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Episode 23: Heather "The Heat" Hardy

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and violence.

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Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl, where we interview top level MMA fighters and other experts in their field about love, dating, romance. And that's all too taboo subject.

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I'm your host, Ashley, Rebel girl, Evan Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence. What's

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happening the hot stuff? What's up all you sexual deviance. Thanks for listening to your favorite podcast with your favorite very intrusive, but entertaining interviews. If MMA and TMI had a baby, it would be this podcast sex and violence with rebel girl. So I am six weeks out from my fight date. training has been going pretty good. But all fight camps are pretty much a roller coaster of emotions and injuries and whatnot. If you know, you know, if you don't, then you'll never get it. But I wish I could tell you more specifics of what's going on in this fight camp. But, you know, you can't give away all your secrets when you're preparing for war. So I'll be able to tell you in a little bit more detail after the fight, how this camp went. Lots of bumps and bruises and camps, but we never give up, stay positive and professional show up and fight. And I know you know, regardless of what happens, the last few weeks of my camp are always the best. I always get the most confidence from the training that I've been putting in and you know, I always have butterflies before the fight because if you don't, then you probably don't give a shit that you're about to fight in front of millions of people but it's more of like still butterflies but um, like a calm excitement and you just know that all the work that you put in is going to pay off. So with that said, you know, if you six more weeks of camp, I'll keep you guys updated. That fight is November 28. You guys can watch on ESPN. Plus, since we're still a no ticket no crowd sport. I really fucking hope that we get back to crowds but who knows? I think that there's actually in California at least there's beings there spikes have more cases of COVID so Fuck my life. The elections coming up. So I feel like right before I fight, you know, fight is November 28. Like the world is gonna be just fucking bananas, you know, with the election, and spikes and COVID and whatever else you know everyone has going on. So anyway, that makes for an interesting life. But yeah, the UFC is holding fights every weekend of October. Last weekend, were awesome fights this weekend. If you guys are not a fan, man, you probably don't know. But if you are even the smallest MMA fan, you know that could be and just in case you're fighting tomorrow it is in Abu Dhabi. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 3:26
it's in hava. Thank you. DJs. Oh, it's in Abu Dhabi. One of the last fights over there. I think they're going to finish up probably on Halloween. With that. Anderson Silva versus your hall fight, which I heard Anderson Silva that's going to be his last fight of his career, which is such an amazing opportunity for your right haul. Regardless win or lose. You know, he got to fight he got to be the last fight for Anderson Silva. So just iconic, legendary, but we're getting ahead of ourselves first tomorrow night. Check in, check out just engaging versus could be the rest of the fight card is fire as well. We're gonna watch Cynthia ko vo are sex and violence with rebel girl family face Lauren Murphy, but she's out the COVID gutter. She got the Rona but so we're wishing her lots of health and hopefully she can get in the cage very soon. still gonna be a good fight. I don't know who Lauren Murphy is fighting. Lauren Murphy has been very lucky as her nickname states. She's been getting the you know, the judges call in a couple split decision type situations. So good for her. Maybe she will get a finished tomorrow. Who knows. And lastly, we have big news. Those sex and violence rebel girl shirts are in. You guys can hit us up on social media if you would like one, only 30 shirts. So first come first serve. Send us your size and an address that you would like get shipped to. We're only going to be doing domestic right now. So you international listeners so sorry, but we will have some coming soon. And if you want some stickers, we still got a couple left of those. So read a review, screenshot it, send it to the Instagram, and we'll get you a sticker out. All right, let's talk to our guest. Today's guest is a multiple weight class WBC champion, who featherweight champion and our first boxer turned MMA fighter on sex and violence. She's also the first female signed to a long term promotion with dibella Entertainment. first female to box at the Barclays Center. first female fight aired on network TV in over 25 years, and the second female fight ever aired on HBO boxing in over 40 years. She is a bad mother, you know what, and a real mother as well. She's got a history any child would be proud of. And as an athlete and advocate for sexual assault victims, she continues to make history as she uses her struggles as fuel to reach her goals. We talk about nicknaming fuckboys how her vibrator saved her life. lesbians who love dick, how you get the pussy. You deserve hence so much more. Here is your guest, Heather the heat hearty.

Unknown Speaker 6:40
All right, we have Heather hardy on thank you so much for being on the show. Heather, how are you?

Unknown Speaker 6:46
Thanks for having me. I'm doing well. And you're so

Unknown Speaker 6:49
good. It's six o'clock here in California. And I know it's three hours ahead in New York. So thank you so much for doing the show. Even though it's late, probably bedtime for me. I'm in fight mode. So I would normally be almost asleep by now. I don't know what you have going on. Are you in camp at all?

Unknown Speaker 7:07
No, I'm not in anything. Right now. I'm just working in momming doing all that stuff. So I'm cool to talk for a bit.

Unknown Speaker 7:13
Cool. Okay. Yeah, you're working in your mom. And I know you're a personal trainer. Yeah. Awesome. So what about fighting? I mean, I know your last fight was back in 2019. Given the state of the world, I'm assuming you haven't fought because the pandemic but if you don't have anything lined up right now, could you tell me why and when you think you might fight?

Unknown Speaker 7:37
Sure. So when march was rolling around, I was looking into join a friend Joanna Marinovich for the WBC 126 poundworld title. And there was also some talk about me fighting a girl named back from who called me out in in bellator. So it was like kind of exciting. Two things were going on same time. We're made contact with Jelena. There was a bunch of social media buzz about that girl back. I forget her last name. Rawlings. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 8:08
Oh, I bought her.

Unknown Speaker 8:10
Yeah, so like, there was a bunch of talk about that. And then the world shut off. And it was like, Oh, God, you know, and, and I'm a single mom. So like, I went into like, you know, survival mode and just dove right into training people and how can I make money? And how can I teach boxing and just doing what I can to keep the rent paid and my kid fed so I probably was like, a month or two ago that the calls started coming in like that there was some boxing in the UK and some stuff is starting to go on. But gyms in New York like didn't open until a month ago. So I didn't even touch a boxing ring, a cage anything for five months. So I'm way way f shape.

Unknown Speaker 8:52
Yeah. And I mean, it's understandable. Like he's like you said New York, they were probably the last to open up. I know California was on the later end as well. And then you have a child. So it's like you have your health has to come first. So you don't want to train it around other people and take the the risk of giving you know your kid COVID or passing it to whoever else you're living with. So totally understandable. Now that things are opening up a little bit. Do you have like a estimated timeframe when you'd like to get back in the in the cage? I mean, I know you said you're out of shape. So you got to give yourself a full fight camp. But

Unknown Speaker 9:28
what if it's a little bit more than that, you know, like like boxing and fighting is kind of a dirty industry, right? So people are kind of looking at New York fighters as targets. It's like, they haven't been training in a while and they're broke. So the same world title fight that I was negotiating in March, they offered me the same thing for a third of the price thinking like, well, she's going to lose, she hasn't been training six weeks away. We're going to offer her garbage money. So I'm thinking that I'm gonna really have to wait for the market to come back around. where things are getting back to normal and people like our knowing fighters worth, because I'm kind of at the age where you're not going to offer me garbage money and think I'm gonna sacrifice my body, my time, my, my finances at home to fight for nothing, you know,

Unknown Speaker 10:16
yeah, that's a smart and that's how you can tell that you've been in the game a minute because a lot of writers will be like, I really need the money, you know, an opportunity, like this might not come around. And we both know that, you know, it's it's much better to kind of see, like you said, see the value in yourself and know the value of fighters. And unfortunately, some organizations, they treat the fighters well, and other organizations don't treat them as well. We won't name name organizations, but I don't know if you have a management company, but I hope if you do, they're really negotiating hard for you because I can't believe they would offer you a third, knowing the situation, you know, like, Well,

Unknown Speaker 10:59
you know, boxing is a lot different than MMA. I mean, being both of sports at the higher level, I mean, given and I never fought for a title for MMA, but being on those belzer shows at Madison Square Garden when it's done. Those are big shows, like I, I would put myself in like a higher bracket of MMA fight like certainly not on the stage that you bought at but like being in both arenas, under both sports. Boxing is, is it's apples and oranges, man, like, like they had no problem offering you 15 grand to do a 10 round world title fight.

Unknown Speaker 11:35
so crazy.

Unknown Speaker 11:36
Crazy is not the word. I mean, so I was like, Yo, I'm not even going on a diet for that.

Unknown Speaker 11:45
That's why I love grappling. That's my background. I actually have definitely fallen in love with striking more the last couple years. But people ask me like, why don't you do more grappling tournaments. And I'm like, I'm not cutting weight for peanuts. You know? Like, that's really

Unknown Speaker 11:59
what it comes down to. But like people always ask me why I switched over to MMA. And it's like, you know, fans hate to hear that we do things for the money, but my heart is in boxing, but I don't do it for fun.

Unknown Speaker 12:12
Yeah, I mean, there's some people where it's a little heavier on one end than the others. Some people really do it for the money. And some people really do it because they love the sport, you know, they could have a million dollars and they'd still fight. You know, if I had $18 I don't know, I might do something less detrimental to my body, honestly. But I still love the sport. It doesn't mean I don't love the sport. But I know there are people out there that are like, if I had a million dollars, I would still fight I'm like, Well, okay, let's go for you. Yeah, and you know, you're you're a mom, and I'm not a mom. So I always I can only put myself in your your shoes and imagine what it's like to provide for a child. And then also put your body on the line. When you have a child afterwards. Like I, I just have me and my dog and that's about it. So if I'm beat up and you know, on crutches, like I just look at my dog and I'm like, you know, you're so well, buddy, but you still have to, you know, put well actually how sorry, how old is your daughter?

Unknown Speaker 13:13
My daughter is 16 so like I you know, I've been fighting for 10 years. So it's really become part of her life that she's just used to mommy comes home from training sometimes crying sometimes, like sometimes and then being sometimes in bed. She knows that his mom needs a nap. But you're not gonna single mom for the entire my entire career. So she's been on this journey, like as my kind of CO partner.

Unknown Speaker 13:37
I so I did my research on you. And I'm super inspired makes me want to go out and train after I watch interviews. And I watched your short film, which was amazing. Thank you. Yeah, it's just called Heather Hardy, right? So if anyone wants to check it out, just Google movie Heather, the heat Hardy. It's it's awesome and inspiring. But I was realizing that you you had this amazing story before you start fighting. But then when you start fighting, it's like, if things weren't hard enough, you just basically, could you walk us through your transition from being a mother and going into fighting? Like how did how did that start? I know you had your kid back in 2010 is that correct?

Unknown Speaker 14:21
I my daughter 2004 four. I started fighting in 2010. I was going through a divorce. I had been with my husband since I was 14 years old. So I was coming out of the 16 year relationship and going through a divorce and I kind of I live with my sister and I was kind of like the dad and she was like the mom we were two single moms. No Child Support hustling to support our two kids. And one day she surprised me with a gift certificate to a karate school. And within three weeks of taking like these little fitness classes, I they were like Do you want to try fight? I was like okay, like, I have And then tons of ice in my life. Sounds like Yeah, cool. And I my first fight and I won. And at 28 years old, it was the first time I ever felt like I was good at something. And I felt like, wow, this could be the avenue that I take to get out of Gerritsen beach to get out of my neighborhood to give my daughter better life to start over. And from that moment, I just said, Whatever it takes, I'm going to get it done. And I really didn't breathe until I got it done.

Unknown Speaker 15:29
Yeah, I 28 It's so funny. Because the first thing I think, just because so many people get on me about my age. I'm 33. Now I started fighting when I was 23. And I even at 23. I remember thinking, Oh, no, like, I'm so old. Because there's, you know, you see it now. And you're just like, dang, like, what would? What would I be like if I started at 18? Like some of these young girls are doing now? Did you ever think back when you started at 28? That it was like, ah, like, it's too late for me? Or did you have?

Unknown Speaker 16:02
Well, I did think that because I mean physically think like, wow, how much more ground I could have covered and not so much that my body was more able more that I had more time to practice that, right? Like, like you had girls practice and stuff for 10 years before I even tried it. Like imagine I was working on my job for 10 more years. So it's never really like that my body wasn't ready. It was just that I wasted so much time not doing this and not knowing this was here. So that always kind of stuck with me like what could I have been had I started this in high school or had I been exposed to this a little bit sooner. But I mean, I think that everything happens for a reason for sure. And part of my drive came from the knowledge that I brought with me to 28 years old to realize that I got to do this now I don't have a lot of time. My knowledge in business and marketing and in everything comes with it. Because let's be honest, like I really I'm a good fighter at the time. I wasn't the best fighter. But I was so friggin smart. Because I knew the business of boxing. I learned the ins and outs, and I figured out how to make my way. Yeah, right. There's Everybody knows that.

Unknown Speaker 17:09
There's, there's definitely a benefit to getting into the sport later in life because you you don't have those miles physically on your body. So you could you're basically a mature athlete who still has to learn the skills. But you know, you remember how silly and immature we were 18 or 21. And then now I'm like, okay, given the choices that I have now, taking these big fights, negotiating contracts, making these decisions for myself. I'm like, Ah, I'm actually a little happier that I got into the sport later. So, but I can understand. Yeah, I still even now I'm like, Oh, am I getting old for the hang it up? And I'm like, No, no, it's all about how you feel physically. And obviously, emotionally and mentally. You said something that stuck with me. And I'm when I was doing my research, I kept coming up. And it's something that your mother told you. She said, Everything happens for a reason. Am I correct?

Unknown Speaker 18:06
Yeah, my mama told me everything. My mom is one of those moms who read a book on the shed. She told me she's still around. Yeah, sometimes, unfortunately. But yeah.

Unknown Speaker 18:17
She sounds like an awesome lady. And so another thing that we can take into our sport, if we start later in life, is all the experiences that we had outside the cages, well, you know, I didn't have the best upbringing with my family, we didn't have a lot of money. There wasn't any abuse, sexual or violence or anything like that. But there's a lot of neglect. So I had to grow up and kind of adult very soon and, but I really think that helped me when I got into fighting because I had kind of hardened for lack of a better phrase. And I just couldn't take any shit whether it was outside the cage or inside the cage. And what I'm seeing with you, you've gone through a lot of things your life before you started fighting, I feel like maybe you benefited. Because you're such kind of like this tough, hard nosed New Yorker, you know, Mama Bear, and then you know, you've really done a lot of amazing things in 10 years. Do you feel like you that was a benefit as well.

