Ep.85 Bunnie DeFord aka Bunnie Xo
Sex and Violence Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with Rebel Girls, where we interviewed top level MMA fighters and other experts in their fields about love, dating, romance and that politic taboo subjects.
Unknown Speaker 0:31
I'm your host, Ashley, rebel girl, Evan Smith. Now let's talk about today what's happening? The hot stuff? What's up all my naughty listeners? Okay, Spotify is working again. I've been working on that for like the last two months, and tell all your friends because if you're listening, you're obviously probably listening on Apple. Or maybe you figured it out already. But we're always on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon pod bean, all those other ones. And now we're back on Spotify, which was my favorite platform because I love music, and it's just the funnest one. So tell a friend spread the word. We're back. How was your weekend? My weekend was pretty fucking awesome. I haven't really been doing too many extracurricular activities. I've been focusing on my PT and staying healthy and getting lots of sleep which is boring as fuck, but the end game is always get back in the cage as you guys know, but I went little little wild about as wild as you can your sobriety I guess but uh, I went to Lucia Baboom. And I've talked talk to you guys zone loves that. luta vobu Yeah, actually, when you go, they say Lucia and then you got to scream vobu It's a great time guys. Check it out. The next one's going to be actually on Cinco de Mayo, and a lot of Mexicans going very hard. So if you want to check out the tickets, it's Lucia vavoom.com. They are not paying me to say that, but I was offered a commentating position from a friend. I don't know if that's gonna work out. But I would love to be a part of the show. Actually, I've been to three now. So if I go to the Cinco de Maya one, that will be four. It's just so much fun. There's burlesque dancers sexy ladies. You get to see some movies and some booty. And then the Lucia doors are there you know they're not just like, you know clothes lining each other they're like high flying flipping flying through the air is super exciting guys. Check it out. Lucia boom calm or I think their IG is at Lucia voom. And shout out to Sergio the homie who hooked us up with tickets he always just great great hospitality brings us drinks just makes us feel like oh actually this time they like a little shout out they like called my name out and everything and I was like, Oh shit. Oh, no, I did the way but I felt like a nerd but whatever. And then Saturday night, I got to go down to Temecula and visit my homie Dan Kenny and his brother was in town. Shout out to pat. Those guys are just super fun and some of the his bandmates Dan Kenny's in Suicide Silence. He's been on the podcast if you guys have listened to? Oh, yeah, actually, the only visual podcast if you guys want to check out that it's on our YouTube page that I have completely slacked. But that's one of my goals for this year is to get our YouTube up and running. And I've got some really good news. But I'm not going to tell you quite yet. Just know that things are a Bruin for us and things are on the up and up. But they're not always I've had actually some hard shit happened last couple of weeks. And I don't talk about my sobriety all the time on the podcast I do. I think I talk about it kind of often. So if you're a first time listener, then you know, this will be the first time you hear me say it. But for those of you who keep tuning in and are dealing with your own sobriety and going through your own journey, whew. I had a rough time a few weeks ago, about a week or two ago, and it was one of those times where, you know, everything's going really shitty, you know, and, you know, this weekend when I went to go hang out with my friends. I was going a little nervous because, you know, just being around the party scene and people drink in and, you know, sometimes people doing some drugs around you and it's like, I know I'm not going to just relapse, but I do feel like when times are shitty, that's the time that you really want to drink or relapse right. And yeah, I had a great time over the weekend. But it got me thinking that I haven't really spoke about my sobriety, you know? While on the podcast so just know guys that a two and a half year sober and I feel like that's nothing in the big, the big picture right but every day is definitely a blessing because when things are really going bad and you really want to fucking drink, I just keep telling myself like, Okay, if I do drink is this gonna make the situation better or worse and at the end of my thought process, I'm always like, alright, things are shitty right now, but at least I still have my sobriety and I'm proud of it. You know, like, it's kind of corny every month that goes by I'm like, Yeah, closer to you know, another year and then every year that goes by I'm like, oh, closer to like, a decade and I want to be one of those people who is who are, you know, 1020 years sober and give inspiration to other people DJs all sober to shout out DJs or how long have you been sober? Six years in June, six years in June? Yeah. And it's just great. You know, because I love having, you know, people like DJs or actually our guest today is sober as well and we talk a little bit about that. So stay tuned for that but that's enough of my sobriety ranting some of you guys are probably drinking a beer listen to this podcast and that's okay too. You lucky back bastards if you don't have Yeah, I'm just jealous you know, but Alright guys, that's pretty much it, please rate and review the podcast. Somebody just sent me a screenshot this morning of a review and then I told them send me your address. And now I'm going to be sending this dude, some free stickers in the mail. So if you want the same thing, rate review the podcast, Apple, Spotify, whatever you listen to. Thank you. And Alright, let's talk about the fights tomorrow. We have UFC Vegas 48 It's Walker versus Hill. The light heavyweights Johnnie Walker and Jamal Hill. Shout out Jamal Hill he's a sucker punch guy will be headlining the UFC Vegas 48 card. The rest of the car looks pretty awesome, too. We got Kyle daucus versus Jamie Pickett. Jim Miller God how many fights is that guy have now 21 million fights Jim Miller. What I think veteran I think Jim Miller versus Yeah, our Lasky last weekend. Nicholas Mota. Does that mean smoking Spanish motor. Cannabis and Spanish
Unknown Speaker 7:25
doesn't mean cannabis or just any kind of smoke, motor. Smoke smoke. That's their slang. That's a cool nickname. I wonder what is. I mean, last name. Nicholas Mota. Okay and then we got Abdul Razak Al Hasan versus Joaquin Buckley. That guy is always exciting. Alon Badat versus Parker Porter. And then the prelims are Chad, and Hellinger. Versus Jesse straighter chess, Skelly versus Mark Striegel. Mario Battista versus collied versus sorry, Khalida Tarhana ta Taha. And then Deanna Belvita versus gloria de Paula, Jessica Rose Clark versus Stephanie Egor. Gabrielle Bonita is vs. David own Nama and Jonathan piers versus Christian Rodriguez, man, Zachariah, the homie, the follower and our listener who gave me the cheat sheet. Where were you on that one? Come on. Sorry, guys. Always kill the names, but I'm trying here. So check us out if you guys didn't know I say it every week. We've got a website sex violence with rebel girl calm. We'll actually be putting up some new merch designs. Our guy Sergio. Same guy who hooks us up with Lucia boom tickets. He's our just podcast, graphic designer. And he's always thrown out new designs usually punk rock themed. But yeah, they're awesome. And I'm going to be adding some of those to the website very soon. So check out the T shirts or any gear really, there's like mugs and jackets and all that too. And you guys can email us always it's sex and violence podcast@gmail.com. This is where you guys can send us some guest suggestions or some questions for an upcoming guest. Or if you want to be a sponsor of the podcast, we are in negotiation with a certain streaming service right now. And all I want to say is, now's the time to jump on at a lower cost. Because pretty soon, we're going to be too popular. No, just kidding. We're gonna be we'll have a lot. We'll have more numbers and it will be a little bit more leverage when we're negotiating sponsors. So jump on now guys, send us an email if you have a business or a company that you want to promote on the podcast, sex and violence podcast@gmail.com Alright, let's talk about some of our sponsors, who we have right now. I'm so excited guys, okay, and I say guys, not The girls Sorry ladies, this one's not for you. This one is for all my listeners with some whiskers. You know, like mutton chops, a goatee mustache, a full mint. No, no one has full men's shoes anymore. But about like a side beard or a neck beard or just a good old fashion, you know, face beard. This is for you guys. We are now in partnership with the best facial hair oil in the business. And they're called Rebel apothecary how fitting is that? It's perfect, right? We didn't even plan that these guys are the best. They're the best beard oil in the game. And they I know this because not because I have a beard. But I know many hairy men jujitsu guys MMA fighters, and I've given this product to them. 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Connect with them on social media for all their latest product releases and giveaways. That's at perfect sports TM again, connect with them on social media for all the latest products and giveaways at perfect sports. TM choose perfect sports be great. Today's guest is an American model YouTuber and owner of dumb blonde productions. The 42 year old hosts the dumb blonde podcast that digs deep into the past of her guests and gives light to current issues and even has her guest play outlandish games. As a model. She's appeared in music videos, magazines and been on Playboy TV, a Las Vegas native and the wife of rapper Jelly Roll. She's appeared in Jelly Rolls, music videos and live performances. We talk graveyard sex stunt coffers groupie pussy. Cocaine enemas from stripping to high price escort you through sobriety being offered to kick a guy in the balls. swinger bars are the safest, open relationships and boundaries and much more. Here's your guest bunny to Ford aka bunny XO try you out of this kit you try to make me feel sorry just because this dumb blonde day when you left you thought I'm sick. You thought I thought I cry you. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 14:33
we're here with bunny to Ford, aka bunny X. Oh, funny. Thank you so much for coming on. I've been wanting to have you on for a while.
Unknown Speaker 14:41
Dude. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.
Unknown Speaker 14:43
And we had a quick little pre episode call and you made me feel extra special. You said that you don't really do other podcasts?
Unknown Speaker 14:52
No, I you know cuz I have my own podcast. So I need to start probably branching out more and I figured why not start with my girl I've been trying to get you on the podcast wherever to so hopefully, next time I'm on the West Coast and we can get you on.
Unknown Speaker 15:06
Yeah. Are all your podcasts in person? Or do you do anything remote.
Unknown Speaker 15:10
They're all in person. I, whenever COVID hit and 2020 I did a few ones online, and I just didn't like it. I like to feel people, you know, like, I want to feel their energy, I want to hug them. I want to just have them in my presence. So I travel a lot for the podcast.
Unknown Speaker 15:29
That's amazing. Yeah, that's the goal. But you know, for me, you know, since I started the podcast, during the pandemic, I can only do remote. And my goal in the future is to have my own studio, like you do and have everyone come in studio. But let's talk about your podcast for a minute. What's it about? I mean, I listened to it for the first time I feel bad saying this, but I finished it the other day when I was doing my research on you. And it's surprisingly similar to sex and violence. So, in your own words, what's your podcast about?
Unknown Speaker 16:02
So I started the podcast, because to tell my story, when, you know, my husband and I first got together, people would try to shame me and be like, oh, you know, jellies, girls from Vegas. She's a working girl. She's this and you know, there was just so many rumors flying around about me. And I remember, ever since I was a little girl I always wanted like my own radio show. My DJ name was Lacey Carter. And I had this little yellow boombox, where I would literally record myself, like having a talk show, and then I would have musical interludes, and I would record like songs off the radio. And then I was introduced to Howard Stern. And so I was just like, oh my god, you know, fucking I want to be the female Howard Stern. I've just always been obsessed with him. Yes, I know. He's in the news right now for some, you know, wacky shit, but I don't get involved in politics. He's just a fucking genius all around. So whenever all that was happening with Jay and I, J just sat me down, and he's like, Babe, tell your story. He's like, own the shit, and in control your narrative. And I was like, You know what? You're right. So literally, my podcast was born at our dining room table. And that's where I started and then have worked my way up to where we are now.
Unknown Speaker 17:15
I love that. Yeah. Do you feel a sense of accomplishment? Do you feel like those rumors are put to rest? Like, did you get what you were looking for out of the podcast.
Unknown Speaker 17:25
Um, so I don't think I'm ever gonna feel accomplished. I'm one of those people who like, as soon as I achieve a goal, I'm on to the next one. So I always feel like I'm not doing enough, even though everybody around me tells me all I do is work and I need to calm down. But um, as far as getting my narrative out there, I got to tell my side of the story. And for those who want to, you know, embrace it and accept it, that's fine. But you know, of course, with honesty, there comes hate to so it's like, I get the best of both worlds. But the majority of people embrace the podcast. And so my podcast, I've turned into just having all walks of life come on, to be able to tell their story of addiction, their story of you know, sexual abuse, their story, just anything that they've gone through. I love dissecting people's trauma, and then having a comeback story. I love comeback kids. That's my jam.
Unknown Speaker 18:18
Yeah, I love that. And I feel a strong sense of female empowerment on your podcast, when I listen to it. It's always directed towards strong women, or whenever you talk about other women, you're always boosting them up lifting them up, instead of instead of like, you know, crushing. Yeah, tearing them down. And so I love that as well. Do you have kind of like a format? Do you talk about sex? Do you talk about, you know, like you said, their traumas? Or is it more of like an open forum?
Unknown Speaker 18:46
It's more of an open forum, you know, because I have guys that when I first started it, you're right. I only wanted women on like, I was like, this is just going to be all about women, blah, blah, blah. And then I realized there's so many guys who listen to my podcast. I mean, we we hit a million downloads last year. And I started yesterday, and that's not including plays podcasting. I'm so upset with how as podcasters are treated, because it's like, there, we don't get the notoriety that we deserve. You know, all the hard work and the blood, sweat and tears that we put into it. We don't even get like really accurate numbers, you know, and they don't have like, things for us to really promote all of our podcasts or self promotion unless you sign up with a company. Yeah, you know, so us hitting a million downloads on our own last year was like really awesome. That's huge. Yeah, it was really huge. But so now I have men come on, and I've kind of just created a safe place where people can come and talk about whatever it is they want to talk about. You want to talk about your childhood. Let's talk about that. You want to talk about, you know, your most recent project. Let's talk about that. We talked about everything like nothing is is off the table.
Unknown Speaker 19:58
Yeah, I love the podcast, guys. I said this earlier on social media, but I'll say it again. If you like this podcast sex of violence with rebel girl, I guarantee you like the dumb blonde podcast, I checked it out, I binged and there's it's, I'd say primarily sex based is that a
Unknown Speaker 20:17
very sexy Yeah, I'm a very sexually driven female. But I don't use sexuality as as a crutch. I use it as an empowerment, if that makes sense. So it's like, I just can't help it. I have a dirty mind. So shit, just, and I have no filters. So shit just flies out of my mouth at all times. You never know what's gonna fuckin come out of my mouth.
Unknown Speaker 20:40
I know, we talked briefly. And I told you, I'm always worried about getting canceled. And you said, you give zero fucks about being canceled. And I think that comes off in your podcast, they can hear that you don't care. And it's authentic and real. So check out the podcast, guys. But we're not here to talk about your podcast. I want to get to know you. And I'm going to start early off and your background kind of like, Where were you born and raised? What was childhood like?
Unknown Speaker 21:07
I was born and Houston. I'm in a cold January morning. And, you know, I grew up in Vegas, we moved to Vegas when I was five. i My dad was a musician. And he raised me pretty much like Three Men and a Baby. I was raised by my two uncles and him and my stepmom came along. Yeah, seriously, they used to take me to bars and sit me on a pin tape and upon a pinball table. And like that, that was my entertainment while they got shit faced. And then he met my step mom, and all the fun stopped and she was just super fucking abusive and just a terrible woman. But on the other hand, I also have to thank her for everything that she put me through because she taught me how to be a woman, you know. So there's like, there's always a silver lining. I ended up leaving home at 14 never went back home. I ran away, my parents kept trying to like, get me back. And I just every time they would get me back, I would leave. And finally, my parents had enough of it and just gave up trying to get me to come home. They ended up moving back to Texas and I stayed in Vegas got my first job. And I was like, I think I was like a fucking lifeguard or something. No, no, I'm sorry. I work at Fat burger first. That was and then two weeks at Fat burger. And I was like, fuck this, I'm going going on to something else. So I found something that I could be in a bathing suit. And I was a lifeguard at Wet wild for like fucking three fucking years. And then I got into real estate. And then I hopped into stripping I got cheated on by an ex who cheated on me with a stripper. And I was like, You know what? If she can do it, I can do it. So I was like, hold my beer over? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 22:54
Some embarks? Yeah, sure. Stripping was, you know, a big change from fat burger. And when we actually our last guest was a bare knuckle boxer and stripper. And so that was kind of our first episode that was really primarily we spoke about, you know, being a dancer and the life that surrounds it. So do you want to tell us about what that was? Like for you? How long do you do it? Some of the pros and cons of stripping?
Unknown Speaker 23:23
I'm probably like, the wrong person to ask about the adult industry because I always find a positive and every negative. So, you know, I was molested as a child. And I dealt with a lot of sexual abuse as a child. And when I became a dancer, and got involved in the adult industry, I took my power back. And I was just like, you know, men had to pay me to touch me men had to pay me to talk to me, you know, so it just gave me the sense of empowerment. And I always treated it like a business like a lot of girls, you know, get into the party scene and stuff like that. And that's fine. And that's their path, but and I did too. I mean, I went balls to the wall, but I always kept work work. And then I would party afterwards. So I always made a shitload of money. I mean, I was dancing in Vegas, and like the era that dancing was still taboo and shit back in my day. So it despite what Google says, I am not 27 Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 24:23
well, you fooled me. I told you earlier. You could have passed her 27 I was just like, oh, jelly is robbing the cradle.
Unknown Speaker 24:30
Yeah, no. Yeah. Isn't that sick? That's probably what everybody thinks. I'm the one. I'm the one that's robbing the cradle.
Unknown Speaker 24:38
Oh, yeah. And then I was like, Wait, she has a kid. That's how old I was like, I'm bad at math. But she must have been Yeah, really young. Yeah. So you're you're in this you know, I mean, it's not bad that you put, you know, a happy light on your situation. That's good that you felt found some kind of, you know, power in the situation. I feel like everyone has This kind of opinion of being a stripper that's like degrading and you know, you're at the lowest level in your life. And the last two people I've spoke to, they feel like you said empowered, it is taking your sexuality back. I'm recently I've decided it's not only fans called Fan time, but I'm starting my own. And I think a lot of people, not that I give a fuck, but they'll be like, Oh, God, you know, she must be at her lowest low financially. And it's not about that, like, you know, I have talked to so many women who love having their only fans or their fan time or being an exotic dancer. And it's not about, you know, doing it for money. It's about owning who you are having a good time and celebrating your body. And so I'm excited because I love that there's women like you out there who can put that mindset about their sexuality out there.
Unknown Speaker 25:51
Absolutely. And I feel like that is such an outdated opinion. Anybody who comes to me and they're like, Oh, my God, she must be at our lowest because she's taking her clothes off. It's like, no, dipshit I'm actually smart as fuck, and I'm capitalizing off what God gave me. You know, like, I just think people who have opinions of people like that are the same people who are either cheating on their wives or participating in paying for dances or the wives of somebody that's getting cheated on. Or you know, like, there's always a reason why somebody has to just stigma with with women who are comfortable with their bodies, you know, and I think it's more so what's cool is we get to control the narrative. If we want to put a pic a topless pic out there. We're controlling that we're putting that into the universe. Nobody else is doing that. We are in control of our bodies. We're in control of our empire that will we're building and, you know, if everybody wants to hate on that, then they can suck it while it's off. The back bench on apologetically, okay.
Unknown Speaker 26:56
Yeah, I love that. So how long were you a stripper for?
Unknown Speaker 27:00
Oh, 12 long years. So
Unknown Speaker 27:02
long years. And in that time, I only found this out recently because I was binging your podcast that you were an escort and also had sugar daddies Correct? Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 27:13
Now I am the sugar daddy. I love that. So you know, as with anything, the stripping and escorting go hand in hand, if girls say I only work in the club, I've never tried to trick they're lying. Unless they literally just started a month ago. You know, a lot of dancers end up being called girls. I, again, I'm the wrong person to ask about this. Because like I said, I've always been about my bag, I was a high price call girl, you're not going to get me out of bed for you know, less than $5,000. So it's like, you know, there. People might look down on it and stuff like that. But at the same time, it's just like, I was given an opportunity to make a shitload of money before only fans even came out. And I took advantage of it. But the thing is, is I always had a moral compass. Like I used to try to work regular jobs, and also have my, you know, adult industry job. And I did that for about two years, two or three years juggling it. And then I just got to a point where I was like, You know what, why am I going to let people's opinions don't pay my bills? You know, like, I don't care what anybody has to say, I'm just gonna do this full time and write it out. I did. Did I ever imagined that I would be 42 still making a shitload of money off my body? Fuck no. When I was 20 that I was going to be done at 30. And then at 30 I was like, Oh, well, oh my god, I waste another year. I mean, I am at 42 Still competitively amazing 21 year olds, so you can really make this a fuckin lifestyle. You can play your cards, right?
Unknown Speaker 28:49
And I think it's about doing what you said before keeping, you know, your profession professional and treating your body. You know, like, it's if you live fast and live hard, you're not going to be able to make it you know, successfully into your 30s or 40s and make the same kind of money because you know, let's face it, we get old we wrinkle, we don't take care of our bodies. And I've just started really realizing that I'm just lucky because I was in the you know, athletic career for so long. I had to eat right and workout and then I'm thinking about like, post fight life and I'm like, Oh, God, I better like keep it up. Because, you know, we're not getting
Unknown Speaker 29:29
a nice little body on you. Oh, thank you. I don't to tape it out.
Unknown Speaker 29:34
I'm fluffy right now. I've been on the bench for about a year. little over a year, but I'll be back in there soon.
Unknown Speaker 29:40
Are you going to fight again? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 29:42
My listeners are probably fucking fed up with me saying you know, I'm doing this and sorry if I had surgery, injections and stem cells and you know, actually today is the first day that I get to smoke weed after three weeks because I was doing some medical procedures and I've just been taking such good care of my body that, you know, wasn't even smoking. And so I'm really excited for after this podcast, I'm gonna get really high.
Unknown Speaker 30:08
I'm excited for you. I don't even smoke but smoke one for me. So
Unknown Speaker 30:12
I will Yeah, I'm a newer smoker as I stopped drinking about two and a half years ago when I talked to my followers about that and my listeners and, you know, it's just one of the best things I've done for myself, not just my health, but you know, my overall well being and, you know, we talk about sex and buttholes and all that, but we also get, you know, into
Unknown Speaker 30:31
I'm a huge I'm a huge mental health advocate. I've been sober six years. Congrats. 2017 2018 2019 2020. Yeah, so about five or six years I've been sober, off alcohol and like cocaine and Feigin pills. I used to love a good lord ERV in the morning. Good overlord tab in the morning. It's a It's hydrocodone. It's pills, okay, like pain pills is what it was. So I mean, I and the Xanax was my second drug of choice to been sober off that too. And I tell everybody sobriety fucking sucks. But it's so rewarding because you literally embark on a spiritual journey. And to get to know yourself completely sober without something altering your mind is fucking scary and fascinating all at the same time.
Unknown Speaker 31:23
Yeah. Oh, yeah. After so long of not sitting in your thoughts. That's the biggest thing I always tell my listeners, it's like, it's great. But for someone like me who went you know, 30 plus years, ignoring your, your inner voice, it's, it's so much you know, it's like, you just want to you want to quiet your mind and quiet your head. But, but you can't you got to deal with it. But I feel like, each year it gets a little bit easier. I know. Everyone's path is different. But when times are really fucking tough, and I want to drink I always asked myself like, is this gonna make my life better or worse? And I'm like, This is gonna make it way more fucking, you know, stressful, worse, financially hard. And
Unknown Speaker 32:03
I can't drink because the next day my I've never had depression until I got sober. And so I can Yes, hit me exactly. In 2020, like I had always dealt with anxiety. Never had depression. So I used to think people who had depression, were just, I don't want to say weird. I was just like, I can't relate, you know? Yeah. And then fuckin January 2029, I got hit with my first suicidal depression I've ever had in my fucking life. And it fucking laid me out, dude. Like, I had never felt anything like that before. And to this day, I still battle it. And I try to control everything with vitamins. But there's days where I'm like, fuck, I would love to drink a bottle of Belvedere right now. And I think about it. And I'm like, if I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to be fucking 10 times more depressed than I am right now. And what is drinking going to accomplish? You know?
Unknown Speaker 32:54
Yeah, actually, after I get past that, you know, mindset of wanting to drink. You know, I don't need to drink but you sure as hell fucking want to. Once I get over that I realized that even if everything shitty. At least I still have my sobriety. And it's something to be proud of. Absolutely. Right. Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker 33:11
Every day that you go without having to put a substance and mind altering substance in your body is an accomplishment. So be proud of yourself for that.
Unknown Speaker 33:19
You too. Thank you so much. And I love you know, just bringing it to light even on a sex podcast because people hear that and they you know, just that little reminder could help somebody else
Unknown Speaker 33:27
and sex and alcohol go together.
Unknown Speaker 33:31
First time I had to sober I was like, this sucks. This is not as great as I thought I
Unknown Speaker 33:38
was in Texas. My favorite dude, if I can turn into a porn star, rabbit when I drink, dude, sober sex. I'm like fucking Molly from the library. I'm like, I don't know if I can do that. Like and then I think back to things I did do when I was drunk. And I'm like, God, who is that girl?
Unknown Speaker 33:54
Yeah. And we tend to glamorize the good parts of drinking, right? And then when we really sit down and think about all the fucked up times, we're like, oh, there were way worse. Sloppy, messy, embarrassing moments and there were fun times, right.
Unknown Speaker 34:10
Oh, yeah, I fucked up friendships. You know, being on Xanax and drinking. I fuckin I stole shit. Have you ever been on Xanax and fuckin been in a store? And we tell you it's like a fucking free for all. Just like my thing. I'm gonna slip this in my pocket.
Unknown Speaker 34:25
What helped you get sober?
Unknown Speaker 34:28
You know, I don't really know, Jay and I were on. We were touring with yellow Wolf. And it was on the trial by fire tour. And I remember we were driving to the next state. And I looked over at him and I just said, I don't want to take this shit anymore. I don't want to shoot in my bloodstream. I just when I am. I'm like over something. I'm like abruptly over it. And that's it. And so from that day on, I weaned myself off of Xanax. And I weaned myself off of Lortabs. I had already stopped doing blow probably like, six months prior to that, because I used to get drunk and then I'd be like, oh, I need to snort an eight ball. Yeah, you know, I stopped doing that. And I just knew that it wasn't healthy. I could feel like if you look back on pictures of me from six years ago, I look older than than I do now. Oh, yeah. Cuz I was literally fucking just party in my ass off. And I just wanted, yeah, I just wanted to change. So from that day forward, I just continue to change. And then the next year is when I gave up alcohol. And I was like, I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to be completely sober and see what it's like, boy, it's been a fucking ride.
Unknown Speaker 35:39
Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I think a lot of people that I've, that I talked to in the early stages of my sobriety and face it, like, I still am only a year and a half or two years sober. But, you know, everyone's been very honest with me and just been like, it's not, it's not fucking easy. And don't, you know, don't think that it's going to get easier. I mean, there are moments where it feels easier, but one bad day, and it could feel just as fucking hard as the first month of sobriety. And that's hard to hear. Because almost with anything else in life, if you practice and, you know, you can get better and it becomes easier like with fighting, right? It's like, I remember getting my ass beat for the first few months of MMA and then you get better. And then when you get better at something, that's when it's becomes enjoyable. But then sobriety, it's like, okay, you never, it never really gets truly easier. Because one bad day, and you can just feel like shit, but yeah,
Unknown Speaker 36:35
well, we're addicts. If you think about it, we're addicts. So you have to look at it. Like we're literally a wound that has closed, but can be ripped open at any time. Yeah. So it's like it anything from childhood trauma to fuckin abuse to just anything triggers us, you know? And you have to, it's great. It's about breaking generational curses. It's just you have to have the mindset of like, do I want to be like, you know, whoever raised me, or do I want to go down this path? Or do I want to be another statistic? It's like, you just have to have sheer fucking will to just want to be somebody who you weren't groomed to be?
Unknown Speaker 37:13
Yes, I completely agree. And that's what I was gonna say when you said you just kind of woke up one day. Most people it takes like bottoming out like a complete rock bottom jail or some kind of medical situation, but you just had enough of your own shit. And that's amazing. Am I?
Unknown Speaker 37:31
Well, I went through a really abusive relationship where I almost lost my life. Right before I was with Jay like, I mean, I'm talking like it was severely abusive. I talked about it a lot on my social medias. And I think, the PTSD from that and just trying to work through the abuse, there was no way I was going to be able to get through all of the horrible things that were done to me. If I stayed locked up. I would have just continued to be a perpetual victim and my personality is I'm not a fucking victim. Yeah, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna fight back. I'm gonna get up punch life in the face and be like, you hit like a bitch. And that's exactly what I did. And I've been fighting ever since.
Unknown Speaker 38:12
I love that now. Does jelly drink? Because for Mo Yeah, yeah, see, my partner doesn't drink. He's a big smoker, which has, because I'm so fucking, you know, susceptible to my surroundings. I've become more of a smoker as well. But I'm way happier smoking than I ever was drinking. And when we first started dating, we've been together for over two years now. I was like, Okay, I can't date someone who's a drinker, because I just don't trust myself. How do you deal with that? I mean, I know he's your man. He's your husband. He you know, he's on tour. He's partying.
Unknown Speaker 38:47
So I tour with Jay all the time I took last year off just because spiritually and mentally I just, I had toured with him so much for the first fucking four and a half, five years that I was just like, I need a fucking break. So anytime that I would go back on tour, everybody's like, shit faced around me. And I realized that people who are drunk think they're so fucking cool. And really, they're not like, it is like, the only sober one in the room. You're just like, Bro God, but my husband and I have a really, really cool relationship. Like he lets me be me. And I let him be him. Sorry, I needed a drink. I'm not about all of water. And I just I respect him that he's an artist. That's part of his thing. He's a fucking rock star. So who am I to I can come in and you know, get shit faced with him the first you know, year and a half two years of our marriage and then go completely sober and be like, Hey, bro, you can't be a rock star anymore. Yeah, you know, I that would be like me taking his shine away and I would never want to do that. So he goes out. He'll go out and I'm a homebody. So like he goes out and he parties he'll come home shit faced. I'll make him food. Like I don't care. Like he's at the studio right now writing an album drinking, you know? So it's like that, that makes him happy. So I don't try it on his on his happiness.
Unknown Speaker 40:09
That's great. I mean, I just, I think about myself and I just, I know I couldn't do it, maybe it's, you know, to each their own. I just I just know that right now maybe in a few years, 510 years, I could be with someone who drinks but you know, that's
Unknown Speaker 40:25
your journey is your journey. So you're gonna use it. It accustomed to have whatever you need. If some somebody drinking triggers you then you're more than, you know, welcome to not have those people around you. This is your sobriety. And that's more important than any relationship. You know. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 40:44
You just got to put your sobriety first and I'm lucky that I found a partner who doesn't Yeah, two fucks about alcohol. I just must smoke weed all day.
Unknown Speaker 40:51
Absolutely. And I know Jay, I'll get there one day. But right now is not that day.
Unknown Speaker 40:57
Yeah. So back to when you were a dancer and the sugar daddies and escort. Now, when you're an escort? I mean, am I naive to ask this question, but do you have to have sex with your clients?
Unknown Speaker 41:10
I mean, I could sit here and lie like every other female does. You don't have to but yeah, you do. Yeah. And I mean, I like I said, it was more of me. I never looked at it. Like, oh my god, I have to go and see more. The only clients I ever had were oldman. I never had young men that were clients. Because for one, I just learned at a very young age that it's better to be an old man sweetheart than a young man's slave. I don't even know if I'm allowed to use that word anymore. But I don't know. But believe it if I
Unknown Speaker 41:39
if I'm not allowed. But it's such a great saying. I mean, it's true. It really
Unknown Speaker 41:43
is. And and so I learned that at a really young age. So and like I said, I always treated it like a business. So I was like, if I'm going to have a sugar daddy, and I'm going to have to sleep with somebody. They're going to literally be you know, old enough to be my grandpa and have a shitload of fucking money. You know? So yeah, I mean, there. Did I have to do it all the time? No, like, about seven times out of 10 You're more of a fucking therapist. These men want somebody to complain about their wives to or actually get advice. And you know, like, I used to have a lot of clients who would just hit me up and just pay me to tell them like, what to do if they were fighting with their wife or date ideas for their wives and stuff like that, you know?
Unknown Speaker 42:23
Yeah. Did you ever consider doing dominatrix work?
Unknown Speaker 42:28
See, okay. It takes a certain type of female to want to kick a man and his bowl. Okay. First time I ever fuckin Step Four on a dance floor was at cheetahs and Las Vegas fucking shithole of America. And fuckin this guy walks up to me, and he's like, I'll give you $700 If you take me VIP right now and kick me in my balls. Wow. And I would look my first night on the fucking floor. And I'm just like, this little fuckin you know, I think I was like, 19 at the time. It scared me so bad. I didn't go back to dancing until I was 21. Just because he asked. I was just like, What the fuck is wrong with this guy? He wants to fucking balls in his throat like, stripper heels are fucking massive. I just don't I don't get off on hurting people like that. But I have learned through the years especially having like Dom's on my podcast that that's not all about pain. Every dominatrix specializes in something different. I don't think I could I just don't. I'm more of a sweet person to where it's like, you get more? What is it? You get more bees with honey? So I don't think I could ever like just treat somebody like shit and just be like, you're beneath me. Give me all your money. I would feel like such a fucking asshole if I did that, you know? Yeah. And
Unknown Speaker 43:44
I think that you like you said it just takes a certain type of person. I I think it sounds like such easy money. But if you're not into I feel like the submissive or client will will know Right? I mean, oh, absolutely. And we've had,
Unknown Speaker 44:02
can we normalize people not saying that sex sex work is easy. Like, so many people in the world think that sex sex work is easy. And I'm sorry, I'm here to tell everybody it is not it is a hustle even having an only fans. Like, it's a lot of fucking work. And I don't think people realize how much work goes into it. They're just like, oh, well, you just lay there and spread your legs like no, it's more of a battle of the minds. You know, like to keep somebody interested and to you know, make them want to give you their money. Like that's not fucking easy, dude.
Unknown Speaker 44:37
Yeah, I'm about to embark on that. It's not only fans, but it's fan time. I just said my first photo shoe and like, I'm like, a 14 year old girl the chunky little girl before I started wrestling before I went to college and like that's how I feel all the time. And I just got these new titties and I'm like, not even like, I haven't like I like barely even show them on social media. And like here I am like embarking on this new adventure, but like, I'm excited, just just like you said, it's like, I want to feel good about my sexuality and empowered and yeah, like someone's gonna pay me to look at my body than Fuck yeah, so any tips? Any advice?
Unknown Speaker 45:18
Yeah, so just to touch on what you just said, what's cool about this only fans era because I have been in the adult industry since I was 21. So we're going on 20 Fuckin years now, you know, 11 Um, you know, only fans has opened up these, you know, fan time, or whatever it is. Vandelay there's so many of them now that you can do, um, has opened doors to all types of women, there are women on only fans that are 60 something years old, not your typical sex worker. You know, like, when people think about sex workers, they think women have to be perfect. And they have to be no, like, these women are just literally like, your grandma's next door that are making fucking $100,000 a month. You know, like, there is a fucking market for everybody. It doesn't matter what your body type is. If you're you said, you're feeling like the chunky little girl and it's like, no, there's gonna be there's gonna be people who just are signing up because they want to talk to you. It's not even about seeing you naked. Only fans makes it to where people can have a personal relationship with you. And, you know, can get in contact with you whenever they want to at their leisure. They're buying into your brand, not just your body.
Unknown Speaker 46:31
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I think like you said, it's just all about feeling empowered. And I I'm hoping that when I you know, start to do the photoshoots and post the pictures and make some money, I do feel empowered. Because, for me, I feel my most sexy when I'm able to work out and train and I'm not able to do that right now because of my spine surgery and just this long ass road of recovery. Right? So, you know, for me to even like, you know, feel comfortable in a bikini, let alone a half naked photoshoot. It's it's a big step for me. And I'm challenging myself. And, you know, someone could say like, oh, it's fucking easy to take your clothes off. But it's not. It's not. You know, I could never be a stripper. I could never get up there and feel confident about my body. You know? So this is like, it's this. This is me challenging myself.
Unknown Speaker 47:22
Dude, I'm hella proud of you. For real, it takes a lot of guts and fucking glory to put yourself out there on the internet especially. But what's cool is, you know, you get to control your narrative. And you were asking about tips. All all people want is consistency. Just like what you do with this podcast. Channel that into your page that you're building to because people want consistency if you stay consistent, get on a schedule, stuff like that, you know, on my only fans I send out probably I've given away free game hair girls are gonna kill me, but I send out you know, probably seven to eight fucking pieces of content a day. Oh, wow. And that. Yeah. And you have to do that in order to keep but I've also made millions of dollars, you know? So it's like, you have to be consistent. You have to give the consumer options daily. They don't want to see the same shit every day. You know? And that's why I say it's a lot of fucking work and people don't realize that so you know, if I were you I would definitely before you start get at least 50 I don't know if you're going to do videos. What are you doing pictures videos?
Unknown Speaker 48:29
Both I guess I'm just just started and yeah, I was. What's the word directed to compile kind of like a backlog right of like 20 or so videos and pictures. Yep. Before I launch it. So I guess throwing a teaser out there for the listeners and building some kind of, you know,
Unknown Speaker 48:48
we'll all sign up. Here you got your first sub right here.
Unknown Speaker 48:53
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Unknown Speaker 50:09
So, we've been together six or seven years, six, six going on seven years. And when I first got with Jay, I think the misconception is, especially on fucking social media is everybody's like, Oh, she's a gold digger, you know, and I'm just like, bro, do you guys know how much fucking money I had before I got with him. Like, I never needed his money. But when I got with Jay, he, he didn't have money. And I was fucking spending money. Like, who fucking, you know, like, I just knew I could make it. So I never really like knew how to save or how to manage it or anything like that. So we were just both two fucking candles blowing in the wind, you know? And, like, nobody had known who he was. I, J has been in the industry since 2010. And I think people are always like, well, he's been famous since 2010. And I'm like, No, he hasn't. I've seen my husband play shows to fucking 15 people. You know, like, just because somebody has been on the internet since 2010. That doesn't equate to fans and following and stuff like that. So we got together, we met in 2015 at a moonshine bandit concert. I was there with my ex boyfriend, the abusive one. He was an acquaintance of one of Jays old acquaintances. And we got introduced and I remember the first time we met, I tell everybody, it sounded so fucking cliche, but it was like, I knew him. I was like, it was like, My soul was like, there you are. And he felt the same way. But I didn't know you know, because of course, we're both too gangster. So we're not trying to fucking evolve vibes. And I was in a relationship. He was in a relationship. So it wasn't until my ex went to prison in 2016 that we ended up getting together, he had called me for some advice about his daughter, who's the daughter that we have Bailey, we have full custody of her. And it just snowballed from there. He came out to see to shoot some videos, he said, but in reality, it was really to come out and see me. And, you know, we, I took advantage of him the first night. I literally like forced him to fuck me. It was like in the funniest shit ever, because he was like, so intimidated. And I was just like, bro, just fuck me. Like, I don't even care. And he's like, No, I need to know your five year plan. And I'm like, bro, it is six o'clock in the fucking morning. And we're drunk his shit. Like, put your penis on me. And he wouldn't do it until I gave him my five year plan. And the crazy thing is, is we scratched off the last thing on our five year plan last year. What was though, like, buying our first house?
Unknown Speaker 52:48
Wow. So he wanted to make sure that you had goals before he fucked you.
Unknown Speaker 52:55
Yeah, well, I don't know if it is that it was more of him trying to lock me down for the next five years. You're going to give me your game plan. And we're going to make this happen together and back in you're not going anywhere. And it's so funny because I'm we're both commitment phobes like him, and I do not like relationships. It's not our jam. We have an open relationship, which throws people off because they're like, Oh my God, what do you mean, you have an open relationship. And it's, you know, I've been in the industry such a long time that, you know, I know my husband's a rock star, he's gonna want to bang groupies, and I'm gonna want to bang groupies. So it's like I bring girls home. Like when we're at concerts together. We have threesomes all the time and stuff like that. But we, when we're home, it's like, we're conventional. But when we're out on the road, we're like fucking wild animals. Yeah, so Well, yeah, we just have a we have a really cool thing that dudes my best friend. I love
Unknown Speaker 53:50
that. And with the open relationship, you're right, people just it like blows their minds, even though like everything is evolving, right? And so like, why can your opinion of a relationship evolve? It doesn't have to be one man one moment, and we just fuck each other and no one else. Like there's so many other options out there. But I think the biggest thing for an open relationship is boundaries, right? And just open communication. Like if absolutely lay down the rules first, then you're going to like you're in store for a lot of trouble, right?
Unknown Speaker 54:21
Absolutely. So that's what where people get like, oh my god, you guys are in a really an open relationship. What are you just fucking out here? Fucking people in US desire fucking people. It's like, No, we have boundaries. So, Jay. If he's out on the road, he wants to fuck somebody. I just want to know because I never want a girl coming in my DM being like, Hey, I fucked her husband last night. You know, like, so it's like, tell me before it happens so that I know, you know, and he's the opposite. He's like if you fuck somebody I don't want to know.
Unknown Speaker 54:52
Like, that would be me. I
Unknown Speaker 54:54
gotta find guys can find these so much easier than girls can find stunk guys. Okay, not bad
Unknown Speaker 55:05
Those are big shoes to fill of jellies too, right? I mean, you guys. Yeah, I truly do feel, at least through social media who the fuck what? You know, what do I know? But you guys just seem like such a perfect match, you know? And when you find someone who's like your number one, anyone else like just like you'd like kind of you don't want to Yeah, it's just it's like, your first choice is like on the road. And then you look at your second choice and you're like, it just it looks like leftovers, you know, compared to what you have and like, yeah, you know, that's when I
Unknown Speaker 55:35
always tell everybody I always tell everybody if I'm going to fuckin have a hall pass, it's going to be Chris motionless from motionless and white. And so it's like, it's like a huge joke with my with my following because they all know that it's Chris. So like, I'm sure this guy probably has a fucking restraining order on me now because all my followers I know have tagged him or DM him or something. And he's probably like, this bit just fucking psychotic, you know, like, because everybody always asked me Well, who do you Who do you want to bang as you know, you get a chance to and I'm just like Chris motionless, it just made it so much easier to just put it all on him. So, of course, as ever listening to this, I apologize, dude, it started out as a joke. And now it's just kind of like, fucking grown into this wildfire.
Unknown Speaker 56:19
Well, it could be one of the perks of social media, right? Because there's so much so many things wrong with social media, we are constantly comparing ourselves and only putting our best face forward. And but like, who knows, maybe he slides into your DMS and he's like, What are you doing?
Unknown Speaker 56:37
Oh my god, that would be fucking I've actually slipped his DM trying to get them on the podcast. Oh, he is like, he's like never on social media ever, thankfully. So hopefully, he doesn't see all the fucking tags that he gets.
Unknown Speaker 56:49
So I would ask them sex questions. Of all these jobs you've had being an escort and a stripper? What are some kind of crazy stories? Like what's one wild sexual story that pops out? Maybe like you're the wildest place you've ever had sex or your favorite quickie story, something along those lines?
Unknown Speaker 57:10
Like as far as like work or like in relationships?
Unknown Speaker 57:13
I guess there could be let's go work first. And then we'll do relationships. Because I mean, I'm sure there's some crazy stories from being an escort, right?
Unknown Speaker 57:23
Yeah, I mean, there's this one, where fuckin so in Vegas, they have this thing called services. And what it is, is like services get intercept phone calls, and they send you on these calls and kind of like dispatch you they dispatch hose, the hose. That's pretty much it. Okay. And they set up the clients for you. Well, I was with one of my friends and they dispatched me to a call. And again, I went to this guy's house we walk in and he has an entire fucking hospital room set up in his house. And I'm like, Okay, what the fuck is going on? But I'm always business first. So I was just like, you know, give me my money first, and fucking, we'll figure it out after. So he gives me money, whatever. And he's like, I in there was this fuckin bag that looked like an IV bag hanging and I was like, What do you want us to do with that? And he's like, Well, it's filled with cocaine. And I want you to give me a cocaine enema. Wow. And I was like, you know, I've done a lot of shitty things for money. This is not about to be the first one. I saw I probably get in trouble for saying this but I think the second the statute of limitations is up so again, I made him lay down on the bed or on the hospital bed naked completely naked. And then on the counter three me and my girl just fucking booked it out of that house. Ran out and left. He was chasing after us naked in the front yard. funniest shit ever.
Unknown Speaker 58:52
Yeah, that's fucking wild.
Unknown Speaker 58:55
Yeah, no some weird shit.
Unknown Speaker 58:56
It wouldn't like a cocaine enema almost kill you. I mean, like, Is there too much?
Unknown Speaker 59:01
No, they're amazing. Whatever, well, I didn't have a full and um, I didn't have the bag and all that shit. Like this guy was fucking going all out. But when you saw him snort cocaine for so long, you start to lose you know fuckin bone marrow in your nose. So I was we were fucking a party and all the time in Vegas and I don't know how we figured it out. But we would get like a baby syringe but now with the needle in it you know just the syringe part that you fill up with like the liquid or whatever. And you would put your line of cocaine in it fill it up with water and then put it up your butt. And it was like the best fucking high ever
Unknown Speaker 59:41
is done tell you is that the fastest way to get it like in your body? Or does it like why? What makes it so popular? Is it like the high more intense?
Unknown Speaker 59:52
Um, so it's a different high so like when you snort cocaine you get the drip and the fuckin you know down your throat and just that nasty taste and Overall, it's more of like a jittery, antsy high. Whereas when you put it up your butt, it was like a calm, relaxing, fun. Hi. Now people at home please don't do this.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:12
We're setting so
Unknown Speaker 1:00:13
there's the silver lining again, you know, so it's like just because I'm painting this in a cool picture. It's so fucking wrong to do you don't want to do this. But yeah, if I if I ever had to do cocaine again, I would probably be that way. I love
Unknown Speaker 1:00:26
it. We're sending some total mixed signals. We're like sobriety is great. Okay
Unknown Speaker 1:00:34
well, that was my before life. I'm completely sober. Now. If I did a line of cocaine now, you'd have to admit me into a mental hospital. There's no fucking way I would be rocking back and forth in a straitjacket. My body couldn't handle it. My mental health couldn't handle it.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:49
So what about a when your craziest or wild quickie stories from just a relationships? Not when you're working?
Unknown Speaker 1:00:57
Um, hi used to like having sex and graveyards? That was my thing. I used to go. In fact, if I can get banged out on somebody's grave, it is lovely. It didn't creep you out. It would now now and my second sobriety, okay, okay, that but back then I would be shipping as much let's go fuckin a cemetery. Oh, we would go and just fucking cemeteries and that's that was my shit for a while.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:26
I know. It's like when you get sober you gain a lot, but you also like, don't have as many wild stories and so even on the podcast, I'm like, telling my stories and talking about things. And it's like, oh, life now. And I'm like, life now is I mean, like, sex is great with my partner. But it's like, you know, if someone was to ask me, like, where's the craziest place? You guys had sex? I'm like, in sobriety? I mean,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:51
no need to say, No, I get it. It sucks. I used to. Whenever I was early in my addiction with like, Xanax and stuff. I used to, like, get off not sexually, but just like it used to make me so happy to hear about the crazy wild shit I did before. And then you know, 10 years down the road. You're like, Okay, this is not fucking cute anymore. You know, like this. It's fuckin like, I can't act like this. Um, you know, I'm never gonna fucking be seen as a normal human if I keep fucking doing weird shit. So you know, there's always a catch. 22 we're laughing about it now because we can we're at that place on our sobriety where we can look back and be like, God, what a fucking nightmare. I was, but it was hilarious. It just fucking not for me now, you know?
Unknown Speaker 1:02:32
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I think I like talking about it, at least on the podcast, because one of my favorite quotes is shame dies when stories are told and safe places. And there's a lot of Yeah, it's like, there's so many people out there, that they feel bad about something until they hear someone else tell a similar story or relate to it. And then it's like, they go okay, like, I'm not the only fucking crazy one or I'm not the only one.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:58
And I hate when people have to live in shame like that. I don't like that at all. Yeah. And
Unknown Speaker 1:03:03
so you know, that's why I said, it's like, yeah, sex podcast talks about buttholes. But like, we also talk about real shit, because we've all been through real shit. And if you have it, you're going to because life, it gets us all in a good way and bad.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:16
Yeah, for sure. So I love when all these young girls are coming up, and they're like, my life is so great. Am I gonna give it 10? More? Yeah. Life sucks all of us in some way or another. Our Saturn returns always.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:28
It does. So okay, so have you ever been asked to do something too weird or too freaky? I know, you just told the cocaine in the butt story. But anything that was like, No, thank you.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:40
Ah, sexually, like with my partners. No, I'm always all for if I can stick it in all holes. I don't care. Like clients, you know, you always have rules with clients, because it's business. So it's like, you know, you don't give them what you would give somebody who's in your personal life.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:58
Yeah, yeah. And how I mean, obviously, you guys been married for a long time. Jay was the first one that told you that you you know, tell your story on the podcast? But was there ever a time in your relationship? Maybe pre marriage where it bothered him your background and your different professions?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:15
Never. And that's one reason why I married my husband and loved him because I was so shamed by my ex for what I actually buy all my exes for what I did for a living because I've always been very open. Even when I was doing it. My parents knew what I was doing. You know, I'm as a 14 year old fucking runaway. Like, I think I've done pretty damn good for myself, you know, so I've always been proud of that. And I've always embraced it. But all my exes, of course, were insecure men, and they would you know, oh, you're a whore. You're a prostitute. You'll never have find somebody who loved me like you. You know, I love narcissist. I love a good narcissist.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:49
One no one's gonna love you like I can or like I do, right?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:52
Yeah, yeah, you're like, wait, like, yeah, that well. Ah, but When I got with Jay, Jay just pretty much told me he was like, Babe, I love you. He's like, You got to do what you got to do right now, for us to survive for you to make money. Because I've always been very adamant of I love you. I don't care how much money you have, I'm always gonna make my own money, I'm Yes, yeah, we're gonna not make money. And there was times where Jay was like, you don't have to work. And I was like, as I do, until I can find something else to channel, you know, several avenues of money. And this is what I'm gonna have to do. And that was, you know, in our first two years of marriage, and he was just like, you're not going to do it forever. So you know, just so I can go little rock star, and he just always supported me and never judged me never throw it in my face just always loved me no matter what.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:46
That is definitely my favorite part about finding someone that you truly see yourself with long term. It's someone just like you said, who doesn't judge you based on what you've been through? For me, my partner, you know, I had reputation of being wild and crazy. I didn't get the fucking rebel girl nickname because I was an angel. And he knew going into the relationship that I was only four months sober, which is like, you know, it to take on something like that. It's like, oh, okay, like, she could relapse. She's only been sober for four months. But, you know, we're like two and a half years into my sobriety. And he's one of the biggest reasons I've been sober. And in addition, it's like, I've got, you know, injured, I lost fights, I, you know, going through like a depression, just like, when you put it on paper, you're like, why are you with this girl, but at the end of the day, he's never made me feel bad about it. He's always supported me and been my biggest fucking fan, and told me, you know, like, I want to quit this podcast so many times, because as Oh, yeah. And I know that we booked guests, we write the show, we promote it, we do everything. And then people want it for free. They want it consistently. And then, you know, if you fuck up, it's like, you're scrutinized. And so I was just like, Fuck this, and so many times did he say, don't give up? This is gonna be something you're talented. And I'm like, How the fuck did I get so lucky to find someone
Unknown Speaker 1:07:06
who supports us your person? Yeah. And that's your person. That's what I
Unknown Speaker 1:07:10
wish for everyone. I don't care if it's, you know, gay, straight, you know, black, white, whatever, I just want everyone to find someone who allows you to be yourself and support you through the good and the bad. You know,
Unknown Speaker 1:07:23
everybody has somebody out there, even if it's just been wrong timing, or they'll it'll happen at least one time in your life, you're gonna find that love that is just all consuming, and strips you down, but builds you up, Joey and I have been through some shit, you know, shit, that would tear fucking people apart. And we still fuckin just stuck it in there and just, you know, love each other. And there, somebody is out there for you. So if anybody's at home listening to this podcast, or like, Oh, I'm never gonna find it. First of all, change your attitude. Secondly, you know, because words are so powerful. If whatever you speak into the universe, the universe grabs and runs with it. So you have to start speaking positivity in your life, you know, and secondly, there is somebody out there for you. It's just maybe you need to work on yourself a little bit more before that person can come in. Or maybe you guys will run into each other fuckin unexpectedly and work on be forced to work on each other together, you know, so, there's definitely somebody for everybody out there.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:24
Yeah, I love that. And it's no coincidence that when I got sober, and I was just like, nose to the grindstone, like training all the time, like, because that was like, the only way I could figure out how to stay sober is like, I'm just gonna work out so fucking hard. I'm too tired to drive to the bar, you know? And yeah, boom, my boyfriend came along, and you know, it's just because it's so corny and cliche, right? It's like, if you do good or like, what did they say? It's like, some about the law of attraction right? It's like yeah, work on yourself do good. And then like, you'll attract something good. It's like oh, it's so fucking corny, but that's exactly all happen. You know, it's real self care and you know, focusing on myself and not really like looking for a partner just doing me and then you know, it happens and so yeah, I'm a big you have to follow God I'm sorry. Well, I just say I'm a big mushy hopeless romantic. And, you know, everyone's probably like, whatever not there's not someone for everybody. But I do think that there is you know, and sometimes there's a lot of people for someone you know, if you want to polyamory, you know, like there's so much on this podcast and I'm sure you are too. It's like, you know, I'm 34 and you know, I've been around the block but then it's like a new guest will come on I'm like, oh shit, I didn't know that was a thing.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:41
Yeah, no, all these fucking pronouns and shit like that. I'm still trying to learn all of them. I'm so like old school in that that fashion, but I respect it. You know, our daughter is just came out and she is, you know, chosen the path to be lesbian and we want 100% support Her fully support her so she's teaching me about all of the pronouns and stuff like that. So I get it right. Mom a tutor? Yeah, exactly.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:10
You have like a she was it Gen Z?
Unknown Speaker 1:10:14
Um, you know, I don't know if I told you yesterday I'm so bad was the fucking labels like I rebuke them in the name of the universe? I can't stand labels but I think she I don't think she's Gen Z I think she is. She's 2008 So she would be the generation after
Unknown Speaker 1:10:33
okay, but she's like the younger like she knows what's hip? What's cool, you know? Like what we can say? Well, we can't say I'm Oh yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:10:41
no, yeah, she's 13 and you would be surprised with these kids and talking Junior High talk about now man. It's really like real life euphoria. Like it's crazy.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:49
Not surprised and that's why I don't want to many reasons I don't want to procreate ever too scary.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:55
She's She's my bonus baby. I will never shit a kid out myself. There's no fucking way in the world. Do I ever want to work my trauma on another
Unknown Speaker 1:11:04
kid? Yeah, I you know, even if I had the best fucking intentions, just the way that I was raised. And the love that I had and didn't have. I'm like, you sometimes you can't help a fuck up a kid. You know, because of what you've been through. So I'm just gonna, you know, cut my losses and just keep it all.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:21
Girl I'm on that same train, which I totally understand.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:25
Well, it's time for the lightning sex round it's a rapid fire. Yes or no segment. Are you ready?
Unknown Speaker 1:11:39
I'm ready. Okay, I'm not good with rapid fires. So bear with me.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:43
Oh, if you feel so inclined to tell us a story then. You know. We'll listen. Alright, lightning sex round with bunny Here we go. Do you dirty talk in bed?
Unknown Speaker 1:11:52
Oh, absolutely. I get myself off by talking more.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:56
Oh, damn. Yeah, actually, as I get older, I'm more turned on by the way that my man like talks to me. And tree. Yeah. As opposed to what he does with his hands and mouth. You know? Absolutely. Spank or like to be spanked. Both biting.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:13
Ah, it depends on how hard because I will slap somebody if they bite me too hard.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:17
Yeah, don't draw blood motherfucker. Yeah, exactly.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:19
Choking. Love it. Love a good choke. threesomes. Oh, absolutely.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:26
Do you watch porn?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:29
Yeah, and I make it. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:32
Any fetishes like a foot fetish or bodily fluid?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:37
I don't know if I really necessarily have any fetishes. My husband has a foot fetish, though.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:41
Oh, isn't that the best? I mean, it's like,
Unknown Speaker 1:12:45
you won't admit it. But he does. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 1:12:46
he won't admit it. Last episode we were just talking about it's the number one fetish but everyone is so embarrassed about it. I'm like, Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:12:54
I don't I don't understand why its feet. Whatever.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:57
I will never yuck someone's yum. And there's a lot of people out there that think feet are awesome. Yeah, no, for sure. Any. Okay, so what about bondage like ropes, blindfold handcuffs.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:09
I am into all that role playing. Yeah, of course. Love that.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:13
But stuff on you or a partner.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:16
Okay, so this is hilarious because Jay and I I love his butthole he's got the cutest little Vegas butthole I've ever seen in my life. And I will lick that little candy VM anytime he lets me Does he shave? Yeah, but he's all he's well. He doesn't he does. And he doesn't because he's not hairy at all. So let's again. Yeah, so he hates anal. Like, I've tried. I've tried to do anal with him before and he just so fucking mad about it. And like, I'll make tic TOCs with him. I'll make a baby want to fuck my asinine hub like you. Like, it is so funny. But like if you would let me I call it Tommy time. I'm like, Can you Can I have Tommy time tonight? And he'll be like, Bitch Get the fuck away from me. Like, stop with the buttholes man.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:08
That's hilarious. Okay, do you use sex toys? Oh, yeah, for sure. Ever been to a sex club? Oh, absolutely. Are you enlightened to go? Oh, no,
Unknown Speaker 1:14:19
I used to go. So my girls and I used to have like a crew. I always surrounded myself with you know, chicks. And we would hate going to the regular bars because you know, guys would hit on us and they just wouldn't take no for an answer. So growing up in Vegas, there's swingers clubs everywhere and there was one called the Red Rooster. We would go to the Red Rooster every fucking weekend and just watch people getting banged left and right dance to the live bands eat the buffet. And that was our fucking local bar that we went to all the time. So I've literally grown up in swingers clubs.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:48
Wow. And obviously you're a woman so it's like it's okay for you just go and watch but with the men they have to have a female partner usually right?
Unknown Speaker 1:14:56
Absolutely. And what's cool is men have respect to your now. So if they come up to you and they're like, Hey, do you want to join me in my wife? No, they're like, Okay, cool. Have a great night and it's just like, everybody's it's one love. I love swingers. They're like the coolest fucking people ever do they're just so respectful.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:13
What if you get an uncool person in the swingers club or party? Like, is there like security like, oh, yeah, they get kicked out. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. So it's it's like, a safer place to go. And, you know, and there's entertainment.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:28
Absolutely. And watch people get railed I watched a girl get railed by like 11 dudes. I didn't even know that wieners could be stuck in your hole. And they were it was
Unknown Speaker 1:15:40
body hair.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:42
Not a fan. I don't like fucking Tom Selleck. Harry. That's disgusting. Like, I can't I can't do it. Nobody wants to floss their teeth with chest
Unknown Speaker 1:15:51
hair. I'm like if you expect me to shave you gotta shave too.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:55
Yeah, for sure. No taco
Unknown Speaker 1:15:57
meat. Okay ever been caught having sex or caught masturbating?
Unknown Speaker 1:16:03
I can really think about caught having sex yes because I'm I'm a voyeur. I love having sex outside. So yeah, I've been caught a few times.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:13
craziest place outside your head sex.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:17
Besides graveyards everywhere I've fucked in probably every bar that you can think of. But in Vegas bar bathrooms used to be me and my ex was thing so we would get shit faced at the bar and then go in the bathroom and just fuck I mean, just anywhere like on top of cars fuckin it just didn't matter.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:33
Just the rush of getting caught maybe turns you on? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:16:37
that and I just like being outside there's nothing more sexy than getting bang on top of a vehicle while it's like summer rain and Vegas. Nighttime. It's like the hottest thing ever.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:49
Awesome. Okay, that was it. So congratulations lightning sex round.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:53
I made it through let's
Unknown Speaker 1:16:55
let's end with two games we got one game fuck marry kill and then some fan questions marry one kill one go. I think we're done. You're done. You're ready. Yep, I'm ready. Okay, these three guys are famous big boys cuz he like the big boys. So we got Kevin James actor, Gabriel, fluffy Yglesias comedian and actor and then Chris Farley. Rip actor.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:25
I'm fucking marry and Chris Farley. I love my childhood crush. I'm gonna fuck. What's the other guy's name? Gabriel Iglesias. Fluffy. No, no J other one. Kevin James. And then sorry, Gabriel. You're getting
Unknown Speaker 1:17:39
killed. Okay, got it. Yeah, if you don't marry Chris Farley. I don't know it's wrong with you.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:43
Dude, Chris Farley and John Candy. Were my second crushes Andrew Carey. When I was growing up, people find that hard to believe. And Boy George.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:51
They find that hard to believe. But then look who you end up marrying. So yeah, I know. It's crazy, right?
Unknown Speaker 1:17:56
But then the thing is, is like I have no in between. I have no chill. It's either a bigger guy or guys that wear makeup. I don't like regular dude. So like, boy, George, like, loved him growing up like literally, that was my boyfriend. And then now when you look at like all the emo goth boys that I think are hot. They're all fucking full of faceful of fucking makeup. And like, I could never just date like a regular dude.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:20
Yeah, yeah. I like to keep it interesting too. So. Okay, I see. Yeah, spicy. So let's do some fan questions I had a couple fan questions and then you tagged me and your fans are amazing. So I think a lot of your fans so at the poetry bandit, as her favorite poet winky face. I'd like to know when does she read poetry? And has she ever tried writing for herself?
Unknown Speaker 1:18:50
Um, poetry. Hmm. So when I was younger, I used to write poetry. My thing was I used to write like I used to do like what Weird Al Yankovic did and would like make songs into funny things? Like parodies and shit. Yeah, like, that's always been my thing. But I'm such a like, I don't like showing emotion. Too much. So to me poetry is kind of like baring your soul. Yeah. So I did do it when I was a kid, but I felt like I don't want to say stupid that's not the right word. I felt like I was just revealing too much of myself. That's Aquarius problems. We are very, we have a wall up you know, so it's like we are always one resting bitchface you know,
Unknown Speaker 1:19:32
which is so funny because it's like, you know, physically with your body, you know, you're like, whatever, but like the emotion and the deeper side, you know, like the inner workings of you. You didn't want to share? Well,
Unknown Speaker 1:19:45
there's a quote actually that I love and it's showing emotion next, showing emotion to anybody is like bleeding next to a shark. So I've literally always grown up feeling that way because It's like people feed off of emotion. You know? So if you show any sort of weakness, what do people do? They zero in on it. So if there's no emotion for them to zero in on what can they do? They can't attack you. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:13
Wow. All right at Savannah Harvey. What's buddy's favorite thing about jelly? I'm obsessed with them.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:21
Um, his soul. He really is just such a fucking good human. Like he's a good friend. He's a good father. He's a good fuckin husband. He's a good business partner. Like, my husband. does not talk shit about anybody. He loves everybody. Oh, dude, and he brings a smile to every person's face that he ever J jelly jelly walks into a room and fucking everybody smiles. Because they just know that his energy and his presence alone is just so uplifting. That's awesome. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:00
At Ruby underscore Claire 88 is bunny your real name?
Unknown Speaker 1:21:05
No, my real name is Alyssa. I don't know why everybody asks me this. I tell them this all the time, but it's Alyssa and my ex's mom, her name was kitty. And this was like fucking 12 years ago and she was like she's always call me or my little bunny or my bunny to my kitty. And so it just yeah, it
Unknown Speaker 1:21:26
literally just stuck at Lauren dot name. Cece, how did you grow your booty?
Unknown Speaker 1:21:34
Fat transfer? Well, so listen, I'm I'm Brazilian. So I've always had hips and I've always had a butt. But it started looking like a pancake about seven years ago. No, I I went to my doctor doc Vegas and Vegas, Dr. Khorsandi, and he did LIFO on my stomach and then injected just a little bit at the top so it was more rounded out. So I didn't get like a whole BBL I just had fat transfer. And
Unknown Speaker 1:22:01
I love it. I love that you're so open and honest. You know, I mean, a lot of women are like, that's natural. I just do lots of squats.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:08
Dude, no, I cannot. I will never lie about anything because I never want to be responsible for making somebody feel bad about themselves. You know? Like some girl commented on my picture today. My mom is blowing me up right now. I'm so sorry. So somebody commented on my picture today. She was like, I'm so jealous. i Your body's so perfect. It makes me just want to go and throw up and I was like, Girl this this is a fucking this. This picture is so fucking edited. Like, my body doesn't even look like this is exactly what I told her.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:39
Yeah, I mean, and that's the like I said before, it's like the pros and cons of social media. Like we're all so connected. And, you know, you can talk to some of your favorite people like in be in contact, but it's like the comparison that we constantly do with everyone else. And it's like, you know, their bodies, their lifestyles, the material objects they have it's like, so unhealthy. I heard this quote, It was a comparison is the thief of joy. And I was like, Ah,
Unknown Speaker 1:23:04
yes, it is so much. Yeah, no, it really is.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:08
Okay, she she 1988 Best Business slash hustle advice.
Unknown Speaker 1:23:15
Exactly what I told you consistency. If you started something fucking finish it, you know, like, even when it's like you were saying how you I thought it was really sweet. How you said you were thinking about quitting the podcast and how many fucking times I have looked at my husband and my manager and been like, I don't want to do this anymore. Because I feel like everybody else started after me and they're blowing up more and it was like, I just felt like the podcast wasn't getting getting the no notoriety it deserved. Until last year, finally the podcast just fucking took off. And that was literally I started my podcast in 20 Oh, God, I can't remember it was 2018 or 2019. And I'm talking like consistently dropping for the past three to four years, you know, so it took a lot of fucking work. It wasn't until last year that I actually started monetizing off my second podcast everything I did before that was fucking free. I did everything for free did it all myself and you know you know how it is and that's what I said is in the beginning is you know these podcasts are for us they're they're like therapy for us. Oh
Unknown Speaker 1:24:17
my god. Yes. You
Unknown Speaker 1:24:19
know we're not fucking doing this because we're making fucking a bunch of money off of it we're not making any money off of these so yeah, just consistency just work your fucking ass off be the hardest worker in the room.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:33
Yeah, I mean that's with anything with you know, my career in you know, MMA and in your relationships like consistency is a love language also, I think and
Unknown Speaker 1:24:44
absolutely self care for sure. Part of self care.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:47
Next one is x Tina W Diddy. Okay a fuck. Marry kill. We got some hot ladies. Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts and Kim Kardashian.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:58
I'm gonna fuck cam marry Angelina, and I'll kill Julia Roberts because I heard she's a bitch. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 1:25:04
that makes me sad. No. Okay, two more questions at Kayla Closs 88 craziest thing you've ever done sexually, or more most disturbing thing you've ever done sexually. That cocaine enema was pretty disturbing.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:22
I mean, I think I've pretty much said everything. podcast today already.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:27
And then last question as Dylan underscore Taylor 95 Do you sleep with? Oh, were you talking about that as well?
Unknown Speaker 1:25:34
Yeah, I mean, and that's fine. Everybody asked me that every Sunday cuz I do an Ask, ask. Tell confess. And, you know, I'm not out here fucking just shoving Dixon. It's really fucking literally. I'm picky, dude. I'm not just gonna fuck anybody, you know? And it's not like you can just swipe on. I mean, I guess I could, but I would feel so weird doing that, you know? Like, I don't know. So no, I'm not out and you're just fucking second dick. Like it's a sport.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:04
Buddy. That's the last fan question. My question to you is, who would you like to hear next on sex and violence rebel girl couldn't be doesn't have to be an athlete could be a personality or an adult entertainer. Anyone?
Unknown Speaker 1:26:18
Ah, look, maybe we could get my husband on there. Yeah, I'd love that. Yeah, maybe we can get Jay on. I'll talk to him about it and see what he says is he she goes on everybody else's fucking podcast anyways, does. Yeah. I'm always talking shit to him because the first podcast he ever went on was mine. And then now he's literally like, done the whole entire podcast fucking circus. And I'm just like, you are a podcast
Unknown Speaker 1:26:43
whore. But he's got no. It's like, yeah, you know, you hear a podcast with someone you didn't know before. And it's like you. I mean, this is why I love podcasting. It's like, what other medium allows you to get to know someone so in depth, it's like, you know, he's a rapper. So I guess you could listen to his music, right? But then it's like, yeah, there's another side. You get to dig deep. And I just love podcasting. And thank you so much for coming on the show. I can't wait to be on your show as well. I
Unknown Speaker 1:27:12
can't wait. I'll actually be in Malibu for like two weeks. So maybe we can work it out in March. So I'll, we'll definitely talk about it off.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:21
Malibu is actually where I'm doing my first phantom shoot photoshoot.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:26
Yay, I love I go there to just escape
Unknown Speaker 1:27:29
the world. So where can we find you on all your social medias? I know you have a Patreon and then where can we find your podcast as well.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:36
You can just go to dumb blonde podcast.com and everything that you could ever want to ask is there I have the links to my spicy sites. I have the links to my Instagram I have the links to my Patreon all at Dumbo on podcast.com or just Google bunny so you'll probably see some news and you know you'll find my any sort of social media there
Unknown Speaker 1:27:57
too. I love it we'll keep killing it girl you're extremely inspiring and I love your mentality about you know sex work and just owning who you are. So thank you so much for being you.
Unknown Speaker 1:28:08
Absolutely thank you for having me on girl I can't wait to see what else you do this year. I'm really excited for you.
Unknown Speaker 1:28:13
Thanks girl. Talk to you soon. Alright buddy in a coffee shop Alright guys, that's it for bunny du Ford, aka bunny X. Oh, aka, my favorite dumb blonde. I think she owns it. But she's not dumb. She's really smart. Very well spoken and inspiring. I loved everything she had to say about owning her sexuality and feeling empowered. And you know, that's just someone who doesn't like to fit into a box and she said it herself she doesn't like titles and you know we may be a little bit older and we're trying to not offend people with you know the wrong pronouns and this and that, but bunny is a rebel. I love it. And she was a great guest. So next week, guys we have recently retired mixed martial artists Carlos the natural born killer Condit, I'm super fucking excited. He's just been one of my favorite fighters to watch for a very long time. He's recently retired and I just thought Fuck it. Let's ask him to do the podcast. And he said yes. And he was very cool about it actually had to, you know, re ask him I'm like, you know, it's a sex podcast, right? And he's like, yeah, so seems like a really cool guy. I know him and my friend Dan Kenny, have talked actually the Carlos is a big metal dude big into metal music. So that's interesting. And everybody's connected some way right? So I think he's gonna be a really good guest. He's the you formerly competed in the UFC Of course, and he was the former interim UFC Welterweight Champion. So let's talk to Him about everything that he's done since retirement and what happens in the bedroom, too. So tune in for that next week, guys, we don't have enough dudes on. So this is me attempting to get more guys on. And don't forget, check out the website sex violence with rebel girl.com We're getting some new merch designs up there very soon. So stay tuned. And a special thank you to our audio engineer DJ Zol at DJ Zol to American studio at tomorrow, kids official and a big special thank you to you guys for all of your fan questions and for tuning in weekly. It means the world please check us out on social media at sex and violence with rebel girl and myself at Ashley mme actually, so I forgot to tell you that. Some other fuckers stole my Facebook, and I got it back today. So I'm excited. Yeah. Oh, that reminds me. Since people are shitty sometimes we do have a backup account. Yeah, it's at sex and violence with rebel girl, the number two at the end. Because like I said, people can be shitty and they steal your shit. So please swallow that one. Yeah, that's it guys. I hope you enjoyed our show this week. I hope you have a great weekend. Check out the fights. Go to loot boom, calm. And remember. Be kind, be grateful. But don't take shit from anyone. Talk to you guys next week with a new guest and more tales of sex.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai