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Episode 22: Pearl "The Chi-Town Princess" Gonzalez

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Sex and

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sex and violence.

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Hey guys,

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welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl, where we interviewed top level MMA fighters and other experts in their field about love, dating, romance. And that's all too taboo subject. I'm your host,

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Rebel girl,

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Evan Smith. Now let's talk about sex,

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and violence. What's

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happening? Hot Stuff.

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What's happening, guys?

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Thanks for tuning in again,

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or if you're tuning in for the first time, welcome and get ready for a different type of MMA podcast. We still talk to guests about fight preparation, upcoming fights and training. But we also ask the questions that no one else will ask. So far, I've tried my best to get our guests to open up about everything you wouldn't expect to hear on an MMA podcast, dating horror stories, sexual preferences, love lust and lewd tales. We actually spotlight a side of the guests that usually is kept in the dark. I've been getting such great feedback from guests after the show, they've been letting me know that it's nice to open up about a side that they don't usually get to tell our backgrounds history, embarrassing moments, lessons learned. And they tell me how great it is to share their stories with people who can relate and actually appreciate. So we're going to keep the podcast rolling through November, even though I'm booked for a fight November 28. in Vegas, that's only six weeks away. Finally, my last fight was actually a long time ago, February 2019, against Andrea Lee. I lost that decision. But I mean, well, we won't go there. But ever since I lost that fight, let's just say I've been dying to get back in the cage. I was supposed to fight in March, but fuck you very much. COVID I had to fly home literally the day before the fight. And then I got after some fights probably mid pandemic, but because of an injury I had to decline. So finally, now is the time. And I mean, I always feel a little, you know, not right coming off a loss. But you know, I get back to the drawing board and adjust the game plan, work on technique, make my weaknesses stronger, and strengths. second nature, but I never quite feel like right 100% I always have this nagging feeling until I get back on the winning path. Or in the winning column, whatever you want to say. But I feel like I'm working towards that. And yeah, November 28, you guys will see a different fighter. I know a lot of people say that. But a lot of things have changed this year. Coaches a different weight, class sobriety, my focus and a lot of other things, honestly, but some things that never change. I always train my ass off for the fight. And I always leave it all in the cage. So thank you guys for being a huge support during this time, the pandemic has been crazy. And this podcast has really kept me sane. And I hope that a few of you have been kept saying because of it as well. And I'm also not afraid to bear it all with you guys. I mean, I feel like if you guys ever listened to Joey Diaz, he's what's the word? unapologetically honest on there? And if you don't know who he is, then you should slap yourself or go check him out. He's done a podcast called the church of what's happening but now it's called Joey's joint. It's brand new, so check them out. Also, I want to make just a little notice to zebra mats. If you guys are looking for mats, wrestling mats, jujitsu mats, workout mats, zebra mats are amazing. They actually sponsor me for this fight. Well, the whole pandemic really, they met it out my garage wall mats too. And I just gotta say thank you so much to them because you know for a while all the gyms are closed and it's been crucial to have a gym 10 feet from my house. in my garage. Also, we have UFC fights every weekend in October. Tomorrow we have Brian Ortega versus the Korean zombie. It's a rematch. Well, not a rematch, but it was previously booked and then it got Until that happened, there was some drama somebody hit somebody at a fight. Anyway, I think it's highly anticipated. And on that card we have our girl savage Gillian Roberts who was on the podcast, so tune in and support her. Also, guys, if you like the podcast, we're still giving out stickers. So just rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or anywhere else you listen and good news. We are also working on some sex and violence with rebel girl March. I don't have the details yet, but next episode, I feel like we'll have some, some details. We're gonna do a limited run. So maybe like 1020 something like that of T shirts. So if you guys are interested, stay tuned and we'll have more info. But now let's talk to our guest.

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Today's guest is a UFC veteran currently fighting for Invicta FC. With the tenant five record, she's now training for her biggest fight to date. The Invictus strawweight title. The Chicago native is a Mexican, Puerto Rican, Filipino Irish and African American descent and could easily be mistaken for a model rather than a fighter. The San Diego resident is easy on the eyes and hard nosed in the cage. We talk about embracing her sexuality, wrestling with dating apps, relationship roles, the joys of tantric sex and so much more. Here's your guest, the Chinatown princess pearl Gonzalez.

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Like we were bred

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naked you take me

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all right. We have pearl Gonzalez. Hi, Pearl. How you doing?

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Hello, Ashley. I am amazing. Thank you for asking. How are you?

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I'm good. I'm actually training for a fight but you have a fight before my fight. So let's let's talk about you not me.

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Let's talk about your fight. First. You have a big fight. It's a title fight. Who you fighting? Where's it going to be? How you feelin?

Unknown Speaker 7:47
Yes, I do. I'm very fortunate and blessed to to have another opportunity at the strap on November 20. I'll be fighting for Invicta FC, against Aaron blanchfield for the flyweight title. And I'm feeling amazing. I'm in the meat of my camp right now. We're about five weeks out. So it's nice and gritty. My pieces are going are coming together. You know, I'm feeling really good. Yeah, I'm just loving it. This is the life you know what this is, it's my passion. And so training for setting a goal and put having it in front of me and then being able to work towards it and just zoning it and focusing in is what I live for.

Unknown Speaker 8:28
Yeah, you are very focused. I'm always saying you training. It's either a training video or a sexy sexy video, which I love. You know, you have this, you know, very feminine sex appeal to you. And I feel like you almost get some crap for that. Do you get crap for kind of, you know, being like, extrovert, you know, I had Valerie lreda on a couple other girls and people really kind of talk down to them just for being, I don't know, just showing their body a little bit.

Unknown Speaker 9:03
You know, I think that I do, I think that they're, you know, there's comments sometimes. But, you know, I, I put myself out there, too. I'm vulnerable, right? I put myself out there to be judged. So I already know and expect, you know, people to judge me and and some people, maybe this is an area where they're insecure. So I have always tried, especially, I would say the last three to four years I've really kind of come out of my shell and just really just been myself. I love being sexy. I love being beautiful. I am a woman first and then I'm a fighter. And I've been a fighter for my whole life. So with that I I am okay to to kind of open up and share that with the world and whether someone likes it or not. That's their own personal issue. I'm not going to take their personal insecurities and put them on myself.

Unknown Speaker 9:55
It's a really good way of thinking about it. And it's different too, because I feel like a A lot of fighters, whether it's females or males, they say I'm a fighter first. But, you know, you said I'm a woman first. And that's, that's different. But it's so good because you can get lost in this fighter identity, especially if, you know, God forbid we end up getting injured and can't fight. So I think you really have your priorities in check in that area.

Unknown Speaker 10:22
Agreed. And you're right. You know, I think for a long time, I did identify as a fighter first, I'm a fighter first, this is my life fighting is everything. And while it is my number one priority, to be the best in the world is one of my biggest values to success is one of my biggest values. It's not my life, it's not my life, there is a life outside of the gym, I leave the gym, and when I leave the gym, I don't need to be the fighter anymore. And so the last I would say, the last year, I've really been learning how to separate the two and separate my life from fighting because guess what, I'm getting older, there's another there's gonna be another life a whole long life outside of being a fighter. So I kind of need to realize or not even realize, because I already have, but just accept that. Yes, I'm a woman first. And then a fighter. And I think that it takes a little bit of the pressure off of me of having to be this fighter it is, you know, this, whatever image that people expect me to be, I'm who I am.

