Ep.97 Kendall Reusing
Sex and violence with rebel girl is presented by UFC fight pass. See the best that UFC fight pass has to offer on the fight past 24/7 stream, offering a constant channel of historic fight action all day all night. Tune in sit back and enjoy a network created by fans for fans. Step into our world. UFC fight pass.com violence Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl presented by UFC fight pass the show that interviews top level MMA fighters and other experts in their fields about love, dating, romance, and that all too taboo subject sex. I'm your host, Ashley, rebel girl Evans-Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence what's happening hot stuff what is up? Oh my naughty listeners that I am super excited for this week's guests. Some big big things are happening. Good and bad. So buckle up for this episode. First of all, tomorrow is the podcast two year birthday. That's what all my barbero
Unknown Speaker 1:34
we have been at this for two years the homies old DJ Zol has been with me since day one. I don't know if you guys know this. DJ Zol sponsored the podcast for the first year. That means my friend just said I believe in you. Let's do this. Let's get this thing off the ground. It was during the pandemic plugin. I can't say thank you enough to DJ Zol. And now we're making moves. If you guys didn't hear last week, this is only the second week that will be officially on the UFC fight pass platform. Again, barber pero. Things are going good guys. I'm so grateful for all you guys. And I say it all the time. At the end of every episode, I say I love you. Because I really do. This has been growing pains. You know, it's the first time I've ever put my own money into something been an entrepreneur and just had to blindly have faith in something other than my body, which sounds kind of crazy. But as a professional fighter and, you know, college wrestler, and all that I had never put all my time and energy and money into anything else besides fighting and using my body. So, to have this podcast be you know, we almost have 100 episodes, we're newly signed to the world's largest combat sports streaming service. Like that's huge. And I feel like it's just a baby step of what we are capable of. Big shout out to our editor in Amsterdam, steams Nick quarry at Air media. He also has a podcast check his podcast out it's in the booth. He does interviews with fighters grapplers, just like I do, but it's more on the actual combat sports side as opposed to sex love and but stuff. So that's I got to share that good news with you guys. We talked about it last week. But just so you know, the fan questions, we didn't take that out that will now be exclusively a part of the fight pass library. So all you got to do is head over to fight pass and listen to this episode. So you can hear the full fan questions and get your fan questions read on the fight pass platform, which I think is pretty cool. And then other than that, what else did I want to tell you guys about before we start getting into the heavy shit. I mean, that's really it with the podcast. It's really it's really big for us. And I hope you guys follow us to fight pass or if you choose to only hear the free content on Spotify, Apple everywhere else that we normally are, that will never leave guys. That's not going anywhere. I appreciate you guys so much. And if you don't want to pay, you know, I don't even know what bypasses like 999 a month for the extra stuff. No big deal. But we would really love your support. You know, it's been a it's been a long road and it's hard guys, it's hard when you don't know what you're doing. I'm sure you guys have all done something where you sucked at it at first. If I had to equate it to mixed martial arts, it would be like getting your ass beat up when you're an amateur by these pros over and over and over. And then finally, you know you get over on one of your teammates or you get your first win. And I feel like this this is what the UFC fight pass platform is it's our first win. We're still amies we're still growing we're still building I say me as in my team and me specifically you know i I've got a lot of room to grow. I'm Not fully on the video right now. It's still just audio we've been going back and forth because, you know, growing pains, but we will get there. So stay tuned, guys, things are only getting better. Okay, so here's the part of the podcast where I always tell you what's going on with me. The good news is that I have an exciting weekend plan. Tomorrow, not only will there be UFC fights, but there will also be up next fighting and it's a new local MMA promotion that I will be a part of, I'll be the official backstage interviewer and I'll be talking to all the fighters post fight, right. So they go, they fight, they win, they come talk to me, I guess I'm like the mega levy of this organization. And I'm excited. It's their first show. So it's a great opportunity for me to grow with a show that is giving the MMA community and the local community more opportunities. If you want to check that out. It is May 21 at the Burbank Marriott up next fighting.com. To get some tickets, I think there's a few reserved seats left. And if you want to follow on social media, it's at up next fighting. So that's the good news. And before actually, if you want to catch me and my friend Xizang, we will be signing at the Comic Con in Ontario that morning, it's actually going to be Saturday, May 21, from 10am to noon at the Comic Con, Ontario convention center. So if you want to come say hi, get a picture, get something signed, check me out in the morning. Or if you want to see me at the fights come up, head over to Burbank, Marriott and check out up next fighting. So if you guys didn't hear the bad news is I am now suspended for 14 months. And if you're listening to this, and you already heard that probably means that you read the headlines, Ashlee Evans-Smith, suspended for 14 months for taking steroids or some version of that, which I think leads you to believe that I am over here, sticking needles of testosterone in my booty just getting jacked. And I promise you guys, that's not the case. It's it's nowhere near the case. And, you know, I think that anything I say right now, there's two types of people. There's one kind of person who's going to listen to hear the full story. And then there's another person who is going to basically be like, just bitches make an excuse, no matter what she says, I don't give a fuck. And you know, that's not who this is for. This is for those of you who actually want to dive deeper into the full situation, you know, and who want to hear a little bit of truth behind the headlines. So I'm going to explain to you in my words what happened. And I'm also going to add in a link to Mike Dawson. I think his name is like Dolce or Dolce Dolce Michel che. He is a nutritionist, and I don't know his official title, but he's been he's a name in the MMA community. The other day, the news got released on Monday, the other day, I think it was like Tuesday, after let's just say a real shitty Monday of harassment from social media. I got a direct message from Mike Dolce. And it was a video breakdown of my situation, guys, I swear to God, this guy does a better job of explaining my situation than I do. So along with what I'm about to say, I'll be adding in his explanation in the show notes. There's a link, it's on YouTube. It's very easy to watch. He lays it all out very scientifically. And I'm like, Yeah, I wish this was the story that was printed. But it's not. So basically, what happened, guys, and I want to start this with, for the record, I am taking full responsibility for my actions. This is not an excuse. This is just to let you guys know, the full picture. So you know this, the details surrounding my situation are basically that I was rehabbing my spine surgery. So you guys all know back in what is shit? God has been over a year and a half. No, I you know, maybe in closer to two years, I've been dealing with a spine injury. I got an artificial disc inserted in my neck. December God was it 2021 or 2020. But then it was 2020 Yeah, December 14 2020. Fast forward 910 months, I've been trying everything I can to heal because after that surgery, I still had pain in my left trap, my left left arm all this kind of crap, right. So what this suspension has to do with me healing. I have tried everything under the sun meaning acupuncture massage, I got that surgery, I had something called for set injections where they go into your spine and inject into your spine. I got us stem cells. None of that worked. So I went to Mexico and paid with my own money. A lot of money. I'm for Mexico for stem cells in Mexico, and I experienced some relief. And now I'm at that point right now, before I went to Mexico, I also invested my own money into paying a doctor to get all my hormones, nutrients, all my levels checked, because my mentality was, if I am performing and my body's running optimally, then I'm going to heal better. That means I'm going to heal faster. I'm going to get back in the cage sooner because that's the big deal guys. That's, you know, you hear hear me, podcasting. You hear me doing interviews at local fire promotions, but what do I want to be doing? I want to fucking fight. I want to get in there, and I want to fulfill the rest of my career. And I want to live my dream I want to do what makes me happy. All this stuff is great. I love talking to you guys. I love podcasting. I love doing all these other little things. But my real love is competition. My real love is being in the cage, performing entertaining and competing. So I got the my levels checked this doctor that I trusted.