Unknown Speaker 19:16
Um, I think that we're all a product of our experiences. And I think that when things traumatic happen, whether they're trying traumatic emotional scarring, triggering, you can go one of two ways. You can use it as an excuse to remain stagnant, or you can use it as a fuel to kind of drive you to do amazing things. And I just was really fortunate that my spirit fueled me to want better, and I really believe it was having my daughter and knowing that I don't want her to face the same kind of fate than I did. I wanted her to have different opportunities. Part of my my like we just talked about being 28 before I found martial arts, I was 28 before I found martial arts because I lived in a neighborhood that really didn't have extracurricular activities outside of boys playing baseball girls playing soccer, and the occasional you know, softball league, like if it was a pickup, there weren't sports, there wasn't after school activities. I didn't learn languages. I didn't learn art. They weren't music. And I wanted all that for my daughter so that by the time she was 20, she knew what she was passionate about.

Unknown Speaker 20:21
Yeah, that's, that's unfortunate. I'm from a very small town. But you're from a you're from New York. What what area are you speaking specifically?

Unknown Speaker 20:29
I'm from Brooklyn. I live in Brooklyn, New York. But Brooklyn has a lot of different neighborhoods. So you can be in fancy Brooklyn, being scared, Brooklyn is important. My Brooklyn where I grew up is mostly second and third generation Irish immigrants who are working class lower to working class. And I don't know if you know, Irish people, but Irish people are very proud. You'll have working class Irish people, lower class Irish people, saying we're not lower class, we're middle class, while they're working three jobs to pay the bills and have holes in their sweatpants. You know, I grew up. We're very proud people proud people who swear that they're not struggling. And they really are. And I was very fortunate to recognize that and not want it for my own child. That's great. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 21:15
So. So forgive me, I'm still new and interviewing. You know, this is Episode 22. So I know saying

Unknown Speaker 21:23
sorry. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 21:26
Okay, I tiptoe around questions sometimes. Because I'm always like, I just want to be so sensitive. And I'm like, Okay, one trauma that I know you went through, and it's public knowledge, but I'm still over here. Like, we've never talked about it on the podcast. But it's, it's something that should be talked about, because unfortunately, it's extremely common. And I want to talk about it because I feel like there's a lot of males and females out there who have experienced it, but don't know what to do. And I'm speaking about sexual assault, specifically rape. You went through something at a young age? And could you just give us some of the details surrounding What happened to you?

Unknown Speaker 22:05
Sure. So I think it's more important to learn about the effects of it than really the details. I mean, yes, I was raped, I was very young, I was drugged by someone twice my age, I thought I was cool. I smoked a joint that was laced, I was completely unconscious. And that was taken advantage of against my Well, someone well known in the neighborhood. I grew up, like I said, in a very low lower class, like, community type setting where everybody knew each other, everyone's mom would go to the doctor together, play, then go together, go to like church together, you know. So I know this guide. My family knew this parent, my father bartended. With this guy, it was like, How did this happen to me? And you walk away with it? at a time at that time, it was probably the early 90s. where nobody talks about it. It was it was shame. It was, what did I do wrong? Why did this happen to me? I'm so stupid, everyone will be so disappointed. And it's because nobody talks about it right. And I can't remember being like, maybe 12 or 13. And I was watching Oprah as dumb as it sounds. And Oprah did one of her first shows where she came out about being sexually assaulted as a kid. And I might cry, so bear with me. But to this day, I remember her looking at the camera. And she said, I'm talking to you. This is not your shame. This is his shame. This is not your fault. It's his fault. And don't ever think it's because of you. Because it happened to me and Look who I am. And I just broke down that day. Wow. It happened to Oprah. And I was years later, like with the metoo movement, that I really felt a part of something when I realized how many women were sharing the shame, sharing the secret sharing this, this pain, this fear, you know, like this, this awful thing that went to bed with you every night and woke up with you every morning and took itself into every relationship you had. So when I became a pro, and I started having a microphone in front of me, I just thought of how relieved I felt when I heard Oprah say it. And I felt like, Okay, I have a microphone. It's my responsibility to because there are so many little girls. Were looking at me wanting to be me, and not knowing how broken I am.

Unknown Speaker 24:28
Yeah, I I love that. Oprah was the person that got you to start reeling. Okay, but I'm sure that there was a lot of other things that had to happen. Or maybe still to this day, like are happening. My question really is, besides watching Oprah, how did you how did you? How did you heal? You know, I mean,

Unknown Speaker 24:50
we didn't I really didn't in the 90s like, you have no sound like you're 32 I'm 38 And while it's like oh my god, you're only 16 a lot of years in turn. A time in terms of high school development and, and how people were talking like, like when I was a kid, nobody talks about this shit and everybody follows your father, like, like, I'm gonna say something's gonna be super controversial. But I remember telling a friend like, Hey, did you watch that Jeffrey, Jeffrey Epstein doc like on Netflix? And she was like, Hell no, it's too triggering. That was literally my childhood. And it was like, fuck relatable. Because guys got away with that stuff. They did that stuff, that stuff wasn't considered sexual assault. So it really wasn't until recently, and it keeps kind of developing, like you keep like, this process of healing is like consistent, constant over time thing. When you're like, Oh, shit, remember that? That wasn't cool, man. That wasn't even my fault.

Unknown Speaker 25:48
Yeah, I'm sure there are different triggers, triggers, you know, obviously something like watching, you know, the Epstein a documentary definitely triggering, but there's probably triggers that are you know, maybe you're drinking a cup of coffee, and there was, you know, coffee there. And it just makes you flashback to that situation. I can't even imagine I just know that small things can be triggering for for traumas. And, you know, I'm thinking about the people listening to this who have gone through this, or maybe, you know, unfortunately, knock on wood, you know, might go through this, what would you say the most important thing to do is after something like this happens to you,

Unknown Speaker 26:27
I think that it's a constant reminder that it's not your fault. I mean, one thing that we got to take away from the me to movement and the Bernie many survivors that came and spoke out about it, is the years that they spent in isolation, feeling like, wow, I really fucked up. I shouldn't have gone there that night, shouldn't have had that much to drink. I shouldn't have wore that outfit. I shouldn't have been in that situation, right? Like we beat ourselves up. And we were taught to because we're taught that. That's how boys that and I think that this generation of girls is really like, taking no shit like, I'm a coach. So I teach a lot of girls who are 19 2021 I've never met a bigger group of man haters. Kids today, my daughter is a complete social anarchists. I mean, I don't think anybody will ever get over my kids. I think there's just so much more knowledge and education out there. Now, my advice would be to the people, to the women, maybe an older generations, who hasn't heard this yet, who doesn't know that? It's not your fault. Felt you? So every day?

Unknown Speaker 27:30
Yeah, that's awesome. You're right. I remember not really our generation, maybe like a little bit like our mother's or grandmother's generation. But when something like this happen, you'd always see on TV or movies like, oh, what was she wearing up that short skirt? You know, and just like, in like, nowadays, it's something completely different. There's a lot of, you know, feminism, there's a lot of talk about, you know, my body, my choice, just, you know, all these kind of women's rights slogan, floating around. And even though I think we have So, so far to go, we have come a very far, a very long way. And you're right, it's probably you know, our generation or the older generations, with the old way of thinking that need to, to remind themselves constantly, if this did happen to you that it's not your fault. So, because this happened, you know, kinda like my last question. That's this topic, but it must have some effect on how you date today. If it does, what goes on? How do you navigate that? I mean, it's gonna be a lifelong trauma. Most likely, unless, you know, you work on it. But uh, Does that ever play a role in how you date? Or when you first start going out with men? Anything like that?