Unknown Speaker 11:24
I love the so before we talk about life outside the gym, you talked about being the best in the world. And I didn't mean to just brush over the fact that you, you have a chance to prove that in five weeks. So, you know, winning this title. This is such a kind of corny question. You get it a lot. But it's it's a great question. What does winning the title mean to you, Pearl?

Unknown Speaker 11:49
Oh, my gosh, this is my life's work. I have been competing in mixed martial arts since I was 11 years old. It wasn't even called mixed martial arts. It was called nhB. No Holds Barred when I first joined MMA. I have been competing. I've been in this sport since I was 11 years old, more than half of my life. It's my life's work. And it doesn't even just represent the fighting aspect of my life. I'm a fighter period outside of this, you know, I've had a hard life, I've always had to learn how to just not stop fighting. And that's like, one of my biggest models is like you fight for your life fight for your dreams, and you just can't stop fighting regardless if I fail. Regardless, if I if I lose if if whatever is being presented in front of me, I have no choice, but to keep fighting. And so I feel like this belt, this title represents so much more than just being the Invictus world champion. It represents my lifelong work, my dedication, if I could really look at my career and look at how what I've put into this sport, I have literally sacrificed everything, from you know, time, to relationships, to food to water, to like, everything that you can imagine I have sacrificed for the sport at some at some point. And to to have this strap wrapped around my waist. It just proved that it all of these years, all of the struggles, all the sacrifices, it was all worth it. Because I am a champion.

Unknown Speaker 13:21
I completely agree. And I always say this to people. They're like, what advice would you give to, you know, fighters, amateur fighters, or, you know, girls, boys up and comers, anything. And it kind of refers to what you're talking about you we always have to fight even in life, right? Not just in the cage. And the difference between I'd say me and a lot of other men or women that I've met along the way and you know, trained with and they were even better than me the difference between me and them was the fact that I never gave up. And I feel like you're the same. So no matter what happened in our life, whether it was a family situation or a breakup or losing a fight, you know, I don't know I've been I've gone viral by getting knocked out in an embarrassing fashion. And that hits you really hard, and it makes you think about giving up. So like no matter what happens, I feel like us as fighters not just in the cage, we always we find a way to keep going, if that makes

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sense. So read and it's like that's just a life model, right? Like, am I gonna succumb and just give in, you know, and I think that the last few months, I always try to find like a quote or a model or something to kind of live by for a few months and like until, until it's like ingrained into my subconscious. And and the model that I have really been ingraining in myself is I refuse to allow anyone to set limitations on me, including myself. I refuse to let anyone nobody's going to tell me you can't do this or no, no, I'm not going to allow anybody to set a limitation on me. Including myself, because we can do the same thing to ourselves. So it's kind of been my motto for the last last few months, and now I've been owning it, I'm owning it.

Unknown Speaker 15:07
That's such a good one, especially given the pandemic, because, you know, it's not a person. It's just the way things are right now. But I feel like a lot of people are just accepting the situation. Okay, this is how it is. It's just a bad year. But you and I both know, we do not have to accept that don't accept, what is it, don't accept the limitations.

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Don't allow others to set limitations on you, including

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yourself. Exactly. So I feel like everyone should. It's a you know, it's a motto. It's a mantra, it's a, you know, right now, it's a way of life for a lot of people. And I think that if we just say that mantra that I think we'd all be a little better off.

Unknown Speaker 15:52
Right? I mean, because like, think about it. You know, a doctor can tell you, you have that you can never play sports again, like who is this doctor to tell me what I can do with my life? You know, Now granted, do I need to respect his expertise and his knowledge? Absolutely. But he's not going to tell me how I'm going to live the rest of my life, you know? Or if your friend tells you Oh, why would you go for that? Don't do that. That's stupid. Like, who is that friend? And tell me that because they're scared, because that's their own insecurity, you know, like, and even with ourselves, you know, I can find myself to sometimes be like, Oh, god, that's crazy. But who am I to say, I'm not able to do that, you know, it was while building if you can conceive it, or you can conceive it, you can achieve it, you know, I believe in that the mind is is a magical thing. And if you just apply it and you're determined, and you're persistent, and you're consistent, man shit, amazing. Shit happens.

Unknown Speaker 16:44
I can swear I'm sorry. Oh, of course. Yeah, you can say whatever you want on this podcast. So speaking of limitations, have there been any limitations with your training due to the pandemic?

Unknown Speaker 17:00
You know, I'm fortunate to be in California, I'm sure you know, and no, I really have not been affected even when the pandemic first hit, right, the gyms kind of everything shut down. I was fortunate enough, have a physical therapy sit open. And I have this amazing physical therapist that I've been seeing for like six years. And I've you know, being an athlete, you always have an injury that can be worked on. And so I was just able to utilize my physical therapy. And I was going to see her three days a week for three hours. And then and then the gym. Then in my gym, particularly, we started having our private sessions, because we're still going like, How fortunate are we that we're in a sport that is thriving, right now the world shut down, and our sport started to thrive. And so, because of that, you know, we had these private sessions. And so I was just able to keep training. I think the first month, I could say, I had to get a little creative with the gyms being shut down. And like, during my workouts at home and figuring out some things like that at home, and then going to my physical therapy, but no, I haven't really been affected by it, you know, I, obviously you want to live cautiously or, or, you know, protect yourself with with, you know, getting sick and things like that. But for the most part is it, you know, this is my life, I'm in the gym, and I'm and then I'm home. And so that really I'm very fortunate and grateful for that, too. Yeah, that's

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amazing, actually, because like you said, we're probably the only sport or maybe the only group of people that are actually flourishing during the pandemic. Actually, I mean, you're you are about to have a title fight. So 2020 is definitely a shitty year for a lot of people, but it might be one of your best years, right?

Unknown Speaker 18:41
Oh, my gosh, it's so crazy. Actually. I have been, I have been manifesting. I don't know if you want to call it manifesting. But I have been saying for the last three years, a 2020 was my year. And I remember looking back back in July, and I was like, oh god, this is really not a year Am I locked up? You know, and here I am just a couple months later, like, holy shit, this is my year. Like, I'm telling you like, my, like, so many, like, my favorite number was 2020 for like the last three years. And so it's just so like, it's so beautiful. How this is all like the puzzle pieces are just coming together right now for me. And, you know, it's all about perspective. I've been challenged. I've been very challenged this year as as everybody has, you know, but I've been challenged in my personal life. And I've been challenged even in my career, you know, I lost my fight and my last fight in the beginning of the year. So I've been challenged in so many ways. And at that time while I was going through it, God It felt like I was like this horrible thing was happening to me. But now that I've removed myself I've managed to create some distance from it. I can look at it be like holy fuck, this was like the best the best thing that could happen to me really. So it is it's it's a it's been a great year so far. And I feel like you know, I'm just getting ready to like kind of showcase

Unknown Speaker 19:58
what this year has been for me. Yeah. And five weeks. That's awesome. So let's talk about pros life outside the gym. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 20:10
Now, you know, I think that I, I have always done a good job of protecting myself protecting my personal life. I'll talk about my family and some of the things I've gone through. But like you said, if you go to my social media, people can say they know me, but all they really see is me training or me being cute and pretty. You don't really have you don't see me writing paragraphs on my life. I don't I don't I keep a lot of shit kind of personal. So, you know, when I when I, when I was asked to do when you asked me to do this podcast, I was like, Okay, let me think about it. And I was like, you know what I can I can let a little bit out, I can sprinkle a little bit for the people out there. You know what I mean? And just just so that, I hope that I can only help and inspire someone else for my course.