Unknown Speaker 11:04
And, you know, sidenote, this is not me putting blame on the doctor. This is just what happened. The doctor that took all my levels, blood, hair, saliva, came back with a packet of supplements to give me he said all of these supplements will bring you to homeostasis basically, get me running optimally. And, you know, I wasn't trying to cheat guys, I literally was just trying to heal from my spine surgery. Now, my first mistake was taking those supplements and just trusting my doctor blindly and not checking each label going to global dro.com and inserting that into the website because that's a resource that all athletes have available to us. I knew that I've known that most athletes know that because USADA does a great job of shoving it down our throats every week with emails. I'll be the first one to say I should have fucking read those emails more often. So anyway, long story short, I get these supplements, I start taking them for a few weeks, I think, you know, at the one month, Mark husana comes to test me regularly, like they always do. And when they came, I told him what I was taking, I declared this supplement called D h e a, it was part of, you know, 10 or 11 supplements that I had taken. And this one supplement I should have is my bad guys. I take full responsibility. I should have looked it up. I should have not just trusted my doctor I should have taken and done my due diligence on my own is ultimately my responsibility. But what happened was I didn't I didn't do that, you know, and I regret that now. So they came and they asked me what I was taking. I declared it I told them that's how it works. You tell them what supplements you're taking, right. So I base essentially tattled on myself because I had no idea that what I was taking was illegal. If I did, I wouldn't have taken it, obviously. So they come back again like a week or two weeks later, and they retest me they're like I think, you know, they're kind of like Did she really tattle on herself? Yes, I tattled on myself a second time why because I was not trying to cheat. I was taking something supplement as part of a package and this supplement DHEA that is over the counter. You guys can all go pick it up at Amazon Rite Aid, whatever it is. This supplement was in that pack. Now. I let you sorta know I let the UFC know they flagged me back in January. So this is fresh for you guys, but I've been dealing with it back and forth for months now months and I apologize if I seem Cavalier it's it's not because I don't care. It's not it's not because I'm taking this lightly. I'm really heartbroken. I really really am. But what the fuck else can we do? You know shit happens and we press on. And I hope that this can be a cautionary tale for other athletes. Or you know anyone who is going to be a part of the registered athlete testing pool now, I didn't mention that I talked to my doctor ahead of time letting him know that I am a UFC fighter part of the registered athlete testing pool this doctor also told me yes, I understand that I am a former Olympic doctor. I've worked with this this this and I just said okay, you know, I've it's been a long two years of doctor's appointments for me spine surgery all this bullshit I've been dealing with I got into the habit I got complacent with just doing what my doctor said. I didn't you don't question your doctors usually right.
Unknown Speaker 14:35
But question question everybody questioned your doctors. Double check. Better safe than sorry. And you know I am sorry No. And so I am going to apologize to you guys who look up to me and who looked to me for inspiration or an entertainment and and all that you know, because this is not where I want to be. I would like to be a few months from competing not you No. Nine months from from eating being eligible. So I don't want to rant on too long. I mean, I guess that's really all I wanted to say, this is not me. Like I said, this is not me, saying it's the doctors fault. I'm not saying that it's my fault. It's not me saying that I'm against the SATA suspension, you know, I think that it's important to let other athletes know that they need to be diligent. And so, you know, this good, you know, I'm suspended. And I just really wanted to be transparent with you guys, the listeners, because you're the ones who have really been there and tuned in and made life easier these last few years. So all I can say is I promise to not let this slow me down, the goal stays the same. He loves, I'm still working on that. I still have a little bit of pain, but I'm the silver lining is that I've got lots of time to heal and to get back in shape and prepare for an amazing comeback. And let's fucking face it if there wasn't a sense of urgency before because I'm on a to fight losing streak, because I'm fucking gonna be 35 in July and yatta yatta. There's even more sense of urgency. But I can tell you guys one thing that I've learned about myself over the years, I thrive under pressure. And I know that this is shit right now. But I'm not going to let it let it knock me off course. I'm not going to slip, I'm still going to fucking be sober. Let us be, you know, some kind of inspiration to all of you out there on your sober journey. Bad shit will happen. Don't use it as an excuse to slip up, feel sorry for yourself. Keep your sobriety with whatever you're dealing with. And learn from it. And I will guys, so thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening to my little spiel about the situation. It fucking sucks, but I'm gonna make the best of it. We're gonna keep cranking out these podcasts for you guys. And, you know, that's all I really wanted to say about that. I guess now, we should talk to our amazing guest of the day.
Unknown Speaker 17:05
I'm so excited guys. Okay, and I say guys, not the girls. Sorry, ladies. This one's not for you. This one is for all my listeners with some whiskers. You know, like mutton chops, a goatee? Mustache? A full mint. No, no one has blue mint shoes anymore. But about like a side beard or a neck beard. We're just a good old fashion. You know, face beard. This is for you guys. We are now in partnership with the best facial hair oil in the business. And they're called Rebel apothecary. How fitting is that? It's perfect, right? We didn't even plan that these guys are the best. They're the best beard oil in the game. And they I know this because not because I have a beard. But I know many hairy men jujitsu guys MMA fighters, and I've given this product to them. And they said it's great. It keeps your face maintained and it smells good too. Guys, please check them out. They are a family owned and operated business. And you can use our discount code rebel to get 25% off your entire order. Find them on Instagram at rebel dot apothecary or online at rebel apothecary.com. Check them out rebel apothecary beard oil. When choosing a supplement company, most would think it's an easy choice. But it's not. It's a matter of pride. You have your goal set to become who you are meant to be a decision, a moment in life when you decide to be more, to be great to use everything you can to be more than who you were. I choose perfect sports as my supplement company because perfect sports has been dedicated to providing top pros and athletes with the absolute highest quality nutritional supplements for over 18 years. Since 2003. Perfect sports has been the choice for the most dedicated and discerning MMA and physique transforming athletes who demand the very best. Perfect sports is known for their product, diesel, New Zealand whey protein isolate. It's a pure grass fed pasture raised protein that comes exclusively from the isolated island nation of New Zealand, virtually free of lactose with a 90% protein yield. Even people who feel that they might be sensitive to dairy, love this protein. I'm really most excited because you guys know me about their newest product, the diesel vegan that will be ready in about a month so stay tuned. But they aren't just a protein company. They've got products for bulking and leaning out products for strength and recovery, pre workout or health and wellness to keep your immune up during these unprecedented times by online at www dot perfect sports.com and use code rebel girl for 20% discount, connect with them on social media for all their latest product releases and giveaways that's at Perfect sports TM, again, connect with them on social media for all the latest products and giveaways at perfect sports. TM, choose perfect sports. Be great. Today's guest is an American grappler and Brazilian jujitsu competitor, a former freestyle wrestler. She's a five time Brazilian jujitsu world champion in colored belt and the 2019 nogi jiu jitsu Black Belt World Champion 24 year old daughter of accomplished Brazilian jujitsu competitor, Tom Rosing. In her youth she trained Judo jujitsu and freestyle wrestling. As a teenager she won the California State Wrestling Championships as a as well as for US International Wrestling Championships before joining Team USA. During her first year as a black belt, she won gold at the World NoGi championships among other accomplishments. In October 2021, she won the inaugural Polaris women's Openweight championship the following month she won the ACC East Coast trials in the 60 kilograms plus division, qualifying for the 2022 ADCC World Championships. Today we talk about being an eye contact lover, newly single and ready to explore herself caught having sex by mom on Facebook kicked out of dance for making outs a makeout session divine feminine energy cons of dating in the industry wanting to be loved and love sex jitsu not up in here and much more. Here's your guest Kendall ruzi.
Unknown Speaker 22:14
Alright guys, we're here I'm so excited. We're here with jujitsu competitor freestyle wrestler all around badass Kendall reusing Kendall I'm used to saying like a fight name right here but like do you have or do jujitsu? People have fight names?
Unknown Speaker 22:31
People do a lot of them do I don't I will. Actually that's I have like a couple of people use but none that have like really been picked up. So cavalry seems good people call me k a lot. So that works.
Unknown Speaker 22:41
Okay. I feel like we're gonna be friends. Maybe at the end of this. I'll call you okay. But, Kendall, thank you so much for coming on. Sex and violence with rebel girl. We always start the show with talking about what kind of violence you have going on. You are an amazing jujitsu competitor. I had seen you. I've been stalking you for a while. But now that you agreed to be on the show, I did my deep dive and I'm like, Whoa, this girl is awesome. You come from a wrestling background like I do. I was on Team USA. Guys. I'm like a decade older than Kendall. But you know, if we went back in time, we might actually be friends. She got into you know, Jujitsu. Actually, let me ask you, you know, without kind of giving the whole life story. Did you do wrestling in high school and then get into jiu jitsu because I do know your father is a black belt as well. And he's the guy who, you know, coached you and all that.
Unknown Speaker 23:32
Yeah, so the quick version is I started to get to a five. I also started judo at seven and I kept doing both until I was 12. That when I was 13, I switched to wrestling in high school wrestling since I was 1819. With Team USA, and college, and then when I was 19, I came back to jujitsu. And I've been solely doing jiu jitsu ever since. And I'm 24 now,
Unknown Speaker 23:53
yeah, you have accomplished so much in your young life. And, you know, they say sometimes when athletes male or female start really early, you get burnout, right? But you seem to be loving it. You're not only competing yourself, but you're teaching seminars, and you're very active on your social media, like showing technique of the day. Like I love that you don't seem to be burnout at all. How How are things going? You seem to be competing often as well?
Unknown Speaker 24:21
Yeah, I would say that the number one reason I didn't burn out is because my parents, like when I was a kid, just let me do what I wanted. So that's always my advice. Advice to people is just like, let your kids change their mind or do different sports, things like that. So that's a big part of it. But also, like even now as an adult, like I do, the parts that I like, like I don't teach a lot of private lessons because for me, it's really mentally draining I, you know, do do a lot of seminars because I get fed by traveling like traveling feeds me feeds my soul. So just gravitating towards the things that make me happy that I love doing and that happens to be you know, a big part of that is competing, so competing as much as I can.