Unknown Speaker 28:47
Oh, for sure. I'm definitely like one of those damaged broken girls. You know, like, I know, we really are. I think that having a profession as a female fighter, because it's in a different kind of category when it comes to paid ability. But I don't I never really thought about whether or not that that kind of trauma affects my, my date, like, because I've had so much other trauma that I can certainly pinpoint my fucked up witness to.

Unknown Speaker 29:18
What do you mean other trauma, like, just through through fighting,

Unknown Speaker 29:21
or I mean, just in general, like, like, everyone has their own shit, right? Like, I'm like, and I think that it's even hard. Like, first of all, I'm not really a data like I was with someone for 10 years. So I'm like, super, super fresh angle. And I'm kind of afraid to date I've never really dated before. So I don't know that I'm even gonna be good at answering this question.

Unknown Speaker 29:43
You did. You're doing great. So I mean, your status right now you're single. And obviously you're, you know, your daughter's number one priority, but sometimes people are just so busy. They're like, I'm single. I just want to stay single, or are you single, but just haven't met the right guy. Because it's fucking 2020 pandemic and it's impossible to date.

Unknown Speaker 30:04
Well, I think that I'm not really like part of this 2020 hookup culture, you know, like, like nobody dates really it's like such hookup culture. And it's like, it seems like and I only know this, like I said, like, I'm new single I'm not date single, but I would have all my friends and it's like, oh shit, he was married, oh my god, he can see that, you know, like, and it's just that guys just kind of want to hook up. And I think that I'm like a hopeless romantic and the CEO of like toxic hookup culture. So I'm kind of like, hopeless, like, Am I gonna find someone?

Unknown Speaker 30:37
No, you're not hopeless. It's definitely like a new generation of laziness. You know, I always talk to my girlfriends about how I'm so impressed when a guy actually comes up to me at a restaurant or a bar and does it the old fashioned way, like walks up and says a compliment and ask for your phone number. It never happens anymore. But when it does, I'm like blown away because especially the newer generation, they just want to slide into your DMS, you know, some one liners or come Netflix and chill. And it's just like, that's that and, you know, maybe it's us, we're a little bit older, or our standards are just a little bit higher. Not saying I haven't Netflix and chill before, but

Unknown Speaker 31:21
I mean, this is what it's for you like you have like little windows of what you want. But I think like I'm at an age where I know what I want. And I don't want what I don't want anymore. And it's like, it's like you said like so many people are like, why are you single so many guys want? You know, so many guys want to fuck me now? is a

Unknown Speaker 31:39
very Yeah. Is

Unknown Speaker 31:42
that has that been an issue in the past? If you've dated, and they're like, Oh, you have a kid has it been? How's that come up?

Unknown Speaker 31:49
I have like I said, I had a boyfriend for 10 years. And we were kind of on and off. So of course there were like some guys in between. But I mean, I basically just went after guys who I knew were emotionally unavailable because I was kind of like we call them 10 year guys, like my friends will come like oh you and 10 year guy, you know, because I was so attached to the fact that this guy was eventually going to want to settle down and then I was like, Man, I'm not getting any older. I got new wrinkles. My hair is getting gray.

Unknown Speaker 32:19
That's so funny. You have nicknames me and my friend Carla, my best friend. She'll be like, remember,

Unknown Speaker 32:24
remember tall guy? Remember? I'm sure we have. Yeah, your guy. We got a guy we call Skechers. He wore fucking Skechers was like my friend. Cuz

Unknown Speaker 32:37
this guy was just kind of like a one night stand for her. But he was just wearing a corny sweatshirt that had like a lifeguard symbol. But forever. We're like remember lifeguard guy like

Unknown Speaker 32:47
Yeah, yeah, we got a guy we got a scooter for no reason. I mean, it's just really weird. I guess all girls do it. Yeah, like funny. Like, Oh, shit. You know, I had fun today.

Unknown Speaker 32:58
I'm sure guys are like remember titz McGee or remember big bloody mouth?

Unknown Speaker 33:03
Red lips. Yeah, exactly.

Unknown Speaker 33:07
Well, I mean, so you're newly single, you know, you're, all of us are in this kind of weird. What's going to happen next mode, but what would you like to happen next? Would you like to, you know, start dating like someone who's serious, obviously. I know. You and I both sister like 33. You know, you're 38 It's not like we're old ladies. But we're not looking for fuckboys anymore. So yeah, What's your ideal?

Unknown Speaker 33:31
Your ideal mate right now? What's he look like? Oh, stable job.

Unknown Speaker 33:37
That's like number one. Like, I'm not looking for nobody to take care of me. But I got to know you can take care of your where you are with that shirt. That ship done sale. Yeah, you know, like, I would love a stable job. I was joking with somebody there that said, we don't look for boys at my age. I'm not looking for no six pack. No fucking none of that. Like I look at you and I'm like, shit. I bet he got health insurance.

Unknown Speaker 34:05
I'll see in two weeks of paid vacation. Right?

Unknown Speaker 34:10
Like, like I really am. I'm not looking for Netflix and chill. I don't want to fuck boy. I don't want no pop in pop out kind of guy. Like I require a lot of tension. I'm fucking needy. I want some to be like, baby. I love you. Let's watch a movie in order pizza. You know what I'm saying? Let's go on vacation. Yeah. You know what? I'm at a time in my life right now. Where if you don't want to give it to me, I don't want you to waste my fucking time. I will hang out with my best friends and my vibrator and I'm fine.

Unknown Speaker 34:41
Yeah, I mean, I I honestly feel like the days for playing games, or putting up with shit. Or waiting for the three day fucking text or call back. They're over. They're like, Alright, yeah. If you don't show me that you want to be here or hang out with me. I'm gone. And so I

Unknown Speaker 34:57
yeah, but I'll be honest, like, like, you know, like, you post a picture and then all of a sudden you got 78 guys in your dams. Yo, what's up? Hey, remember, we talked in 2016? But Bro, I know what I'm saying like, I like I don't I always was so worried to tell people I was single because the minute they hear that you ain't got a man. That's what everybody want to talk to you but I can't reiterate. I can't overstate this enough. I am not looking for a fuck boy. I am not. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 35:28
no one is really, unless I know

Unknown Speaker 35:30
what some people are. There's nothing wrong with that. Some people are just looking to go out and have fun. Chill, no commitment. That's not me. Leave me alone.

Unknown Speaker 35:40
That's true. So, okay, you say you want him to have a shit together? And definitely, you know, a good baseline. But what about looks? Are you? You know, you said no six pack, but does it help if he's into, you know if he's an athlete, or no, no, not

Unknown Speaker 35:57
at all.

Unknown Speaker 35:58
I mean, I'm oddly attracted to guys who can box that's not not at all. You know, but it's not because of anything other than it's just to me like you're an MMA fighter, you say your background is interested. So it's probably your passion. And my passion is boxing. To me boxing is so beautiful. Like, I'm not even in good shape. And last week, I lined up all my students and beat them up one afternoon. And I had so much fun, like it like is my passion. So when I see someone that's good at it, or even like trying, it's just it's so attractive to me. I'm not really into looks like superficial like that. And I know a lot of women say that. But if you look at my dating history, you'd be like, Man, this person, okay?

Unknown Speaker 36:46
You really don't care.

Unknown Speaker 36:47
I mean, I we've talked about this a lot on the podcast. And I always ask this question to fighters, because it's not about old fighters, date fighters. It's you date someone that has a shared passion. So musicians tend to date musicians, artists tend to date artists, you know, writers tend to date writers, because when you're so passionate about someone, if you can come home at the end of the day, and talk about what you love, I mean, I feel like that's where the spark starts. That's for me, I'm guilty of dated my share of people in the same industry, unfortunately, and we're told as women not to do that, because you'll lose respect and whatnot. But no one's ever been able to tell me what to do. Hence the rebel girl game, and you can't fucking help who you fall for so that's why I asked that question, but it makes sense box in your love. You're gonna be I'm

Unknown Speaker 37:35
telling you what else I'll tell you another point. My mom always told me sending like, send my mama got a book. My mom always says don't shit where you eat, knock it off. But I always tell him I don't only eat the places where I shit and I only ship the place where I eat. Because my life is in the gym. Right? So it's very hard. What I find that's nice, is to get a guy like that. I'm like, you know, like that's not in the sport, but kind of just does it for fun so to speak, right like if he got his own shit another job another life but likes to box likes to watch the fight. I mean, to me, that's ideal. Not somebody who's in it because everybody was in an industry like you're an MMA. I'm sure you tell all your friends never did an MMA fight is worse. Because the same way Don't ever date a guy from police and state. Finance never date a guy in finance girls lawyers never did a DA right. Like we all know the guys we work with. And we're like,

Unknown Speaker 38:37
yeah, I mean, that's true. I've definitely said that before. But I mean, so when you're when you're not training people, and when you're not preparing for a fight seems like right now you might have a little bit of downtime, because you're kind of holding out for bigger money, which is smart. How do you date? Do you do the online dating thing? Do you wait for the guy to come up to you? Do you have a preference? Does it not matter?

Unknown Speaker 39:03
Like I never dated before? And I'm definitely never ever going to do the online game. Never know because I will tell you why. Because when I said that a man's looks don't mean nothing to me. They really don't mean shit to me. I can look at a guy and be like, I like like, I would like the guy if he holds the door for me. Maybe carries my back. I'll be like, Oh, I like that guy. Like, I'm more of this type of person who likes somebody based on how they treat me how they make me feel like if I want to be around you. I can't force no interactions. I will never online date. Right now. I'm not even like interested in dating. Like in other words, like guys in my DMS I will not read them. Like if I don't already know you and interact with you and want to be around you. Then. Don't ask me how to date. Really hard

Unknown Speaker 39:50
to do you. There's somebody out there like man, I got the biggest crush on Heather hardy if I could just and you're like don't even try

Unknown Speaker 39:58
or not like both I have health insurance.

Unknown Speaker 40:03
I don't want to do my taxes, I can hang a shelf real good. If you're down, I'll fix your oil.

Unknown Speaker 40:12
We'll keep talking.

Unknown Speaker 40:14
Well, if you're not dating, then, you know you already mentioned vibrators. So imagine is just a lot of self pleasure going on.

Unknown Speaker 40:22
I mean, like, I have a really close unit of best friends, like best best friends. And we're all kind of part of the First Wives Club right now. And you've been divorced. And I said, What's wrong with marriage, and here we are, like, just fucking chillin. And one of my best friends sent me a vibrator when I had my big breakup. And she's like, it's just gonna change your life. The next day, and I was like, bitch, this should change my life.

Unknown Speaker 40:52
So, uh, you're from Brooklyn. And the image that I have of Brooklyn is just like a little bit more like hard nosed and blunt and like, so. I'm gonna ask you about, like, you know, your childhood and how you learned about, you know, the birds and the bees and all that. what age did you did you learn about that? Um, when I'm like, wondering if it's younger, because my image of Brooklyn is like, tough. And, you know, the kids, the kids in Brooklyn seem like they would beat the kids up in my small town. That's what I'm saying.

Unknown Speaker 41:20
Yeah, they probably,

Unknown Speaker 41:23
like I was 11 years old, and I was already smoking a pack a day. We're having keg parties back. We kids are making out hooking up doing all that stuff. Like nobody ever taught us about it. It's just as like, I don't want to say part of the streets because the neighborhood wasn't like, dangerous. Like, there wasn't like guns and stuff like that. But a lot of drugs, a lot of assaults, a lot of, you know, bad things going on. At 11 that's the best place.

Unknown Speaker 41:49
Is that is that when you lost your virginity? 11

Unknown Speaker 41:54
Um, no, I was I was 12. I was 12. And that's 12 minutes, right?

Unknown Speaker 42:00
Oh, that is not not a fun virginity story. I mean, everyone has awkward virginity stories. But that is not a good time to lose your virginity. That's unfortunate. I'm sorry about that.

Unknown Speaker 42:11
Yeah, mindset. But I always thought like, well, if I wasn't getting high, and if I wasn't getting drunk, and if I was, if I wasn't doing that, and that was kind of part of the shame spiral, right. Which just led me to make a lot of other bad decisions when I was young, because of that. But I mean, the thing about Brooklyn is not often the same. You have poor white Brooklyn, you have fancy Brooklyn, you have touristy Brooklyn, you have, you know, the hood. Brooklyn, you have gangster Brooklyn. So like, there's so many different neighborhoods and breeds of Brooklyn people? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 42:46
How? So? It was 12. When you know, last year, yeah, it when was the next time you had sex? How many years past? Or did it take you that long to?

Unknown Speaker 42:58
No, no, no, it says 14 when I slept with my first boyfriend. And then this is can be horrible story because he died. And then at the funeral, I met who later became my ex husband. So I started dating him when I was 15. Going on 16. And we were together until I was 30. We got a divorce at 28. And then I kind of separate. So I would I'm like long term relationship RV. Like once you get with me, you just stay with me forever.

Unknown Speaker 43:30

Unknown Speaker 43:31
all of this is making a lot of sense. Why you said you're newly single, no idea about dating. I'm like, Yeah, I don't

Unknown Speaker 43:39
know. And then after my after my husband, I had a girlfriend for a year and a half, which is bizarre, but I was just convinced that maybe I just wasn't right for men. And then after my girlfriend as a 10 year guy, and like I said that we were on and off. So there was like, kind of like weird people in between him that I knew were emotionally unavailable because I was like, saving myself for 10 years. guys just want to be together. But

Unknown Speaker 44:06
my love life is a mess.

Unknown Speaker 44:09
All of our love lives are a mess. And it's you know, that's why I love doing this podcast because there's no one story that's the same. And every time you think you have a crazy love, you know love life. Here's somebody else's, and you're like, oh, everybody's kind of love life is a little fucked up. It's always it's always awkward. It's always uncomfortable. And then you get some good parts and then some shit happens again. And so I mean, that's like life right? Every time it gets good.

Unknown Speaker 44:37
I think it's I think it's super alpha female, I think row alpha females, like we're so good at business and money and direction and planning. And then when it comes to the unpredictable shit like emotions and love, were like, Oh my God.

Unknown Speaker 44:52
That's very, very true. Yeah, I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna go sparring from this time at this time and strength and conditioning. And then I'm going to take care of my dog when I do the errand. And then my boyfriend and I have a fight and I'm like, oh, life is over.

Unknown Speaker 45:08
Do you know how many times I would be crying to my friend? And, you know, I'd be like, I have to go. I have an interview on CNN. Like some ridiculous, like God

Unknown Speaker 45:23

Unknown Speaker 45:24
The other day, I had like a really bad fight with my boyfriend. I was like, on the way to the studio. And I was like, Hey, you guys just had a break up. See you in the studio and five, and I'm just like, crying but like, still getting my shit done. I'm like, Oh, you can't tell me I don't get my shit done.

Unknown Speaker 45:42
Female shit, man.

Unknown Speaker 45:44
So you talked about having a girlfriend for a year and a half, right? Was this something that was like, Whoa, just a phase of your life where it was at a time where you're like, Oh, I'm bisexual. Good to know? Or was that just, you know, tried out tacos and decided on burritos?

Unknown Speaker 46:00
Well, honestly, you know, like, I met at a time my life when my divorce and I was separating, and I hated my ex husband. It's like I said, like, I'm not really a troll. Like when you're like, what's your type? My type is someone who makes me feel happy. My type is someone who I want to be around who I feel is genuine and makes me laugh who I want to see tomorrow, like, go home and think about and to me, it didn't matter that this person was a woman. So I was super super attracted to the energy I was getting from her. And that was like, I've been with a woman since then. But I don't know that. It's my ideal that because I mean, I'm assuming I can say on your podcast. I really like take a lot.

Unknown Speaker 46:40
Yeah, you can

Unknown Speaker 46:42
say all the bad words.

Unknown Speaker 46:44
But that's really what it comes down to. Like people will be like, Oh, do you think you could ever have a girlfriend and I'm like, I don't know how sustainable it is. Because my one of my best best friends is like, like, hardcore rainbow scissors, right? And she's like, the type of girl who like will date girls, and is like, Fuck, I don't think she's a real one. I think she's one like you. You know. So like, like, lesbians who love Derek are not really meant to be fucking with lesbians who know, they never ever wanted to get.

Unknown Speaker 47:15
I'm all confused on terminology. Because I'm like, wait, a lesbian who loves dick is? When we call that a bisexual person. I could work

Unknown Speaker 47:22
I suppose. But you know, is there like, I'm still learning girl. Now, but like, if you have like, and I only say this because my best friend will have a girlfriend for like two years. I mean, when you're a woman with a woman for two years, how could you not categorize yourself as a lesbian? You might say you don't let that you actually do. You know?

Unknown Speaker 47:47
You're I've had this conversation with straight male friends often. And I'm like, because they don't believe they say this is their their way of thinking not mine. If you're a guy, and you've had dick, then you're gay. But I'm like, What if you also like pussy? Like, what if, when that just mean you're bisexual, and all my guy friends are like, nope, you're gay. And I'm like, Okay, now I feel like you're saying you're like if you're a woman, and you get with other women, but you liked it. Nope. You're lesbian?

Unknown Speaker 48:17
I don't know. Yeah, but you shouldn't be with lesbians who don't like dick because it's so not fair. It's not fair. It's almost dress and like, maybe I'm not the best person to be commentating on this because I am one of the bisexuals who loves deck. But like, I just see how much it hurts my best friend where she'll get these relationships with women. were like, No, I want to be with you and love you. And they wind up going back to men because it's inherently there. And it's winds up being like, a two year back and forth relationship about do you like Derek? Are you talking to him? Are you with him? And then boom, they're back with the guy. Do you

Unknown Speaker 48:52
really think that that's what it is, though? Because if it's just the the the anatomy of a penis, I mean, we've got strap ons, we've got dildos, we've got all these

Unknown Speaker 49:02
that don't count. And I'm saying this as a woman who can be very passionate with a woman, but still, like craves the intimacy of a man. It's not just actually the deck. It's like, the smell of a man feel of a man like the fucking the hands of a man. Like it's a different experience. Right? Yeah, well, I'm saying right, like, You know

Unknown Speaker 49:24
what? I mean? So I know what it's like to be with a guy. But I mean, I have been with the female before as well. And I remember the first time it happened, you know, I remember touching her hair and just thinking like, Wow, that's so soft. Like, and they like, touch my boobs. And I was like, This is way better than mine. And at that moment, I was like, I think I'm straight. Because I'm just not like, Oh, look at these boobs. I'm just like, I would like a pair like this.

Unknown Speaker 49:50
Yeah, not like I can totally get into it with women. Like I'm really attracted to women. But, I mean, I would be an awful partner because I actually crave men So I and I'm like, super aware of that. And I'm only speaking for myself. like there might be lesbians who are like, you fucking stupid bitch. That's not true. Maybe I'm not sure, but I'm just talking about my experience with my best friend who was like hardcore. I mean, she would rather die with fucking smoke coming out of her purse even ever look at a man. Yeah, there's no a

Unknown Speaker 50:22
Yeah, there's definitely diehards where it's like lesbians and you know, and then like I said, there's certain people that don't think there's even such a thing as bisexuality, you know, and I have to, like I said, I have to tread lightly, because as a straight girl, what the fuck do I know? But I'm trying to understand and that's why I love talking to different people. But what about, you know, I'm thinking like, what would you what would Heather's ideal situation be? What if you dated a guy who enjoyed an open relationship in the mean, in terms of you were allowed to bring a female into the bedroom sexually? Maybe not like, you know, as a, you know, like a stripper? You know, but just sexually, would you be open to that?

Unknown Speaker 51:02
I don't know. Like, it'd be hard to say like, I could be totally into that. But the guy I think just because I'm a baby would have I would have to feel so fucking secure with this dude. You want me to let another woman come in? And then still feel like this guy still loves me. Right? Yeah, yeah, I think. I think fun is fun. But and I would totally be down for that. But I think fun is fun. If the dude can really, really trust him like to add like open sexual relationships. at any level, you have to be able to totally trust that your guy is the guy whose eyes aren't going all over the place when he walks into a room for hot girls, right? Like the guy that you don't even have to think about looking through his phone. I mean, and this is why guys are so fucking dumb. Because for the most part, if a woman feels like you really are into only her, she will give you anything. Mm hmm. I don't get that. Like, yeah, go ahead, go cheap with fucking the dope backhaul around the corner. Do you understand what I would give you if you if you made me feel right? Mm hmm.

Unknown Speaker 52:09
I saw today I was looking scrolling through Instagram, and I saw this meme. And it was like, you still have to flirt with her. Even when you get her, you know, it's just like, don't like just because you You are now in a relationship and you're a couple and there's titles doesn't mean you still don't have to put out that same amount of energy. Because just like he can wander off, you know, we still need to be, you know, made to feel sexy and flirted with and all those things, too. And you're right, I think that these guys that are unfaithful, if they would just put a little bit more work into their relationship, maybe surprised at how much women are willing to do.

Unknown Speaker 52:48
And how little women expect like, like, they don't understand how much a text that comes first, right? Like they text you first in or like you don't even have to be money, just like a certain kind of attention. I mean, that's just me as a person, like, I need all the attention all the time. But I'm not asking nobody to pay my bills, take me out, do things for me, like attention to me.

Unknown Speaker 53:12
Yeah, that's it. I feel like I'm getting the same theme with fighter girls, me and a few other women who have been on the podcast. It's like, we have no problem providing for ourselves, you know, financially, whatever it is, but at the end of the day, when we are free, we do have free time because we're so busy. We want all your love and all your attention. I'm yeah,

Unknown Speaker 53:35
my boyfriend. I go around and all day long. I'm heavily heat Hardy, right? I'm teaching boxing, I'm slapping ship out to people. You know, I'm hyping people up getting people ready for their day. And then they go home man, I want somebody be my daddy.

Unknown Speaker 53:53
Slap me around for a little bit aggressive.

Unknown Speaker 53:58
So that does that mean that you are submissive in bed.

Unknown Speaker 54:04
I will tell you that. If a man gives me what I want. He's going to get whatever he wants. Like one thing. My best friend, my best friend, Ronnie. Women's boxes aren't as well known as female MMA fighters. She's a world champion. Her name is Rhonda Jeffrey and one of my best friends. And Queen Ronnie always says, you're gonna get the pussy you deserve. Okay. You're gonna get the fuzzy you work for trust and believe if you work hard, you're gonna get this pussy that you'd be up all night.

Unknown Speaker 54:36
That's very true. That's awesome. Well, have you. I don't think you've heard an episode of the podcast yet, right?

Unknown Speaker 54:44
No, I haven't.

Unknown Speaker 54:46
I've been super busy.

Unknown Speaker 54:47
No worries. Well, you're not familiar with the lightning sex round then. Are you

Unknown Speaker 55:00
Interesting. No. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 55:03
Yeah, so I mean, we could talk all day you're really cool girl. I love talking about this but for times sake where it's called it's called lightening sex round. So I'm gonna say a phrase or a sentence and you're just gonna respond yes or no. And it's okay. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay, so lightning sex round here we go. And all right, do you dirty talk in bed? Yes.

Unknown Speaker 55:28
Spank are like to be spanked. Hell yeah.

Unknown Speaker 55:31
Biting. No, choking. He gotta be done. Right. You come at me with the fucking the third round.

Unknown Speaker 55:43
I was gonna cry chopped in the neck. Okay, three. So.

Unknown Speaker 55:47
Yes. Do you watch porn? No. Any foot fetish?

Unknown Speaker 55:52
No bodily fluids? No. How about bondage like ropes or blindfolds?

Unknown Speaker 55:59
No, that's it scares me.

Unknown Speaker 56:01

Unknown Speaker 56:03
I guess I could be but not before.

Unknown Speaker 56:06
But stuff on you or a partner?

Unknown Speaker 56:10
on me, I could maybe see if it's Yes.

Unknown Speaker 56:15
Do you use sex toys?

Unknown Speaker 56:17
Yes. I just told you 100

Unknown Speaker 56:20
this is true.

Unknown Speaker 56:22
Listen, Ashley. Have you ever been to a sex club? No. Or a swingers party? Nope. Are you a lingerie lover?

Unknown Speaker 56:31
Um, no.

Unknown Speaker 56:33
All right, that's it. Cuz

Unknown Speaker 56:35
I did the thing. You did it. Good job.

Unknown Speaker 56:40
Okay, so you you haven't listened to the episode or to the podcast before. So there's two other segments. One's called Fuck, marry kill. And the last one will be fan questions. Just

Unknown Speaker 56:51
marry me my friends.

Unknown Speaker 57:02
One marry one kill one. Go. I think we're done. We're done. Okay, awesome.

Unknown Speaker 57:05
So I don't got to explain it to you. So like creative associates, Dan and pat Kenny. They love coming up with these for me. They came up with the boxing version for you. Surprise, surprise.

Unknown Speaker 57:17
isn't a big

Unknown Speaker 57:18
thing. And Chevy.

Unknown Speaker 57:20
Yeah. It's always shitty for everybody. Because you know if it's an MMA fighter, I'm like, oh, how about these people you work with? And they're like, Fuck your lashes. Like, actually, my boyfriend told me the other day he's like, I think you enjoy making people uncomfortable. Like

Unknown Speaker 57:35
maybe a little

Unknown Speaker 57:37
grill. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 57:40
Okay, fuck marry kill boxing version. And for your sake. Let's say these dudes are in their prime. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 57:47

Unknown Speaker 57:48
Mike Tyson, Floyd Mayweather and Oscar de la jolla.

Unknown Speaker 57:53
Okay, I'm killing Oscar. killin Oscar. I'm frog Mike. Marry Floyd. That was it as he won. That's it. Cuz that was an easy

Unknown Speaker 58:02
one. Okay, so you said fuck bike and Barry Floyd? Yeah, he got the money, man. Pretty Boy.

Unknown Speaker 58:10
So okay, the last segment is fan questions. Cross. Check.

Unknown Speaker 58:20
You got a lot of fans out there girl and all these are real, real fans that want to know some pretty interesting questions. Are you ready?

Unknown Speaker 58:27

Unknown Speaker 58:28
Okay. At hoy dot Mason wants to know what made her want to switch from boxing to MMA.

Unknown Speaker 58:34
Money Money, money.

Unknown Speaker 58:38
I love it. She gives it so real. Let's be real. Come on, guys. gotta pay them bills at underscore real underscore intellect underscore 181818 sorry, how's your boxing career helped or hindered your MMA career?

Unknown Speaker 58:54
I think my boxing career helped it because it gave me a spotlight to kind of showcase who I am not just as a fighter, but as a personality and a platform to really speak both about equal pay and all the other kinds of things like it was. It was my vehicle that drove me into MMA. So I definitely think it's helped

Unknown Speaker 59:11
sure it always because of MMA being such like a three dimensional diverse sport with all these different martial arts mix pence mixed martial arts. It's really cool when you get someone like you, or a jujitsu girl or a wrestler who has as this high accolade long resume, you know of accomplishments, and then you're like, oh, What's she gonna do? Or what's he gonna do in this?

Unknown Speaker 59:36
Yeah, it's like, like, it's like, I wonder what's gonna happen? Is it gonna be enough?

Unknown Speaker 59:40
Yeah. Are they gonna be able to do the same awesome things in this sport as they were able to do in that sport? So yeah, that's cool. Okay, so at ticker 1987 wants to know, this is interesting question. Is it easier to generate power from a boxing or MMA stance? What's the difference in stances?

Unknown Speaker 1:00:02
Well, I think stance is more sideways like you keep your right hand a little bit long to keep people with distance. For me anyway, because I'm more of a boxing boxer. I like to keep people on the end of my punches. And I may have to square up a little bit more, because you gotta be careful for like takedowns and leg kicks and things like that, as far as power goes, is all like what your range is. And this is where we make a technical boring question. But the answer will be is where your ranges some people have more power on the inside. Some people have more power outside. It depends on who you're fighting. If I'm fighting someone that's chasing me, then I found it easy to keep them at bay and Lam my power shots from outside.

Unknown Speaker 1:00:42
Yeah, no, it's not boring. If you know fighting, that's a great answer. And you can just tell how much background you have with striking By the way, you answered that question. And some people just listening to this podcast for the juicy gossip or like, what? By now,

Unknown Speaker 1:00:56
I know I always preface it by saying this is really boring, but it's very technical. I'm a very technical designer. And just because if my technique isn't as great, my mind is much smarter than my technique will ever be. So I know how to explain things, even if I can't do them perfectly, if that makes sense.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:13
No, and that's obviously why you're probably doing well as a trainer. You know, cuz there's a lot of vice versa. There's a lot of fighters out there who can you know, jab and move and footwork and then they're like, Can I take it? Right, put your hand this way. Put your other hand this way. Yeah, just do what I do. Okay. All right. So at Cana Val, cannibal el wants to know, how do you feel about men who like women's feet? There's always one question like this girl.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:46
Oh my god, there's always one. So are we have this thing like my client, we joke about foot pick Friday, because every Friday, I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna go through my dams and see who's asking for a foot peg. And there's always a handful of them. I don't feel about it. I don't understand it. It's fair. But I'm always quite tempted to take your $500 and send you a picture of my father's but I don't, but I feel like I always want to.

Unknown Speaker 1:02:16
I've totally I haven't taken their money before. But on Snapchat, like, it's had to be this year cuz me and my boyfriend have been dating for under a year. But I remember we're in bed and I got like a random Snapchat. And they're like, send me your feet. And I'll send you this and I'm like, babe, let me see your feet. And he's just got some you know, normal guy like hairy long toes, the great guy feet, but like, definitely not female fee. And I sent this person a picture and they were just like, ah, but what's so satisfying? I mean, I always think I'm like, God, I love my father's feet. No, I don't I don't think much of it. I mean, to each his own you know? And ain't my thing and I send you my photos pictures of my feet together. Not that hard up for money guys. No, no, not yet. At she fights to media, this this actually Instagram page, they send great questions and they're all about promoting female fighters. So if you guys actually enjoy a female fighting, you should follow this Instagram. It's at she fights to media to media. And if she's she's, I'm assuming it's a girl. I shouldn't do that. But they are asking two questions. A can if you can choose between the perfect knockout, perfect orgasm or perfect submission? Which one would you choose?

Unknown Speaker 1:03:31
Oh, man, yeah, just hit me. Well, you're not gonna

Unknown Speaker 1:03:37
for sure. So

Unknown Speaker 1:03:39
I wouldn't say submission because I love that shit. I mean, but there are a few bridges. I would not mind knocking out highlight reels on that. But I mean, at this point, like my vibrator only does so much that I find the perfect orgasm.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:56
Okay, perfect orgasm. And the second part is, do you want

Unknown Speaker 1:04:03
a typo? Do you want someone who is possessive? Or do you want a man that gives you your space?

Unknown Speaker 1:04:09
Um, I think that balance is what's important, right? Like, like, I wouldn't mind a man who you know I have all my girls over for a party and he's just laying in my bed waiting for me a nice balance. So this year like I'm hanging out my friends and he's home like cooking and waiting for me. That would be fun.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:29
Yeah, I love it when you know that you go out and then when you come home and they're like, I missed you so much. You could only be gone for like a couple hours right? But they're just like, missed you man. And you're like, even if they didn't really miss you that much. Just saying that they missed you makes you feel so loved. You're like Oh, okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:46
Yeah, I never had that. So that's like that's like goals. Like that's what I have fun, babe, but I'm gonna miss you and be waiting here for you. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 1:04:55
yeah, I bet Yeah, it's it's very new. For me. I've had the opposite where it's Like, don't go out. I don't want you to go wow, I don't trust you. Oh, you know, you're gonna drink too much you're gonna hang out with those slutty girls or whatever. And

Unknown Speaker 1:05:08
that's I always drink too much and hang out with somebody.

Unknown Speaker 1:05:14
That's part

Unknown Speaker 1:05:17
All right, last question. It's a fun one. I actually I don't even know who asked this, but I'm gonna ask it anyway. If you could give yourself a nickname in regards to your performance in the bedroom. What would it be? Good one

Unknown Speaker 1:05:33
that was a really good one because I had you when Queen Ronnie Jays statement. You get the pussy you deserve. I'm either gonna lay there like a pillow princess. I'm gonna change your life. Maybe?

Unknown Speaker 1:05:47
Yeah, the choice is yours. You get the person you work for they're

Unknown Speaker 1:05:51
gonna leave and never leaving. Never even you hear for me, one of the other.

Unknown Speaker 1:06:03
Awesome, thank you so much, girl. I I know. It's a whole bunch of unorthodox very intrusive questions, but but

Unknown Speaker 1:06:12
it was super fun. Because I normally don't do interviews like this. I never talk about my personal life. I never talk about my sex life. I never talk about things like that. So thank you for even thinking of me with super famous MMA fighter and you caught me. So

Unknown Speaker 1:06:26
here's the thing. It's like, girls like me, women, whatever you want to say I always say girls and boys, even though I'm 33. But people like me, doesn't matter what we've done. I look at a woman like you and I read your story. And yeah, I love that. You know, in your intro, you're gonna hear me talk about all your accolades, and how you're a first woman boxer on TV in like 40 years, and all these amazing things that got my attention initially about you. But then when I started hearing your background and the trials and tribulations and what you've been through in your struggles, and how you've made that work for you, I couldn't wait to talk to you and I'm a fan. And I'll be a fan forever now, girl. So

Unknown Speaker 1:07:09
thank you so much that I think

Unknown Speaker 1:07:11
keep doing you. Please keep speaking on these issues that a lot of people are afraid to speak about. And yeah, I got all choked up when you're saying some other stuff earlier. So I know that there's some people out there that are are really affected by this podcast. So

Unknown Speaker 1:07:24
you got you got to make sure you send me the link so I can share it. Oh, yeah, it Oh, it's on tomorrow morning, girl.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:30
All right. Have a good night, and we'll talk to you soon.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:34
Okay, bye.

Unknown Speaker 1:07:58
This is black hoodie wrap. There's no fear.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:03
Wow. People like Heather are truly inspiring. And they remind me of all the benefits to hosting this podcast. The brave guests that stand up and speak about the real events and real struggles with really intrusive details like this one, are the kind of advice we need to hear. And the kind of stories that you should hear more about is this type of content that we want to put out to you guys every week. And if there's some silly or sexy stuff mixed in, that's okay, too. I really hope you guys enjoyed another episode of sex and violence with me, Rebel girl. Keep your head up guys still in this crazy pandemic. But be resilient in whatever it is you do. Be confident in the future, even if it's looking a little grim right now. And don't forget to unplug from technology. And that's my advice for the week. Find something that makes you happy like running, hiking, scrapbooking, read a book, learn to garden, play an instrument and of course, lots of sex and violence with rebel girl podcast. Also, since we covered a topic this week that we never have, I'd like to put out some helpful information. And it will also be in the Episode Notes, the Rape, Abuse and national network rain, as they like to be called estimated in 2014 that two out of every three sexual assaults are not reported to the police. That is not okay guys. We need to help make people feel more comfortable holding the people that do these crimes accountable. So how do we do that? There's a number that you can call if you don't feel like going straight to the police. It's called the National Sexual Assault telephone hotline. And if you need help, call one 800 656 hope one 800 guys 656 hope and you'll be connected with the train staff From a sexual assault service provider in your area, you'll get things like confidential support from a trained staff member support finding local health facilities. You'll get someone to help you talk through what happened because sometimes just talking about stuff helps local resources that can assist you with your next steps towards healing and recovery. referrals for long term support in your area. Information about the laws in your community, basic information about medical concerns, guys, take care of yourselves, take care of others. And if you like this podcast, rate it review it will send you stickers. Special thank you to our audio engineer, DJ zol at DJ zol tomorrow could studio at tomorrow kids official, and you can find us on Instagram at sex and violence with rebel girl and myself at Ashley MMA. Subscribe to this podcast and tune in next week to hear more tales of sex and violence.

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