because I wanted to be one of the boys it just was because we don't have the same aggressive outlets for women to be able to have access to individual combat sports. And so it was I think a more global picture of knowing that I wasn't trying to just fit in with the guys
Unknown Speaker 58:14
Yeah, I actually was the opposite I felt like I needed to fit in so I cut my hair short and I you know were cut off Dickies and you know, baggy clothes and stuff like that. And later, kind of in college, I had some female teammates for the first time because I was on a boys team as well. And, you know, they schooled me it was like you can be feminine, you don't have to fit into this conservative box that they're trying to fit you in. And would you say that the wrestling community is on the more conservative side?
Unknown Speaker 58:44
Yes, I would say that they're on the more conservative side but we also have an acceptance of women who want to fit into that box of androgyny and, and that's okay to like I do feel like especially the the female wrestling community we have a lot of women who dress non binary or, or just dress however, it's comfortable for them. Yes, really. And it's a they may not look like stereotypical beautiful long hair, shining makeup I like all of the kind of magazine looks is what I would call them. But I feel like there our community as a whole has been very open to the gay and lesbian community and been able to kind of embrace that, at least on the like elite women side. I've seen that. But when you look at wrestling as a whole, it comes from a very like blue collar conservative Christian population. And so there is I think, a tendency to want to overcompensate when girls get into the sport that they want to make sure that people don't see them as boys, which is a bummer. You know, like being a boy is not bad either. Either. Like there's some equality there that we need to push for that is just about accepting people. for who they are.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:00
Yeah. So, you know, I think we both understand that wrestling is based in a like you said, more conservative background. How did the wrestling community react with your ESPN body issue, which is fucking amazing and beautiful. If you guys haven't seen it, check it out. She's suplexing neki a dummy. She looks amazing that a couple shots of her and it's such an iconic, you know, just like such an honor to be on the ESPN Body Issue.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:32
Thank you know, I it really was like a dream come true. I was so excited about it. But leading up to the 2016 Olympics, I was kind of like who I really want the visa contract and I want the ESPN body shoe. And I want to win the Olympic gold medal Ellie's really highlight things that I wanted out of that year. Yeah. And it was, it was an awesome experience. When I got the phone calls, like, wow, I'm going to be on these with all these amazing athletes. And I'm going to get to share this hard work that I've put in like, these really competitive sports give you an amazing body. And it is fun to be confident and feel good about yourself. Yes, and especially with some of the changes that I think have happened in the last 10 years with a little bit more tone of a body even a little bit more boy, I mean, I've always considered myself like, I don't have curves, I don't have big breasts, I don't have like, anything that you would say is overtly feminine as a body. But it's awesome that I get to have this strong toned body and be considered stereotypical magazine beautiful now and it's was the celebration of that this magazine, the ESPN body issue was able to celebrate this art form that we're able to craft with our with our bodies, and the effort and the energy that we put in to sculpt our legs and our shoulders and our back muscles lead to us be able to do really badass things. Like I beat up women at an Olympic stage consistently. A really cool thing to be able to translate that maybe I don't love my deltoids on a day to day basis, but they serve a purpose. Yeah, and I am very proud of the effort and energy that I put in so they can be used for my job and for my career. And so, I I consider myself a bit of a nudist, like within my family. My family is always telling me like put some clothes on. So yeah, that's definitely when they told me I was gonna be posing nude. I was like, I'll have no problem. I don't think I'll have any issues. And then as it got a little bit closer, I just had a few questions like are how many people are gonna be there? Like, what does it exactly mean? Like, am I like totally new? Like, do I just wear underwear? They're like, nope, totally nude. And then as it got even closer, I like my husband had come with me, thankfully. And we were like, showed up to the event. And they had only one woman in the whole facility. And we rented out this like MMA gym in New York City. And there were like, the two owners were there. And then there were like, 20 people, and maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe there were 12. But it felt like people
Unknown Speaker 1:03:16
Why didn't wait, wait, wait, I thought it would be like, you know, hey, like they set up the lights and like, Alright, and then like maybe everybody leaves the room and it's just you and the photographer?