Unknown Speaker 20:55
I mean, your fans want to get to know you on a personal level. They appreciate you as a fighter. But like you said, You're not just a fighter, you're a female. You know, you I mean, you might be a sister, you might be I don't I don't know your background, but let's talk about your relationships. So, first of all, how do you identify Are you straight by gay? pansexual?

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I love Boys,

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boys. All right.

Unknown Speaker 21:23
Well, man, you know what I mean. But I like but you know, I'm curious. At some point in my life, I believe that the woman is the most beautiful thing on the planet, like, women are so beautiful. and myself included, like, we just can't it's like, it's like art, you know. And one day, it's like, that's my goal for 2021. That's 2020 to 2021 by the end of 2021. I definitely am curious to see what it's like to be with a girl. That's awesome.

Unknown Speaker 21:55
So that means you're, you're single, then

Unknown Speaker 22:00
I'm single, yes, I am single. Okay, so

Unknown Speaker 22:03
you're single, and you're keeping your options open. I feel like yeah, oh, man, this is gonna be a great year, you're gonna win that title to get a date a boy or a girl.

Unknown Speaker 22:17
So I, I am recently I would say read, like fresh, but I'm recently out of a long term relationship. Alright, I haven't been single for a long time. So I'm very new to this, the single game, which is a little it's a little intimidating. I'm not gonna lie, because there's like all these dating apps. And one of my kind of, I wouldn't say it was a rule, but it's just kind of the way that I do things is I've never dated someone inside the gym. In my gym. I've never dated a fighter I've never dated in my gym, when I go to the gym is my sanctuary. And I take it so serious. It's so personal to me, it's so valuable to me that I'm in there. And like most people are like, She's such a bitch. And I'm not really a bitch. I'm just focused. Like, I'm not here to play games. I'm not here to make friends. I'm not here to find some to date. Some do. I'm here to work, I'm here to get my work in and and you know, this is where like, my only place I think as a child I learned is where I could be free, free from all the stress on the outside of my life. And so I've always kept it that way. I never wanted to bring any like personal shit inside the gym. So it's hard, right? Because I'm in the gym all the fucking time. So where where am I going to be someone who knows? Do you know? And I like we have I have this thing with my coach Manolo. I'm sure you know him. And I'm like, first off, I haven't had I haven't had sex, and probably eight months now. And even before then, I've probably I've had sex. I can count on my hands in the last three years. Because of my long term. distance. Yes. So and I'm like, What is what's wrong with me? My coach Manolo, they're always trying to get it with him. Like, he's all left and right, this dude, I'm like, there's something wrong with me. This dude is getting it and I'm that.

Unknown Speaker 24:11
But So wait, let me let me clarify real quick. So you just got out of a very long relationship. And it was long distance. So, you know, the last time you had sex was eight months ago, but in the last few years, you've only had sex a handful of times. Yeah, because he was you know, long distance and

Unknown Speaker 24:35
right. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that that means

Unknown Speaker 24:42
that's probably why you're such a killer in the gym. All that pent up anger. Sexual frustration.

Unknown Speaker 24:49
Oh my god. Yes. Regardless, regardless of that, I'm still a fucking freak. I'm a freak like, no one thing that I have learned through This really is how to be beautiful to be sexy. And to own that shit without having to do it for someone, like, I'll, I'll tell you the truth, like I'll put lingerie on, on a Saturday night, I'll drink, I'll have a couple drinks. And I'll be in the fucking mirror dancing sexy until 4am. Like that. I'm afraid but you know, I have had to, I've had to adjust my life in a way where I have, I've spent a lot of time alone. Though, I would say the last three years, especially like, I'd say 90% of the holidays were spent alone. The last this year actually, I had the best birthday party ever. But before then I probably hadn't celebrated my birthday. In years, I had I spent it alone. So it's a it's a new, that's when I say it's a challenging year for me, my life is totally transition personally, to you know, this, this relationship that I was in that I was, was working to, to be in for the rest of my life, to now I am like, rearranged my whole life in a personal way. And now I'm kind of like, finding myself again and figuring out what's it what is it that I want? Now, you know, what kind of partner do I want? Do I have a lot of partner? And even sexually right? Like, if you don't, if you don't have you got to experience things to figure out what you like. So I've had to the way that I kind of am is I'm a nerd, I'm a book nerd. I read and I read every sex books, I'm learning Tantra, like, there's just so many other aspects of this, that I've had to kind of adjust to not having a partner or someone to practice on.

Unknown Speaker 26:33
Yeah, so just to be clear, how long were you in that last relationship? You said a long time and I just want to know, cuz I'm like, how outdated are you?

Unknown Speaker 26:44
Like, reading books? Like?

Unknown Speaker 26:47
Right? Really, it really is, I would have talked to chuck it awkward sometimes. times. And then I'm like, kind of an airhead to, like my coaches would be like, especially like in the gym, I think like the dude was just fucking flirting with y'all to really, like I didn't, I didn't get like, sometimes I'm such an airhead. Like I can hear something, but I really don't hear it. And I think like the perfect example is a few weeks ago when I commentated and it's like, there's this video kind of went everywhere. Because he was saying something and trying to like, you know, wanted me to ask him a question. And I was not fucking listening. I totally moved on off subject. And I kind of do, you know, I kind of like, I tend to be an airhead sometimes, but I was in this relationship for 10 years.

Unknown Speaker 27:39
Yeah, that's a long time. For sure. You definitely. So dating apps are completely new then right?

Unknown Speaker 27:45
Oh, my god, they're so new to me. And I'm gonna be honest, like, I really don't have the patience for it. I'm like, Oh, God, like what? You know, like, you know, there's, I've tried, I have this one dating app that I'm on that I'm not even on there to date. I'm on there for friends. And I just, I can't even respond. Like, it's been probably two weeks since I've responded to the people in there. Like, it's definitely like, Oh, I'm a very cerebral person. And I want to talk to someone I want to look you in your eyes, I want to see what your body language is like, you know what I mean? Like, the text texting is you can just create this image of this person, and it's completely fucking opposite. And I think that that was a lesson I learned through my long distance relationship. The last three years, the bulk of that relationship was spent emailing. And even phone calls were very scarce. Like, we would talk on the phone, maybe one or two times. He was military, he was deployed a lot. So it was hard and and when we kind of when he came back to the States, he definitely was not the person that I had envisioned him to be in my mind. So it is it's a dating apps for me are a little tricky, because I do I want to see someone face to face. And I'm also like, at a place where I'm like, I'm not missing training to go hang out to go eat food. Like No, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 29:06
so I mean, I feel like right now you're in camp. You have a title fight like definitely the last thing on your mind. But let's just say you know, hypothetically speaking, five weeks you're the champ you got some time to relax? What about going out with all those girls down at San Diego combat Academy? You got a Lima you got Liz, like all those girls, you guys ever go out? And you know, do they ever play wing woman for you?

Unknown Speaker 29:31
Ah, so when I go out with those girls, they always take me to the gay bars and sometimes, like these lesbians are super great. Like they intimidate me and I'm like, Oh my god, like this girl is really trying to hit on me just kind of scary. I will say this. So I actually the coolest thing about this whole situation with the whole like breakup with the relationship is I moved into a new place, downtown and I've met, I met this, who's now like my bestie. I met her a few months ago. And she is like this total free spirit. She's a social butterfly, she loves going out, she hangs out with a bunch of beautiful women. She's booziest cluck like me, like, fancy, fancy meals and you know, like, partying on yachts and shit. And so it's such a perfect person for me to like, get close to because she totally takes me out of my own comfort zone. And even when I met her, I had met her I was like, I was gardening I have a garden on my patio and I was like working on my patio. And so I just hear her she was in the pool, and she's like, Hey, I really like your your patio and I look up I was like, What? Like, oh my god, did you ever work it all down and I was like, I'm gonna be spontaneous. I'm gonna be spontaneous this week. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna introduce myself drama, ask her name. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna hang out with this girl. And so sure enough, that's what happened is she was house sitting a penthouse on the top floor of our building. And she's like, come up, I was like, I'll be up in an hour. I don't really I'm telling you. I'm an introvert. I don't really hang out like this. So I had, I purposely took myself out of my comfort zone. And I went and I hung out with her. And aside from since I've been in camp, obviously now I'm in a completely different mode. But before camp started, like, her and I were inseparable, and she was introducing me to all these people. And it's, it's been awesome, because now I'm comfortable with someone and and she said the way she's single as well. So and she's hot. She's such a hottie that is like, we're just having a blast. So I am looking forward to once camp is over. I did just I signed up for combat jujitsu A month later, at the end of December, I would ideally like to get another whether it's combat jujitsu or another fight in before the end of the year. And then yes, we're planning on like, traveling, she travels all the time. So like, we want to travel together and like I am looking forward to like unwinding a little bit with her. That's perfect. I

Unknown Speaker 31:55
was actually gonna ask if she's single. Me and Carla, my besties. You know, sometimes she'll be single, sometimes I'm single. And when one is in a relationship, and the other one single, we're like, God dammit, get out of that relationship. So you can so

Unknown Speaker 32:12
yeah, it doesn't because she's like, I don't she's not looking for a relationship. And I'm, I'm definitely not looking for a relationship right now. So it's just like, it's, it's like the perfect duel for us. It's just right now I'm like, I can't she's always like, do you want to go here and like, I can't, I can't, I can't go fucking go anywhere right now. And again, she's kind of learned and she'll come like, hang out with me, here and there. But like, right now I am in a different mode. I'm in fight mode. But she lives in my building. So like, I we stop at each other's house. We'll have dinner together. She comes checks on my puppy, I go check on her kitties. Like it's cool. It's a really, it's a really awesome relationship that I've found. That's awesome. What's her name? Her name is yadi

Unknown Speaker 32:53
yadi. She sounds awesome. So you know, thank goodness for Yachty So you said you were boozy and she's boozy? Like you? Does that mean that you like boogy? Guys? Like what kind of what kind of guys are you usually into?

Unknown Speaker 33:10
Okay, so I like sexy, as successful as men. I am so goal driven. I am so determined to be better. I can't I can't fuck with someone that is is complacent. You know what I mean? Like, I love ambition. I love drive. And again, I told you, I don't want to date a fighter or anybody in the gym, right? Because this is my special place in my sanctuary. But I want someone with that fighter mentality where they're like, they just want to conquer the world. And I think that that's the biggest piece for me is is the mindset is is the number one thing that I kind of look at right? And then it's like the face the eyes of course. You know, I gotta have some kind of connection there. The hands I look at hands a lot hands. And I don't know why but I like hands if they've got some fucking soft dad's hands. I'm like, I don't know about this.

Unknown Speaker 34:08
So you need like some calluses.

Unknown Speaker 34:11
Some work work ethic on there.

Unknown Speaker 34:14
Yeah, and, and shoes. Shoes are a big thing to you, man. If you got the fucked up shoes. We got a problem.

Unknown Speaker 34:24
Oh my god. I mean, I get where you're coming from. I just laugh because I'm like the opposite. I'm like, you can wear a pair of dirty Chuck Taylors and I'm like, I love you know good. Okay, so you like a guy with his, you know, basically his shit together very, you know, goal oriented, driven, but also sexy. I mean, who doesn't like a sexy guy?

Unknown Speaker 34:47
Right. And I believe that it's much more than than just books right? Like sex appeal doesn't? Yeah, of course. It helps to be you know, look great. What is it skin beauty comes to the skin. It really is skin deep, right? Like, you got to have a beautiful soul to really be beautiful. Yeah, you can have a nice body and a nice face. But when you talk to you, you know, you need someone that's shallow as fuck. You're like, Nah, this isn't this isn't my vibe. So it is it's more than just like, it's not just superficial to me like, Yeah, I just, I'm a good hearted person. I'm a loyal person. I'm honest, I don't need to lie to you. Like I don't need to pretend to be somebody. So I admire those those nuts similar or the same. I don't need someone just like me, but I admire qualities like, you know, a good, good person. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 35:38
You. So I got to ask because I think the 10 years. That's the longest relationship anyone's ever had on the podcast. I mean, we've had people that have had, like, long, you know, 567, but 10 years is a really long time. And I'm just thinking, obviously, there was a lot of, there must have been some great times in those 10 years, obviously, it fell apart. But what did you learn in that 10 year like that's, I've only my longest relationship is a year. And I'm just, you know, I'm learning every year how to be a better partner. Not be selfish thing about the other person, just all these things. I mean, obviously, it's a big chunk of your life, but like, what would you say you took away from that very, very long relationship like pros and cons?

Unknown Speaker 36:25
Oh, my gosh, so much. First and foremost. When I when I met him, I was in Chicago. I was at the end of my amateur career. And I was this girl from Chicago that only knew the fucking hood that only knew like, dysfunction, and pain and suffering, right. And I just, I had always dreamed of wanting better, I wanted a better life. Yet, I didn't have any examples of what that really was. And surprisingly, one of my biggest goals or dreams was like, I just want to I want to be a professional fighter, I don't want to, I was working three jobs. At this time. I just wanted to train full time to become this professional fighter to to one day, become a champion. And I wanted to move to California, I just wanted to leave Chicago, I wanted to get out of the hood man, I wanted better for myself. And he was military was not from Chicago, military brat. So he had traveled the world his entire life. Very intelligent, super intelligent, man. And so he, the best thing that I could say that he did for me was he provided me with a very safe, a safe environment to grow. And then he also taught me what love really what what love was like, he didn't he wasn't treating me like shit. Like, like, I was treated before and my previous relationships, like, he always said nice things to me. You know, he cooked for me, he would sing he was a singer. So he would sing to me and like, we traveled, he took me to my first vacation at 24 years old, you know, and so, he showed me so many, like, beautiful things outside of, of what I knew, which was the streets, right? And, and through that, right, he was he showed me I feel like there was times where he lifted me up, you know, I had to rise to his level because he was mentally on a on another level. And through that, because he provided me with this safe structure and kind of the freedom to become my own. I was able to I read I've read so many relationship books. I you know, I've studied I've researched it and and learn because it wasn't a perfect relationship we had we had arguments and plus, I'm fucking crazy. You know what I mean? So like, you know, we had our we had our fights and stuff. But I knew that I wanted to be better. And it was because he challenged me in a way where I was like, Damn, this dude is is on this level, like, I need to meet him there. And what would happen was, is I would start to read these books, and I would start to implement and practice these new tools that I was learning about being in a relationship. And then all of a sudden, we'd come to a point where I would be like, more mature, much more mature emotionally than he was. And he was, I remember one time, like, kind of when it first happened. He looked at me, like when did I become such a bad communicator? Like, watch this. He was so mad, he was crying, you know, you're arguing at this time and I was just like, well, I've been working on it, you know, like this is I want to do better. And and then he would and then I would challenge him in that way to drive and and and become better. And so then he would have to rise to my level. And it was like this beautiful like, where we were just kind of like level up on each other and then meet each other and level up on each other. And I think that that was probably the best thing about that and that relationship that I that I took away from it was one I had this beautiful, peaceful environment where, you know, he would deploy a lot. He's he's been in the military, my entire entire relationship. So we would be separated a lot. And I had this home, you know, where I was used to being in a home with drugs and alcohol and fighting and fucking drama and parties. And, and, and then, you know, I guess with my dad it wasn't like that my dad was he was God I had a dad, which is another piece I'll get to that my dad did take really good care of me and created that same kind of environment. But I was able to create a peaceful environment in my home where it was quiet, I I felt safe at home, and I wish I could read I could grow, I could implement these things and be vulnerable. And so, um, I think that that really helped me, I would say that the biggest lesson learned because as much as I want to look at I'm like a fucking dirtbag and like, she's a jerk, and you know, I'm hurt. And now that

Unknown Speaker 40:56
I was blessed in so many ways to have this man in my life. And I would say the biggest thing that I took away from, from the failure of the of the relationship was that you can never become complacent in a in a relationship, you can never think, oh, I don't need I don't that I don't need to work at this, or I'm who you know what, fuck his feelings. This is where I am. Because I would say, you know, he moved to another, another country three years ago. And when he did that, I chose not to move with him, I chose to stay here in California, and to just really give 100% to being a fighter, I think before then I was always like taking care of my family or being being you know, on his side, and we'd be moving and whatever else was going, I'd always put other things in front of my career at times. And so this time, I was like, You know what, I'm going to take these three years, and I'm gonna own being a fucking fighter, like, I'm a college student, I rented a little room, you know, with a roommate, and like, it was just, I would sleep in my car in between training sessions. So I could say 40 minutes and get, you know, sleep instead of driving back and forth. And like, really just owned being a fighter. And, and I chose I chose and I told him, like, I'm not going to be your partner, I'm unwilling to be the woman that you need me to be right now. My career is first I am willing to sacrifice and I said this a couple years ago, I will sacrifice whatever it takes to be a world champion, including my relationship. And so I think that I became complacent in that relationship where I, I'd stopped working at it, and the day that you stop working at a relationship and the day the relationship starts to die. And I believe I believe their roles in a relationship. I really do. I believe that. And people have their own views, whoever's views, I'm not going to, you know, that's yours. This is mine. And my view on a relationship is that for a woman a woman is is to provide a man with respect a woman is to uplift her, her man, um, I was raised as a single parent by my daddy, from like, 10 years old until I was 17. When I moved out, and he just adored me, like, he held my hand, he always opened my door. for Valentine's Day, he'd buy me a rose and chocolate, like he was just using sweetest man. And because of that, I've just learned to like, honor men, like I love men. And I really believe as a woman, it is our job to to honor them like to look at them like a king, you know what I mean? And like, you respect them, you don't even want to put them down, the man is out there fighting the world, and you know, trying to conquer the world, the last place, the last place that he needs to go and be flawed or put down is, is by his woman, and at home. And so I truly believe that a woman's role in a relationship is to uplift her man, to respect him to give him that leadership role, one, to take care of the house to provide like a peaceful loving environment for him so that he can come home and relax. And I believe that a man's role is is to provide security to provide period like, I'm sorry, my daddy, she spoiled the shit out of me. You know, that's a big piece like I'm not scared to ask for things from a man I'm not like I need to be independent that he can't pay my bills. Hell no, I pay my shit. And I but I believe that that's a man's role he's to provide for the family provide that security, you know, make me feel safe so that I can be this this beautiful woman and be gentle to me. You know, I believe women need love. We need love we need to be caressed and cared for. And a man needs respect. He needs to be uplifted and and fucking feel like the king and the king of the world. He doesn't need love. I don't need to baby him. He wants he needs to feel like a fucking King so we can go out and conquer the world. And I don't need to feel that I don't need to, to go out and like you know, fucking take down everything in front of me. I need to feel safe and secure to so Whatever it is that I do decide to do, I can do that because I have someone that's gonna have my back.

Unknown Speaker 45:07
Yeah, I really believe it. And it's hard. It's hard, right? It's hard, especially when you've been independent or you're a strong woman like we are, we're in a very male dominated, we're in a manly sport, we are strong women, we are we're fierce, we're fighters, etc, it's hard to be vulnerable in that way to give a man that power where you're like, you know, okay, let him be okay, baby, you make that decision. It's okay, let him have that. And that was really hard for me to kind of have to do because I was at 17 years old, I was out on my own. And I raised my sister and put her through high school at 19. And so I had this like, strong independent, I got this shit, I'm in control mentality. So to kind of give that that power roll to him was a struggle at first. But today, I really do believe in that. And, and the same for you know, and you let him let him have it, like, you know, when I don't know, it's like, when you're driving with your boyfriend, and you're like, just turn left turn, right. Don't do this. Don't do that. Like, you just gotta shut the fuck up, even though you know the going the wrong way. Let them make fucking decision, he'll figure it out. You know, and, and I believe when you do that, when you do that you give your man that, that confidence, one in that trust, that they can count on you no matter what. So that even though when even though you know, like, you want to go right? And you don't say anything, he'll probably be like, hey, which way do I go? There you go. I think he should go right. But you know, you do what you want. And now you just totally, like, gave him that power. And it's just these little like, these, these roles that I really believe really helped flourish. A relationship.

Unknown Speaker 46:46
I honestly, I think you're completely right. I feel like your view is more traditional, you know, than a lot of like, you know, modern day women I go, I'm an independent woman, I want to do this. And we are but you know, you're basically saying that just because you're an independent woman doesn't mean you can't let the man feel like he's the king of the castle.

Unknown Speaker 47:12
Right? Exactly. I mean, and that's the goal, right? Like, that's what you want, you want a confident, strong fucking man that wants to get up in the morning and go and fucking conquer whatever it is, and fucking, you know, go hunt and bring that shit that kill home, you don't want a man like that you don't want like a man that's like, waking up fucking, you know, dreading the day and doesn't want to accomplish anything and doesn't feel like he's sufficient enough at home or out in the world, like, you know, you want to give him that and in return, he's gonna give it back to you, you know, like, in a different way. And it takes time. And it is, is very traditional. I agree with you. 100%. But I believe that that's, that's the way it works. Like, you know, that's the way it should work, at least.

Unknown Speaker 47:55
Yeah, and I just said traditional in the, in the sense that, you know, there's couples out there where the woman is the breadwinner, and maybe the male stays at home with the kids or whatever, or the males, you know, working on his budding new business, and she's providing financially, you know, for the both of them for this point until maybe he gets off the ground. So there's just different scenarios where, you know, your views might not always be exactly what's going on, but I definitely see that male female energy, like your view on that, and I agree, I agree.

Unknown Speaker 48:33
And like I said, you know, everybody, everybody's entitled to their own opinion. And, and I don't, I'm not knocking anybody else's idea, ideal of their relationship and stuff like that. But this is, this is what I believe. And this is when it when it is time for me to go out and get her and get back into relationship and find that this is what I'm looking for. And this is, this is what I would like to have in a relationship. No, again, and I realize it's compromised, right, so we're gonna have to compromise on some shit here. And you're always going to have to compromise that's a part of this, it's a piece to the puzzle that I really want this, but some shit is not really worth it. If you If you really love that person, and you want this ship to work, you you've got to bend a little bit. And so I think that that's another very important piece to relationship is that patience, you know, is that patience and the willingness to kind of man I really strongly believe in this, but you know, this is his view. So how can I still see it in my way, but also see it in his way so that we can come together because you're two different separate individuals, you're never going to see you're never gonna see from each other's eyes. But you can come together with those two separate views and make a new a new a whole new pan new picture. And I think that that's also very important as well. When getting into a relationship is one you have to really know your values. You got to know what Okay, what are the what's the most fucking important thing to me in my life. Is it is it success is it health is it is it you know, money Finance, is it whatever it is love, what's the most important values in your life and you kind of prioritize them and you number them, right. And with those, you've got to, you've got to meet someone with similar values, not exact, similar values. So that when it comes to living a life together, it can match. You know what I mean? You have to have someone with similar values, at least a couple, especially the top three, I would say, are very important to be kind of on a similar page.