Unknown Speaker 24:57
I love that you you seem to have I have a really good grasp on balance right? Because if you burn out or you do too much competition or you know for like someone like me like I was living this double life like partying so much, you know, like, you don't seem like a party girl but you do seem like someone who understands the Yang gang situation to being a pro athlete, you can't just train 24/7 You're going to overtraining burnout. So what do you do to kind of decompress when you're not killing it on the mat?
Unknown Speaker 25:28
Yeah, so I'm definitely not a big party girl. And, and the, the major reason why I like to party, like, if I do go like I go. If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. But I just don't do often because I'm just super focused in my in my day to day so it takes time away from the other stuff that I'm doing. But you know, I go to the beach, I go shopping, I live like a pretty tame life outside of jujitsu. But the major thing is, like, I have a big, like a spiritual practice and also like a growth practice within myself. So I'm able to kind of dedicate myself to things and decompress, and things that have nothing to do with jujitsu and see a bigger path, like a bigger future. And jujitsu is a vehicle of like love and resilience and passion inside that big life. But I can kind of zoom out and see like life as it is bigger than that. So I think that helps me from getting burnt out.
Unknown Speaker 26:18
That's amazing. I mean, even that the way that you worded that is pretty evolved for someone in her early 20s. Who has been seems like you've just been in the gym your whole life, like how did you get to that point of kind of clarity and understanding?
Unknown Speaker 26:33
Well, a lot of trial and error. For sure. Yeah, I have great parents, too, that taught me a lot of this language growing up. But I'm just a really big advocate for consistently looking for growth and for also like taking care of yourself and your mental health. So I go to therapy weekly, I have people that I see for my body weekly, that are very, like holistic practitioners to talk about this stuff. I read a lot of books, I listen to a lot of podcasts that have to do with growth and stuff. And I've always been just exposed to a lot of great stuff. And then I think I was just able to pick up things that worked for me along the way. But it's really just the people you surround yourself with, like you become the sum of the five people that you're with the most. So surrounding myself with people that have big expanded mindsets, and big visions, and a lot of groundedness within them, and they're searching for that has helped me to have more of those things too little by little. So I'm definitely still going through a lot of learning processes and trial and error with that as we always will be. But I'm learning as I go.
Unknown Speaker 27:32
I love that so much. And you've mentioned taking care of your body. Your body is your moneymaker. You know that's yeah, that's, you know, me too. And you know, you just competed in March. Congratulations. That is when you retain the Polaris 19 Openweight. Title, except for I just read I didn't watch it. So I'm just reading that your opponent, Amanda Levy, how do you say your name? Levy forfeited due to an injury? So was there no actual match?
Unknown Speaker 27:59
So we had a match. And, you know, up into I think it was at the six or seven minute point like I had taken her down and I was passing she was trying to see me I was trying to pass. And then I came into her guard. And there was like this weird moment where I think I forgot to talk to her recently about it. I think it was her shin or maybe it was the ankle but something broke like, yeah, it was really bad. So she had to play she had to pull out of the match. So I have the title, because she had the injury forfeit.
Unknown Speaker 28:27
Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah. Okay. When I read that, I was like, do Did, did the injury happen? Prior in the Okay, so what happened in the match? And that's, you know, you never want to win the match that way, but that's not your fault. You know, you got the W but you did what you did? Yeah. Some people get the other end of it. You know, it's part of the game. It's awesome. Yeah. Okay, well, now, what does the future hold? I know that ADCC is coming up. I'm actually totally not a jujitsu person. My boyfriend has a black belt. And so now I'm like, oh, ADCC I know what that is. The big one. So will you be competing? How are you feeling? What are you looking forward to that?
Unknown Speaker 29:06
Yeah, so the best way to describe ADCC for people who are not familiar with jujitsu is for us when we call it as like our Olympics because it happens every two years. There's trials to get in. It's really prestigious like that. And then the World Championships are the most prestigious events that you can win in jujitsu. So this is like the number one right now. And it's in September, and I've been trying to get into ACC Well, I watched ACC for the first time when I was like seven or eight. That the warm beach pyramid. It goes all over the world. Like it changes location every time. But I was like walking around with my GI as a little kid getting it like signed by like famous jujitsu people.
Unknown Speaker 29:44
I know you've come through six or one ad.
Unknown Speaker 29:47
I know right? And then so now, the last six years I took second at the trials in 2017. I took at 2019. I separated two ribs off of my sternum a couple of days before and couldn't compete, watched a bunch of good also IP before, like in the tournament, it was so rough, I thought I might get invited and I didn't, then this year, so six years later, I win the East Coast trials. But for women, we have to win the West Coast trials to qualify. That's another story for another time. But we have to go into ESCOs trials, I win my first match, and my back just gets destroyed in the match. It was already like a previous injury that I thought I could just like with withstand until that trials, and then take a break. But I couldn't had to pull out of trials, heartbroken. And then two or three weeks later, I get the call that I'm invited to ADCC. So it was it's been a long, six years to try to do this tournament. Oh, man, that
Unknown Speaker 30:41
makes me smile, like my heart just like sunk a little bit. But like because of happiness, because you and I talked off camera, but like God, damn, every time you think things are going good, something bad happens. And then everything, you know, then when things are bad, you think to yourself, like, oh, everything sucks. And then something comes out of nowhere and you're like shit, maybe everything is for a reason. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 31:02
I like the bigger purpose thing we were talking about a minute ago. It's kind of learning to it's so cliche, but the more I experience it, the more true I find it to be for myself, is really like going with the flow of things. Instead of like fighting life like this, like life bringing something it's like, how can I ride that wave and really be present and be with what's going on in my life right now, instead of like resisting it so hard. That's really easy to say when things are good. And it's hard to do. When things are extremely painful, like they have been for me lately, especially are like with ADCC trials and things like that. But it was just like, Okay, I need to trust that what's going on right now is for my highest good and for the highest good of all, and just believe that to be true and act as if, and then I got the invitation. So September, that's the number one thing we're looking at. I do have my back injury, I'm still healing from that. And that's been really frustrating. But again, it's just like, why is this happening for me? How can I view this as like, you know, it's in the highest good of for me and the highest good of all? And what what can I gain from this and switching it to that mindset as the only thing that you can really do if you want to be successful. So that's what we're doing.
Unknown Speaker 32:12
I'm gonna take all that you just said and harness that energy. For my future situation. I love that so much. And, you know, guys, this woman has been successful, you know, in pretty much everything she's laid her hands on, whether it's grappling or you know, or jujitsu. And so, take that as gold. Take that mindset, I'm gonna take it, you know, it's all about how you look at your current situation, and how you can benefit from it, even if it sucks, but alright, so we will see you in ADCC in September. That's amazing. Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Speaker 32:44
Yep. And there may be something in between on them. But I'm just not going to put the pressure on my background. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 32:50
Yeah, I was just gonna say that. I'm like, I think you know, you have your priorities right. You know, if you're feeling super awesome. I would still say before ADCC since it sounds like it's been something that you've been dreaming about. Since you were a wee little girl. That's amazing. Okay, so let's move into some more. I could talk to you about wrestling and jiu jitsu all day. But let's get to why everybody's here. We obviously knew compete, you know, we get to see you with the gold and on the map. But there's a softer side. And I want to get to know, what is your current dating status as well as how do you identify sexually?
Unknown Speaker 33:25
So I identify as sre. I've always been someone who's like kind of curious, but I've never exercised that. So I've always been straight, always dated men. And I'm single right now I'm newly single. And this is the first time that I'm committed to being like, single as an adult woman I've had like serial boyfriends over the years. Like, oh, long term relationships, pretty much. And now I'm like, okay, it is time for me to be with me. And I'm stoked about it. So
Unknown Speaker 33:54
wow, I remember this time very clearly, because it happened to me, probably four months before I met my current partner who I'm, you know, ecstatic about and we've been together for over two years now. But I had a short time, just like what you're experiencing right now where it's like, Alright, I'm just going to focus on me. Put my love. Sorry, I love dogs. Put my love life on hold for now, because I've got bigger things to worry about. Or maybe this is a time where you're like, Hey, I'm gonna go I'm gonna date but more of like a casual thing. Just try not to get into an actual relationship. Is that how you're feeling right now? Not like no love, but just, you know, not trying to get tied down?