Unknown Speaker 1:03:24
No, there were people like because they have to kind of move things and stage it around to make sure that logos aren't showing and like so right backdrop. And so they had probably six people who were just made to like, move things around. Okay, yeah. And so I started doing a couple of the throws, and then the photographer wanted something moved and this man like, walked towards me. I don't want to make the sound more exaggerated than it is he at a normal pace walked towards me and I like scream a little lick. And like covered myself and kind of like, like, pulled away and I was clearly uncomfortable. And like the photographer called the guy was like, Hey, hold on just second. And I like told him like my husband can move that and like your bubble gets so much bigger when you're naked. I just all of a sudden like 10 feet Yeah, the guy and the photographer made me feel much better. He was like no, you're safe like nothing's gonna happen he's like I know there's a few people here because there were like people up on the rafters watch I was just like, way too many people in my eyes were there that I was comfortable like having been naked and that setting
Unknown Speaker 1:04:30
how many times do you have to Suplex that dummy naked? So
Unknown Speaker 1:04:36
I probably did it less than 30 times. But the embarrassing part was when at the very beginning when he was like, Okay, I want you to throw the dummy here. And I was like, huh, I don't bro this particular like short dummy, like often enough to know how to place it there. So I stood in a circle and like asked where my feet should be to get like the right shot. And so I literally did a 360 circles in front of him at one point, he just like, tilt the camera down and I was like, oh, so not that angle. And then we continued on with the photo shoot, but I like looking back, I'm like, I really should have realized that me stepping in front of somebody naked is going to be a very different experience for certain views on that camera. So it was, it was a fun and exciting thing that I was very happy to do, but very uncomfortable during and I wish that I kind of had a little bit more information about how many people and a few more women in the room would have been awesome.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:40
Well, what amazing experience and the pictures came out wonderful. And, you know, years from now, when we're all wrinkly, you know, I know we're gonna look back on our bodies and be able to and just appreciate all the great, you know, really good photography that we have. That's probably going to be one your prized possessions really, right?
Unknown Speaker 1:06:00
Yeah, no, I completely agree. And I remember before the shoot happened, I was kind of nervous about the wrestling community kind of being like, why is she posing nude like, yeah, and the extreme views I even had somebody posts like, please don't do porn. Next. I'm like, Oh, like this was like an art T show, bro show celebrate the female body in the athletic body and, and to be part of this amazing elite group of professional athletes that the Olympics should be a part of. And I just was really perplexed by some of those extremist views. But overall, I had an outpour of support. And people were very excited that athletes at the Olympic, you know, Olympic wrestling level were being celebrated along with Lebron James, and these, you know, incredible athletes that we see, you know, the pro sports and so it was a cool experience. And I remember going into it, I was like, nervous that my breasts were going to look small, and then you're going to see a little bit of cellulite on my legs and that I wasn't going to look as strong as I look, you know, right after a pump. Yeah, wrestling. And so the pictures came out, I was like, Oh, my breasts are small. And I have a little bit of cellulite on my legs. And, and I look strong, but not like the strongest person you've ever seen. And I was really happy and at peace with the fact that all of my fears were there. And it still was me. It was a picture of my hard work and my efforts. And it was this beautiful piece of art that I really do. Cherish and I'm happy that I did. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:07:37
amazing. So this next question is one I like to ask all of our athletes and you know, you're such an elite athlete. I'm really excited to hear your answer. Sex before a competition, do you abstain or partake? Some people say that it's, you know, taboo, and others say do what you got to do to feel relaxed and you know, whatever creates happiness and comfortability and stress relief. What about you?
Unknown Speaker 1:08:02
So for me, we usually don't have access to our partners before major events. And so that's a, so it really comes down to just masturbation and having that be part of a physical and mental releases, I think is important. And I definitely have like a couple days before roll that you don't do it. But yeah, so it is a I think, but it's a piece of healthy recovery. And I think it's something that men and women should be open and okay with talking about is that it's a mental release. It's a physical release that allows your body to have a lot of great things happen. Yeah, so I would definitely say Pro. Having that be part of of your full training and recovery routine, but I personally do not a few days before competition, just to kind of feel ready. And also, we're usually in a weird situation with a roommate. So situation where you're like, hey, I need need the room for a little bit.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:01
Yeah, and we said it earlier. It's like everybody's recipe is different, right? Some people's recipe include sex with their partner, some people include, you know, I've heard I think Tito Ortiz was a guest that he said he goes like, a full week, or maybe it's two weeks without sex. And, you know, everybody's different. So good to know, on Olympic level. And then what is one of your bedroom pet peeves? You know, we've heard everything from poor hygiene to a partner not asking before they put certain things, certain places, you know, just anything that kind of annoys you in the bedroom.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:37
I think mine's just like, the temperature of the room is the one that bothers me. Yeah, if it's like too cold or too hot, like that's gonna be a problem. So just to sleep and I'm always complaining about the temperature. So,
Unknown Speaker 1:09:50
okay, and then it's such a weird question, you know, but how did you learn about sex growing up? It sounds like your mom was super active in your life. You know, she was a Great wrestling mom and really, you know, was vocal with you and I'm actually jealous when I hear that I'm like, Tam, I never had a mom tell me like, Okay, now let's do this, like, you can be feminine. You know, that's why I thought that I had to be masculine and all that, but you know, that's neither here nor there. So
Unknown Speaker 1:10:18
my same answer. It's my mom. She was very open and honest with us very early about our bodies and about sex and about how you can have sex be part of your lives. And it was a it was great. I mean, my my mother was a huge My mom was a stay at home mom for most of our lives. And she was like, the Pinterest mom of the world. You know, we have good at it. She was amazing. And I guess it makes me a little afraid to have kids because I'm like, I'm never gonna live up. Wonderful childhood that my mother gave us just because she was so open and honest and unable to just transparently teach us about things as we grew up and not have it be. I don't remember it being weird or awkward. I just was part of the conversations that we had in our household and, and I'm grateful for that buy on beyond belief. And my mom's a big advocate of that equality is about being able to talk about things for men and women and not being shamed for your body or different things that I think women are often shamed for when our equal counterparts are not.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:27
I love that. Yeah. I want to shake your mom's hand it sounds like she was just you know, like great communication which is so important you know, and good for good for her good for you. This next segment is a fun game. We're going to end the call with an episode with a game of fuck marry kill and some fan questions sound good marry one kill one go. I think we're done. We're done here. Okay, okay, so perfect. Marry, Kill. I know you're from Colorado. So I gave you Colorado natives. So you have to choose between Tim Allen Dog the Bounty Hunter and Jon Heder. Which is aka Napoleon Dynamite. So you got to tell me who you want to fuck. Who you want to kill and who you want to marry? Well, you're already married but in this make believe world?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:24
Yeah. Um, I would guess i i would say Tim Allen I guess we'll just go in order like I would have sex with Jamal. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 1:12:38
got it.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:40
I guess I would marry the bounty hunter. He seems like he could provide okay for and then I would kill Napoleon Dynamite ah, get a kill Napoleon Dynamite
Unknown Speaker 1:12:55
Okay, that was a fun one. I was like, oh, all these people are from Colorado. That's interesting. Funny. Okay, some fan questions across
Unknown Speaker 1:13:10
social media we've got at Rabee underscore artist, who are your favorite fighters to watch?
Unknown Speaker 1:13:17
Ronda was awesome to watch. Really, I tuned in to any of the female MMA fighters is what I'm currently on. A QB was awesome, too. I'm a big fan of any of the X wrestlers who are doing great things in the sport. I am amaze, a fun exciting thing to kind of see evolve especially I think it has some trickle effect to helping wrestling and so yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, it's been awesome to kind of feed off of some of those pieces. And then I've actually been able to go out and train with like Kayla Harrison and a few others that has, I think been an awesome opportunity to just kind of like share some wrestling based knowledge and get to see a different life of of MMA.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:02
Yeah, awesome. Okay, at Air Media Productions. Ooh, shout out to our editor. Have you ever been asked to do any wrestling moves in the bedroom?
Unknown Speaker 1:14:11
You know, we get really creepy people from social media. It is like the norm unfortunately. I can't even count how many times people are just send a random message like I want to wrestle you and it just comes off as the most creepy thing and people get graphic with it and all that I mean, marriage proposals I mean all sorts of stuff that my teammates and I just like screenshot and send to each other and every once in a while we'll get one that they'll just like copy and paste. And I I got one the other day that said like Sarah Hildebrand Will you please marry me? And I'm like, Sarah, I got your marriage proposal today. Like send it off to her.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:51
Okay, and then this next one it's at she fights to media. This account has the best questions. There's a couple So I didn't write these. Okay, just giving you a warning. This next one is kind of kind of wrong, but also hilarious. Okay, watch your parents sex tape for $200,000 or allow your parents to watch your sex tape for $300,000
Unknown Speaker 1:15:22
I think I'd go to make the more money. So, all right, let my parents watch
Unknown Speaker 1:15:27
and you know, I feel like your mom would be like, good job, Adeline. You're really? She sounds very, like I made that. Yeah. Okay, awesome. Eye contact during a makeout session creepy or passionate?
Unknown Speaker 1:15:44
Um, I think it can come off as creepy, but it's definitely passionate.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:48
No way I say Close your eyes. Goddamnit. Okay, to each their own. If you could give your wrestling ability to one Marvel character, who would it be? The day is all like this question. I don't know. I'm so bad. I don't even know like the difference between DC and Marvel. And I feel like there's a lot of people who are very passionate about that. So I don't want to say the wrong superhero
Unknown Speaker 1:16:14
literally googling Marvel characters. So
Unknown Speaker 1:16:18
these are all questions from as she fights to media. They just got the best questions.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:26
I think Scarlett Johansen is one. Yeah, I think I think I would give her that just, she's I'm such a fan and she's just so beautiful. That would be awesome. If I could be like, hey, those are my powers.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:39
Black Widow Who's that? That's a character that's a superhero or is she a superhero or a bad guy? Villain? Okay, I'll check her out. That's cool. All right. Also from she fights to media. More likely to happen to you in a bar armwrestling challenge or thumb wrestling challenge.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:59
I would say I'm wrestling. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:17:02
you know what? Yeah. Do better date night steak dinner and UFC main card or Italian dinner and rom com movie. You better say UFC numbers Caitlyn, Jenner and UFC. Alright, last question. Would you be interested in competing in a freestyle wrestling slash jujitsu crossover tournament?
Unknown Speaker 1:17:25
I think that'd be fun. I don't know a lot about jujitsu. I've only done a couple practices or roll arounds but I would be very interested in learning a little bit more. So yes, I would. I would be interested.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:36
Your wrestling is so high level that I guarantee you probably would just, you know, kill people by take down take the back rear naked choke take down, take the back. Just be like easy win for you. But
Unknown Speaker 1:17:50
so my actually best. I'm the best at ground game stuff in freestyle wrestling. And so I just tell people, like I only need one takedown to win a match. And so even if I'm down by a lot of points, I'm like, I just need one take down I can figure out how to win. And so I feel like jujitsu is a little bit in that way that sometimes people just kind of like lay down and you can just have ground game which sounds really like my cup of tea.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:13
Yeah, but I'll tell you coming from a wrestling base and then getting into jujitsu. My partner is actually a black belt in jujitsu. Oh, it's so frustrating, you know, just to get used to being on your back like I you know, I've been doing mixed martial arts now for over a decade and I still am just like, Get up, get up, get off my back. You know,
Unknown Speaker 1:18:33
you'll never get those things ingrained. And
Unknown Speaker 1:18:36
yeah, forever. Last question of the whole podcast. Who would you like to hear next on sex and violence with rebel girl?
Unknown Speaker 1:18:44
Oh, I think Kayla Harrison would be fun. Clarissa shields would be fun too. I think she would have an interesting perspective on on some of this elite athlete as a female you know competitor I think she would really bring something fun to the table. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:19:00
I would love to have either one of those high level women on the podcast put a good word in for me girl. I'll try do any any shoutouts I know you work with some amazing charities like wrestle like a girl and beat the streets. I think it's amazing that you're you know, doing so much making history but still giving back.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:20
Thank you. Yeah, I know. I've been blessed with having those organizations in my life rustling girls so awesome. They've just been able to kind of help promote women's wrestling within the high school level and get them sanctioned and so we have a better feeder program for future D one we just got to merchant sports status and Iowa just signed in so it's it's an exciting time to kind of be in the world of women's wrestling and and have it one day you know, look like what our men's D one wrestling looks like, which is just like it's one of the best tournaments in the world for any sport. So it's pretty incredible to be part of that momentum and be able to witness seeing some of these athletes get to have these opportunities that weren't there for us, you know, like we had very limited options, yeah, for our college job opportunities, and they're just going to explode soon, and then beat the streets, just they do. They're in a lot of major cities throughout the country, and they help kids have after school resources, and they teach them wrestling and life skills. And I've just been incredibly blessed to have them show heavyset, hispanic and black women wrestling and have them stick with it. And you just would never like, if someone would have told me that that would be the stereotype of who was going to stick with wrestling out of that organization, I would have never believed it. And I've just been so excited to see these women be part of a team and be a part of learning to love their bodies and learning to put on a wrestling singlet and not have shame with it, but celebrate their strength and their size. And we have so many football players that go and have daughters and are like why do you look like a linebacker and I want those linebackers as part of my world because we as I'm the heavyweight for women's wrestling, and I'm trying to push that heavyweight up a little bit. But the issue is I don't have any women to train with that are bigger than me. And so I need some bigger women who can step into the wrestling world and be competitive and be athletes because I know they're out there. We just need to catch them and get them to play sports. And so I'm excited that it's something that I do think is helping change the world and the landscape for some women who in the past may never have considered playing sports.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:35
Girl I am extremely honest, when I say that wrestling saved my life. You know, the podcast listeners know that I was a shithead kid I got into a lot of trouble actually stabbed somebody when I was 17 years old and went to juvie all this stuff. If it wasn't for wrestling, there's no way I would either be out of jail or alive and beat the streets just reminds me of giving the same opportunity that I had to you know underprivileged kids, women and you know, boys and girls, and I'm so grateful for that program. I really, you know, actually sometimes I feel guilty because I I feel like I don't give back to the wrestling community enough and so I'm actually going to put a link to both of these charities organizations beat the streets as as well as wrestle like a girl in the Episode Notes, guys, please check them out. Donate share, repost whatever it really is. You know, Sinead,
Unknown Speaker 1:22:28
the streets nationals is actually doing a fundraiser in our ad for any donation, you get put in for a free pair of adilyn Gray sign dressing shoes. I saw that today one a pair. You can donate five bucks and you get entered into the drawing. So they're
Unknown Speaker 1:22:42
great shoes, guys. Adeline sent me a pair a few years back and they got stolen actually out of my car. But they're great shoes, guys. No, it's okay. I'll put in for the raffle. I really appreciate you coming on where can we find you and follow you on all social media platforms?
Unknown Speaker 1:22:59
Yeah, I would love for people to follow just kind of this exciting time post Olympics Post World Championship leading up into another Olympics, that's gonna happen really fast. At adilyn Gray. So all my social media handles are just my name. So ad E, li ne, gra y. And I would love to kind of have people be part of part of this journey. So thank you so much. I'm almost at 100,000 followers. So if I could get get to that point through this, that'd be awesome.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:27
You should have a bajillion followers. I know, you're also a part of parody, parody, it works to close the gender pay gap for female athletes and amazing program. I worked with them as well. And that's just one more link, I should actually add into the Episode notes. So thank you, girl. Thank you so much. Anything else you want to say before we go?
Unknown Speaker 1:23:47
No, I think thank you guys so much. And I really appreciate you having me on. And I hope this kind of helps push some of those boundaries of how people view women and strength and power and, and sex. I think it's important for women to be able to talk about that and have it be an equal partnership with men and women being able to have this conversation and and that's the only way we're going to get to quality with men and women is by being on an equal playing field with some of these conversations. So thank you for what you're doing to open the door for that and being so open and, and comfortable with what you're saying because I think it's a real inspiration for the future women who can hopefully be be as open as you are.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:27
Thank you, girl. Have a great day. We're gonna follow your career. Continue to inspire like you do. Just keep being yourself. Talk to you soon. Bye. Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:37
Bye You're in Wow, it's not every day you get to talk to an Olympian and one of the know the baddest American wrestler in history I feel so honored I'm so grateful. And you know, I don't think we talked about it in our interview but I've known Adeline since high school and so to be able to watch her, you know, earn all these medals and awards and make history I'm so so proud of her and so proud of women's wrestling and how far it's come how and what she's done for the sport and continues to do for the sport. This episode was very close to my heart guys, you know, wrestling as my background, and my first love, you know, over boys over, you know, anything wrestling saved my life. And so I hope we can have some more wrestlers on I really do hope that opened the door for some more Olympic College, you know, wrestlers to come on the show. And next week, guys, you're definitely not going to want to this kind of the opposite end of the spectrum. Next week's guest is a former mixed martial artists Bare Knuckle boxer and now a referee. He was the inaugural W E C middleweight champion. In the now defunct WEC, he appeared in the inaugural season of The Ultimate Fighter reality series and had 22 fights in the UFC. Known for his toughness and powerful lefthand. I'm talking about Chris, the Crippler lieben. Guys, it's gonna be a great one. Don't miss it. Also, don't forget, check out our website www sex violence with rebel girl.com Pick up a shirt last week to be entered into the giveaway for the signed UFC glove. And yeah, write me an email, sex and violence podcast@gmail.com I love you guys so much. I hope you end this year on a high note. And thank you for always tuning in for all your fan questions. Special thank you to audio engineer DJ Zol at DJ Zol tomorrow Good studio at tomorrow kids official and you can always find us on Instagram at sex and violence with rebel girl and myself at Ashley MMA. Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I sure fucking did. Remember guys, be kind, be grateful. But don't take shit from anyone. Talk to you next week with more tales of sex and violence.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai