ALL NEW: Get exclusive content from Rebel Girl!

Episode 5: Nina Ansaroff

Unknown Speaker 0:00
sex

Unknown Speaker 0:04
and violence.

Unknown Speaker 0:17
Hey guys, welcome back to sex and violence with rebel girl where we interview top level MMA fighters about

Unknown Speaker 0:23
love, dating, romance, and also taboo subject. I'm your host Ashley, Rebel girl Adam Smith. Now let's talk about sex and violence.

Unknown Speaker 0:40
What's happening hot stuff what's up all you listeners, followers fans, and let's face it, sexual deviants. I mean, let's just call you what you are, but it also be calling the kettle black. So, anyway, June is Pride Month and for these last two episodes here on sex and violence, I'm very happy to announce we'll be showcasing some of the Best LGBTQ. That's a lot of letters, representatives in the MMA world. You may be wondering what Pride Month is exactly. So let me explain its quote, when the world's LGBT communities come together and celebrate the freedom to be themselves. Pride gatherings are rooted in challenging histories of minority groups who have struggled for decades to overcome prejudice and be accepted for who they are. The original organizers chose this month to pay homage to the Stonewall uprising. That's in June 1969 in New York City, which helped to spark the modern gay rights movement. Most pride events take place in June, although some cities hold their celebrations at other times of the year. So these last few months have been jam packed with important issues including health and welfare of our country's the equal rights of our communities. And now the rainbow sprinkles on the chaos cake is Pride Month. But instead of a heavy hearted episode full of depictions of past struggles of LGBTQ history, I'll be reusing Some light hearted, feel good, positive interviews from from powerful women in the sport. I'm not saying that our current issues don't matter, they all matter. But in order to relieve you from your compassion fatigue and give you a small breather, I give you sex and violence with rebel girl. It's good to decompress, turn off the news, stop scrolling for a few minutes or an hour and it will probably help you double down on the things that truly matter. So with that said, let's get to the good stuff. Today's guest is an outstanding LGBTQ representative. She's living her life on her own terms, fighting forming a family and all with her soulmate by her side. She opens up about durable uteruses lesbian Miss sex inside the cage, and much more. She's one half of the most powerful power couple one has ever seen. wife in future baby mama to UFC champ Amanda Nunez and number five ranked UFC Strike Fighter. Here is Nina Anza.

Unknown Speaker 3:13
God so brave drink.

Unknown Speaker 3:53
Hey, Nina, how's it going? Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Unknown Speaker 3:57
It's going good. Thank you for having me.

Unknown Speaker 3:59
Awesome. I just want to jump right into it. I know you got a lot going on, but the biggest thing is your belly. So tell me all about it. How many months along are you? How many of you have left? What's going on? I am six months long. I got three left. So hopefully these last three go as fast as possible. Man, I honestly am so excited about this interview. First of all, when I say thank you, I mean, honestly, I don't know what your body's going through. I've never had a child myself, but I honestly felt like a an asshole. I was like, Am I really gonna ask this six months? You know, pregnant woman like,

Unknown Speaker 4:34
hey, do my podcast, but you're likely Why not? I'm actually very happy you did because I'm so bored right now. Like, anything to do to distract my boredom like, great. This is definitely something that I'm more excited to do.

Unknown Speaker 4:50
Awesome. I mean, I have seen on Instagram that you are still hitting pads. Are you doing any other type of training?

Unknown Speaker 4:58
Yeah, Kevin running every day. Thing hitting pads. The gyms been closed because of the virus. So I've kind of been having like some of the girls come over maybe hold pads for me from the gym. Amanda doesn't really like holding pads. So that doesn't work well, but I run or lift weights but trying to do as much as I can. Once the gym opens, I'm going to go to all the pro training classes. And of course, I'm not going to go live or spar but I'm going to drill any of the live drills that they're doing and hit pads like back and forth with other people. And then, you know, try to keep it active as I can like, I get bored and I just want to stay in shape and try not to look at the number on the scale.

Unknown Speaker 5:38
Yeah, I mean, I can't even imagine I know what it feels like, you know, coming back from quarantine 15 having a few extra pounds. I can't even imagine having a big old belly and hidden pads. I'd be like, I'm done here.

Unknown Speaker 5:51
Yeah, well, it's like the funny thing is actually more energy than I normally do. So it's actually kind of weird and I'm looking to like try to push More so that I could feel tired like I don't feel like I'm pregnant. The only thing that makes me feel pregnant is when I look up the scale

Unknown Speaker 6:07
wow that's interesting and like I said, you know before when we talked earlier I don't know the correct verbiage but are you in like the last trimester the third trimester in

Unknown Speaker 6:16
the last trimester?

Unknown Speaker 6:18
That's crazy and you still have all this energy with Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 6:21
belly everyone. All my friends are like, you're a freak and I don't I don't know like I

Unknown Speaker 6:29
like I'm always active anyway. Barely sleep as it is like I buy sleep more than six hours. That's a lot for me. So I'm already running around the line. The thing that bothers me the most is every time I tried to pick something up or do something, Amanda's like, you can't let I'm like, I can't I can like talk to the doctor. I'm fine. You're like freaking out. She being a very protective over you and everything that you do. Yeah, like, like we had someone come the other day to pick up some furniture that we were getting rid of. And I was like, I'm gonna help him carry to the carpet. No, you're not. I'm like, I can carry a 20 pound destiny.

Unknown Speaker 7:08
Oh, that just means he loves you. That's awesome. No, no. When is the correct time that you find out the gender of the baby? And do you guys even want to know that? Or do you want to wait till last minute?

Unknown Speaker 7:19
Well, it's interesting because the route we took like I didn't beat. So I actually genetically tested my embryos and I already knew before I put it in and that we picked to have a girl first. Oh, you guys got to pick? Yeah. We pick the girl for the first one. I had an older brother and

Unknown Speaker 7:40
I had friends that had an older sister. So with the older sister, just in case there's more than one. That's so awesome. So you know you just alluded you said the first one that means there might be a second baby.

Unknown Speaker 7:53
There might be three or four. I mean right now. I know everyone says hi. Have your first have your first but you know lots of new and nephews I grew up around lots of kids. I've always wanted to have at least three. That sort of being like, okay, three is the most because they're, you know, there are a lot but it's something I wanted. And then it came to like Amanda being like, let's have one. And then now she's like, well, we can do to your embryos to mine and then I'm like, okay, so we just went from one to four.

Unknown Speaker 8:24
No, more than one. Wow. Well, you

Unknown Speaker 8:27
know what you say that now, I'm gonna have you back on the podcast, after this thing comes out your vagina and you tell me

Unknown Speaker 8:33
how you feel then. Okay. And I do that

Unknown Speaker 8:36
with Amanda all the time, like the Walker. How's it go, Amanda? This thing is gonna just come right out of my vagina. It's like this big. Like, always laughs when I say that, but something to think about, you know, and then I even had her watch one of the videos and I watched her like the live videos. I'm a little bit traumatized. I was also like, there's nothing beautiful about childbirth.

Unknown Speaker 9:01
I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. I do not envy you whatsoever right now, I'm happy that you got some energy if you're still, you know, doing your trading and stuff, but everything that's about to come as far as the labor and you know, plus, you know, you guys are in store for long nights of crying and pooping and yeah, I'm actually kind

Unknown Speaker 9:22
of excited to see what it feels like I don't I'm not gonna take any medication. I'm going to do it naturally. I just want to get a good feel for what exactly goes on during this process. But I'm not going to go like squatted in the woods or anything like that. I'm going to go to the hospital and, you know, do the, you know, I'm not like I want to heal like in the nature like I don't I'm not that I'm just yeah, I want to feel what it feels like and yeah,

Unknown Speaker 9:44
so you're not gonna do the Gosh, what's it called? I'm sorry, the epidural. epidural,

Unknown Speaker 9:50
no, no epidural.

Unknown Speaker 9:52
I feel like that's because you're a fighter and I feel like I feel the same sense of

Unknown Speaker 9:57
a challenge with anything. You know, it could be like The person on the treadmill next to me I'm like, Oh,

Unknown Speaker 10:01
yeah, you know what it is? exactly what it is. Because to me, it's like, there are women that have done it like, I'll show you, you know, like, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 10:11
yeah, I suppose you said that. I was like, that's her competitive side right there. Like I already know.

Unknown Speaker 10:16
medicine for this. I'm a fighter bitch.

Unknown Speaker 10:19
Yeah, exactly. There's no like I met one girl psycho. I didn't get to the She's like a dainty little like petite girl with the high school shooting. I didn't get to the hospital time so I didn't have time for it ever done. I have this girl push the baby out of vagina. I'm I'm so doing I

Unknown Speaker 10:33
you know what? And this is completely different. But I say the same thing about tattoos. Sometimes I'll see these like really dainty girly girls with these badass gnarly tattoos like on their chest or their throat and I'm like, That bitch can get it I can get back. And that's how I feel about the caliber. I there's no changing my mind. That's cool. So you did in vitro. I don't know anything about that. That's cool that you got to pick the sex in this is Maybe weird to ask, but do you know where the sperm came from? Do you want to know? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 11:05
no, we know, we know where we know everything about him I actually paid an agency that, you know, I did genetic testing and I had the donor do genetic testing because sometimes if there's a double dominant or something like that on a gene that you carry, there could be a something that's wrong genetically with the baby, or it causes Down syndrome or some or anything like that. So I made someone like if I have like a acute hearing loss or something, and he has it too, there's a chance or kid's gonna have bad hearing, you know what I mean? Yeah, so like I went, and we paid for all that background with my genetics, and his genetics and the blood and the testing and all that. I mean, we didn't get like too crazy, like six five blond hair blue. But like we got in our normal, average looking guy, you know, he's not anything crazy in and he has no idea who we are, and you won't ever know who we are and if our kid turns 18 she can find out through the bank if she wants. But you know if that's her decision I mean my mom left when I was really little and I had no desire like to even care about who she is or what she did you know, my my dad did such a great job and that's what we want to do. We want to do such a great job that she's not curious that who donated to the cause?

Unknown Speaker 12:30
That's really cool. Yeah, I I believe that your family is not necessarily your blood. It's who's raised you and who's loved you throughout your you know, childhood. I was raised by my grandpa a lot. And you know, he's like a father figure to me and he was technically not even my blood. So that's I'm on the same same level with the sister.

Unknown Speaker 12:52
To me, it's not even like I've always loved kid we even spoke about adoption we like so to me. It's the love you give the kids You know, Amanda grew up with just the mother, I grew up with just the Father. There's no, like, we don't have any of that weird stuff in our head, like, oh, he needs to have a dad or she needs to have a dad or how are we going to explain that? Like, that's not something we think of, we're just going to do such a great job raising our kids, and it's not gonna matter, you know?

Unknown Speaker 13:20
Yeah. So if your child does want to know, her biological father, when she's 18, and then she finds out from the bank, you know, Could she then contact him? I guess, and then would he men, maybe someday find out that he's, you know,

Unknown Speaker 13:36
I mean, it's possible, but that's the reason we kind of went through this. We have until the day to close it off. But like, we'll know personally, I keep all that information, but I can make it so that she can't find out. But I don't know if that's fair. I mean, we'll we'll see. It's there's no there's no decisive decision on how we're going to deal with that. But I feel like the best the people that go, why don't you use some You know, are this like, Are you crazy? So every time a man and I pop up on TV, I could be like, my baby idiots out there like, the last thing. For sure

Unknown Speaker 14:12
I was just thinking right now is like if that guy in 18 years gets a phone call from your daughter, he's gonna be stoked. He's gonna be like, I created this.

Unknown Speaker 14:21
Exactly. We didn't make any way. I was like, Oh, why don't you just go find a guy or get a donor and have them sign off? And like, that's the last thing I wanted anyone knowing. That's our kids. There, huh? Oh, wow. Well, that it was a little more expensive route, but I feel like the safer route for everyone involved. Yeah. Is it rude to ask how about how much that that whole process costs? No, it's not weird. I'm actually each each place is a little bit different, but it's kind of similar. You can buy like a one cycle to cycle three because sometimes, you know you don't get all the right eggs. The first one I picked For two just in case the first one didn't work because I I felt like a time crunch you know like I want to do I want to get back in fighting Yeah. So I did the two two cycles and I think for two cycles with medication is around $45,000

Unknown Speaker 15:15
good fight per shorter. Okay, yeah. Got

Unknown Speaker 15:20
it. So it's one mine took on the first try. So unfortunately I lost the second cycle I paid for can't freeze those suckers. I did froze them, they but they took like, they take the first month you're pumped full full of hormones to like produce as many eggs as possible. And then they take the eggs out, they fertilize them and then let them go to seven days old. Because you know how some of those women they just take them out fertilizer and then put put like four back in and see which ones take and that's why some end up with one or two summers off was like seven. That's how that happens. We did the process where they go To the seventh day outside of the womb, and then they're able to be genetically tested to see if there's any chromosome mismatch because that's what miscarriages come from from the chromosomes not matching correctly, or some kind of like dysfunction. So we did that. So we got four out of the 22 that went all the way to the seven days. And I don't plan on getting having more than four. Amanda's gonna also take hers out. Same donor, and I'm gonna carry hers in my stomach.

Unknown Speaker 16:31
Wow. That's so cool. I mean,

Unknown Speaker 16:37
I was like, I'm almost a doctor at this point.

Unknown Speaker 16:41
And things I went through, but I mean, the only thing is Amanda saw what I was doing. She's like, I really had to stick over 100 needles in my ass and they're not little

Unknown Speaker 16:51
kids. So I feel it after the first 10

Unknown Speaker 16:56
You better tell her like, Look, you better be happy. It's just the needles. If you're the one Yeah, carrying the baby back to stay intact.

Unknown Speaker 17:05
The first part, the needles that they need to take the eggs out are bad. It's the second one where you're putting it back in. You have to inject progesterone in you and it's like a two inch needle in your butt every day. And it your body starts to like rejected after like the first 10 so like I would have like scar tissue and I'm like, it's not going in. Like that is

Unknown Speaker 17:27
fun. Oh my gosh, I was so excited for you. I mean, you just alluded to the fact that Amanda you know wants to have to I mean, I know you guys say that now and you don't even have the first one out yet but if that's the case, and you're going to carry all for potentially, how would you space out your career you said you want to go back to fighting as soon as possible you're gonna go fight a few times have a kid go fight a few times have a kid Yes.

Unknown Speaker 17:55
See, like that was also something we thought about like I thought this through like even the timing of this one. I thought through to like, the second it was something that was talked about for a year and a half or but I kept winning and hanging up there. Yeah, and I was like, Okay, one more. So then once I got the fight with Tatiana and I told him like, after if I won that fight I would have fought for the belt, everything that could have gone wrong that week went wrong. Everything I got strep throat on the Tuesday we landed I had like a horrible weight cut. And like, I don't even know and I was just like, you know what I'm fighting I'm not pulling out of this whatever happens happens, you know? So I ended up going through a decision it didn't look as horrible as I felt. And I was like this is a good time to do this. You know, like there was already another contender fight on on the on the rise and the there was a the fight for the belt. So it would have been another six months before I would have had another fight that would put me back in that area. Now's the time and then the virus happened and everything really slowed down. So I was like, Tatyana hasn't bought since I bought I'm in the same rankings when I left. So it it kind of worked out. So I feel like with this one, getting the eggs out was the important. They're frozen. You could put a baby an egg in your room until you're 50. Really? Yeah, it's getting the eggs that are healthy before you're in your late 30s. That's the hardest to get your eggs and freeze them. You could put them back in, in your early 50s if you want,

Unknown Speaker 19:26
as long as I mean, I know. Gosh, I sound so uneducated as far as like, Girl functions. And I am a girl but as long as you know, I guess your uterus is healthy enough enough in your head to carry the baby.

Unknown Speaker 19:39
Exactly. the uterus is something that is like the easiest to control. They can clean it out if they're scarring they can. It's more durable than your ovaries and your eggs which produce what you need. Once you get that that's why you like I think Halle Berry just had one in her was early 50s, early 40s and it's it's that process but the hardest part women have is when they start thinking too late in their early 40s and they have to do in vitro they sometimes can't even get one healthy egg and that's, that's the main issue is getting an egg with a good quality and I have those Amanda's 32 she'll have you know healthy ones as well. And then I'm gonna this once I come back I'm gonna fight until I see how far it goes you know a couple more fights and get me the belt. I get the belt I defended once I'm good with this career honestly, like, that's enough for me. Like I would just get the phone I just dropped out of here. Quit while you're ahead. Exactly like babies but

Unknown Speaker 20:43
like, that's my job.

Unknown Speaker 20:47
Yeah, have the baby go back to fighting as long as I need to, to see where it's going usually have an idea of what's happening in this kind of life. And then, you know, have the babies after everything. The next three or four or whatever I decide

Unknown Speaker 21:02
that makes so much sense because I'm over here thinking like why why now she's ranked, you know, fifth in the world. She's She's killing it, you know winning fights left and right. You have, you know, the best trading partner in the world by your side, but when you break it down like that, that just seems like such a great time if not to have the baby to at least, you know, get your eggs frozen and I don't know if that means you have to take time off. Do you need to take time off to get your

Unknown Speaker 21:29
six weekly together mountain frozen, okay, so even that's, you know, like, you need time off you don't want like I trained and did everything was going through that process. All you are is injecting hormones. It's just like the same pain you might feel when you have your period. But it's not. It's nothing that you you can't like stay active and continue your training. Like I could have continued that process and thought, you know, that easy part.

Unknown Speaker 21:57
So you got

Unknown Speaker 21:58
Yeah, okay, that's

Unknown Speaker 22:01
I'm learning so much right now. I bet the listeners are too. So let's say you pop this baby out in three months. What's your expected return date? You know? I don't really six months.

Unknown Speaker 22:13
Six months. I'm fighting after baby's born. Cool. I

Unknown Speaker 22:16
mean, I know and you know, probably because the MMA world is so small Mackenzie Dern. Well, yeah, her return time was super fast, right?

Unknown Speaker 22:23
Yeah, I think she did like five months or something like that. I'm gonna go up to 25 maybe my first fight.

Unknown Speaker 22:30
No one here. No one blames you for that girl.

Unknown Speaker 22:32
I'm pretty. I'm pretty big for 15 as it is, and I straight torture myself to make 15 I don't know how my body's gonna react. After the baby. Some people lose weight after they have babies. It helps them but I didn't have a lot of chub. I wasn't chubby. I was more like taken muscular. So that's not the weight that people are like. It's the baby when your breast in your burning fat like I don't have I didn't have a lot Have fat. So me you all be easier to make 115 doesn't exist because I'm like a skeleton at 115 Yeah, so

Unknown Speaker 23:07
I guess we'll just have to see you don't know what to expect. This is your first child. And everyone's body is different. So

Unknown Speaker 23:13
I think Amanda and I both needed a break to like I think this, this baby was a good break for her and I because it's not just me fighting, winning, it's back to back. I have a fight, she has a fight, I have a fight. She has a fight. And we're both very much involved in each other's fights and fights camp. It's not like I literally have had fights and had to go in the gym that week and help her train in her same way. You know, it's there's no downtime when there's two people in a relationship fighting back to back especially her at a championship level, and I'm managing her so it's kind of like, we both needed this and this was a perfect time to do it.

Unknown Speaker 23:50
It's funny you say a break because I think of like the whole process of being pregnant and you know, having the baby I'm like that's not a break.

Unknown Speaker 23:59
It sounds like a joke. Right and a new adventure for sure. But I'm like that though so like a break to me I'm talking like on the beach smoking some weed that's gonna do

Unknown Speaker 24:10
all that stuff I feel like some people are a little too crazy with the idea of what it's supposed to be like to be a parent you know? Like, I she's gonna travel with the week wherever we go the gym we could bring her to work with us. It's not like a normal I mean, I don't know a normal people having babies. I don't know if that sounds like ridiculous or makes any sense but it's like our lifestyle. Just carrying a baby. He's like carrying a backpack around with us you know? Like, where she can go everywhere we both go We both have the same job. We both have the gym we both don't work outside of that, you know, it's

Unknown Speaker 24:48
Yeah, a lot of people don't understand that the gym. You know your average person, oh my god, an MMA gym. But we both know that it's actually a very safe welcoming environment. In In most gyms, you know, so I think, and we see kids on the side of the mat, you know, maybe not like toddlers crawling around, but they get to a certain age and they're just gym babies, you know,

Unknown Speaker 25:09
you'll see so many, especially American classroom, it's a huge gym with their babies parked in the stroller, right? while they're training, it's like a normal thing, baby parking to the right. You know, and you'll be like, Oh, you seem like fussy a little bit. There's always someone sitting there watching that will entertain the baby because they know, the dad's training, you know, it's like, it's not it's a big gym. And there's a lot of people that know us, so I'm not too worried about like,

Unknown Speaker 25:36
yeah, that being that all the ins and outs of you know where she's gonna go. Yeah, I think that's really cool. Besides, you know, the weight class. Do you think once you have the kid will anything change as far as the way you train or the way you fight? Or is this going to be life as normal?

Unknown Speaker 25:54
I think I'm gonna have more of a drive than me to be honest with my main dream was to be a mother like I wanted to have kids Since I was so young, at like 18, or 19, like I, I think part of it was because my mom left my little brother was 18 months younger than me and I pretended like he was a baby my whole life. And now he's like this big grown man. And he's like, you were like, so hovering and I'm like, I just want like, I was always like that I always did, did the laundry in the house took care of my brothers. Like, I was the only girl so like, that, that stuff's very normal to me, when I don't have something to take care of. I get bored. You know, it sounds like you have a very strong maternal instinct. Yeah. Why? Like, I want to do this and I feel like this is like, this is like my dream. Like, once the baby's born. I'm gonna be like, Okay, I got that out of the way. I have what I want. Now this is gonna be easier is what I feel. I could be wrong, but I'm giving it a try. I mean, you got you know, Amanda fighting as well, but I always I'm, I don't have a child, but sometimes I'll fight women, opponents that have children, and it's a weird thought, but I'm always like, oh man, she's probably going to come home. Hard cuz she's gonna put, you know, food on the table for

Unknown Speaker 27:02
her kid, you know? And I'm like, you know, so I gotta come even harder.

Unknown Speaker 27:06
Yeah, no, no, I think like, part of it will soften me up a bit. But that that that that switch that turns on in a fighter. I've been missing that and I feel like she might bring it back to me, you know?

Unknown Speaker 27:18
Yeah, that's exciting, man. So you talked a little bit about your mom, I didn't know that. You had that situation. And she left when you were young. How old? Were you? Exactly.

Unknown Speaker 27:28
I was three. And the thing is my dad's born, he's from Macedonia. So like, he is very like, not from here. Very old school. And that's how kids grow kind of thing. So like, I grew up rough with my brothers. Like I was like one of the boys. I didn't want to be different. So when my brothers got their matching clothes, I wanted the same thing or they went one time and they got a spiky hair and I'm like, why was like I didn't even realize what a girl or boy thing I just didn't want to be left out. I was already like out. And I, my mom popped in here in there but like I, I went to I studied psychology in college for that that purpose like wondering how a mother can leave three kids. You know, she suffered from manic depression her father committed suicide, she lost it. And she left and then when I was at the age of six, I was sexually molested by my uncle until I was about 12. So that I blamed a lot on her because it was my dad's brother, who like he would have never expected that it's, you know, like, he was like the monarch of the family, and all this stuff that I went through, and I just kept it all in it. And people now like they talked about being abused, and they have a hard time talking about but I don't because I kind of like, found my strength in that in a weird way. Like I went to school for it. I went to school for psychology. I studied why I was feeling the way I was what was this? What was that and Like it, it helped me I was mad at my mom for a long time because she wasn't there. And now I'm okay. Like, I'm fine with it. I haven't really told anyone about it until Amanda kind of like, saw it in me one day at a family party was there and I was holding two little girls in my hand my nieces that like, loved me and look up to me and I protect them like my own. And that man decided to like walk by and like, oh, who are these? And I like gave him this look. And I said, You're not gonna fucking touch these two. I'm sorry, my leather.

Unknown Speaker 29:34
You can cost as much as you fucking won.

Unknown Speaker 29:37
Okay, I was like, you're not gonna fucking touch these. And I walked away and I sat at the table. And Amanda looked at me like, she knew something was up. Mm hmm. And I was like, I want to go like, let's go and we got home and she kept looking at me waiting for me to say something. I told her. I said, I need to tell you something. I've never told anyone. And she was like, everyone needs to know what that man did. He needs to pay for what he did. So I ended up telling my whole family And like it like, gave me a sense of relief after I kind of got that out. Not for in a way that like, most people think like, Oh, I needed to tell the world because, like, it never affected me like that, you know, like I just my main thing was I didn't want to break my dad's heart and that's why I kept it in and that was stronger than me than how I felt. Wow, that's why I have this maternal thing that like don't fuck with my kid. I'll kill you.

Unknown Speaker 30:28
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean I don't know if you afterwards got therapy for what you went through from six to 12 I don't know exactly what that would would take to kind of make sure that you were okay you know, you're seem to be doing great obviously you have, you know, you're creating your own family. Now you have a good relationship with your father but have you ever thought about, you know, one on one therapy sessions to kind of work out this stuff that went you know, that happened from six to 12.

Unknown Speaker 30:55
I haven't because I kind of self I bought a bunch of books on it. I read every book there is on childhood abuse, how it adults end up and I don't feel any of the things that it says you know, like, I don't feel the need that I need to like tell a psychologist like oh, you sound inside me 20 years like I don't feel that I'm over it that's it wasn't me it was this six o'clock you know had nothing to do with me I was the victim and, and I'm not gonna play victim I was just a victim that I'm over it you know?

Unknown Speaker 31:26
Yeah, I think you know, it's it's a strong statement, the fact that you're able to talk about it openly like this. I mean, yeah, we go back you know, you know, from fighting and stuff like that. But obviously this is not gonna be just between you and I. So your ability to talk about it to complete strangers is a testament to how far you've come and you know, maybe fully gotten over it or just you're you're okay, and you live with it in a healthy way. So, that right there is amazing and I'm so happy that something like that is being told on this podcast because, you know, obviously it's called sex and violence. But that right there is actually a big part of sex and violence. So that's

Unknown Speaker 32:06
affect a lot of people in their life. I mean, sexually violent. Yeah, exactly. That's, those are some deep,

Unknown Speaker 32:13
deep, deep roots.

Unknown Speaker 32:16
Well, you know, like, I just felt like I went about the right right way of dealing with it. I educated myself and I majored in psychology to try to learn, like, what's going on in my head? What was going on in his head? What was going on in my mom, so why did I feel it? And like, I just realized it doesn't matter. You know, like, I got, I just, it doesn't hurt me anymore. But Amanda was the one that was mainly like, there are other people that is happening to now that you can stop and then I found out there was like six other girls that he did it to in my own family and family friends, where I'm like, Damn, if I said something, you know, maybe I could have done something you know, and that's what makes me talk about it to prevent it from happening to someone else. If you can't deal with it, I know people now that has happened to that are still seeing therapists in their 30s. And it's, and it breaks my heart. Everyone's different and deals with things differently. And it's just like, man, like, I'm lucky that I'm able to just kind of put this behind me and realize there's nothing I can do about it. Yeah, your strong soul for sure.

Unknown Speaker 33:21
So do you think that had anything to do with the development of your sexuality? Meaning? Well, first, first of all, I'd like to ask your how you identify it. You know, obviously, you're married to Amanda, are you gay, bisexual?

Unknown Speaker 33:33
Well, I don't like I would say that I'm gay because I'm married to Amanda. I don't. I obviously I've dated men in the past. I've dated women I Okay, so this, I guess this would make the most sense is that after I started dating women, I never went back to dating then. I've stayed woman women for without past 12 years, 13 years. Okay, so I don't, but it's just so happens that I got into two long relationships with two females. And that would make me gay because, but the women I tend to be attracted to are masculine, they have to be more masculine to me. And that's kind of hard to find not because I'm a masculine female, but I'm a fighter. If I can beat your ass that kind of doesn't make me feel like you're more masculine than me. I'm right there with your sister. Again,

Unknown Speaker 34:24
I should not be able to beat you up.

Unknown Speaker 34:26
Yeah, so and like, that's kind of hard to find that narrows my choices down quite a bit.

Unknown Speaker 34:33
I mean, I guess I found the right one. Yeah, you did.

Unknown Speaker 34:38
Okay, so I would just I'm curious, because, you know, nowadays it's, it's so you kinda have to walk on eggshells. When you talk about how people identify, right? Yeah. And

Unknown Speaker 34:50
yeah, I mean, I'm a little bit in the torn between the way like, how people I feel like identify like, I don't care who you're fucking like. I don't know why we have to make it. Like I didn't even tell my family like I never had a conversation with them where I was like, Guys, I need to tell you something. I literally brought Amanda to my house. I brought other girls but I brought a man and I'm like, she's staying here cuz she was living into the gym at the time. She's staying here in my room. And I'm like, everyone put it together. To talk about this. My older brother was like, oh, is your special friend coming out?

Unknown Speaker 35:33
Let's go. So I'm assuming from that situation that your family has always been supportive of your life choices with your partners.

Unknown Speaker 35:40
Yeah, I mean, my I'm like such a daddy's girl like I can do no wrong and my father's eyes, but he comes from a very Eastern European background where like, his family back there would still like maybe if I wasn't successful, maybe if I wasn't maybe it would be different. I don't know I'm not in that position. I've always been a hard working successful before this came out. You know, I've always before I started fighting before anything, I've always had this hard working drive and this this thing for success, that maybe if I was a nobody, I don't know. That's why I feel like some people get in these situations. And if you look at it, it's kind of true if you if you look at people how they look at fame and success, they overlook things they might have felt differently about, and I don't think that's fair. I think that's why some people struggle with it. But that's, I feel like why I never struggled because I was so driven on what I was doing outside of who I was sleeping with, and it never mattered.

Unknown Speaker 36:41
Yeah, it shouldn't. It shouldn't matter just like it shouldn't matter what color your skin is what religion you that, you know, what God you pray to that stuff is all you know, extra. What matters is the type of person and the type of human your being and what you're contributing to the world. And, you know, you and I had a brief moment where I was kind of giving you The lowdown on what we're going to talk about, and I talked about you being a great LGBTQ representative. It's a lot of letters.

Unknown Speaker 37:08
I think there's more and that's why there are I did so much research Nina,

Unknown Speaker 37:12
so I didn't want to miss this.

Unknown Speaker 37:15
That's how like, you know, like I, you do you know more about it than I do, probably because I never associated myself with who other people sleep with. Like I don't. It just I don't know, like I, I am there for anyone. Amanda and I get messages all the time from young girls, or young boys are like, I don't know how to tell my dad. Oh, all right, I'll help you out. I have no problem doing that. Because at this point, I feel like being gay being a lesbian is normal. To me, that's something different. I know the whole trans queer like that's, I don't know if I'm not educated on it because I don't know anyone in that community. Or I'm grouped into that community because I'm a lesbian. It's just confusing for me as well. So I can imagine for someone that is not in any of the letters, I guess. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 38:09
I'm not alone. I don't want to

Unknown Speaker 38:10
sound like arrogant or like an asshole, but I'm just a lesbian. Like, I've met transsexuals. And people that don't identify or like identify as a man that's gay that like, I've heard some things. And, and I don't know what to say because I don't. It's hard to categorize those things. I mean, come on, and lesbian is different from transgender and transexual. Of course, yes, yes, it is. But now there's my community and all supportive because I support any human being and whatever they do, they can add whatever letter they want. If they're a human, I'm going to support what they do. But I don't feel like it's part of who I am and what I do.

Unknown Speaker 38:52
Yeah, I mean, you do get chunked in there with a large group of people. And, you know, some might say that I takes away from who you are. Because, you know, you don't even know what the letters stand for at the end of the LGBTQ IBM z alphabet, you

Unknown Speaker 39:08
know, yeah. And that's the thing. And I and I and Amanda and I've gone to many events. And we've been awarded different things for like visibility or asks of gay athletes, all this stuff. And like, I think that's awesome. And then sometimes they come up to us like asking us, our thoughts on the politics of this person thinks about marriage, but wants to take away this for the rights of this. And sometimes I feel airings, I don't, I don't know who I'm supposed to vote for, or what laws I'm supposed to like. And that's where man and I kind of look at it, like we just like each other together. And whether you're gonna tell us we can't get married or can't get married or this is the right and that's the right like, I didn't need to get any papers to get pregnant with this baby. And Amanda's gonna be the most The baby. Yeah, I didn't need to sign the paper to say that I'm gonna be with Amanda. We're gonna be together no matter what. So sometimes it gets confusing because some people are so adamant about the rights and the labels and and get caught up in that rather than just like you're a human and you look whatever the fuck you love, like what's the big deal? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 40:20
I agree and regardless of you know who I mean obviously voting is important, you know, I would be lying if I said I was an active voter but you know, I wouldn't feel bad about not knowing you know, your politicians and and what they stand for and all that because I think you yourself are, you know, an active and you know, like you said, visible representative of your community. And you you know, being out there Love is love being open, being kind being successful. I think you're doing that is leaving your mark in the community already, so I wouldn't want to feel too bad about that. Earlier you talked about your dad being from Macedonia and Real old school and traditional right? Yep. I just wanted to ask your opinion on this, you know, you're not going to be fighting in Abu Dhabi, which is fight Island. For those of you who don't understand what I'm talking about. It's the

Unknown Speaker 41:13
How would you say that the leased out island

Unknown Speaker 41:17
in the temporary home of the UFC for the next few fights UFC fights in July, and I was reading up on the laws and you know there and it's, quote, all sexual relations outside of heterosexual marriage are criminalized punishments may include jail time flogging death finds in deportation. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 41:38
and so I was just like, what the fuck

Unknown Speaker 41:40
and I was like, why a man and I don't want to go there. Okay, I'm glad

Unknown Speaker 41:44
I asked then cuz I'm like, what, how is this fucking possible? Like, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 41:47
because like we didn't. We have been very good about not giving a shit about our sexuality and where we hug. Hold hands. We don't like make out in public. I never even did that when I was training. I mean, we don't like go around. I like we don't really go to many pride parades because they get turned into like, you see a guy walking on his G string and I'm like, I don't

Unknown Speaker 42:12
I don't see that normally. So why

Unknown Speaker 42:14
do I want to be like two guys like making out and grabbing each other crutches or two girls just being and this is something that this isn't representing pride. This is something different. And this is not something that like an Amanda and I are like that will hold hands. But if we're in a place where we know there's elderly people, children, we don't kiss we don't. We don't make it uncomfortable. We respect people around us, but just the going to Abu Dhabi people knowing who Amanda is. They know she's gay. They know we're gay. It's all over the internet. And that's not something that we want to deal with on a mind that is so close that there's no other way. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like I just saw my nieces today. They're five and six years old and one's 15. And they asked Like, are you married to a man? And I was like, yeah. And then the six year olds like, Yeah, I saw on TV two boys were married. And I go, yeah, and then she's like, but for me, it's weird to see two boys.

Unknown Speaker 43:12
And like that. She's six, six. I mean, I feel

Unknown Speaker 43:18
I feel like I mean, everyone has their own personal beliefs. But I feel like that's a great age to start educating that, you know, you just said that.

Unknown Speaker 43:25
That's okay. Exactly. And I said, Yeah, you saw the two boys that me and me and Amanda, were married to and she's like, she laughed like,

Unknown Speaker 43:37
Mike was kind of like, Okay.

Unknown Speaker 43:40
truthful, like Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 43:43
Her older sister when she was eight years old, who was very close with growing up, I was sitting in the sauna with her one time because we were like Colorado, just like I want to go see what the sauna you know. Yeah, room, you're not supposed to go and go and I turned that turned it off, and I'm like, let's get in the sauna. And she's like, shooting me I know you and Amanda are lesbians and I don't care. I still love you and I just

Unknown Speaker 44:07
wrote about their

Unknown Speaker 44:09
made me more uncomfortable than it made her.

Unknown Speaker 44:12
Okay, well, that's that.

Unknown Speaker 44:15
Oh gosh, well yeah, gotta love kids. So you're in the third trimester and I sound like such a nerd. I was like, I was doing my reading but I was reading

Unknown Speaker 44:25
and they say that

Unknown Speaker 44:26
women in their in the last trimester get more horny, more aroused, so their sex drive sex drive increases. Have you felt any of

Unknown Speaker 44:33
that? I, I felt it the whole time. Like it's like, yeah, it doesn't go away. But like, it's funny because Amanda and I are very serious, but we're also very funny because, like, okay, don't put your hand here while you're doing it because like, it kicks you in, like you get weirded out and you stop. Like, this is like the baby needs the oxygen.

Unknown Speaker 45:00
The circulation like

Unknown Speaker 45:03
no it is I mean there but don't put your hand anywhere near my stomach

Unknown Speaker 45:06
and eat it later okay so you can use this and this is scientific not just don't just say Ashley said this but so let's just say you know you're like about to pop, you can just be like, hey, you want me to have this baby right? Sex induces labor it it does exactly

Unknown Speaker 45:22
that okay so this might be too much but sometimes never never does my period from coming so when I'm like I have a fight I want this thing to come before we're doing this every day

Unknown Speaker 45:38
so do you guys normally okay pre baby? Do you guys believe in that whole abstaining from sex before a fight? Or is that just kind of dude thing are you just kind of get it on whenever

Unknown Speaker 45:48
I need to tell you. I need to tell you something. Okay? For a long time I thought I was doing everything right like don't eat this. Don't have sex. Don't do that. And then I'm doing it with the dog. Like the most dominant female champion in the world, and like, I'm overthinking it, is out here having fun. Open everyone's eyes. And I'm like, I've been wrong this whole time.

Unknown Speaker 46:09
That's so true. I mean, if you want to, like, see why, you know, like,

Unknown Speaker 46:14
I feel like you have something very unique right in front of you like, what is this person doing? It's clearly working for her. So like a roadmap to success, if you will, right in front of you. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 46:25
And then not everything works, right? Like,

Unknown Speaker 46:27
you're not supposed to do this. We're like, how do we know we didn't do it? Let's do it. Oh, you won the first round this works. I think people overanalyze everything, especially in the fight world, like you're not supposed to do this. You can't smoke weed. You can't do this. You have to be so serious all the time. You have to train every single day, three times a day. That's bullshit. And I did that and I'm not a champion. Amanda didn't do that. And

Unknown Speaker 46:51
it's a different story there.

Unknown Speaker 46:53
There's no there's no right. schedule, game plan, you know, training schedule. There. No,

Unknown Speaker 47:00
not even diet. You obviously lucky underwear. There's no diet. No, no, nope, nope. None of that. Yeah, no, it doesn't work. It doesn't exist. I I've walked into fights where I was fucked up shit. And I was drinking a week before and I knocked the girl in the first round. Give me that.

Unknown Speaker 47:19
I'm over that and the hard thing And the beautiful thing at the same time is that you just have to go through it and find out what works for you. Yeah, you know, so as if I haven't already been intrusive. We're gonna get a little intrusive right now. But

Unknown Speaker 47:32
on the topic of six.

Unknown Speaker 47:34
What's like the weirdest, strangest place you guys have ever had sex?

Unknown Speaker 47:40
Oh, it would have to be like at her family's house. When we're in Brazil. I know. It's not like anything like a cool crazy story. But the walls are like, very thin and there's no walls that go all the way up to a roof so everyone can hear everything. There's no walls that go up to a roof. No, they stopped like where Stealing would normally be. It's just open to the next room.

Unknown Speaker 48:03
Oh gosh. So it's like kind of like a loft.

Unknown Speaker 48:06
Yeah, like that

Unknown Speaker 48:09
wall. And it's like, you can't and it's like you hear like noises or like, I don't know for me like grandma's coughing I know I bet that would have to be like the most. I mean, I i can i mean the cage at a gym? Oh, right. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 48:35
That's not weird to you

Unknown Speaker 48:37
guys who spent a lot of time you know, but like the average person like

Unknown Speaker 48:40
in the cage is mind blowing. Like getting a specific location of such cage we use but yeah.

Unknown Speaker 48:46
Okay, so one of the last

Unknown Speaker 48:49
segments here, you know, in during the interview process. I did last week with Tracy Cortez. It worked out really well. It's the lightning sex round.

Unknown Speaker 49:05
So how it works? I'm gonna say something a word or an action and you just say yes or no, you can't no time to say maybe Okay,

Unknown Speaker 49:13
Okay, ready? All right. All right. lightnings

Unknown Speaker 49:16
extra. Here we go dirty talking bed.

Unknown Speaker 49:19
Yes, like to be spanked. Yes. Biting. No foot fetish. No choking. No threesomes

Unknown Speaker 49:30
No. Do you watch porn?

Unknown Speaker 49:33
Oh,

Unknown Speaker 49:34
come on, come on. No.

Unknown Speaker 49:37
Rope playing.

Unknown Speaker 49:40
first minute

Unknown Speaker 49:43
sex toys. Yeah. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 49:46
All right. Okay, I'm not lesbian.

Unknown Speaker 49:51
All right. Cool. Thank you so much data. That

Unknown Speaker 49:54
was the lightning sex round. Hey, okay, cool. This one. This one is my favorite. It's called Fuck, Marry, Kill.

Unknown Speaker 50:10
Kill one go. I think we're done. We're done here.

Unknown Speaker 50:13
If you don't know what it is pretty simple. I'm gonna give you three now. Okay, great. So I'm gonna give you three names. You gotta choose one you gotta fuck one marry one kill one. All right, ready? Okay. All right, you got and I always say her name wrong but our Jani Celeste, the ring card girl.

Unknown Speaker 50:27
You got

Unknown Speaker 50:29
the UFC commentator interviewer Laura sanko Okay, and last but not least my favorite. Heidi been from the UFC? She from the UFC. Behind the Scenes Not a lot of people unless you're an actual fighter know who this is, but she's one of the amazing ladies who makes the

Unknown Speaker 50:44
three of us.

Unknown Speaker 50:47
That's why it's

Unknown Speaker 50:49
okay, okay, okay, one more time we got Ariana Celeste, the ring card girl, Laura sanko, UFC commentator and Heidi Dean internal affairs of the UFC.

Unknown Speaker 51:00
Can I like married to and fuck wanted? Oh, no, no no.

Unknown Speaker 51:06
Jeez, okay, we're gonna

Unknown Speaker 51:09
we're gonna I'm gonna marry Heidi. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 51:15
Uh huh.

Unknown Speaker 51:17
Oh boy. We're gonna have to who's

Unknown Speaker 51:25
gonna have to kill our Jani?

Unknown Speaker 51:27
Sorry, honey.

Unknown Speaker 51:30
Like oh, it's a hard word. You know, I was like really tough honestly. Like, I put that together and I'm like you can see me with my hands together like

Unknown Speaker 51:42
that was like that wasn't even fair like obvious killing one Oh, no.

Unknown Speaker 51:49
Hey, Tracy Cortez got like the cringy list of cringe guys last week she got like Colby Covington

Unknown Speaker 51:55
Oh god, that's so much easier. No, because I gave her a bunch of Guys she wants to kill you know, so she had to

Unknown Speaker 52:03
call him like well there's

Unknown Speaker 52:07
no I gave her like Henry sudo and oh, God was the other like really obnoxious one

Unknown Speaker 52:13
she got like three kill option so anything she said Other than that, it's like relieving

Unknown Speaker 52:18
the word.

Unknown Speaker 52:20
All right so the last segment is called fan questions.

Unknown Speaker 52:29
Just simple I put it out there for all the fans who wanted to ask something and a couple of lucky people get to ask you, you ready? Oh, okay. So at our XP underscore underscore wants to know who is the more affectionate out of you and Amanda?

Unknown Speaker 52:48
I would say back unit is

Unknown Speaker 52:52
me. Me for sure me.

Unknown Speaker 52:54
Yeah, cuz you said you were like real motherly too.

Unknown Speaker 52:57
Yeah. I mean, she and her Had she's probably affectionate.

Unknown Speaker 53:03
Okay, nice. All right. So the next one is it's kind of like a three part but at little lard L. Would you be okay if your baby wanted to grow up to be a fighter?

Unknown Speaker 53:16
No, I don't want her. I mean, if she look this is the thing we don't want her to be a fighter. We're hoping she's going to be so young when we both retire that she's not even going to be involved in that life so much that she's gonna want to be in it. But if for some reason she like research says that 10 years old and finds out who we are and starts going to some underground again, I'd rather trainer than someone else.

Unknown Speaker 53:40
Good answer. Good answer. I don't think anyone wants to see their baby get punched and kicked and all that. Oh, I

Unknown Speaker 53:45
don't like I know what it feels like when Amanda fights you know, and she's like, my wife, my kid. Oh my god. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 53:52
yeah. Okay, so at Debbie underscore Anna says the UFC fighters appear to be a very diverse group of people. The audience Doesn't seem to be they seem to be mainly white male dominated, in your experience, Has this ever created difficulties for you? And if so, what kind?

Unknown Speaker 54:09
I would say the only negative comments I've experienced are usually white male dominant. But it doesn't mean you know, we don't really think of the sands too much in that kind of way. Like you get, especially in the position of man and Ira because we are openly lesbians, you get a lot of horrible comments, but you also get a lot of great ones too. So I mean, pick and choose what bothers you What doesn't hear me? It doesn't bother me like what everyone thinks what everyone feels whatever, whoever the fans are, whatever kind of group that likes us or doesn't like it doesn't matter. I'm still fighting. I'm still collecting my paycheck. And that's it.

Unknown Speaker 54:50
Yeah, and I what you've already said in this interview alone has proven that you're a very strong willed, strong minded person, so you probably don't give two shits about what some troll says.

Unknown Speaker 55:00
Yeah, exactly. I usually like make them my friend by the end of the comment if I want to reply So,

Unknown Speaker 55:05
god I can't I can't even with those. I'm just like, I get all emotional Like what?

Unknown Speaker 55:10
No, not me like usually Amanda, I will say something funny and then by the end of it, they're following us.

Unknown Speaker 55:15
That's the way to do it. If you can control your emotions. I don't know. That's like

Unknown Speaker 55:21
all right. Last fan question at Sr. Barbara says, What do you feel the biggest misinterpretation of lesbians is?

Unknown Speaker 55:32
Um, that we hate men. Oh, yeah. Yeah, everyone thinks we're like bitter man hating lesbian, but like that's not true. I just like Amanda. Like

Unknown Speaker 55:47
Well, that's the end of the of the whole podcast. Thank you so much, Nina. This has been super educational for me and entertaining.

Unknown Speaker 55:56
Thank you for having me. And I'm glad that I could bring your education level up. lesbianism and in vitro and whatever else you might have learned about

Unknown Speaker 56:03
durable uteruses I mean, so much

Unknown Speaker 56:09
all the guys are gonna be like, oh my lord.

Unknown Speaker 56:11
Yeah, I know. Right? This is strangely weird. What happened to the sex talk?

Unknown Speaker 56:17
Here lesbian gay, you know goes on in there.

Unknown Speaker 56:21
Thank you so much. And I'm gonna be, you know, paying attention and stalking you from social media and then maybe after you, you know, pop this kid out, we can have you back on to hear about how your vagina is doing.

Unknown Speaker 56:32
Yeah, I'll let you

Unknown Speaker 56:35
Okay, talk to you soon. Cuz

Unknown Speaker 56:54
I like the way they walk.

Unknown Speaker 57:08
What did I say? Guys? What did I say? Did I say it was gonna bring you the full spectrum here on sex and violence. We got the streets, we got the gays, we got the boys, we got the girls, we got it all. Actually, we have yet to have a single dude on the show. But I'm sure that's not hard to find. If you feel surprised, but each one of these episodes you hear, I'm not shocked because I'm honestly surprised at the end of each episode myself. I don't go into these interviews with some kind of ulterior motive. I just want to give each fighter or a couple a platform to talk about their personal lives to showcase the person behind what we see in the cage. There's more to these individuals than rankings records and stats. Sometimes you're going to hear about fight live. Sometimes you're going to hear about past relationships. And sometimes you hear about the sexy sexy and naughty stuff. And sometimes you hear about baby bumps and LGBT EQ rights. If you haven't realized by now, sex and violence is a show that doesn't discriminate, and neither should you. If that's a new concept to you, then this is probably not the show for you. So, bye, Felicia. And I believe it's our job as humans to find a way to coexist and appreciate the short time we have here on Earth. So love each other, laugh more, stand up for your rights, but also, don't get lost in the war. And if you like this podcast, help it grow, tell at least one person send a text tweet dm, and ratings and reviews have been a huge help to thank you guys so much for tuning in and for all your fan questions. Big shout out to producer Rick Lee at Wrigley audio engineer DJ Zoo at DJ zoo tomorrow kid studio where the magic happens at tomorrow kids official you can find us on Instagram at sex and violence with rebel girl and myself. Ashley Ma. Subscribe to this podcast and tune in next week to hear more tales of sex and violence.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Share this post


Leave a comment

Note, comments must be approved before they are published