Unknown Speaker 50:28
Yeah, I totally agree. And it seems like one of the benefits of being in this very long relationship past relationship, you know what you want, even though it has been 10 years since you've been in the dating game. And so I think, when you do have time after the spied, and you're kind of going out and you're on the prowl, you know, you know what you want? And it also sounds like, you know, obviously, you're not going to break down and cry on the podcast, but I get the vibe that you're dealing with this breakup very well. Am I wrong?

Unknown Speaker 51:00
Yes, I am. It's been a few months now. Um, you know, I have my time to be down about it. And to go through that. But, you know, again, I'm, I'm always trying to look at the positives are trying to look at what how can I benefit from this, not what, what I lost out of it, and that now, he's a great man, he's a great person, I wish him well, I hope he finds what he wants in his life. But at the end of the day, we came to see that our values no longer aligned, and what we wanted in life no longer works. And so for me, you know, I don't think that in the next, I'm not, I'm not looking for relationship, I don't even think at any point, like I want to be single I have, I have very specific goals that I really want to focus on right now. Now, I want to focus on me because it has been a relationship and you do have to compromise, right? And so at this point, it's like, What does What do I want? What do I want in my life before I settle down with someone and do that, and what's dating? Like, I haven't been on a date. And it's been so long since I've been on a date. So, you know, I want to experience some of that, and being able to pick up and go wherever I want to go or decide to do what I want to do. And, you know, my career is the number one value right now my life, my success is the most, most important thing and my priority. And so like, I need to put that first and I have that and I want to continue. When a relationship when you get into relationship you do you kind of have to adjust. And that's not I'm unwilling to do that right now. I think that my career and my goals are our most important.

Unknown Speaker 52:42
Yeah, it's time for you to be selfish. You've you've been compromising and, and working on relationship relationship for the past 10 years. So time to just date and get out there. What What does an ideal date look like for you?

Unknown Speaker 52:57
Oh, my God, how about a dream day?

Unknown Speaker 52:59
Yeah, Dream day, What's your dream date?

Unknown Speaker 53:02
Today, I want to go to like the SPS or something. So I love dressing up. I love being super fucking, like, beautiful. And like, fuck this feeling like acquaintance. So I would love to, like go to like, you know, like the Wii, I don't know. VMAs like an sp the Grammys, like, I would love to do that. If that's not the case, I think like, you know, like a would something cool and more realistic is like, I don't know, let's go get a pedicure together. Let's let's have a conversation. Let's go on a hike somewhere. Let's, let's sit down and have a nice, nice dinner. Let's work out together. You know, like, the things that I value. And what I like to do on my own time are are these things and so, I'd like to share that with someone. I don't think like, you know, like going to the movies like The traditional shit, you don't really get to talk to them. You're not really getting to know this person. And like I said, I'm very cerebral. I want to have a conversation and look up at the fucking stars. So five in the morning, you know what I mean? Like, that's just my vibe, but I'm, I'm a communicator, I like to talk I want to hear your ideas. I want to find a way through you how I can be better how I can implement some of your ideas. And I'm also very physical, you know, and healthy health conscious. So I think that those would be my ideal dates or how to hang out with someone.

Unknown Speaker 54:18
Yeah, some something active where you can listen to the person and get to know them. Not just you know, zoom. What's it called? just zone out on like a TV screen or something like that.

Unknown Speaker 54:30
Exactly, exactly.

Unknown Speaker 54:32
So what's Okay, so that's like an ideal day. What's a perfect date? Now we're doing we're having sexy time. What's an ideal sex? Sexual position? Sexual situation for you. I know you're not looking for a boyfriend, but I feel like you're still looking for some dick.

Unknown Speaker 54:53
Love that. That's hilarious. I like I said I love being sexy like it showing up ideal situation with the right right man is um you know I'm in lingerie. I love lingerie. I love heels. I love being dressed up beautiful. Who knows I might have a wig i can i mean like fun. And I think that you know, some lingerie I think that I would love like candles. I'm in suspense. So like, some incense or something that I love. I don't know, my favorite smells like Palo Santo or Sage or something, something beautiful smell and as beautiful smelling air, maybe like I'm a massage. I told you. I'm like learning, learning Tantra right now. And so like learning, you know, or massaging and just, I want to like,

Unknown Speaker 55:40
what is it? Is it like sexual massage?

Unknown Speaker 55:46
It's very spiritual. Yes, it's a it's a massage. It's kind of connecting and becoming in sync with your breathing. It's looking into your eyes. It's very sexy. It's like, it's like the foreplay part of it is is, is the longer part of it. And the actual, like, sex isn't as much as much as the, the the foreplay to build up massage. Yes, it's touching. It's like feathers, and it's like silk and you're like touching the body and like, finding what areas are sensitive on the body. Like, I want to just cherish someone's body and I want that to be done to me. And like, I'm definitely the type that you put a couple drinks in me, you know, I got my lingerie on, I'm definitely gonna hit you with the sexy dance, dancing and being sensual. So that would happen and then you know, I think massaging and kind of just cherishing each other's body, you know, and, and and then going into, into the sex and, and, and having that, but I'm definitely not like, like, you know, like a porn type. That's not my vibe. I want something sensual. I want I want to be touched. I want to be, you know, feel like a beautiful woman. Yeah, I want to make them feel like that.

Unknown Speaker 56:57
I feel like a lot of like, kind of myth, but like, just like a very misguided, like thought process for fighter girls is like, Oh, you like it rough all the time. Like no bitch. Like, I'm

Unknown Speaker 57:09
a woman.

Unknown Speaker 57:10
I want to be tough, touchy gender sometimes, too. So I asked people a lot. I'm like, oh, you're aggressive in the cage. Does that transfer into the bedroom? But clearly it sounds like you're more passive or submissive in the bedroom?

Unknown Speaker 57:26
I am but don't get me wrong. Fuck you want me to tie you up? I'll fucking tie you up.

Unknown Speaker 57:35
Okay, so just kind of depends on what mood you're in.

Unknown Speaker 57:39
Exactly. And it's the roles right? It's, it's, I want to I want to please a man. Like, I want to be pleased, right? I want I want a man to ask me. What do you want and whatever it is I want I just want him to do that and do it with so much fucking passion that like, it's just fucking mind blowing. Right? Because that's what I want to do to you. I want to do that you What do you want? What do you like? Let me let me figure it out. You like this? You like that? Okay, and I'm gonna do that. And I like I said, I want to cherish a fucking man. Like, I love men. You know, I love I love a man and and I want to be able to do that. Because I also I want that to you know, I just want that beautiful, like, back and forth connection with each other.

Unknown Speaker 58:22
Yeah, I'm so happy to hear you say that because you were talking about your traditional roles. And I was like, Oh, please don't say like, Oh, I'm going to sexually like please him sexually and do whatever who wants to let go? Like, no, you want it to be reciprocated, right?

Unknown Speaker 58:36
Yeah, I am. I am boozy as fuck, okay. And like my nickname in the gym is they call me princess all the time. You know, like, I told you, I was raised by my dad who spoiled the shit out of me. You know, and really, he treated me really he never he made sure to never ever say to put me down to call me names to say you can't like he always uplifted me. He always like called me honey. And he had such a sweet, gentle voice and like, so I've learned that and I and I've learned to expect that from a man as well where, you know, I want I want to be cherished, like I will cherish you because I've also learned to love that way as well.

Unknown Speaker 59:19
Yeah. And so you're I love that you're just looking for like, like mutual respect, whether it's in the relationship or in the bedroom, like mutual respect seems to be like a big theme of what you're looking for.

Unknown Speaker 59:34
Agreed, agreed, like, you know, like, I don't, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna spend two hours on your body buggin touching you and licking you and doing all this shit. And then you don't reciprocate that you're crazy. Like, Oh, no, you know. Again, I was spoiled. So like, I got what I wanted from my dad and if I did it, I would throw a temper tantrum until he did give me what I wanted. So I am there. I forgot Braddy like,

Unknown Speaker 1:00:00
I get what I want buy to have you ever been in a situation sexually where a partner was? I'll take and no give.

Unknown Speaker 1:00:11
No, but I think I've been in a lot of experiences where they weren't, it wasn't really what I wanted. I think the biggest issue was not that he wasn't good. This is a past relationship to that. Not that he wasn't capable of it. It was that I did not communicate what I wanted. I kind of allowed for what to be right. And then I was not that I was like, disappointed, but it definitely wasn't as fulfilling as it could have been. And so I think through those experiences, I've learned, like, you have to communicate with each other You have to talk like, it's not like, oh, how fucking quick can we make this happen? It's like, it should be a fucking experience. Like, this should be a fucking three hour, four hour long event, if you will, like food, I don't know, like, from the from the dinner to leading it into to dancing to fucking whatever, like, it should be an experience. And it's like, do you like this? No, do you do like this? You don't I mean, and like, kind of, it's a exploring, right? It's an exploration if you want to call it that's the way like exploring someone and finding what they like and what they don't like. And then the same for you. What What do I like? What that doesn't feel good? Oh, that's bomb, you know what I mean? So I think that it's an experience more than it's a like a must you like a way I'm fucking down?

Unknown Speaker 1:01:23
Yeah, and I think the one of the best things about being older. I'm, you know, not like super ancient, but I'm 33. And, you know, I lost my virginity when I was 15. So like, from 15 to 33, the things that I'll say now to my partner, and like, tell him what I want, compared to what I definitely would never say back then. Back then is like, night and day, right? So like, you grow into this whole communication thing. Like, yeah, like, you know, you know, what you what you want, but it's hard to say it sometimes. Right? Because it's like, you know, what they might think of a freak or like, yeah, it's just, you know, some people are a little more introvert, you, you said yourself, you're kind of like an introvert, right?

Unknown Speaker 1:02:04
Yes, exactly. And I think that was a very challenging thing for me was to really communicate what I wanted, you know, and how I wanted it, or in the moment, like, this fucking sucks. And instead of, I mean, there's, again, respect, right? So there's a way to say that to the, to the partner, but it's like, I don't really want to hurt his feelings. I mean, this dude thinks he's really doing something great here. Like, let them think that i think that that's important to kind of guide guide someone. And that That, to me, is what kind of makes the sexual experience that much more interesting or fun, because now it's like, Whoa, does this work? Or does this work? And so you kind of get to like, play this little game. And so I think that that the communication to an experience like that, if that's the dream, some people just want the physical penetration, and they you know, that thing, that's cool, too. There's days and times for that as well. But when it comes to like, this beautiful experience that I'm talking about, like, it makes it fun to kind of explore and to try and yeah, I mean trial and error type vibe.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:09
Let's explore the lightning sex round. You know, the lightning six round is?

Unknown Speaker 1:03:23
No. Okay. The

Unknown Speaker 1:03:24
lightning sex round is a segment where I'm going to rattle off either a phrase or one word, and you're just gonna say yes or no. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 1:03:34
are you ready? There's

Unknown Speaker 1:03:34
no, baby.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:36
It's just like, yes, no, go Okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:39
All right. All right. All right. I'm

Unknown Speaker 1:03:41
ready. Okay. Do you dirty talk in bed? Yes. Spank or like to be spanked.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:49
Bang, biting. Yes. choking. Oh, yes. hair pulling. Now, threesomes I want to try watch porn during sex. I can.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:08
Yes. Any foot fetish? No. bodily fluids. No, bondage like ropes or blindfold.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:19
Not yet roleplaying?

Unknown Speaker 1:04:22
Yes. But stuff on you or a partner?

Unknown Speaker 1:04:30
Sometimes, how about sometimes sometimes I'll take it

Unknown Speaker 1:04:32
sex toys.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:35
Yes. ever been to a sex club? No, or a swingers party? No, and then I already know the last one. You're a lingerie lover.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:47
Yes. All right. That was a lightning sex round. Awesome. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 1:04:54
so the next segment is called fuck berry kill

Unknown Speaker 1:05:05
One marry one kill one go. I think we're done. We're done. We're done. Have

Unknown Speaker 1:05:09
you heard of it?

Unknown Speaker 1:05:11
No. Okay, I'm

Unknown Speaker 1:05:12
gonna give you It's gonna be fun. I'm gonna give you three names. And you got to choose which one you want to fuck. Which one? Which one you want to marry which one you want to kill.

Unknown Speaker 1:05:23
Ah, okay. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 1:05:24
so my creative associates, Dan and pat Kenny. They always help me come up with the funny ones. And so your theme is long haired men. Are you ready?

Unknown Speaker 1:05:36
I'm ready.

Unknown Speaker 1:05:37
I don't even know if you'd like long hair. Do you like long hair?

Unknown Speaker 1:05:41
Yeah, I think it's kind of cool. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:05:43
I don't. So, Brian Ortega. Elias butcher his last name. Okay. The theodoro and Jorge mas Ba da. So those three guys, Brian Ortega. Elias the durrow. Jorge mas have it all.

Unknown Speaker 1:06:04
In so I got to pick Fuck, marry or kill. Yep. Man, this is such an interesting, okay. Okay, Brian Ortega. Let's say, Mary. Hey, Brian. I'm Theodore. Right. That's Nick theater. Elias. He is the

Unknown Speaker 1:06:30
the fighter. Yeah, the ring the ring card boy.

Unknown Speaker 1:06:36
Yeah, I am so like a terrible name. Let's say fuck. Okay. You're gonna kill Jorge.

Unknown Speaker 1:06:50
Someone's gotta go. It's okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:06:53
Go Oh, shit. Okay, now we're in a tough one. Okay, no, can't kill him. We can't kill him. Then it's gonna have to be that I love I love. I love life. Sorry, I just gotta you gotta go.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:04
Okay, so we're gonna kill Elias. Marry Brian, and fuck Jorge.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:09
Yeah, we could do that. Okay, congratulations.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:14
All right, so the next segment is called fan questions. It's just questions from the fans crossed. Off. To personalized to you Perl. You're ready.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:32
Ready? Okay,

Unknown Speaker 1:07:33
there were a lot like I have a list in front of me right now. That's

Unknown Speaker 1:07:38
some some are weird. You know, some are some are better than others. But uh, Alright, here we go. At canterville wants to know, do you like your feet kissed?

Unknown Speaker 1:07:50
Do I like my feet? Kiss? Sure.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:53
There's a lot of guys that listen to this show? He said sure.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:01
Yeah, okay. All right. All right. So this guy can sink your feet. So that's got to be one of those mutual agreements where like, I am not reciprocating and kissing your feet. Oh, all right. So

Unknown Speaker 1:08:12
only your feet can be kissed? You're not gonna kiss his feet. I think you do. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:18
Okay, okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:19
Okay at to hit wonder wants to know Chicago deep dish pizza or San Diego. San Diego style burrito.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:27
Oh my god. deep dish pizza all day. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:32
Anthony m BR wants to know, have you ever had a devil's threesome?

Unknown Speaker 1:08:39
What the fuck is a double?

Unknown Speaker 1:08:42
It's a male, male female. As opposed to two chicks and a guy.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:49
No, I don't think that's my vibe. Like my we talked about is me and Yachty and yeah, he was like, dude, that'd be so hot. Imagine too fucking hot as guys all over. You're like, yeah, I guess. But now that's not my vibe.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:01
Yeah, you seem like you want to take your time and just be the very central that might be just too much going on.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:07

Unknown Speaker 1:09:10
At D Ferrera says, Ask pearl How come she doesn't have an only fans, she would make a lot of money. And her pictures are pretty much what people want on only fans anyway.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:23
You know, I don't agree with that. Yes, my pictures are sexy. But they're there. I don't think that they're only fans material. I think that with only fans. It's a you create a story and you create this very intimate story with with people so that they feel very intimate with you. And I as we talked about earlier, like I I like to keep some of my life personal and very personal to me. So for that reason, I don't I don't want to only fans because of that reason.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:56
Yeah, and this is probably This podcast is probably the most You know, what's the word like? Just like? Not it's very poor. This podcast is very personal. So I thank you for opening up and putting your personal life out there.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:12
Yes, this is I have I have never been this intimate. publicly in great. Yeah. And so yeah, but you know, I really love what you're doing. I think that I hope that I can inspire or help someone else. I mean, yeah, of course, I my fans want to know this. And I'm glad that they get to hear this. But I also hope that I can help someone with with my story.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:35
Yeah, I think I mean, this next question. Okay, well, I think, let me transition. So at just faith wants to know, my question for Miss Gonzalez is, what's her motivation? What gives her the drive to wake up every day and step into the cage? Like this question alone, is very inspiring. So what what motivates you?

Unknown Speaker 1:10:59
You know, it, it's a lot of my life has been one, it started with just wanting to get out of the hood. Like, God, I saw everybody around me, my friends are going to jail. They were dying or getting shot, like, you know, it was drugs, like it was just so much my family, there's so much drugs in my family, like, I just wanted better. And I didn't know what that was, I wanted better. And I think that that was the start of my drive was to want better, right. And then I started to see better and live better. And then I would start to even feel like I'm not ashamed. But I felt bad that I was living this, this better life than my family. And so then it transitioned to my family and wanting to set the tone and set the bar for my family. I've got so many nieces and little cousins back home, that I want to show them like you can do anything you want to do. Not only that, this is what I've accomplished, you got to raise the fucking bar, and you've got to do better, you've got to be more than I am. And so that was that. And I would say as of the last year, it's kind of transition. transitioned even from that, to like, now this is for me today. My Drive and motivation is for me. It's for all I've been through for all the pain for all the struggles and suffering, man I fucking deserve. I deserve to live a good life. I deserve my success. I've always worked hard now it's time to cash in on that work, and get what I deserve. And it's for me today, you know, I don't have a partner to behind me. I don't have my daddy anymore. This is for me. So I would say today my drive is is is for me.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:36
That's awesome. Yeah, you're leaving your legacy pros legacy. And you're setting an amazing example for all your nieces and family members as well.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:44
Thank you.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:45
So the last question is, who would you like to hear on sex and violence next?

Unknown Speaker 1:12:54
Who would I like to hear? Anyone? Good one. So many good people. I was like, holy shit you that everybody? already. I feel like all the people that I wanted. How about Rachel? Have you talked to Rachel? Yeah. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:13:13
Rachel, we did a signing in Vegas like a few weeks ago. And it's so funny. She's like, Oh, my dad, he has a gym. It's called Jesus is Lord. I'm like, I get it. I'm trying to get her on the show. But I feel like you know, her family's real religious and stuff like that. So I'm like, just don't show him the podcast. But I would love to have Rachel on the podcast. All right, Rachel, if you're listening,

Unknown Speaker 1:13:41
yeah, Rachel and Paige, like Paige. She's got such a great relationship with her husband and they've just been posting this whole week. He's fucking fire as sexy as photos. So like, I'd love to hear a little bit from her. You know, like a little bit more intimate.

Unknown Speaker 1:13:56
Yeah, I would love to actually talk to her. I would like to do kind of like a joint because I've had partners on I've had Amanda know who did have Raquel and Tisha and then we had Tim Elliott and Gina masani. So like couples come on, sometimes I would love to have her and her husband's name is Austin. Maybe?

Unknown Speaker 1:14:17
Yeah, Austin.

Unknown Speaker 1:14:19
Yeah. Austin. So yeah, it would be nice to have them on. Well, that's it. Pearl. Thank you so much for being on the show. And obviously, we're gonna be tuning in to watch your Invicta fight and that's November 20 20th. And is that going to be streamed or on any channels anywhere?

Unknown Speaker 1:14:38
Yes, November 20. It's live on UFC fight pass.

Unknown Speaker 1:14:43
Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. And then Where can we find you on all your social medias?

Unknown Speaker 1:14:48
You can find me at progams Eilis is typically where you can you can just search problems out that problem solvers. And then also I just I also started doing a podcast for a fight pass. It's called extra rounds. It's right after the UFC fights on Saturday night, and I talk about the fights and hang out live so you can come check me out there as well. That's awesome. I

Unknown Speaker 1:15:09
can't wait to check that out. Okay, well train hard girl and I can't wait for you to be single and get out there and hear all your stories.

Unknown Speaker 1:15:18
like crazy. Crazy. Crazy experiences me kill for Netflix in my head. Okay, I gotta I gotta go there in my head. Alright, girl, talk

Unknown Speaker 1:15:27
to you soon.

Unknown Speaker 1:15:29
Yes, good luck in your camp too. I wish you a very safe, healthy, you know, just plentiful, like a very strong camp for you as well. Thank you for having me.

Unknown Speaker 1:15:39
No problem. Talk to you soon. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:15:46
gave it to me.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:06

Unknown Speaker 1:16:07
bring it back. Like she loves to bring it back like

Unknown Speaker 1:16:10
she loves. You heard it here, guys. Like pearl said, Don't let anyone set limitations on you, including yourself. Keep your head up. I know we're still in a pandemic. But some of you are in hard places financially. Well, most of us are in hard places financially. Some of you own small businesses and I feel like you guys have it the worst. Or maybe the parents. You guys, I don't know if kids are back to school, but I empathize and can't even imagine what you guys are going through. These are tough times. But you're a bunch of tough motherfuckers as Uncle Joey would say. If you don't know Uncle Joey seriously, go check them out. Joey's joint, he is the most motivational, real ex con that you will ever listen to. So keep kicking ass guys. It's 2020 and we can do it. I'll do the same and I'll meet you guys back here next week for more tales of deviant sex experiences. Thank you guys for tuning in again and for all your fan questions. Special thank you to our audio engineer DJ zl at DJ zol tomorrow kids studio at tomorrow kids official. You can find us on Instagram at sex and violence with rebel girl and myself at Ashley MMA. Subscribe to this podcast and tune in next week to hear more tales of sex and violence.

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