Unknown Speaker 34:37
Yeah, I would say for me right now, I'm actually really committed to 00 dating, like, Yeah, I know. And so like, I've only I haven't had that many relationships. But I've had a couple like, I'm really young. I'm 24 and I've had like, let's see for relationships pretty much like ever like that were like serious relationships. And they were pretty much all back to back And I am entering this time of myself where I'm like, Okay, I'm seeing patterns, repeating relationships, I'm seeing stuff come up in myself over and over, I'm seeing, like, I'm compensating for certain things in my life with a partner, I'm leaning on a partner for certain things like that I really want to explore myself. And I also, Mike, one of my core values is freedom. And I'm sure that at some point, I will be with someone where that can coexist. But right now, like my level of freedom, I want to be extremely focused, I want to be all about me, I want to be super selfish with my lifestyle. And I think that right now, in this moment, dating is a big distraction, like, so I'm actually like, very committed to like, no, no hookups, no dating, no, nothing like for a long time. I don't I mean, I don't know that all it just says it goes out there. But right now, I'm like, Nope, sorry, not interested, like don't have dating apps don't nothing. Zero.
Unknown Speaker 35:59
I love that for you, because of everything you just said. And also what you mentioned earlier, it's like you love traveling. Unless you got a significant other who is, you know, I don't know, their love language is talking on the phone, you know, it's real hard to work out. It's just try that dude, I
Unknown Speaker 36:15
try the long distance thing. It's tough. It's tough like, because even when you really love somebody like you can't, it's just not the same as like as being able to connect with them on a daily basis. Like, especially with traveling and stuff. And then people try different things. Like they try open relationships, they try monogamy, they try opening other people like, and for me, like all of that is totally fine. Whatever makes you feel good is great. Whatever makes you happy is great. But I found that like you cannot really know a person the same way that you think you do, if you're not together all the time. And not only that, like you don't know yourself in the relationship as much as you think you do if you're not together all the time. So for me, it was like, all those things are great. But right now is for me, unless
Unknown Speaker 36:55
amazing and your perspective is spot on. I think the pandemic was, like make or break for a lot of relationships, right. And for me, I had to move and I had to sorry, but we got, we got to move in together, four months after dating because of you know, where I was gonna fuck an end. But I'm so grateful because it was the same situation you just said, you don't really know yourself, and you don't really know how strong your love is until you've tested it. Like, can I was down this person for, you know, days on end?
Unknown Speaker 37:29
Yeah, absolutely. Or am I really seeing all of them? Or are they really seeing all of me? Or, you know, putting on a performance? Like those kinds of things? Or
Unknown Speaker 37:36
oh, yeah, yeah. And they're, you know, I'm sure you, you're, you're, you're young, but you've already experienced long term relationships. And there's that point where the honeymoon phase is over, right? And you stop, you know, fixing your makeup every time you go into the living room to see him, you know, like just little things, you know, and maybe, you know, you don't shave your legs every night, or whatever it is,
Unknown Speaker 37:59
or they like have a persona like or you I don't want to like put blame and this is, you know, like just across the board human beings. They have a performance and a persona that they put on. And then it starts to like, fall. And then you're Whoa, okay, this is reality. So I think like, I'm pretty, I try to do my best, like if I'm just presenting like myself as myself, but some of it is natural. And I'm just, you know, right now, I'm like, I don't want to worry about any of that shit. I don't need anybody. Like, I'm happy. I love love. I'm a big lover girl, like I love being in love. I love relationships. So I'm not like anti man anti relationship, right now. I'm like, Oh, I don't need any of that, like I, I had to do and work on and focus on by myself.
Unknown Speaker 38:43
Yeah, it is so hard, because I want to like make a correlation. I'm like, You've accomplished so much. But I'm like, it sounds like you did it with some dead weight, you know?
Unknown Speaker 38:54
Well, it's not to say, you know, it's not like I've had some great partners too. It's not like, I'm not like, oh, I have all these exes. And they're all horrible. Not at all. Like, I'm still friends with one of them like, I am, you know, really grateful for every partner that I've had. And a lot of people have a lot of like romantic interests have helped me grow in certain ways. And it helped me see a lot about myself and but I do think that for me, leaning into friendship, leaning into Team leaning into support outside of romantic relationships, is going to free me up in a way that I still get all this like support and good, yummy, delicious, like stuff from people that I love so much. Without the weight of having a relationship and the weight doesn't have to be bad or good weight can be a good thing. But for me right now, it's like I need to be free of that. And I want to lean into like still having good relationships, but not in a romantic way. And I think the freedom is going to allow me to really, really thrive so I'm stoked about
Unknown Speaker 39:50
it. I love that and I don't want to bring up you know, bad stuff. But in the past, you know, you have had multiple partners long or long term relationships, right? How's your profession? How's your career choice, you know, your passion of grappling and competing ever gotten in the way of your romantic relationships?
Unknown Speaker 40:10
So what's funny is in my adult relationships, no, but I did have a boyfriend in high school was like middle school to high school. And when we got to high school, I wanted to join the wrestling team. And he literally was like, that's for boys. You shouldn't do that. And then I was like, hey, oh, no. We broke up. And then I it's so funny, because at the end of the year, he apologized to me who's so sweet. He was like, Look, I'm so sorry. Like, I had won CIF and like, done all these cool or like the regionals and everything's, he was like, Look, I'm so sorry. I said at the beginning here, I was clearly so wrong. So that's so funny to think, like 14 Nice. But now, like, as an adult, I have never had it interfere with my relationships, because and this is another topic. All of my people like my foreign boyfriends I've had have all been related to the wrestling or Jiu Jitsu, so they understand the lifestyle and we do it together, which breeds its own issues. But as far as you know, like having problems with me and my lifestyle, no,
Unknown Speaker 41:07
that's something we talk about every single episode, the pros and cons of dating in the industry. And so, you know, you made it clear that you have historically dated in the industry, what are some issues that you've faced, because it's so great sharing that passion? Especially, you know, you always got drilling partner, but then, you know, there are other things that pop up as well. So my question two part question is, you know, what things have popped up that have been uncomfortable or annoying for you dating someone in the industry? And the second part is, from here on out now that you're, you know, I know right now, but like in the future, are you opposed to dating in the industry? Are you trying to get away from that? Or is it something that you enjoy?
Unknown Speaker 41:50
So okay, great questions. And this is something I wish I would have heard more of when I was a younger athlete. But so first part I had, I did have like one boyfriend who was really controlling, and really manipulative and jealous. And so if I would get an opportunity to compete or something, and he didn't, it was like, he was happy for me, as long as it was good for him too. So if I was doing something that was like, just cool for me, like, I don't want to make it too specific, because it'll be too obvious. But like, I would like get invited to go do something in a foreign country. And he was like, really unhappy that I was doing it without him, that kind of thing. So that is some Yeah, that's a whole thing for another time, classic narcissistic issues, and controlling manipulative, abusive issues. But I was very young. But moving on from that, like, even if you're in a healthy relationship, and you have a great partner, and I've had a couple of really healthy, great people in my life, those people you cannot separate them from, from your profession at that point, if they are doing that with you. And the reason I think that's important is because how many relationships like actually ended up like getting married, having kids or being together forever, not that many, right? Not a high percentage. So if you are going to date someone, whether they're in your school, whether they're from a different place, whether they're a coach of yours, that's like a huge thing that we see a lot. Like all those things, you are having to decide if you're going to be willing to risk your what your priorities are, right. And so when it comes down to that, love is amazing. I think that's why we're here on this earth is to love and be loved. So is it worth the risk sometimes, for sure, absolutely. And we see these great relationships come out of it. But most of the time, like what I would say now, having been through it a couple of times, it's not worth risking my career, because at the end of the day, I'm old, I'm the only one that's going to be stuck with me forever, you know, no matter what, I'm stuck with me. And so like, now, I would say like some of the negative things that I've had to deal with is like, I've lost a lot of friends in the in the process, because everyone is in a digital community. Yeah, and not even, I don't mean that in like a mean evil, dramatic way. It's just natural. You know, like when people break up, like people kind of like lean towards this person or this person, or maybe already closer with before. So there's that rumors get spread really, really fast within the jujitsu community. And like any community, everyone knows everyone's business all the time. And not only do they know their own business, but it gets changed like the game of telephone over and over, or they don't know the whole story. And then it's like, you have to do a lot of work on letting go of things for your own reputation. So I've lost a lot of friends. Um, I've like had people that I love lose friends who felt like they needed to stay close to me, and that made me really sad. There's places I can't go train anymore. There are people I can't talk to at tournaments that I see all the time. And other things social media, I've done both I've had public relationships and I've had private relationships on social media. And right now I'm so like, I think private for me at this point, unless you're like think you're gonna go and marry somebody. is the way to go. Because that's inviting so much. So much. Yeah. And Brittany?
Unknown Speaker 45:05
Yeah. I mean, you're really?
Unknown Speaker 45:07
Yep. Yeah, even with a private relationship, I already got a lot of that. So,
Unknown Speaker 45:12
for sure, you know, and that's something that I really had to think about with this podcast, right? Think about my myself specifically, right? Like, I'm already giving a lot of people access to me, because I can't help it right. Like in the public eye, there's social media, but then I'm like, do I want to take it one step further, and just fucking tell everyone about my personal life? And I'm like, You know what, people are going to talk shit and create some kind of narrative no matter what. So at least I can only speak the truth, you know, troll it? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 45:41
that thing too, is like I decide what I want to put out. And so like, I'm pretty vulnerable and personal on my social media. And I'll talk about what's going on, but I probably will, like leave names out or like specific things, because I don't want to invite that in. But at least I can control the narrative. So I would say it really depends on like, your priorities as far as your career and your personal life. And so now the second part of the question, I don't know if I ever see myself dating in the industry again, because the way I feel about it is like, I love sharing jujitsu with people. But I'm really focused on friendships and, and teammates now, like, I don't know, if I ever again will need a partner to, to be what I share that with and, and to be honest, man, I never would have said this for years and years and years, I would have always just been like, no, of course, I want. Also, like, I don't want to date someone I can beat up, you know,
Unknown Speaker 46:33
you're not the first and you won't be the last girl to say that on this podcast.
Unknown Speaker 46:37
We all feel that way. But for me, it's actually more about energy I find. And so I'm like, there are a lot of men out there in the world with big energy, big power, huge, like, masculine confidence, and groundedness that can teach me a lot about other things in the world that are passionate about a lot of other things in the world. And that will be excited to be like, a cheerleader, like, kind of like supporting me and my own thing, but not have to be super super involved all the time. And the reason that's important as I recently went through a breakup, and one of my best friends told me, she was like, or he was like, Kendall, I think it's probably time for you to date somebody in the future, who cannot affect your career. Like if they decided to, like talk about you, or like, tell people they are. And I was like,
Unknown Speaker 47:23
Damn, that was some honest friend truth right there. You're like, ouch. Well, you're right.
Unknown Speaker 47:29
Yeah. Because like how many times I've had three boyfriends in jujitsu, you know? And it's like, how many times are we gonna put this put my career at risk? Especially for women, dude, because guys, thanks for people forget things. They can sleep with a billion people, they can sleep with all their little fan girls and their DMS in their in their messages. They go to seminars, they sleep with everybody. Nobody cares. But the second somebody finds out, I did something with somebody or more than one person because I'm 24. I've had three boyfriends in jujitsu, like and they've all been in longest term. Now, all of a sudden, there's a story and there's a narrative about this girl with details come out, they change it, it gets weird. And so I'm like, yeah, it probably like my friend to tell me that was so right. He was like, Yeah, you need to date someone who can not affect your career at all. And I was like, that's a hard truth. And I'm not saying never, ever, ever, but as of right now, my opinion is I probably won't date in jujitsu.
Unknown Speaker 48:21
That's that's a lot of clarity, from personal experience. So I feel like that's the best move and what you said about dating someone who can teach you something about a different industry or a different genre. My, my partner has taught me so many things about, like, things that I really needed to know about, about marketing and business and helping me with my podcast and like, when a partner does that, because the first time for me, it's like, it's a new level of attraction where like, you know, they're teaching you something, and they don't make you feel stupid about it. And they're, you know, like, supportive and they're like, You can do this I'm like, but I don't want you know, like that it. I didn't even know that was a thing until my current relationship. And when you get older, you start kind of making a checklist right? You're like, I want them to do have this and this. Oh, want to take a quick break to thank our sponsor, perfect sports. These guys are always keeping things fresh and being creative with their flavor options. Their newest flavor of diesel whey protein isolate is no different. Inspired by the fall season, perfect has come out with a limited edition Pumpkin Spice Latte flavored protein. Pumpkin Spice Latte provides a spicy and savory aromatic tastes that can be enjoyed warmed or chilled. Remember guys, this is a limited edition so make sure to get your orders in soon, inventory will be going quick. As always, this new limited edition flavor provides you with the same benefits that diesel always does. It's third party tested for banned substances and is the highest quality that protein can be. Order yours now by heading To perfect sports.com and using my code, rebel girl for a 20% discount. Guys, this is a sex podcast. Let's get down to it. What man doesn't want improve direction strength, penis size or a better sex life in general, penis pumps are not just an Austin Powers gimmick, we're proud to announce our new partnership with Bathmate Bathmate are the world's best penis pump, harnessing the power of water for real, lasting improvements for your penis size, erection, strength, personal confidence and sex life. Bathmate hydro palms have helped over 1 million satisfied users worldwide. It's safe, affordable, and backed with a money back guarantee. So what are you waiting for? To check out the different products and for a 60 day money back guarantee and a massive two years manufacturer's warranty. Visit bathmate.us/rebel and start your journey today.
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Unknown Speaker 52:18
So funny because it leads into another one of your questions I know we were going to talk about like what I look for in a partner. Yeah, and this is so funny because I never made a list before. Until recently, I made a list like maybe like a week or two ago, for the first time ever,
Unknown Speaker 52:31
like a physical list, a physical list of physical.
Unknown Speaker 52:35
I know and people say to do this, like because I don't plan on dating anytime soon. But I want to have something on paper so that I never again settle for less than like what I want. Yeah. And I say that with a lot of love. It has nothing to do with past partners. It's not like oh, I settled in, they were bad and nothing like that at all. It's more of like, I don't see myself dating that much in the future, like I maybe will end up with somebody and that's great. Um, but I'm not going to like date around and like, do a bunch of different like little boyfriends and relationships and stuff. So when I do date, I want to be very specific about like, this is what I want. Because I really liked myself and I love my wife. And so if somebody's gonna come into my life, like, yeah, let me things and I bring a lot to the table. So to elevate things like it's gonna have to be, you know, pretty specific. So the reason I say this, because I wrote this list I never realized before. And one of the biggest. One of the biggest things on the list is just what you said, like somebody who can teach me and lead me in a relationship because I'm very masculine, and my professional arms, so masculine, and like a leader and a mentor, and all these things in a coach. I don't want to be any man's coach, or like, mentor or like
Unknown Speaker 53:48
role model or taking the lead in life or Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 53:52
And it's not that it's not that I that, like when you get with somebody, of course, there's that, you know, you're teaching each other different things, you're exposing each other different things. That's a beautiful thing, when you bring two human beings together, that's going to happen and it should be it shouldn't be one sided. But I think like I've always kind of overpowered relationships and been in the driver's seat. And not because I already like want to, but that's some stuff that I'm like deconditioning with myself. And so I want to be with somebody who's leading the relationship, who has a lot to teach me who has a bigger world experience than I do, which is a lot because I have a lot of world experience. But B has you know, bigger network and just knows different things like that's so sexy teammates so attractive. I love when men in the past have showed me jujitsu I love when they can like be with me in that way. But that's definitely what I'm looking for moving forward. That's one of the things on the list. very grounded, very healthy, very confident, like truly confident and like we all have shed to work through. But someone who's actively working through that, whether that's with a therapist, that's a spiritual practice, whether it's reading and listening to podcasts and putting those things into action like I'm doing All of those things, and I don't see myself ever being with somebody who is not doing those things like not just having ambition in their profession, because that's sexy, that's great. But also having like a really strong work ethic and a really big ambition with growing and expanding and grounding themselves, which are two different things expanding and grounding, but both of them equally important, in my opinion, in a partner, so those are a couple major things
Unknown Speaker 55:24
that last one girl real hard to find, you know, men, sorry, dudes, but yeah, they just they, they take longer to really start working on themselves internally. And, you know, I don't know if you're into older dudes, and maybe that's a question I should I ask her, you know, younger guys. I mean, I think for younger guys, but, you know, now it's not about age. To me, it's about just exactly what you said, you know, like, are you on a path to better yourself in life on these exterior levels with financially, you know, status wise, wherever the fuck you will, right? But then internally, like, you know, I give you this little example, me and my partner, we're going to fight, right? We love each other, we live in the same place, we do the same shit, we enjoy the same hobbies. We're gonna fight. What, what makes me confident about staying with my partner, regardless of our fights, is do I see an active change? Is he recognizing the things that are triggering me or triggering him? How can we not do that? Are we communicating about it afterwards? Or are we just fucking whatever starting the house, and then we don't talk about it like, no, like, this partner that I have, is the first time I've ever really been with someone who's like, Hey, that was an ugly fight. What can we do to get better? I'm like, I got a lady boner. You know, like, I got a lady boner.
Unknown Speaker 56:45
Like, yeah, man, that's like one of my favorite things. And and, you know, I've actually been really, really lucky to have that in in a couple of different partners. And so I'm able to see like, what's healthy, and that kind of thing has been really beautiful for me. And then on top of that, though, like, that, I think, is really attractive. But then also, like, what are you doing without me that has nothing to do with me? You know, like, what, because I think like, one of the things that attracts me to men, and also one of the things that attracts men, to me sometimes is seeing, like, wow, she's striving for this. She's trying for that she's doing better. She's connected with herself. She's in like her, you know, divine feminine energy and all these things. Like she's confident in that, that attracts me to another man. So now you like get two people together. And those two people stop doing those things because they caught the person. And now it's like this, all this stuff make that made you sexy, it's not there. Now, on the other hand, this is the funniest thing I know, you'll understand this so well. Because that whole phrase of like, don't get like don't get with a bad bitch if you're not going to be able to handle. If a girl is like striving and like doing all these things on her own, and getting a lot of attention, not just from man, but like from women and like, being free and wild. And as a man, like I need someone that can hold space for me being like wild and free and expressive, and like a little tornado all the time, and feels like good to be that container. You know. And so I think sometimes men get with women like that, and then they're like, Oh, let me try to like, squeeze you super tight, because I want you all to myself. And then that gets like it's like, sometimes slow, but it comes out and it gets really nasty.
Unknown Speaker 58:25
Wow, you're Yeah, you're spot on. Sometimes. We don't let the person that we're with reach their, their potential because we're afraid to lose them or or, you know, like, whatever it is, right? And that's not right. And I, I feel lucky, because I do have a partner, you know, I gotta focus on sex podcast, you know, and he's like, you know, just don't get too crazy. And I'm like, Kevin, any promises, you know? But you know, like, that's who I found, just like you said, it's like, yeah, I do feel like a tornado, sometimes emotionally. Career wise, you know, and my partner is kind of always there to withstand the storm and appreciate the storm to you know, and not just be like, you need to change your wild, just accept who I am and be supportive. And not
Unknown Speaker 59:11
everyone. And like, it's fair to say, too, that not everybody wants a relationship like this. Like, I don't want anyone to hear this and be like, Oh, well, that's not fair to expect that, dude, I don't expect that from just anybody. I expect this from somebody that wants that in me, that's ease that and it's like, Wow, I love that about her. I love that she's wild and sexy and like a little tornado and I want to hold space for that. Because when she's expressed and free, that makes me happy, like to hold space for that. So that's an important distinction to like, everyone has masculine and feminine energy within them, right? And we all have both, but I'm extremely, extremely in my feminine and so I need to have someone has a balance, who's extremely in their masculine, it's not right or wrong. It's just what works for me. And I think the first step in like, having this work out for you is figuring out like what you want actually like to embody like what feels good, you know for yourself and so that can take some trial and error.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:06
Let's get a little superficial. You said your and your I could tell you're such a down to earth girl you know so I don't want to like you know, just tell me what kind of guys you like but I can be both okay so you're you know I call myself a big girl all the time I'm only five eight, you know, but like I walk around like 160 Like I consider myself a big girl you are also part of the big girl club and so everyone assumed Yeah. Yeah, you're looking good girl. You know, I get this all the time. They're like, Oh, you I bet you need to date a big buff dude. Aesthetically, physically, does the guy gotta be bigger than you? Do you have? You know, does it gotta be rigged? You know jujitsu guys, or they have a different body then bodybuilders, right? So what is your physical preference? Yeah, so
Unknown Speaker 1:00:53
my physical preference is definitely so I'm five, nine. And I'm like, 180 Sometimes I walk around closer to 170. But right now I'm like, 180. So either way, though, I'm like big and strong and tall. I like to use someone taller and bigger than me. So I but what's funny is like, you look back at my relationships, and that hasn't always been the case. So it's not like the number one driving force. But yeah, I do like someone to be like, taller than me and bigger than me. But I think like to that comes with energy. Like, I know, I know, we're really superficial. But sometimes someone's energy can really like be you know, anyway. So but anyway, so like, bigger and taller and stronger. But they don't have to be like Jack like, I mean, they don't have to be like, rip. Like I like you gotta be super muscular. But I also think that that's because I admire that lifestyle. Like, yeah, so I'm big and strong. I'm like, Damn, you take care of up against up lifting. But they don't need to be like ripped, like, super, you know, like, six pack out all the time. Yeah. But like, big and strong and take care of themselves. 100%
Unknown Speaker 1:01:53
I love that. I love that for you. So getting a little more risky. What are some turn ons? You know, obviously, we talked about you said vibe, which could be swag, right? And like, how you carry yourself but what are some other things that are really big turn on so of yours.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:10
Man when it when someone when a guy can like control the room for guys, like a leader in the room. And like, everyone's kind of like looking into him like for things like Oh, that is so sexy. But also, like you said, like the little bit of swag. Like, you gotta be able to be a little bit ballsy and like, be a little bit cocky. But without being an asshole, you know, like without being ridiculous. So that's a big one. Eye contact. Ooh, if you hold eye contact with me for like, extended periods of time. Like, another thing too, is if you're in a group of people, and like there's someone makes a joke or like something happens, like if you look at me first. Like if we're connecting first in a group situation. That is like, Oh, that is the best.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:47
I never thought of that. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:50
Round Table. Yeah, I'm like you're noticing me? Yeah, you're
Unknown Speaker 1:02:53
the first person that you think of after it's and yeah, tuned in you. Because going back
Unknown Speaker 1:02:59
to energy is so funny, like superficial stuff is all related back to energy for me. I feel like I'm taking care of I feel safe. I feel protected. Like I feel like you're paying attention to me more than anyone else. And that makes me feel really good. You know, I am it for you type of thing.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:13
Okay, little bit crazier questions. Now? How did you hear about sex? You know, did your parents give you the talk? Was it movie sometimes? It's just our friends chit chit chatting, you know, or you just learn on the go to things
Unknown Speaker 1:03:27
were pretty like closed off with me and my family in that department growing up I like had like some books like that talked about like, oh, like, like, you know, those little books you give kid
Unknown Speaker 1:03:35
or Yeah, going through puberty? You're like, yeah, that's helped a
Unknown Speaker 1:03:39
lot. And then my my parents talk to me about it like a little bit, but it was really vague, but it was mostly just like my own experience and then hearing from friends. Yeah, I didn't have like too much exposure to it from my family.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:51
Yeah. Okay. Do you have any kind of? Do you remember, like, your first time or any first, like sexual experiences that were, you know, probably not most romantic. But you know, maybe a funny experience that you had?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:04
Yeah, one of the worst experiences was in middle school. Oh my gosh, I got I got suspended and like kicked out of the eighth grade dance because I was making out with a boy in the bathroom.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:13
All right, starting early.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:16
It was so sad. I mean, yeah, how old are you at like 13 It's great. I was like 13 I was like, making another boy and I got suspended from school and I couldn't go to my end of the year was so sad and like I that was like my first boyfriend. My first anything any kind of experience like this. So that was pretty rough.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:36
So you know 13 Till now you've had your own experience with sex and competition. There's usually a myth that is you know, do not have sex before competition fighters. Sometimes we adhere to this, but most of the time we don't. What about jujitsu competitors? Do you guys abstain from sex?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:58
I don't know what other people Do man but I don't because I think that like like pleasure and dopamine and serotonin are good for the brain and the body you know if they're doing healthy, healthy and responsibly, like healthy and responsibly those things are good for my performance so I don't like stray away from dopamine and serotonin.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:17
I love that I always say do whatever makes you happy. You know if you think that's going to help do it you think it's going to hurt you don't do it because our mind is a powerful thing. So what is the weirdest or craziest place you've ever had sex?
Unknown Speaker 1:05:32
A dressing room
Unknown Speaker 1:05:37
really, okay. I feel like there's a theme here. You know, the bathroom is? Is that kind of like something that turns you on? Like the the chance of getting caught?
Unknown Speaker 1:05:48
Yeah, I definitely say you can see a pattern of
Unknown Speaker 1:05:50
Oh, I love that. Okay, yeah. What's that called? Kind of a little bit of an exhibitionist?
Unknown Speaker 1:05:54
I think so. Maybe it's called.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:58
Okay. Do you have like a favorite quickie story? These are always really fun because you know, they've been in bathrooms. They've been in cars. They've been all over right? Do you have one you could share with us?
Unknown Speaker 1:06:08
Yeah, super, super similar to what we were just talking about. Bathroom at a tournament
Unknown Speaker 1:06:15
saying you are brag. To your favorite thing
Unknown Speaker 1:06:18
is like that's really not even I don't even know that's not like a big common thing that comes to my mind when I think about like myself. They don't want to tell the stories. I'm like, Yeah, I guess this is the thing.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:30
Do you have a pet peeve in the bedroom? You know people have said different things before hygiene and engraving lover different things like that. Do you have like this one thing that you're like, oh, this just rubs me the wrong way.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:42
I can't stand bad hygiene. Dude, it oh my god, it drives you it's one of the most basic answers for a frequent reason. You know?
Unknown Speaker 1:06:49
Have you ever had a dude try with ringworm trying to hook up with you?
Unknown Speaker 1:06:53
Oh, okay. Aren't you from the wrestling world? Like I probably don't get as grossed out by like that kind of stuff. Oh, yeah. Me too. Because I'm so used to it. Yeah. But it's just like basic stuff, like are you like, like brushing your teeth and like taking care of your body, like, you know, those kinds of things. But I'm also I'm not like a super like, germaphobe or anything like that. It's more of just like, basic.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:16
Let's see. We just, we just had a germaphobe on the podcast. Shout out Emily wittmeyer She's so cool. She made such like funny jokes about being a germaphobe. And like sex, you know, but it's still possible.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:30
Yeah, and I would say yeah, I would say like, basic hygiene, and then also, just like not, like, I'm not into casual stuff, like I have to be like, very connected with someone to enjoy it. So if that connection is not there, like that's not even a pet peeve. It just won't happen. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:45
You know, I know that I look or give off the vibe of unapproachable, right? Whether it's the tattoos or the fact that people know I'm a fighter, and, you know, they think like, oh, mean or something? I'm sure you get that to your bigger girl like me, how would you recommend somebody approach you?
Unknown Speaker 1:08:06
Um, be my friend first. Like for real? Like, I mean, I don't know like going and like meeting guys in the bar. Right? So that's a little bit different. I guess. Like if you're doing that you have to be really forward. Um, but for me like I developed the best connections I've ever had with people who I've like had like long extended periods of like conversation and friendship first and then like things kind of develop from there. Because for me if like we go from a friendship to like flirty to then things escalate like I get the most because there's a buildup like there should be a bill that there should be a connection so just be my friend like and you know, be genuine like be who you are if you're a good friend and then it turns into like being flirty and there's like more of a connection you're holding eye contact I can kind of feel like physically we're kind of drawn to each other like magnets a little bit when there's like a bunch of people in the room that kind of thing. That's when I know something's going to be good there has to be build up or else is just superficial.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:53
Yeah, I can tell you're very like a very big energy girl and we've had people on the podcast men and women who this is a big thing and you know I just call it chemistry because I feel like right away you kind of know if you have that chemistry with someone and it can be a little spark or it can be fucking fireworks right away and yeah, I feel you on that last kind of like bed bedroom question. We are alpha females like I said, so I think most people expect us to be very dominant in bed right? But then it could also be a place where you let your guard down and you are the more submissive one so kind of how does how do things play out in the bedroom? Is that also where you like to be dominated? Or do you let your partner take over?
Unknown Speaker 1:09:33
Yeah, I would say it's similar to how I describe like being in the romantic relationship in general like I'm very masculine and dominant in my work life and in my professional life, which I'm actually trying to embody more like kind of slowing down relaxing but we'll see how that goes. But as far as it's a man I definitely am like that but I will say it's the same as my my like romantic part of my relationship with them same in the bedroom is like I'm very like feminine and very submissive but like when it when there is a more Are there is a time for like me to be dominant or take over like, I always know when that is so. So yeah, that's that's a good point too. It's kind of a switch thing.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:08
Awesome. Well it is time for the lightning sex round for those of you listening who don't know what that is it is a rapid fire yes or no segment created because not everyone can say, but asshole posse cut whatever it is. The naughty words make us uncomfortable sometimes. So, Kendall, are you ready to play lightning sex round with
Unknown Speaker 1:10:26
I am and I just want to say what's funny, like, this is my favorite stuff to talk about. And so while we're doing this podcast, because I always been like, a little bit like nervous about talking about this stuff online with like, you know, there's like, people message me all the time, like, Oh, my teenage daughter looks up to you, or oh, this and all that. And I just like want to put it out there that I think that like, this stuff is so taboo, but it's stuff that's human for everybody. Like, it's I think it's okay to talk about this stuff, like we can learn from each other. And I honestly wish I would have heard more women talk about this stuff growing up, cuz I probably would have stayed out of trouble that I didn't need to be in. And I probably would have only led towards stuff that I really liked. Instead of like thinking that just like I could do, like, I should just do anything that a man wanted. Like if I could hear women talking about what they actually want. And I think that would have helped. So I just want to preface I was saying like, this is my favorite time to talk about I don't talk about it too much online, but I'm glad to be on the podcast kind of opens the door a little bit for me. And obviously we get more juicy stuff off the podcast,
Unknown Speaker 1:11:21
girl. I love that so much. You know, that's the whole premise of the podcast. It's basically trying to normalize these conversations because shame dies when stories are told in safe places. I've said that over and over and over on the podcast and all my all my listeners are like yeah, shall we heard that we know that's your favorite quote. But it's true. You know, you hear something whether it's about sex or otherwise and you resonate with a story and why can't sex be the same? Why can't kink or crazy experiences be the same? So with that said, let's play lightning sex round all right, you ready?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:04
Yes, ma'am. Here we go. Yes
Unknown Speaker 1:12:05
or No answers. Do you do you talk in bed? Yes. spanker like to be spanked? Yes. Biting. Yes, choking? Yes, threesomes
Unknown Speaker 1:12:17
interested but never have. Do you watch porn? Actually, almost almost never.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:22
Okay, maybe that would tell me that story offline. Do you watch porn? No. Any fetishes like foot fetish?
Unknown Speaker 1:12:30
No Fee no fee. There's probably some other things in there but no fee for me. I'm not like anti foot I just not for
Unknown Speaker 1:12:39
any foot fetish or any fetish like bodily fluids. Hmm
Unknown Speaker 1:12:46
I don't even know if I call it a fetish. I think a lot of saliva happens and that's good for me. So
Unknown Speaker 1:12:50
all right. Bondage like ropes, blindfold handcuffs, anything like that? Yeah. Okay. But stuff on you or a partner? Yes. Do you sex toys? Yes. Ever been to a sex club or a swingers party? No, I haven't I know you're young girl. hearing people's stories you're you're young you have lots of time go. Lingerie lover? Yes. Body hair yes or no?
Unknown Speaker 1:13:20
Yeah, yeah. Within reason
Unknown Speaker 1:13:23
ever been caught having sex?
Unknown Speaker 1:13:26
Oh, wait going back? Is that wait the body hair thing for me or for other people for me now for other
Unknown Speaker 1:13:30
people. For your partner for a partner?
Unknown Speaker 1:13:32
Oh yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:33
I never even thought about that. I wonder if people think that I'm asking like do you have buddy here No, no preference preference on a partner.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:44
Oh, yeah, but yeah, but like within reason like, like manscape you know? Yeah, I don't like when men are like like, like little girls like oh, okay, that might be offensive. I'm sorry if that offends on me but I for me, I just like I like my mental like masculine family like I want you to be like more clean than I am like I've just
Unknown Speaker 1:14:02
been my guy shaved his leg sometimes because half Mexican and it gets like really hairy and then he'll like just shave it all right, and then it'll get like, ya know, just like let it go. But like there's a side of me that kind of like when it's like shaved not like like smooth like his legs can't be smoother than mine but like when it's like I don't I don't like a lot of leg hair on guys that's where
Unknown Speaker 1:14:24
I'm totally like I'm I'm good with like any other I don't like like smooth like you said but like I know like I've had like guys before but in the past that like they would like trim their armpits and then like it would just be kind of like there but not like super crazy. Like, that's cool, you know, but
Unknown Speaker 1:14:37
what about like a little more risque question? A hair down there pubes,
Unknown Speaker 1:14:43
like, like hair? Yeah, but like taken care of.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:46
Yeah, campaign seven day style. Yeah, no way. All right. And then last one ever been caught having sex multiple times. Do you want to share that story? Um,
Unknown Speaker 1:14:57
I will. Okay. I won't share the political times. But I will say that the way my mom found out that I was having sex is through Facebook Messenger. Oh, no. It was horrible. It was so horrible. We were looking at something on my computer for school, and Facebook was open and like another thing and other tab. I went to the bathroom and they were like messages popping up. And I came back and my mom was like, What is this? And it was like my boyfriend writing me. Like risque, horrible things. I was like, I don't know how old I was at the time. Maybe like, maybe like 17 or 16. I was like, older. Yeah, like, but we had never had that conversation before. Oh, my God, it was horrible. So yes, physically, it has happened multiple times, unfortunately. But that was how like, my mom found out and it was just mortifying. I've never been like more mortified in my life.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:53
It was horrible. Yeah, well, that was lightnings extra. We ended with an embarrassing story. Awesome. Thank you so much for doing that. Would you like to play a game of fuck Merica with us? Marry one kill one go. I think we're done. We're done. We're
Unknown Speaker 1:16:15
done. Let's do it. i Oh, gosh, this is nerve. This is probably the most nerve wracking part. Yeah, let's
Unknown Speaker 1:16:21
Okay. Well, you know, you're a trooper. I always like to tell people, you know, I'm not trying to rock the boat at home. If you have a partner, you're single as fuck so I'm giving you real people. It is jujitsu edition. Fuck, Marry, Kill. I'm gonna give you three names. You tell me who you want to fuck. Who you want to marry who you want to kill? Okay. Well, who you will?
Unknown Speaker 1:16:41
I will say I will say depending on the names, there may be a skin. But most likely, I'll just I'll just go for it. Okay, I'm ready. Because Oh, just everyone listening. She did not give me the names ahead of time. No, no, I gotta make it fresh and exciting. I know that we will personally so we may skip I think I think we'll go for it.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:59
I feel like yeah, you're gonna lose people. Okay, here we go. We got I believe he is Australian, Craig Jones. Then we have a second and I think you you say it like ice cream cone. Crone, Gracie. Okay, and then last but not least, the start of all studs Hinako la Raja so you
Unknown Speaker 1:17:22
got some so Mike. Do that's a good one. I think I probably married Craig. He seems like the most sane. Well, that's none of those people seems like maybe. Maybe Mary Craig. I think I would probably kill Crohn's icon. Oh, you gotta go. Yeah, I don't know. I think that's where I'm gonna go with.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:45
I have her Naco could speak for himself. I think he would say he is the best lover of all these
Unknown Speaker 1:17:51
probably should have said kill him.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:54
Yeah, he's gonna hear this and be like, Oh, okay, you want some of this?
Unknown Speaker 1:17:59
Oh, my god is this I know. I remember one time, like when I was I was I was like, only 19 or 20 I think he like followed me on Instagram. And I was like, I was I was like, a purple belt or something. And I was like, I feel so important.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:11
I'm like that don't funny story about him. He actually I'm one of those suckers who didn't understand the concept of Hinako so I thought he was a real person. And then I met him in real life like 2000 and guy like 16 or 17 and he just had his normal voice and I was fucking blown away like you know like I really thought that he knocked on the raja was a 27 time world champion blah blah. You know, obviously you know, I'm I'm like, a point dude. So crazy. His ability to not break character shout out her not to. Okay, so that was Fuck, Marry kill. You're awesome for playing that.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:50
Oh my gosh, I thought we were going to do multiple I was like, Oh my God. I'm have to like skip some people.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:56
No, I just want engine girl.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:00
That was painless. That was easy. So we're gonna answer
Unknown Speaker 1:19:03
some fan questions. But everyone has to head over to UFC fight pass. If you're not subscribed, guys is the world's biggest library. The best fights the best fight documentaries, head over UFC fight pass.com To hear your real fan questions answered by Kendall and let me just tell you, I kept it tame from a girl because I knew that you guys had some raunchy ask questions. So head over there. It's going to be worth it. My last question to you Kendall. Before we do the fan questions is Who would you like to hear next on sex and violence with rebel girl? If you boy girl jujitsu doesn't matter. If I
Unknown Speaker 1:19:40
could pick anybody. It would be Fionna Davies and she's a jujitsu girl. She's incredible. She's newly single as well. And there's Yeah, she's great.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:50
I will check her out for sure. I feel like I get the best recommendations from the guest. So we're gonna answer some fan questions but for everyone who doesn't head over to UFC fight pass.com Where can we follow your journey? Social media? Do you have a website Patreon I didn't ask you if you have only fans do you or you do
Unknown Speaker 1:20:09
have any only fans or like exclusive content other than like literally my instructional so if you go to my Instagram is at Kendall reducing and my last name is easy to remember because of smells like exactly we're using so Kendall reducing and reducing
Unknown Speaker 1:20:21
weight
Unknown Speaker 1:20:24
it's reducing but
Unknown Speaker 1:20:25
it looks like reusing I just never cracked anybody girl because it's
Unknown Speaker 1:20:32
no that is though I feel like such like I some I blame I blame my boyfriend he called you Kendall reusing
Unknown Speaker 1:20:40
hear the things people call me when they announced my name. It's like you take a pic you know?
Unknown Speaker 1:20:45
Okay for the record it is Kendall bruising, bruising God no, you're
Unknown Speaker 1:20:51
fine I'm fine. But anyways on Instagram it's gonna really stink if you go to the link in my bio has everything has like my YouTube channel, my BJJ fanatics all of my websites, everything on there. That's like the best place to find all of my stuff on my discount codes, things like that. But calories thing on Instagram and then YouTube those are like the two best places to find me.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:10
I love that. Is there any just going to perv out on you? Is that and I know every other everyone else is thinking it? Is there any hope for and only fans or a fan time or an exclusive content? You know sometimes people do not like you know mass and titties but just exclusive content, whatever that could be. Maybe it's more of your grounding your mantras, you know, because I'm so impressed, like you're a champion and for you to give access to people to your mindset. Like I appreciate that I wish people of your caliber competitors gave more insight to their mindset, like how can we literally tap into the mindset of a champion? Like I think that would be some great exclusive content for you to do.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:53
That could be fun because a lot of times our subconscious is doing a lot for us that we don't see on the surface. And so if we're able to dig into that and like why is this happening? What is going on? And how can I actually like now change what I'm doing in the real realm like in the physical realm and the real life to reflect like who I'm supposed to be type of thing. So that could be a cool thing to go on. I think I probably will develop some exclusive content in the future I just don't know what platform to use for like maybe a Patreon or like time fan time and oh yeah, I literally like oh my god, I have a weird I thought I was like hearing something that was I'm not on drugs. I swear to God, but that was so fun. Yeah, like so maybe if you're in it Yeah, some kind of exclusive thing. I think it'd be really fun though. I want to say like the only reason I actually didn't do only fans because I thought about doing it for jujitsu content is because it will affect my career and like people will have this like thing about like how many shows and the stigma around it. funny you mentioned Craig I think Craig did do you get to want to move dance for a while and of course like that helps his brand whereas for me it would hurt my brand. So I might do something in the future. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:22:58
I love that. Okay, so check that out guys as always we'll have all of her links in our show notes so you don't have to write it down I don't know if what you're doing right now your spreadsheets you're working out you're doing something you're listening to this. Thank you guys so much if this is it for you, that's awesome. I'm gonna be watching and I'm so invested now and you know my boyfriend always jokes because you know we joke about it because I'm like jujitsu is okay but like now that I know you you know vaguely you know just on surface level I'm like I'm gonna be watching you and rooting for you. Thank you so much for being on the show and yeah thank you guys
Unknown Speaker 1:24:11
wow, what an episode guys that's it for episode 97 with black belt and pretty much all around badass. Kendall Rosing on sex and violence rebel with rebel girl presented by UFC fight pass. UFC fight pass is the world's premier combat sports streaming service with over 200 live events. The largest fight library in existence original shows and more. Sign up for one year and get half off for a limited time at UFC fight pass.com backslash sign up next week guys we talked to Brandon Roy vol. A UFC flyweight who's currently ranked number five in the world fresh off his win at UFC 274 when he defeated match now, it's going to be refreshing to have a dude on the podcast. We are due for one. Please don't forget to check out our website. Buy some merch because it helps us keep the lights on. Don't forget to check that out at sex violence with rebel girl.com, pick up a shirt, a hat, whatever. I really appreciate you guys. We will be doing a new giveaway very soon. And if you want to check out some exclusive content from your host, that's me. Check out www Ashley rebel girl.com. It is like only fans, but better it is my fan time account. You subscribe there and you get to see all the naughty stuff that I can't put on Instagram and the other ones. So don't forget, please, if you liked this show, help us out rate review, go to iTunes, Spotify, whatever it is, give us some stars write us a review. If you want send that review to our DM and I will send you a free sticker. I do I do. I promise I do it all the time. I love you guys. It's been a lengthy episode I know. Full of crazy shit with my suspension and Kendall and but but it's gonna get better guys. It's gonna get better for me. These podcasts are only going to get better. I apologize. I keep yanking your chain about the video podcast. I think we're going video then we're not going video. But the good news is we're exclusive. We have exclusive content on fight pass. We're making moves, big things are happening. We're not going to let shit pull us down. We all face bumps in the road. We're going to keep moving forward, whatever it is, I hope you do the same. Do not let anything slow you down. I love you guys. Thank you every week for tuning in for your fan questions. And as always huge thank you to my guys, audio engineer DJs all at DJs on Instagram tomorrow could studio at tomorrow kids official. And as always you can find us on Instagram at sex and violence rebel girl and myself at Ashley MMA. I really hope you guys enjoyed this show. It means the world that you tune in and actually give a shit. Remember guys, be kind, be grateful, but don't take shit from anyone. I'll see you next week with a new guest and more tales of sex.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai